Buying shoes in shoe stores

[Dawn HH]

Aly:-) Thanks for the information. Since our local Payless stores don't carry any heels, there is nothing to try on and ordering over the net could be a crap shoot. But all in all it is something to consider. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[joenj]

Hi. This is Joe. I am Bi, preferring guys. I have a Learning Disability history. I have bought several shoes; most at Fabco in Elizabeth, NJ ( downtown). I live closer to New York. I agree with the others-- the combined-self service and more mature sales clerks stores will be better. I understand that the general rule is that women's shoes are 2 sizes larger than men's. For me, I wear mens 8 / women's 10. The first shoes I bought were a pair of LEI boots, 3" heel ( lifeenergyintelligence.com ) that I bought at Milady's. The heel was too hard to walk in (wood). I threw them away. I went without for a while. Next, in the summer, I bought some foam-platform sandals (for wearing in my house/apartment) for comfort. Fairly recently, I bought a pair of boots, with a 1 1/2" heel, leather heel ( which I am wearing now ) , and more recently, a pair of boots ( leather heel ) 2 1/2" high; thick heel and 1/2" sole --- seem to be fairly solid and comfortable. I wore these last saturday to Chelsea ( NYC ). I work at a university, and don't think the highest heel would go over too well. I wish you all the best. Life is tough. ((( hugs )))

[Dawn HH]

Joenj:-) Welcome to you on becoming a board member of the HH Place Forum. There are lots of nice people here for you to get to know. Enjoy posting. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Jimnj3]

joenj, Hello and welcome to the Forum. Jim

[joenj]

Thanks for the welcome. I may post here, in "For the guys", and elsewhere ( TV / CD ) . Peace. /signed/ Joe

[Dawn HH]

Joenj:-) You can post anywhere your little heart desires except "For The Gals" thread as the moderators frown on us guys taking over that thread and they want it left for the girls to post in. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[genebujold]

Hi, joenj - welcome aboard! Regardless of your reason for wearing heels, your presence here is welcome.

[joenj]

This is a correction. The foam sandals I own are <<BluSurf>>, 2" sole. Boots: <<Lucita >> 1 3/4" heel; ( measured at heel ) Boots: <<Intrigue >> for Fabco Shoe Store; 3" heel; 1" sole. (( sigh )) Life is tough. Thanks for your support.

[dressboots]

re. Boots from Payless. I do not have a store near me but am familiar with their listings on the net. Do you find that the shaft of the tall boots fit a slim calf or are they cut generous? That is always the most "risky" thing for me to purchase boots through the mail as my calves are slim, so seldom find tall boots that fit well. I wear a 12M with high heels comfortably. Note: I have learned ot avoid outlets that cater to "large" women as their boots are always way too big in the shaft for me.

[Jimnj3]

Dressboots, The last pair I bought at Payless were kneeboots, 3" heel. The size was a 12M as yours and the shaft size wasn't overly large. It was a stretch boot and it fits me snuggly in the calf. Mine are not slim though but I'll bet it would work out OK for you..Jim

[dressboots]

I think it is interesting that older clerks are less likely to "pass judgement" on a guy buying "women's" shoes. Perhaps a mark of maturity, that by an older age people have learned that money is "green" regardless of whose pocket it is coming from, another point made here. Thanks for the pointers. Have tried excuses - which clerks saw through. Have tried telling the truth and been shown what I was interested in and offered a try on, as well as others giving me the cold shoulder. I guess everyone knows by now who got my money that day and in the future.

[Firefox]

I have never been given the cold shoulder in 20 years of shoe buying in England. I think this is one difference between England and the USA. I get the impression that certain parts of the USA are very countrified, religious, and traditional values reign supreme; like they have not seen many people from out of town. A big contrast to more developed areas like the North East or Pacific coast. This is what people have told me. In England, and Europe it's different. People seem to move around more and you don't get these pockets of ignorance where some sales clerk may think he is upholding the community but in fact he's just failed every retail test in one step. Please feel free to correct me if I've got this wrong.

[JinxieKat]

I have never been given the cold shoulder in 20 years of shoe buying in England. I think this is one difference between England and the USA. I get the impression that certain parts of the USA are very countrified, religious, and traditional values reign supreme; like they have not seen many people from out of town. A big contrast to more developed areas like the North East or Pacific coast. This is what people have told me.

Oh my yes! I've lived in Boston, MA and now live in Louisville, KY. What a big difference. Louisville is, in theory, a city It is large enough, but does it lack alot of the tolerance and diversity that I am used to in Boston. Not everyone is completely intolerant, but there is a distinct difference. Perhaps people are less jaded here? I'm not sure, they are friendlier, which is nice as well. I'm not even getting into the hills of western Kentucky here, wow... that just gets to flat out intollerant, prejudice, the whole nine yards. And again, I'm sure it isn't everyone, heck I know it isn't, but the majority.. most likely

Jinxie

[loveheel]

I have never been given the cold shoulder in 20 years of shoe buying in England. I think this is one difference between England and the USA. I get the impression that certain parts of the USA are very countrified, religious, and traditional values reign supreme; like they have not seen many people from out of town. A big contrast to more developed areas like the North East or Pacific coast. This is what people have told me.

In England, and Europe it's different. People seem to move around more and you don't get these pockets of ignorance where some sales clerk may think he is upholding the community but in fact he's just failed every retail test in one step.

.

On the other hand I find that In Europe people are less reserved in giving their reaction (in particular when it is negative). In the US, there is a certain amount of reservation in personal relations. So even the people that "disapprove" would not say so.

[genebujold]

Generally speaking, the more diversity to which any given population has been exposed, the more tolerant they are to diversity. When I visited a country-western bar near St. Louis last year, I was surprised to find that all the guys wearing traditional country-western garb (jeans, cowboy boots, and cowboy hats) while always sporting pierced ears - almost every single one of them. And the styles were almost all the same, too. We're talking hundreds of folks, here, so this was clearly an example whereby a local population wanted to be hip, to do something different, but all of them gave in to peer pressure and did the same thing to be different. Contrast that with LA, Vegas, New York, or London, where you'll find a lot of different people being, well, different.

[loveheel]

Today I went shopping and bought a couple of pairs of boots. I got seduced into getting a pink pair. My first one ! Pretty cool. At the same time I was buying another guy came in and wanted a pair of high heel boots in size 11 for himself. He claimed they were for a play in which he performed. Sounded pretty transparent to me ...

[joenj]

It's more important ( I feel ) to prove to the sales-team ( women and/or men ) that you will not fall flat on your face, walking in the shoes you want to buy ( grin ) . . I want to feel comfortable as I walk down one flight of steps. That's why the composition of the heel is important. Also, I think the shoes I have now are vinyl. They may not protect against the cold, versus leather shoes. I need to test, with wool socks; nylon layered socks. Oh well. Peace.

[dressboots]

firefox, I have no experience outside of USA but the northeast is much more tolerant of being different than the south. Howver, I knew religious people in the northeast that believed a guy dressing effeminate was not in God's will and thus to be shunned as evil, so it is hard to make genral statements. I wonder if it is more that many people want to remain "off the radar" of society. If you are different you standout in a crowd. I have often heard people comment about the odd looking person (in dress and fashion) they saw in a big city - not the millions of people dressed the same.

[heelsRus]

firefox,

I have no experience outside of USA but the northeast is much more tolerant of being different than the south. Howver, I knew religious people in the northeast that believed a guy dressing effeminate was not in God's will and thus to be shunned as evil, so it is hard to make genral statements.

I wonder if it is more that many people want to remain "off the radar" of society. If you are different you standout in a crowd. I have often heard people comment about the odd looking person (in dress and fashion) they saw in a big city - not the millions of people dressed the same.

Shouldn't intolerant people be shunned as evil? Isn't it taught in nearly every religion that you must be tolerant? So,.....

I'm not religious but go to church every now and again for special functions (usually involves food and very little religion). One time I got held captive by a couple that must have been new to religion as they were very evangelical/preachy/whatever. Apparently I wasn't the only one they had done that to. I heard they were asked to move churches as that method wasn't helpful to the cause.

I'm not sure about Canada in general, but in Toronto there are at least pockets where you can dress however you feel. Once, a few years ago, we were walking along the major street there (Yonge St) and passed by a store front (ok, we passed by lots of them but stick with me :-) ). Standing outside handing out pamphlets of some description was someone in (rather high) sandals - probably 6" though there was a platform IIRC - hot pants and well made up. She (he) passed as a woman fairly well. However, as we walked past, my wife turned to me and said "that's a guy!". Uh, yeah, and he's wearing higher heels than you and skimpier clothing :-) (thankfully I said that to myself) Hehe.

[Rockpup]

"firefox: I get the impression that certain parts of the USA are very countrified, religious, and traditional values reign supreme; like they have not seen many people from out of town. "

The evening news has been calling those areas "the red states" in reference to the last presidential election.

I am amazed when I travel to some areas.. most notably northwest florida, and central Wisconsin that the talk radio stations tend to spend most of their time discussing the evils of both abortion and homosexuality. Listening to them you'd think that our country is about to be wiped out due to these topics, and it concerns me that they may actually feel that way.

Odd..

Btw, I have gone shoe shopping in heels recently.. wore my 4" Tommy Hilfigur boots with longer jeans while shopping for these boots

Unfortunatly I could not find them in stores.. so I had to order them. Very interesting boots, quite flexible, but they are fun to wear while doing yard work *Grin*

Not 100% in the topic, sorry

Jim

[JeffB]

It's kinda funny for me in that I haven't actually bought shoes in person for quite some time now as all of my most recent purchases over the last several months have been via online resources. Not because I'm self-conscious about going into stores, that ceased being a concern long ago, rather that I can find more places that carry my size (13 wide) on the Internet than in stores where sizes are often limited to just size 11. Oh, well, you just do as best you can!

[Epi Cene]

Any "Nordstrom Rack" (U.S.) store is my favorite place to buy shoes, boots and sandals in public.

Terrific selection (even of larger sizes-flat to 4 inch heels); selve serve for 1 shoe of the pair, ask for the other shoe at the counter. Try the first on either in the women's area or just move to the men's area if you're more comfortable with that. Good prices for the quality.

Employee's are OK with guys getting women's shoes. They see it all the time. They make money selling shoes, they don't care whose money it is. Most customers don't notice or care.

Locations at this link:

http://about.nordstrom.com/MapPoint/PrxInput.aspx

[chris100575]

Having had a good first week in my new job I decided to treat myself to a new pair of knee high boots. Normally I struggle to zip them up over my calf, so I decided to try Evans, (For non-UK members Evans is a clothes shop for larger ladies) as their boots have wider calves. I went late in the afternoon, and I was the only customer. I spent a few minutes browsing and then asked an assistant if they all had the same calf fitting. She showed me the different widths they had, and I asked if they had a particular boot in a seven. It was black leather with a pointed toe and three inch stiletto heel. She took down the display one, and told me that that one was a seven. Having spent a couple of minutes chatting with her I was feeling pretty relaxed, and without thinking I asked to try it on! She was brilliant, didn't even bat an eyelid. I tried on the boot, and she asked how it felt and if I wanted to try them on as a pair. I really enjoyed myself and tried on a couple of different pairs, including walking across the shop to look at them in the mirror. The assistant even gave her opinion on which looked best on me! As it turned out after trying them at home I decided I wasn't happy with the fit around my lower leg, and decided to exchange them. They had another pair which I'd kept looking at, but for some reason hadn't tried on. They were similar to the original pair, but the legs are ruched with a decorative lace up the side. When I went back, it was morning and although the shop was quiet there were other customers including a couple of guys with their SO's. The same assistant was there, and I asked about exchanging the boots. She got me the other pair and right off the bat asked if I wanted to try them on. Despite the other customers I did, again walking across the shop in them to look at them in the mirror. The assistant told me that this pair looked much better on me, and that she was jealous of how easily I could walk in them! I'm not sure if any of the other customers noticed, but no-one said anything. Sorry for the extremely long post, but it's another milestone for me! Chris

[shyguy]

Evans doesn't have a large range of boots and shoes though, at least around here they don't. I often look though, as my wife spends lots of money and time in Evans. Heres a tip for anyone using Evans for shoes regularly, if you get an account there, after a while they give you a gold card which gives 10% off all footwear. Just got mine this morning, but won't be able to use the discount for myself as my wife is against me buying shoes for myself. Any pics of your purchases Chris??

[chris100575]

Evans in Stockport have quite a good selection, although not as good as at the Trafford Centre. I couldn't have an account with anywhere that sold shoes, the consequences would be disastrous! My wife spends a lot in there too, and I always look at the shoes.

I've just taken a few pics, I'll post them in the "Leather knee boots and skirt" thread I started so as not to clog this one.

Chris

Link

[Dawn HH]

Chris100575:-) Congrats for being brave enough to try on boots in a shoe store. Now that's progress. I'll be sure to have a look at your pics in your other thread. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[sendra45]

Hi,

When ever I have bought shoes or boots in Evans they have taken it in their stride.

I take a size ten and I have to try them on as even in the same shop the sizes are quite different.

they have now got a shoe section in their online shop, but I prefer to wait until the sales and get a bargin, as it happens I would love a pair of their boots with the small blade heel.

www.evansfashion.co.uk I think ( for the guys outside the UK )

the assistant asked me if i wanted a store card last time i bought a pair in my local shop.

for the chap that did not think they had a lot, go to some other stores as well, they seem to stock slightly differently.

well that is what I seem to find.

[chris100575]

I've just checked, and the link is http://www.evansfashion.com. (Just happened to have one of their carrier bags handy!)

When I was trying on the pair of boots I'd chosen as a replacement I asked the assistant if they got many guys buying shoes for themselves. She said that with them stocking up to a size 10 and having the wider fitting, guys shop there quite often.

Nigel is right about them stocking slightly differently in different stores. I've seen another pair of boots that I like in the Trafford Centre branch. that I'm thinking of going back for in January to see if they have any in the sale. Think I might have to go back in January and see if they have any in the sale. If so, I'll definitely try them on.

Chris

[blackslide]

My first encounter buying women's shoes was when I was in high school in 1965. I wanted to match my girlfriends' penny loafers. ( It was OK with her.) I went to Dayton's in Minneapolis and the sales clerk who was a man refused to show them to me and directed me to the men's section - like it was immoral or something to buy women's shoes. I came back another day and bought the shoes from a different clerk but told him they were for my girlfriend. Another occasion, I went back and asked about a pair of natural leather loafers. The sales man took me in the back room to try them on so I would not be embarrassed in front of other customers. While back there he said he bought some for himself and liked them. That was back in 1965. Two years ago I was in Calgary at the mall and looked at some neat calf hight black 3" heel boots while my wife was having eye surgery. I asked the female clerk if I could try them on. I have decided on a policy of trying on boots since boots or shoes that do not fit or that are uncomfortable are a waste of money. I was wearing 3" heel platform boots at the time. She brought out the boots and helped me try them on. There were other women customers around but they did not seem to think anything of it. The clerk said to be sure and zip them up to make sure the upper part of the boot was large enough for my calf. She also brought out another pair of very high heeled platform boots similar to the ones I was wearing. I passed on those but bought the boots I tried on. I wore them for the rest of the trip. At my local department store, I have been in there so often, they are used to me buying shoes. This store has only a women's shoe department and it is tucked back in the womens part of the store. There is no hiding. One clerk in particular always asks if I want to try on something. I usually do now. My gutsy goal is to buy a pair of heeled pumps and ask to wear them out of the store. I have not done that yet. It helps ease the tension to make some comment like "I bet you don't get many guys buying this kind of shoes here?" You would be surprised at the anwers I get. One male clerk said it was quite common for guys to buy Canadian made womens boots in low heels. I dated a gal while living in St. Louis who worked in a large department store. I met her while shopping for a shirt. I was walking out and noticed a sweater that had neat colors in the women's department where she was standing. She was not busy so we struck up a conversation. I was a little uneasy because I was wearing some 3" heeled loafers that looked very feminine. Not a great way to pick up a woman wearing women's shoes. (I was single at the time and on the prowl.) I found out months later that she noticed them but thought they were some western style, since I was dressed in western garb. She also told me she liked to help men try on dresses and other womens clothing. It makes her day more interesting, and she was understanding that not everyone fits the norm. She knew that by being understanding and compassionate to these guys who were buying womens clothing, she could add to her customer base. She had a minimum sales quota per month and was paid extra for anything above the minimum. She was very understanding of my shoes and we spent many fun weekends exploring shoe stores together, as she like shoes too. We were twins in some styles we bought. As far as advice, you will get some redneck guy who makes a smart ass comment. Best come back later if a guy like that is in the store. Generally the clerks are very understanding if you are up front with them -and this is in redneck country!

[blackslide]

My first encounter buying women's shoes was when I was in high school in 1965. I wanted to match my girlfriends' penny loafers. ( It was OK with her.) I went to Dayton's in Minneapolis and the sales clerk who was a man refused to show them to me and directed me to the men's section - like it was immoral or something to buy women's shoes. I came back another day and bought the shoes from a different clerk but told him they were for my girlfriend. Another occasion, I went back and asked about a pair of natural leather loafers. The sales man took me in the back room to try them on so I would not be embarrassed in front of other customers. While back there he said he bought some for himself and liked them. That was back in 1965. Two years ago I was in Calgary at the mall and looked at some neat calf hight black 3" heel boots while my wife was having eye surgery. I asked the female clerk if I could try them on. I have decided on a policy of trying on boots since boots or shoes that do not fit or that are uncomfortable are a waste of money. I was wearing 3" heel platform boots at the time. She brought out the boots and helped me try them on. There were other women customers around but they did not seem to think anything of it. The clerk said to be sure and zip them up to make sure the upper part of the boot was large enough for my calf. She also brought out another pair of very high heeled platform boots similar to the ones I was wearing. I passed on those but bought the boots I tried on. I wore them for the rest of the trip. At my local department store, I have been in there so often, they are used to me buying shoes. This store has only a women's shoe department and it is tucked back in the womens part of the store. There is no hiding. One clerk in particular always asks if I want to try on something. I usually do now. My gutsy goal is to buy a pair of heeled pumps and ask to wear them out of the store. I have not done that yet. It helps ease the tension to make some comment like "I bet you don't get many guys buying this kind of shoes here?" You would be surprised at the anwers I get. One male clerk said it was quite common for guys to buy Canadian made womens boots in low heels. I dated a gal while living in St. Louis who worked in a large department store. I met her while shopping for a shirt. I was walking out and noticed a sweater that had neat colors in the women's department where she was standing. She was not busy so we struck up a conversation. I was a little uneasy because I was wearing some 3" heeled loafers that looked very feminine. Not a great way to pick up a woman wearing women's shoes. (I was single at the time and on the prowl.) I found out months later that she noticed them but thought they were some western style, since I was dressed in western garb. She also told me she liked to help men try on dresses and other womens clothing. It makes her day more interesting, and she was understanding that not everyone fits the norm. She knew that by being understanding and compassionate to these guys who were buying womens clothing, she could add to her customer base. She had a minimum sales quota per month and was paid extra for anything above the minimum. She was very understanding of my shoes and we spent many fun weekends exploring shoe stores together, as she like shoes too. We were twins in some styles we bought. As far as advice, you will get some redneck guy who makes a smart ass comment. Best come back later if a guy like that is in the store. Generally the clerks are very understanding if you are up front with them -and this is in redneck country!