What's OK and what is not OK?

[Mr.O]

I have a question for you all. A couple of months ago I was on a plane, and one of the hostesses had some very nice court shoes – I’d say 3 and a half inches – that she wore as she welcomed passengers onto the plane, did the safety messages and so on. In my humble opinion she knew she looked good in them, she wore sheer tights and walked around with confidence – looking great. Then as the flight progressed she changed into flats to do the in flight service and so on. Well, after the meal I got up and went to the toilet up by the front and as I turned round to lock the door noticed a bag hanging from the coat hook…… Well, I couldn’t help but look in and lo and behold there in the bag were her shoes. so I took one out, admired it, saw the make, size etc, but did no more. I would have loved to try it on (and you can imagine what else) but my question is would I have been OK to do so..? Would she have minded that some guy was feeling her shoes in the bathroom? Just thought i'd share that. I'm new to all of this, hope this isn't inappropriate.

[jwhite44]

My guess is yes, she'd have minded someone feeling her shoes (or anything else of her personal property). You likely would have had better results if you went up to the flight attendent, and just say, "Excuse me, but I think you might have left your heels in the bathroom." If they were hers, she'd have known it, and gone and gotten them. [At that point, you could have started a conversation, "I noticed you wearing them while passengers were boarding, they looked good on you.] If they weren't hers, then best to leave the crew to deal with any unattended property on the plane.

[Tech]

I'd say, IMHO, the point where you started looking in somebody else's bag was inappropriate, and anything past that, well,

[hoverfly]

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[Amanda]

I wouldn't have been very pleased if I knew that a man had been trying any of my clothes on in a public toilet. I'm fairly sure that you knew that when you looked in the bag. I think you were right not to try them on.

[Bubba136]

Hmm, most airliners these days have special compartments for crew members to put their stuff. Usually forward of the passenger compartment or somewhere near the galley. Admittedly, it's not large (proportional to the size of the aricraft) but usually large enough to hold things any "stewardess' " might carry on. Proper thing to do, IMO, would be to tell the flight attendant that someone had left some personal stuff in the Lav. And, she might want to put it in a safe place until she can find the owner.

[Dr. Shoe]

Indeed. The only excuse one would have for looking in a bag would be in case it was a terrorist bomb. Even then it's wiser not to so no excuse at all IMO.

[roniheels]

Very simply, would you want someone going through your bag and trying on your clothes or shoes?

[Amanda]

Very simply, would you want someone going through your bag and trying on your clothes or shoes?

Exactly....."Do unto others as you would have done unto you"

I believe that it is our duty as heel wearers to stick to this code.

That way we can help make the world to be a better place.

[tightsnheels]

We have this problem at work with one nosy individual going through peoples belongings and desks and I can assure you that NO it is not right or polite.

Fortunately I keep nothing of consequence in my things but it is still enough to tick you off because you feel violated. Do you realize just how much of a pervert that woman would have thought you were had she caught you? Or would you have wanted to explain yourself to airport security at the end of the flight? Anyones bag/purse/desk/dresser/medicine cabinet is their own space and by context is not public, even if she had left her shoes sitting on a shelf in the open it would not have been right for anyone to peruse them.

All I can say is shame, shame on you!

T&H

[Jen J]

Umm. Wrong. Ever had your car or home broken into? Even if nothing is taken, there was still someone in your car or home, both places where you feel safe. Once that happens they do not feel so safe anymore. Her property, not yours. Plain and simple. Jen.

[Eggnog]

I think that sometimes it is difficult to supress our natural curiosity but in the end we must. And in addition to it being immoral to try on her shoes or go through her stuff, you could end up with a foot fungus or something. Okay, that may be doubtful but there is that chance!

[HappyinHeels]

I was returning from a work trip to Peru last June on the Lima-Miami leg when I used the bathroom and saw a bag about the size of a large shoe box in which clothes and a pair of shoes were partially visible. Once I left the bathroom a flight attendant was only six feet away since AA's bathrooms were right by the galley and told her what I'd found and within seconds the item was in the airline's custody. In this case the integrity and privacy of the someone else's things were preserved and there was a near 100% chance of the items being returned to its owner since we were still up in the air (I say near 100% since there are people who can actually sleep through anything and on any conveyance) and might miss an announcement. Like Jen J. said, it belongs to someone else and to peruse or rifle through it is not unlike breaking a car window to go through the car's contents. Respecting other people's property no knows borders even you are literally in between borders!! HappyinHeels

[M-a]

I think you actually know what's not ok when it comes to things like this and now you're just hoping that someone will tell you otherwise. But no, it's never ok to take advantage of the fact that a woman forgot her heels in the bathroom. You don't know this lady at all. You don't know who she is or how she would react if you actually would have tried them out and she somehow found out. I think that a lot of woman would feel a bit violated and objectified. Even if that was never your intention there's a big possibility that she would feel that way. For a lot of woman (at least for me) high heels is a part of our own sexuality and I would have reacted to someone trying my heels on without permission in the same way that I would have reacted if someone went through my underwear and tried them on.. It might seem like a small innocent thing to do but it could actually change the way the woman in question views herself in the future. I advise you to think about the consequenses your actions might have on others and to follow the advise given by others in this thread: "Do unto others as you would have done unto you"