When to shut it on and off?

[hiheellover23]

So yesterday I had the best day ever.  I had the day off from work and my wife suggested that I have a heel outing in which I did.  I had my 7.5 inch, purple platform boots on with a pair of denim bellbottoms or flares, with a purple shirt  that said "You Only Live Once" with a derby like hat I think the outfit went pretty well the photo is posted in my gallery.  

 

But at any rate I decided to take my attire out to the mall to pick up a video game.  At first I was reluctant because i kept thinking who was going to see and just assuming any negative thing possible would happen.  But then I took a deep breath and put my head phones and had got to walking looked forward until I got to my destination.  Bought my game and wandered around the store without a care in the world.  I rode up the escalator  back up to the food court and strolled back to my car.  Next I drove to the park downtown to go take some pictures.  I was a little reluctant then because there were a few families out there with kids around.  And i did not want people to assume the worst of me.  Plus there were people out fishing.  So I took another deep breath and kept inching to some areas I thought I could get some pictures.  As time went on I was getting more and more comfortable and took pictures at other areas in the park.  I never felt so much more alive and free.  I mean I'm feeling like on cloud nine but then I'm off that high because my son is here and I have to bottle that feeling all up  I can't share that with anyone.  I just hate feeling alone and feeling like I have to start over after feeling like I just leaped over bounds and there is no telling when I will be able to do that again.  How do you shut those emotions on and off.  I just feel so confined right now.  How do you all deal with it?

Edited May 14, 2016 by hiheellover23
Wanted to add photos

[Jkrenzer]

Honesty you don't. Your emotions are what you are and they can't be turned off. It's probably what makes the highs so high since you can only get there on occasion. 

Anyway good outing, I'm not a platform guy but they really work well for you. 

[CAT]

5 hours ago, hiheellover23 said:

So yesterday I had the best day ever.  I had the day off from work and my wife suggested that I have a heel outing in which I did.  I had my 7.5 inch, purple platform boots on with a pair of denim bellbottoms or flares, with a purple shirt  that said "You Only Live Once" with a derby like hat I think the outfit went pretty well the photo is posted in my gallery.  

 

But at any rate I decided to take my attire out to the mall to pick up a video game.  At first I was reluctant because i kept thinking who was going to see and just assuming any negative thing possible would happen.  But then I took a deep breath and put my head phones and had got to walking looked forward until I got to my destination.  Bought my game and wandered around the store without a care in the world.  I rode up the escalator  back up to the food court and strolled back to my car.  Next I drove to the park downtown to go take some pictures.  I was a little reluctant then because there were a few families out there with kids around.  And i did not want people to assume the worst of me.  Plus there were people out fishing.  So I took another deep breath and kept inching to some areas I thought I could get some pictures.  As time went on I was getting more and more comfortable and took pictures at other areas in the park.  I never felt so much more alive and free.  I mean I'm feeling like on cloud nine but then I'm off that high because my son is here and I have to bottle that feeling all up  I can't share that with anyone.  I just hate feeling alone and feeling like I have to start over after feeling like I just leaped over bounds and there is no telling when I will be able to do that again.  How do you shut those emotions on and off.  I just feel so confined right now.  How do you all deal with it?

I know exactly what you are talking about.  There is a definite cloud 9 feeling.   Especially in my last outing siting in Starbucks and the constant flow of people in and out looking at me watching me.  Then to a grocery store and asking people in the store where I could find some items.

  I could not agree with you more!!!

and those boots are awesome !!!!!!

[Steve63130]

I'm not a platform guy either, at least not that pronounced of a platform, but you look great in plats. The problem, as I see it, is that you are not willing to admit to yourself that this is who you are, and having the freedom, even for a short time, to wear what you want in public gives you tremendous euphoria. When the time comes when you can say, oh stuff it, this is who I really am and if people don't love me because of what I wear, then they're pretty shallow. I know it's not always possible with loved ones to reach that level, but I think maybe you should try to sit down with them and have a heart-to-heart talk and say this is what I love to wear and I'm tired of bottling it up inside me and pretending I can be happy wearing boring shoes. I can't.

I think the demons are mostly in your head. The people in your life love you and will love you no matter what you wear.

Steve

 

[hiheellover23]

Thanks man I appreciate it just trying to follow your example!!!!!  In which you do it well!!!  In your escapades  you do it more frequently how do you gather yourself to do what you do.  Also when you have family how do you put that persona on the shelf for the time being because for me I want to keep the momentum going because long breaks away and the courage starts going away and then ya freeze panic and start worrying about what everyone else is thinking and it sucks feeling like that!  What do you do?

[hiheellover23]

Mr. Steve thanks that's pretty solid advice.  Thank you and i appreciate the compliments from those that are not platform fans  it really means a lot thank you!  Glad I could make you change your mind about them just a little bit ;D

[Steve63130]

Good question. I don't turn it on and off like you do. I am in heels almost all the time. I have higher, more feminine styles and lower, more masculine styles. When I want to be casual in jeans and more femme heels, I do it. When I need to be dressed up and formal, like for a funeral or an evening out, I wear the latter. So I vary the shoes I wear to fit the occasion. But I don't go from pretending I love men's shoes (turning it off or putting my real self on the shelf, so to speak) to turning it on when I can. I love heels, they're part of my personality, and while I try to respect the feelings of others, I don't hide my own desires to dress as I want and to wear the shoes I like. I don't worry about what others think and don't dwell on it like you seem to do. Maybe it's because I'm older (67) and don't care as much any more. While I don't have a boss at work (I'm self employed) or a dress code I need to conform to, I do have an "owner" and she matters. But she knows I love her and she's number one in my life. And she's been with me often enough when I wear heels to know that nobody says anything negative, if they even notice.

Steve

[hiheellover23]

Part of it is just the extracurricular activities that I do  from doing MMA (mixed martial arts) to my family like brother, mom and dad.  I'm just in fear that it will jeopardize relationships with friends and family but I know that my love for heels will never go away.  I've tossed them before and months later I bought more.  But it just gets to a point that I'm tired of hiding my shoes.  I have a large amount of shoes that I'm hardly wearing and I'm just ready to let loose.  I just want just want to stop feeling so restrained  ya know?

[robbiehhw]

Nice heels! I think you are who you are and while you definitely need to be respectful of others, the way that society changes is that you change it. Early adopters pay a higher price, they always have. Can you imagine the double standards that exist that would even hint that a relationship would be hurt over your choice of footwear? When you think of it, it seems crazy but that is what society has done to gender, it's dominated and beat the stuffing out of it. Don't let it. 

When you say they might think the worst. What is the worst? Again when you think through it and get a little pissed off at our culture it helps

 

 

[mtnsofheels]

Hiheellover23, So good for you to go out and have some fun with those awesome boots, yes here is a cheers to your best day ever! Cheers Man!     To your questions,  how do you shut it off and carry forward? and How do you deal with it all? Those are tough questions for sure, personally I do not shut it off, it fuels me to do more and more knowing that is what i want to wear and be. For a time I too had to shut it off and I can tell I got depressed and not very social able because I could not get my shoe/boot fix. I just got tired of having to hide it and finally decided what if someone sees me in a pair shoe or boots, are they going to fire me? No, if I replied with "I like to wear these and so I am" what would they say? I want to ask you, what would your brother or mom or dad, what do you think they would say or do? Do you think they would berate you on the spot, humiliate you? I wonder what we worry about, I mean is it the fear we are and have been hiding something, that we have not been truthful to our closest family and friends? Picture this, I really pay attention when someone shows a gun or knife, I think we all do, but put in that situation we deal with it and hopefully walk away unscathed. But wearing a pair of shoes or boots do we really think we will garner that kind of attention? that we have a fight or flight reaction. I have been thinking a lot about this issue that we face as far as a perceived reaction we might get. You know women face that same issue on a daily basis, for what they wear, how wear it and how they come across to people they meet. You know what, they do not make eye contact they keep to themselves and go about their business, that is how we can learn from them, they just do what they want and wear what they want. I have seen so many women that wear really clothes and shoe/boots and they just do it. If you were ask woman for the time, she may comply and tell you , if a person being an A hole made sly and inappropriate comment they just keep going and walk away. Women have face the same kind of issues every day but that does not stop them from being who they are and what they wear. Of course there are places and circumstances you would not go dressed or wearing something that will bring unwanted attention but nor do women go there. So aside from that if you were compare these issues,  1) your family and friends found out you do heavy drugs? 2) your family and friends found out you own a hand gun and go a firing range? 3 your family and friends found out you are having an extramarital fling? 4) your family and friends found out that you like heels and are so happy wearing them? 5) your family and friends found out that you are a musician and have been doing a rock roll gig and your band wears high heeled boots and plays some kick ass good tunes? (like Prince)  6)  your family and friends found out a nasty bit of your history that was criminal and you hurt people?   Now out of all those issues, can we tell what people will say? I guess what I am getting at is if it makes you happy and you are not doing anything wrong, illegal, hurtful or nasty is it fair for us expect the same reaction just because we like to wear heels?  It is a funny dilemma we place up on ourselves. I have done similar worrisome thoughts for each of these, heeled shoes and boots, pantyhose, and skirts, in the end if we wear them in crowed places, where people are too preoccupied and afraid of saying anything we get no reaction and we can even get compliments by wearing them plus we have the best time ever by wearing whatever we want. We only have one chance at this life, we got to own up to ourselves and make the best ever life journey. So with that thought I just said screw it!  I am going to wear what I want! I live by a quote that has made all the difference for me, "I feel much better now that I have given up hope"  Rock on HiHeellover23 ! don't wait for permission to wear heels again just go do it and be happy!

 

[Gudulitooo]

On 19/5/2016 at 7:52 AM, mtnsofheels said:

You know women face that same issue on a daily basis, for what they wear, how wear it and how they come across to people they meet.

How true.

And many women finally decide to give up, because, I believe, we all have set our personal limits to how fabulous or superior to others we want to appear.

E.g in a workplace, most of us carefully chose a "fashion level" just below the nearest manager, ... but better than the colleague's one ! Same in familly or with friends, we intend to stay within the same "category".

G.

[hiheellover23]

Thanks guys you are definitely giving me my inspiration!!!!!

[JeffB]

Just to add my two cents worth, I don't think you should actively try to "shut off" your emotions when it comes to doing what you love. In my opinion, that would lead to frustration and disappointment when you find that you can't, in other words, just go with the flow. While I don't wear the sort of sky high platforms you do, I'm every bit as much "out there" because I wear skirts and dresses in public, yet, I never worry about how I'm perceived, I just go about life doing what I enjoy, that's all any of us can do. Take things one day at a time and you'll be fine.

[hiheellover23]

Thank you Jeff B for your statement I definitely applaud you of your fashion choices and disregard everyone else it is truly commended!!!