Another photos

[Tom-NL]

Ah, cut the guy a break! (...) I'm happy he's here and I'm sure he's aware we're all here to support him and, perhaps, help him sort things out should he wish our input.

Amen to that!

[Tech]

What are you telling me to cut the guy a break? 'm not bashing him, I'm not insulting him or giving him a hard time. Cant we all be curious about each other and make observations without being accused of giving people a hard time? Obviously were all happy for him, but if he cant be happy for himself, then do we either "ignore it" like nothing is wrong (Which is what most of you are doing, and feeding him garbage about how great he looks) or do we really want to know whats getting him down, and offer some help (Like a proper friend would)? If your own personal friends came to you looking miserable, and telling you they had no reason to be happy after you had asked them why they dont smile and dont seem happy, would you want me to jump in and tell you to "Cut the guy a break" and leave him be so we can all just carry on like nothing is wrong or would you really want to know whats getting your buddy down and try to help? Personally speaking, I'd love to know why he isnt happy, and whats getting him down, and I'd hope that if he were to share it with us that we might be able to help rather than spoon feeding him rubbish. Its one thing to tell him "I like what your wearing" but please, enough already with the "You look great". He doesnt look great, he looks depressed ALL the time, and any friend of mine who saw me like that and "Left me to myself" wouldnt be a friend at all.

[Stilettoscot]

When I post that, and say "you look great", I am referring to the outfit/shoes. Truth be told, I like most of the outfits he's put together.

[rmaciej1983]

This is what is confusing, if he doesnt "enjoy it" then why do it... Clearly it looks like he is "un-confortable" doing it, so why bother. Dont us "humans" tend to do the things we enjoy in life and avoid the things that we dont like?

I just find it a little odd that he is "seemingly" saying "Look at me, I'm really not happy like this"

If he was happy doing what he is doing, then wouldnt he "exude" similar expressions found on kneehighs or others for example?

If your not comfortable doing something, and it doesnt make you happy, then its time for a change huh?

Will you be happy if your father would saying that you are fag or that you bring him shame?

Will you be happy if some strange people want to beat or maybe kill you?

Will you be happy if your girlfriend leave you?

Will you be happy if you can't attain what you want no matter how big are your efforts?

The reason why i'm waering high heels is simple: i can't tolerate thing that i have to wear something, because someone order me, because i'm a man, not woman.

I don't understand men, who say "i want wear skirt", but they don't do this, because they afraid. I couldn't live like that. This situation must bring much more unhapiness.

When i want really something, i MUST have it! But i still don't have everything, what i want.

[flavio]

Hey rmaciej1983 You for sure have a lot of points that can make you feel miserable about your desires. I think that our admin Tech had the answer he asked for. I know it's terrible to show happiness when you're down. Since I believe your story is true, I think that you're the full exposure of what all of us around here are affraid of: beeing misunderstood, criticized, misconcepted and, the worst, even injured. All I want to wish you is that you can solve your problems or, who knows, time can tell to the people that hurt you that you're a great guy and the clothes and shoes you wear are the full expression of your great personality. I'm trying here to help you but I really don't think you want some help at this time. But think of the following: - you live in a huge society - some people maybe like you the way you are; - you have a job, regardless you clothing preference, and you even WEAR them to work - a lot of people today are affraid of loosing their jobs due to the financial crisis; - try to forget you old gf, I'm sure it's not your soulmate even if you love her with your full heart; - I'm sure you're a good guy - people around you will treat you worst if you're always showing what you're not. We all are here to support you and appreciate your courage to wear what you pictured in the streets of a so terrible country and society. My best regards

[Bubba136]

My heart goes out to you, rmaciej1983. I know it must be very difficult to express yourself in a way that is viewed as "deviant" by the larger part of the society in which you live. Just remember that you have all of our support and best wishes. Just keep that in mind whenever you are approached by someone that just doesn't understand.

[tightsnheels]

Flavio and Bubba say all I would and say it well.

Just look to the brighter side when you can. As for me my family outside of my wife and kids are very similar to your father. So that I can very well understand.

T&H

[rmaciej1983]

Flavio and Bubba say all I would and say it well.

Just look to the brighter side when you can. As for me my family outside of my wife and kids are very similar to your father. So that I can very well understand.

T&H

"Allways look on the bright site of life" lalala .

[Tech]

Will you be happy if your father would saying that you are fag or that you bring him shame?

Will you be happy if some strange people want to beat or maybe kill you?

Will you be happy if your girlfriend leave you?

Will you be happy if you can't attain what you want no matter how big are your efforts?

The reason why i'm waering high heels is simple: i can't tolerate thing that i have to wear something, because someone order me, because i'm a man, not woman.

I don't understand men, who say "i want wear skirt", but they don't do this, because they afraid. I couldn't live like that. This situation must bring much more unhapiness.

When i want really something, i MUST have it! But i still don't have everything, what i want.

Sorry I've not replied, things are darn hectic.

See, now I find this even more confusing, because you are choosing items of clothing over your own family, the very people who love you and care for you are not as important as some inanmate objects????

Its not the clothes that make you who you are, its you and your personality who make you who you are, yet you want to choose clothing over the very people who care about you?

That, I dont understand!

I'm not having a go at you, I'm just saying, I dont understand it. Surely the family you care about, you would want to please, and be happy with, and the people I know would put their family first.

[jojo]

Totally disagree Tech - you have to be who you are and your family should love you for who you are - not what "society" decides you should be.

[Stilettoscot]

I agree with Jojo. If my family had a problem with my love for heels (my twin sister isn't totally comfortable with it), that's on them.

[Tech]

Totally disagree Tech - you have to be who you are and your family should love you for who you are - not what "society" decides you should be.

Exactly, and "Who" you are is not decided by what threads you put on, or what car you drive, or what size house you live in.

So many people forget that and come out with these crazy things like this where they choose a pair of shoes over their own family/friends/wive's/girlfriends

Its NUTS!

Are you all goinf to turn into a bunch of lonely single people all living with your shoes and no friends or family? Life is not only about shoes, but having people in your life to share things with, and sometimes, we all need to make a compromise.

[hhboots]

Both Jojo and Tech make good points, one is very ideal (saying how others should view him), one is of course more practical, but probably harder than just saying it. Heeling/dressing up especially in public can be addictive similar to a drug to some, and very hard to get rid of. I am not trying to speak for rmaciej, he may have very different reasons then I suspect. My heart goes out to your difficult situation rmaciej.

[Thighbootguy]

Tech noted : “Its not the clothes that make you who you are, its you and your personality who make you who you are, yet you want to choose clothing over the very people who care about you?

That, I don’t understand!”

Let me offer an explanation.

(Caution: Thighbootguy is on his soapbox.)

There are some folks that are very flexible in what they want to be and are willing to let others be their guide. The term wishey-washey comes to mind. There are others that have definite ideas about what they want to be and what is important and they aren’t willing to change. The terms stubborn, self centered, rigid... come to mind. I suspect most of us are somewhere in between but I think rmaciej1983 leans more to the rigid side. Neither extreme is good, however, it is possible to have different characteristics about different aspects of your life. For example, some folks don’t care what they eat, while others are very picky eaters, some folks will listen to any music and others will only listen to classical music (or jazz, or rap ...).

Some folks don’t care how they dress and will just throw on anything, others are very critical of how they dress and wouldn’t consider, for example, of not wearing white shirt and tie (taking off the suit jacket is only done in extremely casual environments). For those folks, the shirt and tie are very important because it makes a statement about who they are. The folks that will throw on anything, don’t use clothing to make a statement, rather they use clothing to make a non statement. I think rmaciej1983 has decided that wearing heels and skirts makes an important statement. That means, for him, it’s not just shoes, he is using heels and skirts to make a statement about himself and he considers that statement important.

How we express ourselves is a very personal thing. For some its very important to make a statement, others are happy to make no statement at all. For those that want to make a statement, the statement we make is also a very personal thing. Some want to shout, “I’m different”, while others want to whisper it. Some want to shout “I’m just like everybody else”, while others only want to whisper that message.

The classic advice is relevant, “All things in moderation”. Being completely wishey-washey and willing to put up with everything is no good, and neither is being so set in your ways that you won't consider anything else isn’t good either.

All that said, I tend to admire folks that are willing to take a stand on something. I may not always agree, and like Tech, I may not understand, but I admire their resolve to take a stand.

[Tech]

lol, and so the lack of understanding continues...... I also admire those who are willing to take a stand against something, but at the expense of friends, family and loved ones when the cause is seemingly about inanimate objects? Would the shirt and tie wearer give up his shirt and tie if his family thought it disgraceful, or bought shame, or even cost him his girlfriends/friends leaving him lonely and miserable or would he see the friends and family as more important than the fabric? There are indeed as you say, many ways to express ourselves or make a stand against something, but if it is at the expense of those who care about you, then it better be a MAJORLY important issue worth fighting for.

[Guest]

well, I for 1 agree with thighbootguy, it seems to me that he makes a LOT of sense in this observation about rmaciej1983 In fact, I'm a lot like him to be honest-I can understand where he's coming from.

[Puma]

Now this is really going to show I'm sat on the fence on this one.......

I read Thighbootguy's post and thought "yeah, you're right".

Then I read Tech's post, and thought "yeah, you're right too!"

Wouldn't it be simple IF we lived in a perfect, tolerant world! But, as we don't there isn't a simple solution to what are in reality, basic personal problems, or 'hang-ups'.

I'd guess that as a social group of people who populate this forum, that not many, if any at all, have a problem with rmaciej1983's attire - it's certainly not a look I'd pick for myself, but I certainly do not have a problem with it.

How many people outside of this forum would have a problem with that kind of style? Probably less than we imagine.

Now that goes back to how we feel in ourselves, our nervousness about how we are perceived by others as being 'outside the norm'.

A human trait, is to please others, to 'fit in' with others......but why should we?

I'm waffling, I don't have an answer, but I'd guess a high percentage of us lead some sort of compromise in our footwear choices, I definitely do, and that is to 'fit in' with family, friends, environment etc. Heels just aren't an option sometimes.

I'm sorry my post isn't really constructive, but I think it says what I wish to convey.

[Thighbootguy]

I think we can bask in the illuminating dawn of Tech’s understanding.

I suspect that for rmaciej1983, what he wears is “a MAJORLY important issue”.

Questioning why it is that important is a whole different issue that I suspect none of the members of this forum are qualified to answer (that includes rmaciej1983).

Many of us have something(s) that we consider “MAJORLY important”, consider, religion, patriotism, being taken seriously, art, music,... . For me, I consider programming to be an art form and it is a really big deal. Associates have suggested that if I redirected my zeal to stuff like solving world hunger, the world would be better off, but for me its programming that's the big deal. Are my priorities right? Most people don’t think so but their my priorities and I deal with them and am happy doing it. Fortunately, I enjoy dealing with them, so there is no incentive to change them. Changing what is important to you can be a real gut wrenching experience that has the potential of destroying you.

I suspect that rmaciej1983 has picked his priorities and is dealing with them. I do hope that he is able to find joy in dealing with them.

[Tech]

I'm not sure your grasping just how serious I mean when I say "Majorly important". ok, so you like programming, maybe you even love doing it, but would you give it up for friends/family/loved ones or would you let it drive them all away? When I said "MAJOR" i really do mean, it has to be a hugeeee issue, something on a global scale worth putting life at risk for, not something that can be done anyday, anytime. Cant say I get it, I'm still lost on this I want the guy to be happy, but seemingly chasing that happiness is carrying such a huge price, that it devalues the happiness immediately. If it didnt, he would not be unhappy, but he is, thus he is feeling the price of chasing what he thought was happiness. If he truly was happy, then other peoples words would never bother him, not in a million years, regardless of who says things, but they do, and it hurts, thus the ones he care's about do indeed mean more to him than his clothing, but he persist's on with the unhappy crusade, but now its for who's benefit?