Steve63130

TBG, we were lucky here in central Ohio. We got only an inch or two - not even enough to warrant shoveling the sidewalks. Don't feel sorry and send me any more - I'm not complaining!

Just to keep on topic, I'm in Clark's black knee high "Ruby Sparkle" boots with 3" tapered stacked heels - and wearing them a lot these days! Will winter never end?

Steve

Being looked at doesn't mean disapproval. It means you're wearing something unusual that they have never seen before, and they're probably wondering what it's all about - and why you're doing it. Too bad they didn't have the courage to ask you, and you could have told them you like wearing heeled booties, and the only choices you have are intended for women, but that doesn't matter. I think they might have been impressed with your confidence.

Steve

Nice heels, xraynt8! Glad your outing was a good one. Each time you'll go heeling in public , it will be easier and easier. Pretty soon you will wonder what the fuss was all about and why you didn't do it sooner! There's nothing to be afraid of.

Good luck!

Steve

Attaboy!

Watch her body language and if she seems uncomfortable with how fast you're pushing the envelope, back off and give her breathing room. Pay attention to her and you'll be where you want to be eventually.

Steve

Nice heels, Bootboy, although they're not boots! Will you wear them in public places as a guy?

Enjoy them!

Steve

Trickrider1,

I'm sorry to hear your marriage is encountering some potholes and a bumpy ride. I hope you can work things out to save it and still continue to pursue your interesting and unusual hobby as well. You may want to see my advice to Joesranch2 under the thread, "Loved the Shoes So Much That I Chose Them for My Avatar."

Good luck and keep us informed on your progress!

Steve

Most women are ok with the idea of men in heels, unless it's THEIR man. But if you can get a foot in the door (so to speak), and it sounds like you have an opening, just go slowly and take baby steps, and you'll find you can make leaps of progress over time. The trick is to keep her in her comfort zone. Don't go too fast. If she's uncomfortable, back off. Push the envelope continously, but take it easy. Over time she'll realize that few people notice and hardly anyone ever says anything. As her confidence builds, you'll be out and about in heels more and more. Communicate with her and tell her how much you appreciate her confidence in you in letting you do what you want to do, even if it's unorthodox, and let her know you're not alone. You have lots of friends here at HHPlace.org. And finally, most importantly, continue to let her know that she's the focus of your life, not your heels. Don't get so preoccupied with heels that she thinks you love them more than her.

Good luck and post on your progress.

Steve

Safe travels, have fun, and enjoy your time with family. Heeling is limited in this winter weather anyway, so think about spring and the warmer weather when you get back!

Steve

Great story, Mlrose!

I tried to learn golf about 15 years ago. I got clubs custom made to order for my body size, took lessons, and really tried to do it right. I spent hours practicing on the driving range and the putting green. All to no avail, I'm afraid. Golf gave me a whole new meaning to the word "frustration." Tiger and Arnold and Jack and the other pros make it look SO easy. It's very misleading.

Maybe if my golf shoes had a higher heel, I would have enjoyed the time more, ya think?

Steve

Good advice, Shafted! In fact, I'm doing just that. My wife and I are moving out of our house in the village (31 years) and into a cottage at a local retirement community in a rural setting. We've been really well accepted there, and we are so impressed with how well run the place is. From the start I've been wearing clogs and sandals with stacked 3 to 3.5 inch heels, many of which are definitely not masculine. Most people haven't paid attention, and I haven't seen any iDrops. But then, I haven't acted self-conscious and looked either. I've just been my confident self and had fun wearing what I wanted to wear. It would be more challenging, I'm sure, if my passion were stiletto heeled platform sandals, but it's not. I'm quite happy with thicker, sturdier heels, and I can't walk in anything much higher than 4 inches anyway. The main thing is, I'm having fun wearing heels every day!

Steve

Heelster,

Yes, one of these days...I wouldn't have been able to get free on Friday - we had some contractors working at the house. But on most days I have some flexibility, so next time you're in the neighborhood, holler beforehand and we'll arrange to meet up. HappyinHeels was through here last weekend and stopped by for a visit. We did some shoe shopping at Nordstrom Rack and went out for some great pub grub. It's fun to meet up with other heelers, and I'd love to add you to my list of heeling friends I've met in person.

Steve

First of all, thank you so much for replies. Telling my girlfriend, sadly, isn't an option. Boring story here, leave at this point if you're not bothered.

 

If it "isn't an option" because you think she'll flip out and think worse of you, I think you're making a grave mistake. If you disclose your past and come clean, you haven't a thing to lose and everything to gain. The worst she'll say is "Ewwww", in which case drop the subject; she at least knows. But it could be she'd like to see your collection and discover what turns you on. If you don't disclose your passion to her, you'll never know her response. Rather than separate you, it could bring you closer together. If you hide your passion from her, it will undoubtedly come back to haunt you someday when she discovers your stash or comes home unexpectedly to find you dressed in heels. THEN you've got some explaining to do and she'll want to know what else you've been hiding. You will regret not telling her sooner.

Steve

Ok, never mind.

Steve

What was his reason for leaving? Enlighten me, please.

Steve

Your statistics are interesting, but on a microscale they don't apply. In our little village of Granville, Ohio, the population is around 2500 and the surrounding township is around the same. Assuming 2000 of those are adult men, the chances of seeing a guy in public (me) are 1 out of 2000. That's a lot better than 1 out of a million.

:-)

Lies, damned lies, and statistics!

Steve

SF, one of these days we're gonna meet up in person and I'll show you another guy into heels! LOL

Steve

Wait! I love thong sandals, too! I have several pairs, including a pair of Ralph Lauren "Roseanne" wedge sandals that I often wear when I get a pedicure.

Steve

If you want your marriage to work out well, then honesty is the ONLY policy. You can't hide stuff from each other. Secrets don't strengthen a marriage, they weaken it. Before you jettison your shoe collection, share your secret with her. You could be right that she'll be turned off by your habit, in which case you can ditch the shoes or put them away for a long time. If she truly loves you, she won't be bothered by what she can't see. But you might be wrong. Some gals are intrigued or even excited about heels, including their man in heels. Don't assume anything. Share your secret. And ask her about her secrets. She has some, I can guarantee it. Find them out. One reason this is very important, besides bringing you closer together, is that you can't hide stuff forever. You'll worry about your stash getting found. And sooner or later it will happen. And when you backpeddle and try to explain it to her, she'll wonder what ELSE you've been hiding from her. The relationship goes downhill from there. So it's important for both of you to share all your warts and imperfections and habits and turn-ons and turn-offs at the very beginning as you are getting serious. Neither of you should be buying a lemon! Be totally honest.

Good luck.

Steve

Unless that "someone I know" is a high heel addict like we are, they won't know or care. We think, because we have this high heel passion, that everyone else does, too, and is always looking at other people's feet. In truth, those who don't have that passion couldn't care less and aren't the least bit observant. It's all in our heads.

Steve

I'm out and about in the community all the time, I always see people I know and to whom I say hello and chat, and I'm STILL waiting for somebody to ask about my heels. If they notice, they don't care.

Steve

I don't feel any difference in confidence and my heel heights don't vary. I enjoy boots and clogs in the 2.5 to 4.0 inch heel height range in winter, and sandals in the same height range in the summer.

Interesting question, though. Let's see what others say...

Steve

ILK,

Kneehighs would be another example. He has worn stiletto heeled pumps comfortably as a guy and gets lots of attention from women. But then, he plans his outfits carefully and has the physique to pull it off confidently. It can be done.

Steve

I like Aerosoles, too. My avatar is a pair of Aerosoles "Platonic" sandals which I bought several years ago and which had their public debut in San Francisco with friends of ours from Scotland. I really like them and bought them in size 11 and 12, not knowing which would fit better. Well, it turned out they both fit ok, and I keep one pair at home and one at the office (both in black). I have them in brown as well. I have 10 other pairs of Aerosoles, too, but I have to admit that some fit better than others; e.g., I have a pair of "Besotted" booties that don't have the arch in the right place and aren't comfortable for long periods of time. Besides Aerosoles, I love Naturalizer, Born, White Mountain, and Clarks in particular.

Steve

Probably a lot more people than you think, in both genders. Men are concerned because they're treading in "forbidden" or taboo territory. They're worried about self-esteem, being seen as gay, and all that stuff. Some men are very insecure about this issue and won't dare go out in public wearing heels. There are a lot of women who think it's ok for other guys to wear whatever they want, including heels, but NOT THEIR MAN. They don't want their husband or SO to wear heels at all. It's a big problem for the guy who has the high heel gene, because his desire won't go away, so it has to be repressed, causing him unhappiness, or if he goes ahead and wears heels, it causes her unhappiness.

You may not care, but a lot of people do.

Steve

Rick,

I am a straight man who wears heels everywhere. I am happily married (just celebrated 40 years), and my wife is ok with my footwear choices. She tells me when I wear something that makes her uncomfortable, and then I respect her wishes and wear something else. I have lots of styles to choose from, so that doesn't bother me at all. My #1 job in life is to make her happy, because when she's happy, she makes me happy.

It wasn't always this way. We've evolved. She used to be very insecure and I used to be self-conscious. We both grew together and found out that most of the world doesn't notice what's on my feet, and those who do, generally don't care. I've never encountered a belligerent woman who is offended by my footwear. On the contrary, most women who notice are impressed that I have the confidence to wear something generally regarded as feminine. So your theory is not backed up by my experience, I'm afraid.

Steve