8822 Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Or how to start tell her about this Please answer gals or guys Thanks for all answer El Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genebujold Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Question: "How to tell wife/woman to accept man wear High Heels?" Answer: You can't! All you can do is is be yourself while presenting her with the evidence of men's heel wear throughout the ages (available under several of my recent posts). At that point, she's going to make up her own mind and either relent or stiffin her resolve, at which point you'll have to make a choice - her way or the highway? I'll say this - you can have fun with your heeling, but a relationship means far, far more than a little (or even a lot) of fun, so choose wisely. And who knows? Perhaps in five years when many guys are out heeling she'll come around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8822 Posted August 19, 2004 Author Share Posted August 19, 2004 Question: "How to tell wife/woman to accept man wear High Heels?" Answer: You can't! All you can do is is be yourself while presenting her with the evidence of men's heel wear throughout the ages (available under several of my recent posts). At that point, she's going to make up her own mind and either relent or stiffin her resolve, at which point you'll have to make a choice - her way or the highway? I'll say this - you can have fun with your heeling, but a relationship means far, far more than a little (or even a lot) of fun, so choose wisely. And who knows? Perhaps in five years when many guys are out heeling she'll come around. genebujold your wife share with you the High Heels? how to start to walk in High Heels for man if he tall and do you have tips for me for the beginning thanks to all for help me El Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genebujold Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Hey, El - check http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?p=62745#62745 I covered it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 start with cowboy boots and work your way up (literally). She'll tell you when they're too high..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris100575 Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 He asked that question two years ago... Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnieheel Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 You just put em on and say " Hey hon, how do these look?" Then take it from there. Be brave man! real men wear heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drumitt Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Please read my "mellow with age" thread. It all ended in disaster for me. Just be very careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soular Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 He asked that question two years ago... Chris this is what i was thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefox Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 You can't tell her. The best way is simply to wear them as your normal footwear and not comment on them. If you are introducing someone to the concept, start with more moderate heels and gradually work up to what you normally wear, or if it is discussed, what they are comfortable with if it's acceptable to you. Women normally have two types of objections. 1. That you are going to get attacked, the roof of the world will fall in, you'll lose all your friends, or nobody will ever speak to you as a couple again. Once you have worn heels out and about and they realise this fear is totally unfounded, then this objection will go away. You don't need to say anything. You simply need to demonstrate. 2. Some kind of religious or upbringing objection. This is usually, but not always, brought about from a narrow kind of upbringing or lack of exposure to modern trends. Like most deep seated or illogical fears, you won't be able to do anything to change it. Far better to agree to disagree and ditch that person. It will be better for you and them in the long run. There's no point either of you being unhappy because you can't tolerate someone elses idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Well said, Firefox. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DandyDude Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 A warning is in order: If you tell her, then she may leave you. If she leaves you for wearing heels, then she is overly controlling and you are better off without her. On the other hand, if you wear heels as part of your attire and not as something shameful and secretive, then you will attract women who will find you daring and masculine. Firefox, I see you are back. Good! I do respectfully disagree with you on one thing: If she is up to date on current trends, then she will call him a TS for not wearing FUBU and "Tims." The "thing" is what is called "chavism" in merry olde, to just look as scummy as possible. It's actually the mainstream now. Read those fashion boards, it's the FUBU-ites who call heel-wearing men "wannabe women" more than anyone else. So it's a three year old thread, I don't see signs of reality changing any. "To kiss, pretty Saki, thy shoes' pretty tips, is better than kissing another girl's lips." -Omar Khayyam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 You can't tell her. The best way is simply to wear them as your normal footwear and not comment on them. If you are introducing someone to the concept, start with more moderate heels and gradually work up to what you normally wear, or if it is discussed, what they are comfortable with if it's acceptable to you. Women normally have two types of objections. 1. That you are going to get attacked, the roof of the world will fall in, you'll lose all your friends, or nobody will ever speak to you as a couple again. Once you have worn heels out and about and they realise this fear is totally unfounded, then this objection will go away. You don't need to say anything. You simply need to demonstrate. 2. Some kind of religious or upbringing objection. This is usually, but not always, brought about from a narrow kind of upbringing or lack of exposure to modern trends. Like most deep seated or illogical fears, you won't be able to do anything to change it. Far better to agree to disagree and ditch that person. It will be better for you and them in the long run. There's no point either of you being unhappy because you can't tolerate someone elses idea. WERD!!! Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefox Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Thanks Dandy and Hoverfly Well, I didn't say current trends, I said modern trends. I'm not interested in current trends or fashion boards. Your fashion is what you make it, and althought that could change every 3 months according to the "in crowd" the modern trend is to accept different personal dress choices with a blink of an eye. One is allowed two blinks actually, but any more than that, and one could be one the way to winning the ignorant f***wits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inscapable Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 He asked that question two years ago... Chris Yeah, but that don't make it irrelevant (yeah, I can spell). Same thing then applies today, you dig? Hiya, Firefox. Glad you're back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendra45 Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 Yeah, but that don't make it irrelevant (yeah, I can spell). Same thing then applies today, you dig? Hiya, Firefox. Glad you're back. Hmmmm, If you have only been a member of the HHplace since January,How is it you sound like you know Firefox? If you have registered here before, let me know who you were, I could restore your old name or at least your old posts. Let me know if I can help. The angels have the phonebox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChipsHH Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Agreed (I think). You should wear it as an attire, a part of your everyday wardrobe. Otherwise, keeping it a secret means sudden doom for you (hate to say it that way, but it's the hard truth) and your marriage Formally "HHDude" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heelfan Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 I found that we can admit our fetishes with honesty and yet still lead rich lives with our girlfriends/wives. My wife and I discussed my fetish very early on, but she realises that I can be sexually excited by high heels without diminishing my love for her and our great relationship. We have been very happily married for 34 years and I'm still happily heeling away too! The secret? Until you can be honest and admkit it to yourself, you can't be honest with your loved ones. The best relationships are built on trust, honesty and openess, yes and including warts and all! Be 100% frank whilst being kind and loving at the same time. Cheers, Heelfan Onwards and upwards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euchrid Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 I go along with the 'honest is the best policy' approach in theory. Whether that approach will actually "work", however (i.e. will be accepted by her to any degree) is going to depend on a number of factors, the primary one being how "into" heels you are. Very few woman are going to readily accept her partner keeping and openly wearing 6" stripper-style stilettos and PVC mini skirts. If your heel interest is lower down the "out there" scale, you may fare a lot better. There's still no guarantees though, since this is not something that she will ever understand - lets face it, how much do you understand it yourself, even after living with it for many years (30+ in my case). In practice, I chose to keep my interest secret from my other-half. Why? - fear of rejection, ridicule, exposure, etc. all of those things and more. She recently discovered my 'shoe stash' however so I had to come clean. So far, there's been no tears, tantrums or rows about it. In fact she seems to have found it amusing more than anything. I'm hoping it stays that way. I also realise that trying to now "push the envelope" with my heel wearing (which I could clearly do since my stash is now in my wardrobe) would be a major mistake. I'm hoping things will continue exactly as they were, just with my interest being a shared secret (just like the other shared secrets that couples have) instead of a personal secret. Wish me luck. Always High-Heel Responsibly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobHH Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 I have been fortunate in that my wife (lost her 5+ years ago) and sometime girl friend accept and support my 6" stripper style stilettos, though they never really wore them much themselves. The girl friend is ready to go out in public with me that way, but I'm not ready. Actually, I am changing to the 5" no or low platform stilettos so I don't have to worry about upsetting in the others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Hmmmm, If you have only been a member of the HHplace since January,How is it you sound like you know Firefox? If you have registered here before, let me know who you were, I could restore your old name or at least your old posts. Let me know if I can help. Maybe he has been one of those...yah know one of those learkers. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxylady Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 During my marriage, the wife accepted me wearing high heels. We even used it when we made love, to spice up the game....But then suddenly she changed her mind and this was the end of our relationship. I'm now on my own since the last few years. I met sombody now, but can't commit to a serious relationship. She knows me wearing high heels, but still I'm affraid tocommit to her. Mayby, that's my punishment.... I was probably to open with the wife in the first place FL FoxyLady Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drumitt Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I was only open with my wife after I had kept it a secret for 18 years. Oops!, once she knew, that was it. We are now seperated with no chance of reconcilliation. Just be careful guys! If you've managed to live two seperate lives, enjoying both your companionship and your heeling, my advice is to keep it that way. Don't try to mix the two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 ...snip... She recently discovered my 'shoe stash' however so I had to come clean. So far, there's been no tears, tantrums or rows about it. In fact she seems to have found it amusing more than anything. I'm hoping it stays that way. I also realise that trying to now "push the envelope" with my heel wearing (which I could clearly do since my stash is now in my wardrobe) would be a major mistake. I'm hoping things will continue exactly as they were, just with my interest being a shared secret (just like the other shared secrets that couples have) instead of a personal secret. Wish me luck. Now that is N-E-W-S. I hope she continues to be tolerant about it. I know how you felt about your private interest in shoes and making this a "shared" interest can indeed be a big step. Best wishes for you euchrid! Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwl1 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 If your interest in wearing heels is initially for fetish and sexual arousal, you've sent the wife or SO the message that shoes turn you on. If you continue to wear them a lot so that the fetish/arousal factor diminishes, and you get to the point where you decide you want to wear them in public, what is the woman going to think? She's still programmed to think that heels are fetish, even though perhaps you've moved beyond that and are just enjoying the feeling of wearing them; she may not know that they're no longer the turn-on to you that they once were. No wonder she may be confused and embarrassed to have you wear heels in public! You really need to talk to her about it and about your feelings. Put your cards on the table and find out what's acceptable to her. Communicate and compromise. If you haven't come out of the closet to her yet and she doesn't know about your heel wearing, you should do so, but without a hint of fetish/arousal interest. Just leave that part of you in the closet and come up with another reason for wearing heels (fun? standing taller if she's tall? medical reasons? etc.). She may think it odd, but your chances of going public with her are a lot better if she doesn't associate your interest in heeling with sexual arousal. Those of us who are confident and wear heels in public get away with it because (1) we don't radiate the message to others that this is something we've just taken of the bedroom and we're exhibitionists; and (2) we never programmed our wives/SO's to think that either (or if we did, we've overcome their insecurity about it). GWL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnieheel Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 During my marriage, the wife accepted me wearing high heels. We even used it when we made love, to spice up the game....But then suddenly she changed her mind and this was the end of our relationship. I'm now on my own since the last few years. I met sombody now, but can't commit to a serious relationship. She knows me wearing high heels, but still I'm affraid tocommit to her. Mayby, that's my punishment.... I was probably to open with the wife in the first place FL You r not being punished. There is nothing wrong with U. Do not live in fear and miss out. Life is a risk. Take it. real men wear heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I am really sorry 4 u guys whose wife thinks youre shit 4 wearing heels - becauseive been there. My ex could also not handle it - probly cos she couldnt wear heels herself. Please dont despair. There's plenty of stories on here about guys whove worn heels out and girls who have found them an attraction. I was wearing 3laceups and leather trousers when i met my soulmate and she loves me for BEING MYSELF becos she can trust me, having had a shit marraige before. We laugh all the time, we buy for each other and love each other to bits. As ive said b4, be yourself, honesty is always best to start with, but dont be afraid, enjoy being interesting!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crotchboots-m Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 my wife doesnt like me wearing either...she sort of views it as "another woman". so i dont push it or let it interfere with our relationship if i can help. altho,there are sometimes when certain packages show up in the mail,etc. that cause a certain amount of hysteria and marital strain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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