Steve63130

Majo,

That web site is not the right URL. It should be http://www.rickysarkany.com/.

Interesting video! Thank you.

Steve

Absolutely right! Nothing but honesty here. She is your mother and (we'll assume) she loves you very much. So you owe it to her to be totally honest. Deceipt will not work. It could backfire and put you in a situation where you have no further credibility and trust. Don't go there.

Look, the cat's out of the bag, so she knows about the shoes. I think you really need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with her and tell her the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You love shoes. You love them on women. You love to wear them yourself. It's not so odd - there are thousands of guys in the world who wear heels, many do so publicly. Show her this web site and how many hits it has per day. There are fashion-forward guys like yourself out there who are into heels, hosiery, lingerie, and other items that are traditionally for women, but fashions change and you're just in the vanguard. You have the high heel gene. Nobody knows why, you just do. It's not a fault of yours or a failing of your mother's. It is what it is. Celebrate it!

Now, can you use this conversation to go further? Can you get her permission, blessing, or even encouragement to be able to wear your heels in the house whenever you want? You didn't say if your father lives there, too, so I don't know if that's a complication or not. Maybe your mother will take it well and be ok with your wearing all the time. Wouldn't that be a great milestone? Maybe she loves heels herself and would feel closer to you if you both share that activity and shop together for clothes and heels for yourselves? Only you can know this, but if I were you, I would try to bare my soul at this point, don't hide anything more, show her any other shoes that she didn't find, and use this as a golden opportunity to become closer to your mother and entrust her to your "secret" desires, which are now not-so-secret anyway. Looking at it from her point of view, she may be insecure about the shoes she found and have a thousand questions for you, too! Answer them honestly and bring yourself closer to her emotionally. I hope your discussion ends up with good results.

Keep us all informed how it goes. Good luck!

Steve

I agree with you and would add that legwear (tights, pantyhose, stockings), besides giving you an even color that enhances your legs' appearance, has health benefits you should explore, no matter what your age is.

Steve

Interesting find, Majo! Thanks for sharing it with us!

Steve

Great jeans and heels, W6ISH. Love the pedi, too. Thanks for posting!

Steve

I really like your choice of those G by Guess, I guess! Looks like that zipper in the back must save 20 minutes of time trying to get in and out of them! Hope you enjoy wearing them. Let us know.

Steve

Good advice there. Yes, start with low heels, 2 to 2.5 inches, and wear them often to build up your foot and leg muscles. It's a whole new way of walking and if you haven't done it, your body is going to rebel. So just like any other sport, you need to get into shape. Start low and work your way up. You can't expect to start with high heels without training your muscles properly. Don't give up. Look at it as a journey with a worthy goal. Get the right equipment (low heels) and move up slowly as you become ready for higher heels.

It could be that those heels that give you pain will never be comfortable for you, even if your muscles are prepared for them. Some heels just aren't comfortable. It could be the arch, the toe box, the throat shape, unstable heels, anything. You need to try quite a few shoes to find the ones that work well.Try them with and without hosiery. Don't expect the first shoes out of the box to be the best. There's an old expression that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Keep at it and you'll soon find heels that work for you and make you happy! Return the ones that don't work for you, or sell them on Ebay. Don't try to wear uncomfortable shoes just because they look good. Your feet will be miserable. Search for shoes that fit well, feel good, AND look good.

Enjoy the journey!

Steve

Heelster,

Thanks for posting that report. Sounds like you had a great time. Don't you just love that kind of attention from women? Guys who dare to be different get that kind of response from women quite often, because guys who wear shoes like that are perceived as confident, and confidence is sexy.

Steve

As to the helping or hindering depends on your state of mind and/or situation, whether they are a crutch or a pedestal.

If wearing heels causes you to feel uncomfortable among other people and you aren't ready for public notice, then your back-ups will most likely be the male footwear you have been wearing.

If you are a stealth heeler (wearing blocks or wedges under extra long jeans), you're some what comfortable thinking that people can't see the height of your heels so they wouldn't really notice or care anyway, so a back-up pair is a bit unnecessary. However, if your heels are stilettos in the same mode, you may have some apprehensions should the heel become exposed due to the insufficient length of the jeans, therefore back-up male wear would be at hand.

If you are exposing the heels so that the height can be seen wearing blocks or wedges, the necessity for back-ups would depend on your trust in the quality of the footwear and your ability to go the distance. Stilettos, on the other hand, also depends on your confidence and comfort wearing them publicly and your willingness to deal with the social attitude. Usually the quality of most high heels is really good, except for the heel tips, especially spikes and stilettos. Having a pair of pliers and extra heel tips handy would be preferable over bringing along back-ups, unless you just want the change of height and/or footwear choices. By the remote chance the heels break, come unglued at the seams, or other malfunctions should happen, back-ups would be a welcomed aid.

That's all good as it applies to state of mind. But I'm not concerned about that. I'm more concerned about state of feet. I would carry a back-up pair if after a long time in a particular heel, my ankles get tired or my feet hurt or I get a blister - that sort of thing. That would be my reason for taking a second pair of shoes. They would no doubt be women's shoes and probably heels, but maybe lower ones.

Steve

Getting back to small businesses, like the nail salon and the comic book shop (and my men's Activskin hosiery biz, too), good customers are valuable and we never want to lose even one. We treat them as well as we can so that they come back for more business. If we lose money on a sale in order to provide satisfaction, it will be repaid many times over the future years. It's much easier to keep customers happy than to alienate them (and they tell their friends) and try to find new ones. A business that alienates its customer a lot will soon not be a business. We've all seen examples of that kind of thing.

Steve

I can almost guarantee that she won't want to see you in heels again afterwards.

 

You're right, Dr. Shoe. My experience at a "Walk A Mile..." event was that most of the guys couldn't walk gracefully, and most of them made a mockery of wearing heels. Since it's supposed to be a "fun" event, many of the guys played it up as funny as they could, some wearing dresses, wigs, and other female items, but most just wearing baggy shorts or jeans. It wasn't pretty. In that context, a woman would never take a guy in heels seriously afterward, so the whole affair might well backfire. I would advise against participation in this kind of event, and instead have a serious talk with the wife to explore limits and options. Sure, one fling at heel wearing this way might work, but there is no chance afterwards.

Steve

Glad to hear you had a good time heeling in public! Enjoy the new shoes! Post photos when you can.

Steve

TBG, if you're going to wear shorts that short, you would be better off to wear sheer-to-the-waist pantyhose. Seeing the panty show below your shorts is a bit jarring. Just trying to be constructive.

Steve

I'm usually not in need of back-up shoes, but Saturday was an exception, because we were going far away for the day. My wife and I drove from central Ohio north to Lake Erie to visit friends in Marblehead, Ohio. Mostly we just sat and chatted outside. It was a gorgeous day. But I got some heeling in, too!

Last week I received a new pair of White Mountain "Terrace" sandals in "cognac" (brown, really) and I've been enjoying breaking them in. I wore them to work (half mile walk) a couple of days, and I thought I would also wear them Saturday for the drive up to Lake Erie and back. Once there, I planned to change into my Naturalizer black "Tribute" gladiator sandals with a 2.5 inch wedge heel. But we got to the town of Marblehead, stopped at a cafe for brunch, and I decided to leave the Terrace sandals on. I heard no objection from my wife, so that was good.

The sandals are 3.5 inches high, with a platform of 3/4 of an inch. The net rise of 2.75 inches isn't hard to walk in at all, but the platform is kind of stiff, so it was a different feel, and anyone who knows shoes would know these were women's. I was a little self conscious, but figured I didn't know anyone there, so the heeled sandals would not be a problem. I was right. No looks. No stares. No fashion police making arrests. No newsw helicopters overhead. Life was good. 

Then after we finished eating we went over to the nearby lighthouse, in a state park, and met our friends. I kept the Terrace sandals on, and nobody noticed, or if they did, they didn't say anything. If they'd asked, I would have just said they're clog-style sandals and I really like them. Anyway, I wore the sandals ALL day, including to lunch in the afternoon, and for the drive home and I was still wearing them in the evening. I never did switch to my back-up shoes. The new sandals are really fun to wear, comfortable beyond expectations, and a joy to have on my feet. And the fact that my wife didn't object is a real bonus. It gave me a lot of courage to wear them out to other places more often, too.

I wouldn't have found them if Bluejay hadn't mentioned them, and for $20 at 6pm.com, they're a super bargain! I wore them Sunday to breakfast with friends at the local coffee house. And I wore them last night to a Mexican restaurant with friends of ours. They're still on my feet today at the office! And although I have back-up shoes at the office, I have no intention of changing into them. These are too much fun! Last night I ordered another pair in black!

Steve

Yep, we're dispersed everywhere, but unless we found each other here in one place, we wouldn't know that others exist. We'd think we were the only heel wearer in the world, and that would make us feel very odd and very alone. The presence of many others who share our interest in heels has motivated many of us to get out there and wear what we want!

Steve

Good reading, Kneehighs. Thanks for the link.

Steve

Assuming that your wife is reasonably perceptive and intelligent, she ought to see right through this pretext and start questioning your motivation. Why not just come out and trust her with the whole truth first? If you have a strong and loving relationship, there should be no harm to it and you will be relieved at not having to hide your desires from her in the future.

Steve

Newfie, pm Bluejay and arrange an evening with him, shoe shopping and dinner. You will enjoy meeting him! Have fun!

Steve

Thanks, ILK.

Steve

Kneehighs,

You're welcome!

Your words are very influential here on this forum. I think we all have great respect for you and your accomplishments, and we appreciate reading what you post here. Keep up the good work!

Steve

I found a link that said "Tell us what you think" at the bottom of that page. I did. Here's what I submitted:

I just read "How to Walk in High Heels" and while it's well written and helpful in general, it reeks of sexual prejudice. Of course it is mostly for women, and that's fine, but why not give us men a little credit? Many of us love to wear high heels, too, and we're Ebay customers more than the women (proportionally) because we'd rather buy online than in shops (where larger sizes are scarce). Please edit this potentially helpful guide to replace "women" with "wearers" and eliminate all the references only to females. Thank you!"

I'm sure my advice will be ignored promptly! LOL

Steve

Shafted,

I agree with Kneehighs on this issue. Please consider moving it back to the For The Guys section. Thanks.

Steve

No they're not! You bought them all!

Just being silly!

Steve

My next "challenge" will be connecting with SF for lunch or the like in a month or two. I will be moving into our new place about an hour and a half away from his neck of the woods on Friday.

I hope all your great shoes are moving with you!

Steve

Happy, confidence is the real key!

Steve