Partners thoughts of you wearing womens footwear?

[jim]

LOL...! Don't sugar coat it now metalspikes...tell it how it is.. (love yer style btw) jim

[gwl1]

Mikey63, Stopping the relationship sooner rather than later will give you faster relief than 2 Alka-Seltzer! I think you have had some good advice here. Drop her if she's not supportive. Your relationship isn't likely to improve, and may get worse. Marriage is a relationship with lots of compromises, but if she isn't willing on something this important to you, you'll be miserable. Don't tie the knot with this woman. There are other fish in the sea and as soon as you terminate this relationship, start fishing! You'll be glad you did. Just my 2p. GWL

[johnieheel]

Mikey63,

Stopping the relationship sooner rather than later will give you faster relief than 2 Alka-Seltzer! I think you have had some good advice here. Drop her if she's not supportive. Your relationship isn't likely to improve, and may get worse. Marriage is a relationship with lots of compromises, but if she isn't willing on something this important to you, you'll be miserable. Don't tie the knot with this woman. There are other fish in the sea and as soon as you terminate this relationship, start fishing! You'll be glad you did.

Just my 2p.

GWL

Now thats good advice!

[STREETWALKER]

Told my wife 7 years ago, after being together for 6 years. She was more understanding than I thought she'd be, initially. Then after it had sunk in, she said that it disgusted her. She now blocks it out of her thoughts. I totally envy any of you with understanding partners. Sometimes it really hurts to be so alone........

[dressboots]

Wife was fine with my wearing HH in private before we married and soon thereafter. Did not mind the occassional public setting when we were unlikely to encounter friends or family and done so tastefully. Last several years is still fine with private wearing, but is intolerant and worried about public settings due to opinions of her friends. Some of them even disapprove of unisex shoes for me such as Crocs. I assured her I would not wear Crocs - easy choice as I think they are ugly anyway. However, it does not change the situation of peer pressure. Thus why I vote does not tolerate. Footwear is out in the world for me. I go barefoot at home so wearing heels in the privacy of my home is not approval in my book - it is an artificial setting.

[Mikey63]

Thanks to all for the advice and my apologies to everyone for apparently hijacking the threat. I have a lot to think about here, ive never been someone who follows the crowd and I have very little patience for people who change their entire way of thinking just because someone tells them to. I happen to know that the relationships/marriages of all the mentioned "friends" of my gf are currently "on the rocks", which is hardly surprising when you look at the attitude they have with their partners. In a relationship you must be as close to eachother as possible, not push your partner away because someone told you that intimacy and closeness was "wrong". Maybe their husbands are cheating on them, but who brought the attitude into the relationship first? Putting it into perspective, if im stuck in a marriage and ive got children to think about and my wife is as mentioned.... Yes I f*cking well would cheat on her!! As for my heels....... I've been wearing heels now for over a year, its not something im going to change, its not wrong in any way and causes no harm to anyone (except perhaps to me, if the car breaks down in a bad area!) My collection has grown now to 16 pairs of shoes/boots, its not something I can keep secret anymore, I also have a number of pairs of women's jeans which I find work best with heels. My gf can either accept it or tolerate it or be gone.

[johnieheel]

Thanks to all for the advice and my apologies to everyone for apparently hijacking the threat.

I have a lot to think about here, ive never been someone who follows the crowd and I have very little patience for people who change their entire way of thinking just because someone tells them to. I happen to know that the relationships/marriages of all the mentioned "friends" of my gf are currently "on the rocks", which is hardly surprising when you look at the attitude they have with their partners. In a relationship you must be as close to eachother as possible, not push your partner away because someone told you that intimacy and closeness was "wrong".

Maybe their husbands are cheating on them, but who brought the attitude into the relationship first? Putting it into perspective, if im stuck in a marriage and ive got children to think about and my wife is as mentioned.... Yes I f*cking well would cheat on her!!

As for my heels....... I've been wearing heels now for over a year, its not something im going to change, its not wrong in any way and causes no harm to anyone (except perhaps to me, if the car breaks down in a bad area!)

My collection has grown now to 16 pairs of shoes/boots, its not something I can keep secret anymore, I also have a number of pairs of women's jeans which I find work best with heels. My gf can either accept it or tolerate it or be gone.

Thats the spirit!

[loswabs]

I'm in the works of letting my wife know about my being into boots. She owns a pair that i bought for her and she knows i have a fetish for them but not that my fetish also involves me wearing them as a regular fashion piece. We'll see where it goes and i'll post some updates when they become available.

I recently came out that i'm also into womens jeans and she totally supports me and even took me shopping and picked some out for me so hopefully this will go the same way:nervous:

Good luck, let us know how it went, hopefully well

[metalspikes]

Told my wife 7 years ago, after being together for 6 years.

She was more understanding than I thought she'd be, initially. Then after it had sunk in, she said that it disgusted her. She now blocks it out of her thoughts.

"Denial: it's not a river in Egypt." I've been on the wrong end of that, made me feel like a roast beef, when they slice off the tender bits they like and toss the rest in the bin. I was talking with my mates about what we would like to see more of in the world. One said "radical acceptance." Now, isn't that just a mouthful?

I totally envy any of you with understanding partners.

I can certainly relate to that.

Sometimes it really hurts to be so alone........

Sometimes? I hurt all the time. I can't even keep a pet, where I live. Some day, though, the pain will be gone, eventually (I can hardly wait)...

My fiance loves seeing in high heels. We buy matching shoes all the time. As a matter of fact if the store doesn't have my size, she won't buy her size. We are the same size in panties, stockings, and skirts. So we just go all out at home. She loves to do my toenails and fingernails to match her. I love her to pieces.

I have only one word for that: Wow!

I'm in the works of letting my wife know about my being into boots. She owns a pair that i bought for her and she knows i have a fetish for them but not that my fetish also involves me wearing them as a regular fashion piece. We'll see where it goes and i'll post some updates when they become available.

Best of luck, or good fortune, on that.

I recently came out that i'm also into womens jeans and she totally supports me and even took me shopping and picked some out for me so hopefully this will go the same way:nervous:

Sounds promising but, as you suggest (reading between the lines), that doesn't guarantee anything about how she will respond to your love of heels. I tell people that I can never be content to just be a passive observer, a spectator, a "couch potato in front of the television." If something takes my fancy, I want to do it, not just watch. As others have said many times, why should women have all the fun? To hell with "men are to be practical and utilitarian" all the time! To quote Eddie Izzard, "Women wear what they want and so do I."

[Jamie001]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking a little feminine. Feminine does not equate to gay!! Most gays do not look feminine! That is an example of how naive society is regarding gays.

There is nothing wrong with adding feminine flare to your otherwise drab wardrobe. After all, in highebd department stores, menwear can be found in the women's section of the store and regularly wear men's items. Men need to come out of the dang stone-age. Several hundred years ago. men wore high-heels.

ok so i've got a little bit of an update for ya'll. Yesterday we went shopping and before we left i threw on "her" boots and showed them too her and was joking around like "look how good i look in these" she responded "they make you kinda look a little gay". I continued by saying "what you don't like my new fashion risk i'm wanting to take" and she replied " I didn't say they looked bad they just make you look kinda feminine". That is pretty good since i know when i came out to her about wearing girls jeans she thinks it's cool as well as all my and her other female friends. I will sometime within the next couple of weeks be buying the boots that are pictured in my avatar so i'll post another update if anything new happens.

l8r

[Mikey63]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking a little feminine. Feminine does not equate to gay!! Most gays do not look feminine! That is an example of how naive society is regarding gays.

There is nothing wrong with adding feminine flare to your otherwise drab wardrobe. After all, in highebd department stores, menwear can be found in the women's section of the store and regularly wear men's items. Men need to come out of the dang stone-age. Several hundred years ago. men wore high-heels.

Most of us are actually afraid of being different to "normal", as men we are supposed to be afraid of nothing, we are strong, we are manly, yet the thought of wearing a female garment sends pure fear into all but the most liberated of us. I remember being told by my father that he'd send me to school in a dress if I didn't behave, easy to see then why we have these silly fears all these years later.

I wear my heels with pride, I am free from this ridiculous fear!!

[thedesigner]

hooray!! Similar thoughts!! Soulmate realises that just becos i wear heels earrings and nailpolish becos i think they look good it does not mean i am less likely to njoy a pint, watch the motor racing or treasure the ground she walks on.We do individual style, not freaky, with thought, and our friends love us for being ourselves and confident with it. We have a wkd time together and those who dont like it can sail away!!!! (bein polite)

[Prutske255]

I have voted I have no partner . I live together with my parents , but they disapprove . I wear heels as often as I could into my room . My shoes and boots are exposed into my bedroom . Last week was the first time i went out in Brussels shopping for shoes ,but din't find a pair .Four days later I bought 6 pair of shoes and boots at a friend . I tried them on an wear them as often as possible . Prutske

[thedesigner]

good luck, keep the faith!! It wil get easier!

[heelsnhose77]

My wife approves that I wear HH and doesn't have a problem if I wear them at home. I'm very lucky. Being in SA the public is very conservative about this type of thing. We have a 14month old son who will start talking soon and doesn't know that men wearing heals is not normal. He might start talking about it and thus letting all and sundry know that dad is doing something "taboo" in the public's eyes, especially my Folks and friends that don't know of my activities. Thows of you that have kids, how did you handle this? I love wearing my heels and would like to wear them more often and for longer periods of time but find it difficult as my wife doesn't like me wearing them while son is awake. Please help and advise. Thanx.

[thedesigner]

ive got 3 girls, they know i do womens shoes but not necessarily know i do 4" now i'm away from "home". I didnt do womens at school do's in case they started takin the piss out the girls, but my youngest is a rebel at skool anyway and popular so she could take it. If in doubt dont do it out. At home, not big heels but maybe discuss fashion thru the ages i.e men used to be the flamboyant ones as is in nature...........

[johnieheel]

Thedesigner, This could very well change over time. I have 2 daughters,26 and 35. They both know I wear heels and have for a very long time. Actually the youngest just found out about 2 years ago and has had alot of fun with it buying me gifts for fathers day. bd Christmas etc of shirts with heels , a high heel jewlery box, little trinkets , wall hangers to even making a pair of chocolate pumps in life size to give me at work in front of every body for fathers day.LOL I had to show those beauties off. My oldest came out at my wedding last week and shocked me woth 2 high heel wall hangers. That was soooo cool. I think daughters would be more exceptable to it than a son. But I have no son so I really don't know. On the other hand, My youngest daughters boy friends have all excepted it and even gotten me gifts and think its cool. Now my youngest grand son of 7 ,like your daughter, is a rebel to the max and tells me I need help! LOL. Gotta love em.

[thedesigner]

I'm sure it will. My soulmate's kids coudnt give a fk bout it cos theyve always known, and they also realsie how i treasure thier mum. We are both off the wall when it comes to fashion anyway and the kids know we dont care. On satuday we are going to seaside and i will be doing full heels and nailpolish (except converse for beach) and it's my turn this time for a full facial makeover where soulmate had hers last time. That should be fun.........!

[hhpumps]

The wife came home from shopping and said she had something for me. Found at Goodwill for $2.99 and never been worn that I could tell. Anyone who would by them for their partner, certainly knows what I like....

[shyguy]

Nice shoes, a great present from your wife. I guess my wife is becoming more open to my "shoe thing" as she calls it. Recently I bought some womens shoes which have a low heel to wear more often, with her blessing (previously that would have been a no no even though they aren't feminine). I also wear some of her old shoes to go shopping as they are comfortable but have a slight heel, again with her blessing, as they also make my back ache less after shopping for groceries.

[bigbadkatz]

She sometimes has me wear heels and a bra as instruments of humiliation. That, and a pair of steel anklets. Always for just in private, though.

[bootopia]

I'm voting for "has no opinion" for now, but it's a work in progress. I went out to dinner last night with the wife wearing a pair of Lumiani boots with a 2 inch western style heel under my jeans. She gave me a disapproving look before we left the house, but didn't mention anything about my boots when we were out - just the normal dinner conversation. I felt comfortable, and wasn't thinking about the boots, so hopefully this put her at ease as well. When we got home, she took an interest in the boots and asked me how my feet felt after wearing them for several hours. After replying that my feet were fine, she took a good look at them and said they were "cute". This was the second time I've been out with her wearing women's boots, and it was definitely more relaxed than the first time (I wore a pair of JLo boots with 3-1/2 inch heels on that occasion). I was more self conscious the first time, and I think it affected her too. So things are improving, and I may have to recast my vote in the "female partner accepts" category in the future.

[thedesigner]

Wkd shoes hhpumps!! Hope u both enjoy u wearing them ! Soulmate hassome like it which look wkd on. She buys for me too ! You've got a wel gd other half !!

[johnieheel]

She sometimes has me wear heels and a bra as instruments of humiliation. That, and a pair of steel anklets. Always for just in private, though.

TMI....

[Tech]

Always for just in private, though.

Surely it should then stay "private" ???

[bootopia]

My response to this poll is definitely leaning towards "female partner approves" after a trip to Vegas last weekend. I wore a pair of Lumiani 1008 boots on the trip there, and changed into my JLo Melanie boots that evening before we went out to dinner. I wore the JLo's out to dinner and a show the next evening, and paired them with some women's low rise boot cut stretch jeans. We stayed out until 3:00 AM, and my wife didn't make any negative comments the whole time. I got a few looks (with smiles) from female hotel staff, but no comments. Here's a couple of links to the boots I was wearing - http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7259181/c/3.html and http://www.shopgco.com/product/index.cfm?brand=J%20Lo%20by%20Jennifer%20Lopez&styleid=&Style=Knee%2DHigh%2DBoots%2DShoes&AID=1032&color=&dept=2&MID=27970&Size=&bid=0&Stock=844797 - the JLo's were black (not the copper color shown in th link). Sadly, the JLo's have been out of production for a couple of years. I hope they bring them (or something similar) back this fall.

[Dr. Shoe]

Those are good streetheel boots anyway...

[RHTRick]

My wife enjoys my wearing heels however, I want so bad to wear heels out and about and that I feel is where she may draw the line! I too am too shy to wear out and about for fear of the jeers and insults!

[thedesigner]

grrr....... makes me mad when other half hates it..... my ex was like that, but probaly jealousy cos i could do heels and she couldnt...... ive now moved on to better things and higher heels......

[Phoenix]

My wife enjoys my wearing heels however, I want so bad to wear heels out and about and that I feel is where she may draw the line! I too am too shy to wear out and about for fear of the jeers and insults!

I had the same feelings initially. I went out (after practicing inside) in 3 inch boots with jeans and no one and I mean no one even cared. I was hypersensitive about someone seeing me and laughing or making snide remarks. Nothing happened. All my anxiety was really in my head. Now (many years later) I ware what I want.

You have an advantage I didn’t have at the time “My wife enjoys my wearing heels”.

I suggest you give it a try. Relief and satisfaction may be only a few steps away.