Hospitalized because of heels!

[CamoHeels]

When i was at school about 10 weeks ago my mother was snooping through my room and she found my stash of heels! I have about 20 pairs of 7in heels and 10 pairs of 6in and less. She came to my school with my 1 pair of 8 1/2 heels and showed the councelors what i was wearing and needless to say when i was called in i was wearing my 4in army boots. Odd that the school never noticed them! So immidetly i was taken to Kingwood health center and i spent a month and a half there but i had all my clothes and all my heels there with me, my mom couldnt stand the sight of them and i have a lot of 10in miniskirts, short dresses, chaps, low rider pants and stuff like that (besides camo). In the end it was cool though because i got to wear heels the whole time! Everyone else there was on drugs or whore's and people like that, when they despised me for wearing heels and skimpy clothes at least i knew i wasnt a whore or on drugs. I thought i might just share that with yall.

[Arctic]

I got to say that this probably could only have happened in Texas . No offence intended, tho'. My wife also thinks it's a disease that'll blow over, but she at least has never recommended me seeking medical treatment. But then, I go no higher than 4 1/2" So, which rehab program did they put you through? Methadon cure?

[CamoHeels]

It doesnt come close to tunnel vision, it is! But as u said about methadon treatment, no, i wouldnt be suprised though. Im actully from california... adopted, so i dont really understand texas. but as for my treatment, i was with all the pot and crack heads! Is it just me or do heels and smoking go together? lol

[hoverfly]

Hehe.. your poor mother!! What I would give to see her expression when she descovered your stash. But I don't think you have been sent the health center.

[CamoHeels]

You want the pic, i have a walkin closet and a security camera in the wall, it got some 6 second still shots of her!

[hoverfly]

Sure why not. Why not post them for all to see?

[CamoHeels]

alright, im going to go with one of my friends to the mall, he knows about my heel fetish and im wearing my 7in 4in plat camo knee highs! first time out in them, i gotta convert the pics from my camera to the computer, so itll be a few hours after i get home

[Arctic]

It doesnt come close to tunnel vision, it is! But as u said about methadon treatment, no, i wouldnt be suprised though. Im actully from california... adopted, so i dont really understand texas.

Ah... But you have Kingwood, TX under your name, so I assumed from there that you were living in the lone star state.

B

[micha]

So immidetly i was taken to Kingwood health center and i spent a month and a half there but i had all my clothes and all my heels there with me, my mom couldnt stand the sight of them and i have a lot of 10in miniskirts, short dresses, chaps, low rider pants and stuff like that (besides camo).

Poor America! This country was still some decades ago for us Germans a synonym for liberty and freedom. A shining example of democracy. Your episode is absolutely unimaginable in every middle european country. But stop, that's not the whole truth: Under the Nazi psychiatry you had to expect similar or even worse experiences. But comparing my country under the dictatorship of Adolf Hitler with the United States today ?

Something must have gone wrong with America I'm glad to live in Germany!

micha

[texasbumpkin]

The way that I look at the world is that if everyone was the same, dressed the same, looked the same, would that not be a boring place. I know what you mean about Texas......been there, done that. You should not have been hospitalized though.

[Bubba136]

I wonder why your mother was so upset? Unless you are a boy. Then I could see why.

[Texboots]

Hey there! What's all this Texas bashing? No one gets "sentenced" to a hospital for wearing platform shoes! We are talking about Kingswood, after all, one of the wealthiest communites around Houston. And we're talking about a private psychiatric clinic for behaviorial and addicitive problems...not some federal prison or state run school for reformed high heel wearers. So I suspect that there's more to this story than is being told, and it isn't about what camo boots are being worn in Texas!

[mk4625]

So I suspect that there's more to this story than is being told, and it isn't about what camo boots are being worn in Texas!

Yes, there is something I don't quite understand. The boots alone might get you sent home with a note or possibly suspended, but nothing more than that.

[Rockpup]

The story seems to lean a bit on the unrealistic side.. Although this may just be me.. since I had dificulty getting my own heels prior to age 16 without my mom finding them.. let alone 30+ pairs of 6"+.. Also.. having really seen a couple diferent mental health people due to my mom's concern over my odd interests, bringing -anything- related to the mom's concern would be the absolut last thing I'd have had access to. If the story doesnt make sense, consider the age of 15 years old.. Sorry to rain on your parade. Jim

[Bubba136]

Yeah, but its a story. Let him/her tell it. Perhaps things will get clearer as details emerge. Besides, we don't have to believe it. It does stiumlate one's imagination.

[Arctic]

Hey there! What's all this Texas bashing? No one gets "sentenced" to a hospital for wearing platform shoes! We are talking about Kingswood, after all, one of the wealthiest communites around Houston. And we're talking about a private psychiatric clinic for behaviorial and addicitive problems...not some federal prison or state run school for reformed high heel wearers. So I suspect that there's more to this story than is being told, and it isn't about what camo boots are being worn in Texas!

Probably you're right... Sometimes people let themselves go a little.

[Rockpup]

Bubba: True.. unfortunatly my story isnt exciting and entertaining.. mine includeds being tested for chemical imbalances, being put on psyciatric drugs in an attempt to make me normal, which did -not- work and only caused rift that exists between myself and my mom to this day. Jim

[PJ]

CamoHeels; For many years (before the internet), I thought I was the only male in the whole world who enjoyed wearing female high heel pumps. As a result, I had this feeling that their was something mentally wrong with me. But since I was enjoying this and not hurting anyone, I did not request any kind of treatment. I believe that had my parents found out my secret, they would have thought there was something mentally wrong with me. I'm sure they would have sought some kind of psychiatric help. And that could have varied from simple office visits to a temporary stay at a mental institution for evaluation. Your mother was probably in shock after finding your clothing and shoe collection. Possibly she did not know of any other way of handling this. Or maybe hospitalization was recommended to her by someone else. I believe that most people assume that if you act differently than the society norm, then you must have a mental problem. Whereas open-minded people like us believe that there is no harm in having some peculiar interests just as long as it's consentual and does not hurt anyone. Thanks to the internet, I have learned just how widespread my secret is. I no longer think I have a mental problem. It's just a simple fetish. And although others may think I have a mental problem, I won't let it bring me down. I'm not hurting anyone and I'm enjoying this. So, although I may not agree with what your mother did, I can understand why she did it. You may have some difficult times as long as you live under her roof. But once you are out on your own, there is little she will be able to do.

[Firefox]

It just shows how ignorance breeds fear and illogical reaction. Who would attempt to cure a tomboy in hospital because she was climbing trees or playing with soldiers? The mother is the one who needs education.

[CamoHeels]

There actully was somewon who reccomended the hospital, my councelor. The only reason they didnt know is because of my pants, they cover the whole shoe... they are plugg brand, quite baggy. My mom also is going through menopause.

[Firefox]

Oh well, the counsellor needs education too. Some of those people are useless.

[micha]

Sometime ago I found by accident the home page of an American high school. Reading the section about the dress code I flipped out :x

I sent them an Email :argue: But I never received an answer.

Here a collection of other American school URL's

http://www.standrewsschool.com/dress_code.htm

http://www.bganet.com/lower/LowerSchoolDressCode.htm

http://www.woodlandchristian.org/emdresscode.htm

http://www.harvey152.org/district.htm

... to be continued ad infinitum!

Boys are not allowed (the instructions for the girls aren't better):

- to wear jeans (!!!)

- to wear earrings

- to wear coloured hair

- to wear sleeveless shirts

... to be continued ad infinitum!

Not only in Texas. Everywhere! Is this "normal" in the United States?

High heels wearing boys are not mentioned. But only because THIS is evidently far beyond the imagination of the principals.

I would like to know what the American guys are thinking about such restrictive dress codes. In EVERY German school this would result definitely in a pupil's revolt.

There must be something wrong with America

micha

[BobHH]

There was a trend not too long ago towards dress codes and even uniforms to combat gang and clique dressing. The theory was that having kids dress uniformly would remove a source of friction between the "ins" and "outs," or the rich and the poor. I think this is losing favor, now.

[Shoeiee]

Micha, When I read your post I checked out some of the links you posted. I can see why you may have been stunned but...Three of the four links you posted were from religiously based, conservative, private schools while one was of a public school system. Here in the US, private schools are typically very expensive and exculsive. They almost always have an established dress code and will happily expel or refuse entry to any student or parent who refuses to abide by their code. They have that right as they're privately owned with no funding from the government. They can set their standards and require their attendees to abide by them. This is because they provide a much better overall education than the public schools can usually provide. Much of their ability is based upon the fact that since the parents are shelling out so much money for their kids' schooling, they have a tendancy to be more involved and interested in seeing a quality return for their investment. This brings greater involvement from the parents. The public school system is a different sroty. They are very limited in what they can force upon their students as all children have the right to an education. They also have to be careful to match their requirements to the will of the parents to ensure they get the tax $$$ from the parents maintaining residence in their district. Hence, their codes are usually less restrictive and more weakly enforced. The elementary and middle schools we're zoned for have dress codes but that's on a school by school basis. Our entire city doesn't have a mandatory dress code. The code is rather liberal as it only mandates a specific color for tops, pants/skirts and shoes. It also specifies no bearing of the midriff for the K-8 crowd. But that's really about it. As for high schools, no public school principle in this area is crazy enough to try that one...There would be a riot!! As for the parents in the public school system, there are many of them who feel that the school system is OBLIGATED to teach their kids everything about everything. They have very little involvement in pushing their children to excel and nearly no involvement in the school system. It's sad, but many of them (parents...) behave as if children are more of a bother than a blessing. This has been brewing for years and can be clearly demonstrated by looking at Parent Teacher Association enrollment numbers. A typical middle school, in a low to moderate income neighborhood, has a hard time getting parents to come to an open house, band concert or any of a number of school functions. It's the schools in more affluent areas that parental involvement increases exponentially. And as parental involvement increases, disciplinary problems typically decrease and the need for 'class desegragation' based upon clothing is minimal. Another factor is gang involvement. What color clothing a child wears can specify which gang they're involved with. And yes, in some areas this is even a problem at the Elementary school level. :-( All in all, IHMO, uniforms are a good thing in schools. It keeps kids minds more focused on learning and less interested in 'Johnny's wearing xxxx!! Did you see him??' There needs to be standards but they also must allow the children to express their individuality as they grow. These guidelines should include things like dress/skirt length for girls (minimize the boy's distractions...) and basic colors for tops and bottoms but not much more. Too much control fosters inability to express individuality and low self-esteem. It also hampers development of imagination and ability to make educated decisions. All of which are necessary for a child to learn to accept their peers, superiors and subordinates with an open mind and respect for their individuality as well as the development of the courage to express themselves without fear of reprisal. That's my $.30. I hereby turn the soapbox to the next respondent. Happy Heeling!! Shoeiee

[hoverfly]

Where I live we have a high propety tax rate, and so we have an excelant school system. But you have to be making $40,000+ per each parent to live in a home around the Sea Coast. But if you are making less you eather live in a mobile home, or a very small apartment if you are making less than that, or you are a single parent . Parents are very involved with their childern in this school system. But he bottom line is you have to have to spend money to get a decent education no mater where you go in this country. cha ching....

[micha]

Micha,

When I read your post I checked out some of the links you posted. I can see why you may have been stunned but...Three of the four links you posted were from religiously based, conservative, private schools while one was of a public school system.

Here in the US, private schools are typically very expensive and exculsive. They almost always have an established dress code and will happily expel or refuse entry to any student or parent who refuses to abide by their code. They have that right as they're privately owned with no funding from the government. They can set their standards and require their attendees to abide by them. This is because they provide a much better overall education than the public schools can usually provide. Much of their ability is based upon the fact that since the parents are shelling out so much money for their kids' schooling, they have a tendancy to be more involved and interested in seeing a quality return for their investment. This brings greater involvement from the parents.

The public school system is a different sroty. They are very limited in what they can force upon their students as all children have the right to an education. They also have to be careful to match their requirements to the will of the parents to ensure they get the tax $$$ from the parents maintaining residence in their district. Hence, their codes are usually less restrictive and more weakly enforced. The elementary and middle schools we're zoned for have dress codes but that's on a school by school basis. Our entire city doesn't have a mandatory dress code. The code is rather liberal as it only mandates a specific color for tops, pants/skirts and shoes. It also specifies no bearing of the midriff for the K-8 crowd. But that's really about it. As for high schools, no public school principle in this area is crazy enough to try that one...There would be a riot!! As for the parents in the public school system, there are many of them who feel that the school system is OBLIGATED to teach their kids everything about everything. They have very little involvement in pushing their children to excel and nearly no involvement in the school system. It's sad, but many of them (parents...) behave as if children are more of a bother than a blessing. This has been brewing for years and can be clearly demonstrated by looking at Parent Teacher Association enrollment numbers. A typical middle school, in a low to moderate income neighborhood, has a hard time getting parents to come to an open house, band concert or any of a number of school functions. It's the schools in more affluent areas that parental involvement increases exponentially. And as parental involvement increases, disciplinary problems typically decrease and the need for 'class desegragation' based upon clothing is minimal. Another factor is gang involvement. What color clothing a child wears can specify which gang they're involved with. And yes, in some areas this is even a problem at the Elementary school level. :-(

All in all, IHMO, uniforms are a good thing in schools. It keeps kids minds more focused on learning and less interested in 'Johnny's wearing xxxx!! Did you see him??' There needs to be standards but they also must allow the children to express their individuality as they grow. These guidelines should include things like dress/skirt length for girls (minimize the boy's distractions...) and basic colors for tops and bottoms but not much more. Too much control fosters inability to express individuality and low self-esteem. It also hampers development of imagination and ability to make educated decisions. All of which are necessary for a child to learn to accept their peers, superiors and subordinates with an open mind and respect for their individuality as well as the development of the courage to express themselves without fear of reprisal.

That's my $.30. I hereby turn the soapbox to the next respondent.

Happy Heeling!!

Shoeiee

Hi Shoeiee,

many thanks for your long interesting answer. Also thanks to BobHH and Hoverfly!

The issue "school uniform" was also sometimes discussed in Germany. The argumentation of the supporters is partly the same as in America. The competition among the pupils "Who has the most stylish and most expensive outfit (and brands)?". Naturally a problem for children from the lower class.

I'm glad that this discussion wasn't successful for the advocates of school uniforms. In Germany the public school is the usual school. We have also some private schools (elite schools of the upper class, anthroposophist schools -->Rudolf Steiner and some religious schools). But they all have no school uniform or extreme dress codes. Thank God, criminal gangs are a minor problem in my country.

I'm convinced that uniforms are the worst solution. We Germans have a lot of bad experience with uniforms

I'm not talking only about military uniforms but also about the uniforms of the Hitler-Youth (Hitler-Jugend = HJ) and the uniforms of the Young Pioneers (Junge Pioniere) in the "communist" eastern Germany. I'm born there and I remember still my first year in the elementary school. Many children already were wearing the blue neckerchief. I was jealous on them because my parents didn't allow me to become a Young Pioneer.

Nowadays I know that my parents were right but as a 6 years old boy I felt as an outsider. That was my very first experience with uniforms.

IMHO uniforms are always the wrong way. I don't believe that you can solve social problems with the crutch of uniformation. The school gangs and the extreme rate of violence and criminality in America are obviously a social problem.

Still another aspect:

I'm sure that you are demanding your individual right (just like me) to wear high heels, a stylish outfit, tattoos or earrings. How do you explain this to your teenage children? Freedom only for adults?

That seems ridiculous to me: Fashionble foolishness is the privilege of the youth! Ok, I'm claiming this right for me too - but this doesn't change the truth of my last sentence.

A uniformed youth? Apage satanas

micha

[Firefox]

My main gripe with dress codes in schools is unfair treatment between sexes. I don't care too much if the standards are applied uniformly but unfairness is sexism. The main culprits are 1. Boys can't wear long hair 2. Boys can't wear earrings 3. Boys can't wear short sleeves 4. Boys can't wear anything other than trousers 5. Girls often have a wider range of colour choice. Eg Girls can wear grey, navy or white socks/tights Boys must wear grey sockes etc etc. Basically they are tryign to enforce their own pathetic norms.

[Shoeiee]

Posted: 15 Jun 2003 19:04 Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shoeiee wrote:

Micha,

When I read your post I checked out some of the links you posted. I can see why you may have been stunned but...Three of the four links you posted were from religiously based, conservative, private schools while one was of a public school system.

Here in the US, private schools are typically very expensive and exculsive. They almost always have an established dress code and will happily expel or refuse entry to any student or parent who refuses to abide by their code. They have that right as they're privately owned with no funding from the government. They can set their standards and require their attendees to abide by them. This is because they provide a much better overall education than the public schools can usually provide. Much of their ability is based upon the fact that since the parents are shelling out so much money for their kids' schooling, they have a tendancy to be more involved and interested in seeing a quality return for their investment. This brings greater involvement from the parents.

The public school system is a different sroty. They are very limited in what they can force upon their students as all children have the right to an education. They also have to be careful to match their requirements to the will of the parents to ensure they get the tax $$$ from the parents maintaining residence in their district. Hence, their codes are usually less restrictive and more weakly enforced. The elementary and middle schools we're zoned for have dress codes but that's on a school by school basis. Our entire city doesn't have a mandatory dress code. The code is rather liberal as it only mandates a specific color for tops, pants/skirts and shoes. It also specifies no bearing of the midriff for the K-8 crowd. But that's really about it. As for high schools, no public school principle in this area is crazy enough to try that one...There would be a riot!! As for the parents in the public school system, there are many of them who feel that the school system is OBLIGATED to teach their kids everything about everything. They have very little involvement in pushing their children to excel and nearly no involvement in the school system. It's sad, but many of them (parents...) behave as if children are more of a bother than a blessing. This has been brewing for years and can be clearly demonstrated by looking at Parent Teacher Association enrollment numbers. A typical middle school, in a low to moderate income neighborhood, has a hard time getting parents to come to an open house, band concert or any of a number of school functions. It's the schools in more affluent areas that parental involvement increases exponentially. And as parental involvement increases, disciplinary problems typically decrease and the need for 'class desegragation' based upon clothing is minimal. Another factor is gang involvement. What color clothing a child wears can specify which gang they're involved with. And yes, in some areas this is even a problem at the Elementary school level.

All in all, IHMO, uniforms are a good thing in schools. It keeps kids minds more focused on learning and less interested in 'Johnny's wearing xxxx!! Did you see him??' There needs to be standards but they also must allow the children to express their individuality as they grow. These guidelines should include things like dress/skirt length for girls (minimize the boy's distractions...) and basic colors for tops and bottoms but not much more. Too much control fosters inability to express individuality and low self-esteem. It also hampers development of imagination and ability to make educated decisions. All of which are necessary for a child to learn to accept their peers, superiors and subordinates with an open mind and respect for their individuality as well as the development of the courage to express themselves without fear of reprisal.

That's my $.30. I hereby turn the soapbox to the next respondent.

Happy Heeling!!

Shoeiee

Hi Shoeiee,

many thanks for your long interesting answer. Also thanks to BobHH and Hoverfly!

The issue "school uniform" was also sometimes discussed in Germany. The argumentation of the supporters is partly the same as in America. The competition among the pupils "Who has the most stylish and most expensive outfit (and brands)?". Naturally a problem for children from the lower class.

I'm glad that this discussion wasn't successful for the advocates of school uniforms. In Germany the public school is the usual school. We have also some private schools (elite schools of the upper class, anthroposophist schools -->Rudolf Steiner and some religious schools). But they all have no school uniform or extreme dress codes. Thank God, criminal gangs are a minor problem in my country.

I'm convinced that uniforms are the worst solution. We Germans have a lot of bad experience with uniforms

I'm not talking only about military uniforms but also about the uniforms of the Hitler-Youth (Hitler-Jugend = HJ) and the uniforms of the Young Pioneers (Junge Pioniere) in the "communist" eastern Germany. I'm born there and I remember still my first year in the elementary school. Many children already were wearing the blue neckerchief. I was jealous on them because my parents didn't allow me to become a Young Pioneer.

Nowadays I know that my parents were right but as a 6 years old boy I felt as an outsider. That was my very first experience with uniforms.

IMHO uniforms are always the wrong way. I don't believe that you can solve social problems with the crutch of uniformation. The school gangs and the extreme rate of violence and criminality in America are obviously a social problem.

Still another aspect:

I'm sure that you are demanding your individual right (just like me) to wear high heels, a stylish outfit, tattoos or earrings. How do you explain this to your teenage children? Freedom only for adults?

That seems ridiculous to me: Fashionble foolishness is the privilege of the youth! Ok, I'm claiming this right for me too - but this doesn't change the truth of my last sentence.

A uniformed youth? Apage satanas

micha

Micha,

Although I was not around during the time you're describing, I can understand the frustration you felt and recognize the wisdom of your parents in their decision. Also, be glad you don't have the gang problems we have here in the US. It wouldn't be so bad if parents took a more active role in their children's lives, IMHO.

As for uniforms not solving any social problems, you are correct. They can't solve the problem AS A WHOLE, but can minimise the effects in a specified environment, i.e., school. The problems of society in general will never be cured by a uniform. We are each our own individual and need the ability to express ourselves. But at the same time, 'social norms' is a very slow evolution of thought. Our personal preference for heels is not the norm yet and we can only work toward that goal and hope that it will be in the future. But for now, rearing a child in 'proper and acceptable' soceital norms is a good thing, as long as they are also taught that these 'norms' are ever changing.

As adults who challenge these concepts, we are responsible to not only ourselves, but to the future generations for their training, both in and out of school. My feelings are that school is to teach the academic skills of life and home is to teach the rest. I don't feel that parents should rely on the school system to teach their children fashion awarness, religion (unless as requested by the parents...private school...) or many other aspects of life. This is the job of being a parent.

Teaching children that 'being different' is good, as long as we teach that being 'normal' is also good. It's a matter of 'situational awarness' and sound decision making as to what fashion/actions/attitude a person should present and when. You must admit that there are times when conformity is nearly a necessity. But teaching the youth to challenge the norms is also an important part of rearing children. The most sucessful people have typically been those who 'pushed the envelope' and challenged conventional wisdom. But they too have been trained in the classical conventions and have developed ways to effet change in a positive way.

As for teens...When children reach these years of self-discovery and expression, I believe that it is important for the parents to take an active role in their decisions yet empower their children to make decisions for themselves. They will learn from their experiences. At this stage, they are more responsible and less needy of strict guidlines. The basics have been taught and they are branching out. This is a good time for them to develop their own sense of fashion and individuality. Parents are most important for guidance rather than rule enforcement. Is it hypocritical for an adult parent to wear heels yet tell their child they can't?? Until the child can reasonably make the proper choices of when and where this activity is appropriate, no, I don't feel it is. It's the same as intimacy...Adults do it, why can't they?? Maybe because they are not emotionally or financially ready for the consequences. Is that wrong? I don't feel it is. Especially since the parent is responsible for their children's actions until they are mentally competant adults.

Well, I've added another $.50 to this topic so I shall relinquish the soapbox once again :-)

This is an excellent topic for discussion and I hope I'm not offending anyone here. As a parent, I accept my role in the development of my children enthusiactially and can only hope that my love and concern for their well being will not overpower their need for development.

Happy Heeling!!

Shoeiee

[azraelle]

There was a movie made not too long ago about a "tomboy" who was hospitalized for psychiatric problems of not being feminine enough--based on a true story back in the 60's or 70's called Girl, Interrupted starring Angelina Jolie and Winona Ryder. If parents have enough money, the tendency is for expensive private psychiatrists to milk them for every possible dime in the guise of convincing the parents that there is something wrong with Johnny or Janey, and that a few months of encounter group therapy and counseling will "cure" them, the length of time frequently corresponding to how much money can be milked, or how large the insurance policy is. Rich parents have this attitude that they don't have to do research to discover the truth of the claims--that's what they pay EXPERTS for. It just never seems to enter their head that credentialed experts wouldn't have altruistic motives, or would lie to them.

[raccoon]

Rich people want their children to become part of the establishment. They think teaching them to "behave" is what it takes.