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Posted

Stilletoscot is trying to set up a mental health unit closely resembling "St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft" Near Pool in Dorset. He is attempting to copy every single detail including having the right kind of grass on the lawn and the swimming pool in the shape of a bile bladder.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

Posted

Dr Shoe, with several of the notious Shoe Gang, are currently planning the UK's biggest gold robbery, one that'll make all other bullion robberies look like the work of amateurs. Why is the gang taking such a risk?

To fund: A mental health unit closely resembling "St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft" Near Pool in Dorset. :thumbsup:

Posted

whereas fast freddy did a roadrunner oop the A1 so he could look down on the angel of the north in his heels... and caused a 15 car crash from drivers looking at his wingspan (politeness prevents me from being more explicit....) durham durham........

Posted

The designer owns a large piece of real estate near Dorset which he intends to add to by buying up a local mental health unit. He will also own rights to the design of the building and intends to block any attempts to copy it.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

PatentHeel advised me which dentist to go to, and that I should wear just an apron and 6" stilettos. He said it's the same one he always goes to, and after she polishes your teeth she will wash and polish your car.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

Shyguy's closest friend is a dentist who was committed to St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset because she had a penchant for cleaning teeth and washing cars in nothing but 6" stilletos and an apron...

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

Posted

Dr. Shoe just receive a multi-million dollar grant for his latest findings in high heel massage therapy. He will be lecturing next week at Harvard, Princeton, and Yale.

Posted

Roniheels is saving for the airfare to get to poole in Dorset in order to attend a seminar on high heel foot massage at St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bwildered and Bereft.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

Posted

The Kinks song "Lola" was originally a tribute to Dr. Shoes alter ego and was to be called Tara. Unfortunately they couldn't find any drink to rhyme with Tara and renamed it Lola.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

bet u didnt know theres a song called shy boy - kippington lodge....

shyguy keeps trying to make a getaway from milton keynes for a bit of heeled skinny dipping at brighton, but keeps getting confused at the f....... roundabouts and ends up back in the town centre

dont worry, when i go to brighton, i'll send you a wave

Posted

As an avid crossword fan thedesigner was THE designer for the MK grid system and roundabouts, and thankful we are to him for it. Unfortunately he is unable to navigate around his own design, and he has spent the last ten years dreaming of getting out of the system and down to Brighton then on to St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft to live out the rest of his days weaving baskets.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

Having survived with reputation 'in tact' from the governments enquiry into invoicing anomolies as main contractor of the MK roadway scheme, shyguy is now expecting a similar enquiry by Poole Council. He was the main building contractor of "St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft" after all.

Co-incidently, shyguy is having a new swimming pool installed in his £2M home this weekend. :thumbsup: His 'never-been-beaten' barrister is coming over for the weekend to watch the building work, and will be paying for his clients building work with cash.

Posted

Fast Freddy has funded the groundbreaking of the new St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft right here in Boston. I bet there will be plenty of "customers" there, too. Thanks Freddy!

Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!

Posted

milton keynes is a great place, hmm, like Blur's joggers who go round and round and round; that was my evil plan, you lucky lucky people, an open prison, where the swimming pool owners listen to recorded seagulls and buy builders sand to make sandcastles whilst they dream of us in st mildreds being forcibly kept in place by leather clad apron wearers who know the difference between suck and blow.... it's a hard job, but someones gotta do it.... will send u a postcard, when my pocket money can afford it....

Posted

The Designer regards his epic Bile-bladder shaped swimming pool to be the epitome of design. However, the significance of this achievement is completely lost on staff and residents of St Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

Posted

Dr Shoe once walked across Horseguards Parade during the 'Trooping of the Colour' wearing leather attire and heels and did a cursty in front of Her Majesty the Queen.

Posted

Patentheel spends the weekends as a Shirley Bassey imitator. He once came second in a Shirley Bassey lookalike competition which he could have won except he refused to don sparkly diamond encrusted wellingtons to complete the glastonbury look.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

Shyguy has just had a pleasant afternoon swimming in the famous Bile-bladder shaped swimming pool at St. Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

Posted

Dr Shoe recently became "Green".

Hard evidence to support this claim, is The Plan to covert the Bile-bladder shaped swimming pool at St. Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset, into an ice rink during the winder months. The "Green" plan includes as the main benefit, the proposal to use solar energy to power the refridgeration plant, that will convert the water to ice.

Unfortunately the Project Feasability Study concluded, that despite the site being near Poole in Dorset, the energy available would barely put a 1/4" layer of ice across the top of the pool. While everyone on the Project Committee agreed the 'technical' solutions offered by Dr Show would probably work (6ft long skate blades and maximum age of skater to be no more that 1 year old), funding for the innovative new skate blade wasn't available.

Despite the (some thought hollow) threat of sending the male Committee members home with lipstick smudges on their shirts, the Project is expected to be shelved.

...

Posted

Fastfreddy2 was on the comittee and was first inline for the lipstick smudges.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

...and it was actually Shyguy's idea.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

Posted

Dr. Shoe is going to Glastonbury to do his infamous Madonna tribute, he calls himself Muddonna due to the Glasto conditions.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

fastfreddy2 is appearing on the John Peel stage at Glastonbury, with a reformed Hatfield and the North, where he will be breakdancing and pogoing onstage in a latex outfit custom made by...

the inmates of St Matildas, uber haute coutouriers to the poor and infamous.

All the crowd will be rocking (sic) to his version of Heel meet again and Stiletto Heels, for which he will dress appropriately in a Sailor costume, and he will bring the house down by his rendition of Blue Suede Shoes, after which he will throw his blue suede louboutins into the crowd.....

Posted

Designer tells me there really is no such thing as St. Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset. He also told me that articulate doesn't mean anything.

Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!

Posted

Stilettoscot is in St. Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset because he has a delusion that he is GOD. Since he learned to crochet he has been crocheting a "new" world which he hopes to complete in 7 days, including crocheted plants, animals and people. Once his new world is complete he plans to destroy the current one.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Posted

shyguy, not usually known for being mean, has hidden Stilettoscots crochet needle as an act of retribution for Stilettoscot hiding his copy of St. Mildred's Home Daily. (A newspaper.)

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