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Chaosheels

My wife and my heels

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Indeed. Sounds like a nice routine - and one I recognise. My wife and I like to do Friday lunches. 

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9 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

While what Chorlini said initially made my eyebrow go up I realize there's a certain amount of truth to it. I believe women everywhere want to feel comfortable with whichever man is at their side. Certainly women committed to a meaningful marriage want to. I also recognize there are those who actually view men as an accessory and those unions are destined for divorce. Good marriages and great relationships are those which put shared values of faith, loyalty, and effective communication above everything else. I believe that's the point p1ng74 is making. He likes his fashion sense but likes his marital sense even more. HinH

It doesn’t have to be a choice of one over the other, as we can see by examples of people here who have mutual understandings with their spouse on heels.  I think it takes time, effort, and creativity like everything else in a marriage.  

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We ended up going to the Chinese buffet my wife enjoys. Good meal and I learned some new words, Happy New Year, in Chinese. That makes about 50 words I know now. Just scratching the surface and behind Arabic where I know about 100 words or so mostly learned in either Lebanon or Morocco. Maybe one day I'll become functional in those two as well! 

Time, effort, and creativity are three things I usually have in abundance when it's something I'm inspired to do. HinH

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Sounds like a lovely evening. My wife and I favour an old pub near us for our Friday lunches, although sometimes a funky little deli down in the old quarter of our seaside town - all good grist for the relationship mill.  

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14 hours ago, Shyheels said:

It is much the same with men and their trophy wives. Equality! None of these shallow kinds of relationship ever really work. 

 

15 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

While what Chorlini said initially made my eyebrow go up I realize there's a certain amount of truth to it. I believe women everywhere want to feel comfortable with whichever man is at their side. Certainly women committed to a meaningful marriage want to. I also recognize there are those who actually view men as an accessory and those unions are destined for divorce. Good marriages and great relationships are those which put shared values of faith, loyalty, and effective communication above everything else. I believe that's the point p1ng74 is making. He likes his fashion sense but likes his marital sense even more. HinH

I agree withy you both here - same thoughts went through my mind when I was reading this as well.

 

17 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

I agree with the spirit of this statement too actually, and I don’t think it means that men are relegated to decorative roles next to our wives.  

We talk a lot in fashion about a “matching outfit” that pairs articles going together.  If you spend time watching people, you start to also see patterns of couples that “match” each other in the way they look and act, and based on the matching attributes you can tell that have been together or married a long time.  As with fashion, women tend to have a keener eye for this, but it can be learned.  This is how people who work high end retail and sales develop intuitions on whether two people are “together” when they are browsing a store.  

It is natural for married people to want to appear to be “together” when they are out and about, and over time our wardrobe and overall look gravitates towards habits that result in my wife and I “matching” each other.  The details happen unconsciously, as overthinking it usually yields awkward results.  When we go out, I look like my wife’s husband, and she looks like my wife, and it all happens without much thinking.  

This context is significant because for me, wearing heels can be a huge disruption of this.  My wife never wears heels.  I looked through her shoes once and only found one pair over 1”.  She also rarely wears skirts and dresses.  In our 11 years of marriage this continues to work because it “matches” us as a couple.  It is going to take time before it would ever make sense for me to wear 4” heels when we go out together.  Currently, they would clash with the loafers that she usually wears.  

Based on inspiration here at HHP, I have discovered that it is relatively easy for a man to add heels into fashion in a way that evolves whatever they already have going on.  Since I do a bit of traveling and working alone, it’s a fun way to break up monotony and push creativity.  But I also realize I have to be realistic when it comes to relationships.  Accepting an individual fashion style is a much smaller task than evolving two people’s wardrobe and habits as a single unit.  Communication and creativity will prevail, and we’ll work something out.  

On this though, I couldn't really identify - while I have items that  I like seeing my wife in, and the reverse, I don't think we look "attached" (or "matching"?) just based on our mode of dress (obviously you can tell an attached couple based on body language and physical closeness, but I don't think that's what we were talking about above).  Agreed as well, with @p1ng74 that wearing heels in public may disrupt comfort of the other spouse (lets be specific - the wife!)  and as said - its not black or white (this is something that has become clear to me/us after a few months of marriage counseling... ) that there are many shades of grey, that can be used as a good compromise that both sides can feels comfortable with. 

 

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Well I just learned something here. I've never seen a quote change colour before. Maybe you typed it in word and pasted it here? I do like it just haven't seen it before. HinH

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1 minute ago, HappyinHeels said:

Well I just learned something here. I've never seen a quote change colour before. Maybe you typed it in word and pasted it here? I do like it just haven't seen it before. HinH

yup, first time for me too - was looking for a highlight color, but found that option. its in the editor tool bar above each message field. 

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