Gutted

[Cali]

This concept that if a male is wearing high heels then it is fetish or he "lost a bet" is something I have to confront daily.  Especially from women, and even more so if they can't wear heels, jealousy I think.

That's why my heels need to fit first, as a women told me years ago "Life is too short for heels that hurt." Then they need to look good. I hear "I love your heels" everyday. I want women to envy my shoes, so I wear a different pair of heels every day, I can go over 10 weeks before repeating. I know they envy the height.

But to me this is not a fetish...I HAVE TO wear heels or take pain killers, so I might as well have fun doing it, and do it with confidence.

Wearing high heels has changed my life.

 

[Shyheels]

Others wear heels to ease lower back complaints. And many wear them just because they happen to like a particular style.  I happen like suede knee and otk boots - and although my suede boots are essentially flat (standard 1-inch heels)  they still fall outside the norm for male footwear. But I like them for aesthetic/fashion reasons not because of any fetish.

[Cali]

Before I started wearing 4 inch + heels, I had already started buying only women's shoes for fit. So I was already wearing booties with 1- 2 inch heels because I liked them, i.e. fashion, and the heel accommodated my arch and gave me more balance.

[Shyheels]

13 minutes ago, Cali said:

Before I started wearing 4 inch + heels, I had already started buying only women's shoes for fit. So I was already wearing booties with 1- 2 inch heels because I liked them, i.e. fashion, and the heel accommodated my arch and gave me more balance.

Totally sensible. I have very narrow feet myself and, in theory, a boot based on a woman's last would fit me better than one designed for typical men - but typical women, or for that matter typical men, do not have long skinny feet in US men's size 13-14. I do.  

[Cali]

I consider myself to be very lucky with US women's size 10 feet.  You would how many women with big feet want to know where I get my shoes. They're so disappointed when I tell I'm size 10.

[caultron]

"Fetish," is a highly-charged word that simply means something you like, despite the fact that it may be somewhat unusual.

[Shyheels]

2 hours ago, caultron said:

"Fetish," is a highly-charged word that simply means something you like, despite the fact that it may be somewhat unusual.

Highly charged, yes, but fetish does not mean simply something you like. Not at all. One might like cheeseburgers or have blue as your favourite colour or like baseball or cricket or any number of things, but that does not make them fetishes.

A fetish is an object around which sexual desire or gratification is linked, often to an an obsessive or compulsive degree.  

The alternative and more traditional definition of a 'fetish' is a particular object or talisman that is worshipped for its supposed magical or spiritual powers.

 

Edited September 25, 2017 by Shyheels

[Rhys]

I found myself looking at women in heels from a young age, what women doesn’t look good in a pair of stilletos? It started off as a fetish because I didn’t really know and thought it was wrong for a man to wear heels but since joining this forum it’s opened my eyes up and realised that it’s fine. I admire all type of heels, small or big. I’d wear heels everyday if I could just because they look amazing. 

I’ve recently told my partner about my heel addiction and how far it’s gone and somehow she’s fine with it, she was abit freaked out that I hid it from here but then I explained and everything was ok. We keep it very strict as we do live next door to my in laws and we do have kids so it’s just strictly at night. I’m totally fine with that. 

I told my partner and we have a house,two kids and a cat! I could’ve lost everything, but I gambled and it worked. Life is a whole gamble. What if I done that, what if I done this. Just do what you feels best. 

[caultron]

11 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Highly charged, yes, but fetish does not mean simply something you like. Not at all. One might like cheeseburgers or have blue as your favourite colour or like baseball or cricket or any number of things, but that does not make them fetishes.

A fetish is an object around which sexual desire or gratification is linked, often to an an obsessive or compulsive degree.  

The alternative and more traditional definition of a 'fetish' is a particular object or talisman that is worshipped for its supposed magical or spiritual powers.

 

So, when would wearing heels be a fetish and when not? Depending on whether you get sexual arousal or not? Whether it's obsessive or not? What's obsessive? Like, is it so many hours a day, or so many days a week?

I think a lot of times, we're more afraid of what other people might call a fetish than we are of ourselves.

And if it is a fetish, is that necessarily bad or just something we enjoy?

[Shyheels]

I was not attaching any value judgements, just pointing out the definition of what a fetish is - and it isn’t just something you happen to like.

[CAT]

My Ex thinks it's all fetish,  I will tell you it is about wearing a fab pair of heels out with a great outfit.  It does enter the bedroom once in a while but usually on her but she is okay with heels on me.  

[Shyheels]

A lot of people do think that an interest in wearing heels or boots must be founded in some sort of fetish. It is the same sort of thinking that underlies the assumption that anyone (any guy)who wears  heels or tall boots must be gay. It just ain’t so, in either case.

[pebblesf]

On ‎2‎/‎1‎/‎2015 at 10:41 AM, Steve63130 said:

If you want your marriage to work out well, then honesty is the ONLY policy. You can't hide stuff from each other. Secrets don't strengthen a marriage, they weaken it. Before you jettison your shoe collection, share your secret with her. You could be right that she'll be turned off by your habit, in which case you can ditch the shoes or put them away for a long time. If she truly loves you, she won't be bothered by what she can't see. But you might be wrong. Some gals are intrigued or even excited about heels, including their man in heels. Don't assume anything. Share your secret. And ask her about her secrets. She has some, I can guarantee it. Find them out. One reason this is very important, besides bringing you closer together, is that you can't hide stuff forever. You'll worry about your stash getting found. And sooner or later it will happen. And when you backpeddle and try to explain it to her, she'll wonder what ELSE you've been hiding from her. The relationship goes downhill from there. So it's important for both of you to share all your warts and imperfections and habits and turn-ons and turn-offs at the very beginning as you are getting serious. Neither of you should be buying a lemon! Be totally honest.

 

Good luck.

 

Steve

Well said Steve. 

Unfortunately, I am living proof that trying to ditch my boots and ignore my desire to wear them, will never work out, for either of you....Please don't make the same mistakes I have, you should tell her. 

[maninboots]

I'm lucky enough to be a uk women's size 5, I find it much easier to buy typically women's shoes and boots than men's, they look natural on my feet so wear them all the time, no fetish involved, just simply a case of wearing what fits well and looks good