roniheels Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 For all of you guys who wear high heels and your wives, girlfriends, or significant others know about your enjoyment of high heels and the fact that you do wear high heels, do they treat you any differently when you are wearing high heels? I'll start this off by explaining my own personal situation. My female friend that I am seeing on a regular basis not only knows that I wear high heels and wear them in public, she has sold me some of the high heels that I own (she owns an exotic boutique) and we have been out together while I was wearing high heels. When we have been out together and I wasn't wearing high heels, we act and get along like a "typical couple," if you will. Conversation is typical and ackwnowledgement to each other is normal or typical. The other day, I went to her store to visit with her and see what she was doing this weekend. On a whim I put on a pair of women's slim-leg jeans that I bought at a thrift shop, an over-sized sweater also purchased at a thrift shop, and my black leather thigh boots with 5" stiletto high heels that I wore over my jeans. I went into her store (no one else was there) and greeted her. She had a big smile on her face as she stepped back and took a look at me. The she went on and on about my outfit but especially how good it looked with my high heeled boots. As I sat down on one of her stools in her store, she kept commenting on my boots (that, by the way, she sold to me) and how good I looked in them. I asked her if she wanted me to get her something to eat. She said, "...are you going to the store like that? I wish I could leave and go with you because I love the looks and comments you get when you are seen in high heels." She gave me a hug and I went to bring us back something to eat. It then really hit me that whenever I am wearing high heels with her, she treats me differently, like she was talking to her sister or one of her girlfriends. She gets almost flirty and silly with me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy this treatment and her reaction. But it is definitely different when I am with her and not wearing high heels. I just wondered if any of you other guys get a different reaction from the females in your life when they see you wearing high heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stev55 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Ron, hi from philly great story, Thank You Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2please Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 That's really fascinating! I wonder how many women would have that fun reaction? How do we spot women that will be so supportive? Sounds like great fun, and I hope you get to enjoy it often. My wife is supportive and open minded, but also a bit skeptical and "non-encouraging" in some ways. I think she thinks it's fine, but let's not get carried away. (I'm guessing what she's thinking at this point). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhboots Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Similar to b2please, my wife is supportive, but at the same time, I think she would really rather that I didn't have this part of my life. I think she is sometimes uncomfortable the whole concept, and with some of the baggage that goes with it, but she is so understanding and we do have fun together with it. I just know I have to not get carried away with it and know that there are only certain times and places I should bring my heels to go out with her. Roniheels, I think you have a really fantastic gal there to really get into it with you like that, I mean it doesn't get too much better than that for guys like us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dblair Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Interesting post, but I have to say that I don't sense any difference in treatment from my girlfriend...heels or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geo Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 my wife is not supportive anymore and I had to get rid of my collection. But I have a few pairs hidden for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikekicks Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 For myself, after tonight, no difference at all. My friend was the same as she always has been. Sure, some banter was about, but it was the same as it ever was. REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShoeDre Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Interesting post. My wife doesn't act differently towards me in any way. I have noticed that she has commented on shoes that she has suggested I buy. I think that it's more of a comment to herself, on how good she is at picking out nice shoes. Could your female friend's comments be the same in this regard. After discussing this with my wife, she has suggested another interesting perspective. Perhaps someone that likes the shoes she sells, likes seeing them worn by her customers. Is she treating you like her other (mainly women) customers? Hopefully these ideas help. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 roniheels, Cool story there roni but then again your girlfriend thinks you are very cool in your high heels...and so do we!! HappyinHeels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loswabs Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 my wife is not supportive anymore and I had to get rid of my collection. But I have a few pairs hidden for now. That's such a shame and I feel for you geo. Good luck to you, I hope you can still enjoy your heels went you want It's my opinion, no more, no less Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhboots Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 my wife is not supportive anymore and I had to get rid of my collection. But I have a few pairs hidden for now. That sucks, sorry to hear that Geo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 After discussing this with my wife, she has suggested another interesting perspective. Perhaps someone that likes the shoes she sells, likes seeing them worn by her customers. Is she treating you like her other (mainly women) customers? Hopefully these ideas help. Thank you for your response and comments, especially those from your wife. My female friend does sell high heels mostly to women; exotic dancers and to younger women around Halloween and prom time. She does sell to some men, but most of her customers are women. When I have bought a pair of high heels elsewhere and showed them to her while I was wearing them, she almost gets analytical about the shoes, but she always compliments me and how good they look on me. For someone who hardly ever wears high heels, she knows so much about all of the shoes she sells and high heels in general. That is the sign of a good sales person and your wife maybe at least partially correct in her perspective. Thanks again for your comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 My experience with sales female associates in general, and not just those at the Bakers shoe stores I have shopped the most, has been one where once you show that you have an eye for fashion in general they really warm up to you and will talk to you very much like they would talk to another woman. This doesn't imply they think that you want to become one just that they see their comfort level rising as the normal barriers associated with talking with a man start disappearing. Like I've said before if you complement a sales girl on a type of shoe she is wearing or compliment another customer who is trying out a shoe then this all breaks the ice and you, the male shopper, are brought right into the fold and all will have the enjoyed the experience that much more. If you were wear something you had previously bought in the store then you are bound to be treated royally. Engage the world and it will engage you in return!! HappyinHeels :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I woke up this morning, showered, got dressed and went out to my workshop to work on one of my RC helicopters. I have 3" heeled Harley Davidson boots in women's size 11. My wife called me on the intercom to tell me that the house felt chilly. I hadn't noticed. The furnace had shut off and she said she needed my strong arms to force the furnace door off so that the furnace could be reset. I'm clearly still the man of the house for a couple of reasons here. lol Geo: That does suck. I'm sorry to hear this as well. Charlie Everything I say is a lie!.......I'm lying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhboots Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Using a quote from Amanda Snake (hopefully she doesn't mind me quoting her): "I wouldn't date a man who wears heels. Not only do men look silly wearing heels but we/I would be stigmatized for it. I like men who who are gallant and dashing.....not tottering and vulnerable." (http://www.hhplace.org/girls/6167-would_you_date_man_who_wears_heels-3.html#post272584) I really appreciate Amanda's honesty, I can understand her feelings there and I am sure there are a lot of women that feel the same way. I know my wife loves me and is very understanding of my way of life, although I mentioned in an earlier post that I get the sense she is not always fully comfortable with this at all times. I do make a significant effort to ensure I don't look like a complete ass when I heel with my wife and I want to come across looking as natural and comfortable doing it as possible. I try hard to I put her feelings first and if there is ever a time that I feel she is embarrassed while she is with me, I would seriously reconsider doing it in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleekHeels Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 The question "are you treated any differently?" makes me also wonder: "Do you want to be treated differently?". Sure on the one hand we want to just be accepted and be treated no differently at all... but if wearing heels is an expression of how we feel inside, don't we want that to be recognised and acknowledged, and in that repsect being treated differently is part of the acceptance? If you like it, wear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CPB Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 My wife sometimes jokingly refers to me in the feminine, but otherwise she treats me the same as when I'm not wearing my heels. The one change that I have noticed is that she seems to have a better appreciation for high heels, the different styles, colour, etc. She doesn't wear high heels herself - finds them unconfortable. She's also not mad about me wearing heels, but as long as it stays at home she doesn't mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jay jay Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 my wife is not supportive anymore and I had to get rid of my collection. But I have a few pairs hidden for now. So sorry to hear that Geo, did something happen. How did you get rid of you collection? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris100575 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 No. She treats me the same no matter what I have on my feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 The question "are you treated any differently?" makes me also wonder: "Do you want to be treated differently?". Sure on the one hand we want to just be accepted and be treated no differently at all... but if wearing heels is an expression of how we feel inside, don't we want that to be recognised and acknowledged, and in that repsect being treated differently is part of the acceptance? You are correct. I do enjoy the reactions I get from my female friend when she sees me wearing high heels. But, at least in my mind, she does act differently with me when wearing and not wearing high heels. Maybe treated differently might have been the wrong way to ask this. But at least in my case, I do notice a differnece in her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarod81 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Unfortunately I'm in the same boat as Geo here. Partner hates, finds it disgusting and unattractive which really does get me down. I work in a job where I see the horries of life and how truly life is a gift and just want to live and enjoy as much as i can and this happens to be one of them, high heels with the other being I like some womens clothing as I like it and it fits better. But in short yes I get rated differently by my partner however my family also know and I don't get treated differntly. When I go shopping for clothes or shoes I kind of do get treated differently but in a positive way and to be honest I like it as its nice to feel that your not different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleekHeels Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 You are correct. I do enjoy the reactions I get from my female friend when she sees me wearing high heels. But, at least in my mind, she does act differently with me when wearing and not wearing high heels. Maybe treated differently might have been the wrong way to ask this. But at least in my case, I do notice a differnece in her. I like your question a lot... it makes us think about positive and negative aspects of being treated differently, and the reactions we'd like compared to the reactions we get. I know my wife loves me and is very understanding of my way of life, although I mentioned in an earlier post that I get the sense she is not always fully comfortable with this at all times. I do make a significant effort to ensure I don't look like a complete ass when I heel with my wife and I want to come across looking as natural and comfortable doing it as possible. I try hard to I put her feelings first and if there is ever a time that I feel she is embarrassed while she is with me, I would seriously reconsider doing it in the future. That's so important. Sometimes we can be so self-absorbed in our heeling (and get so used to feeling isolated by the negative reactions to it) that we forget to actually be sensitive to the needs of our loved ones. If we're so caught up thinking we're breaking barriers down when we're actually putting barriers up withour realising it, maybe that could be a part of why we're treated differently. If you like it, wear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crotchboots-m Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 gallant and dashing?...sounds like a fairy tale doesnt it...at least to me. to each his own and be true to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Good question! I only notice if they treat me differently based on what I want from the interaction: 1. For those who I want a platonic friendship with--I want authentic and genuine connection. If they fear the imagined stigma from others more than they experience/desire a bona fide authentic friendship with me, then it's a problem. If their fear is greater than their desire over time, then we are done. Ultimately, they are not my real friend. To whatever extent I notice their fears of rejection from others outweighing the truths and character of our friendship, they cannot be my friend. I might give it my best "sales pitch" over time, but otherwise we would be just two ships passing in the night. Needless to say, none of my platonic female friends treat me differently in a way that the difference would matter to me. Any other way is in my opinion, irrelevant and data I don't need to waste my energy and time interpreting. 2. For females that I want to be sexual with--As long as I can still get them attracted to me, it doesn't matter otherwise if they treat me differently, since the goal of the interaction is different. Whether I'm in heels or flats and in public in front of others, I don't notice if they treat me differently unless it affects our chemistry/attraction to each other. Just tonight I went on a date with a girl and wore jeans tucked into 4" think heeled knee high boots. She didn't treat me any differently than they time when I was wearing Converse. If I can't eventually get the sparks flying when I'm in heels (and the girl considers it a deal breaker), then the flats become irrelevant because I want chemistry for being a "whole entire package" (pun not intended, ha)--heels or no heels. Naturally, I recognize limitations here, so if there was a super awesome girl who otherwise was perfect, I'd seek some negotiated agreement. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts