I've hit a rut

[luxxyheels]

I have no desire right now to wear heels, hose, skirts, dresses, or anything "female". I haven't even shaved my legs in months. I'm on my 3rd month now not wearing anything, and I don't see the feeling coming back anytime soon. I still look at catalogs, shoe websites, and clothing websites, and have fun shopping around, but I just don't have the desire to actually put anything on. I tried to put on my 3 3/4" J. Renee eelskins, and I walked around for a bit, but the novelty of wearing them just wasn't there and I took them off after about 5 minutes and put them away. I'm out of work right now, so you'd think I'd want to do it a bunch, wrong. Again, zero desire to wear. Honestly, I really don't see the desire coming back any time soon, but I'll keep what I have around just in case it does. Anyway, just my rant. Thanks guys

[sendra45]

Hi, I think this sort of thing happens to me and heels, my advice would be to not throw anything out, just put in storage. if and when the urge comes back, get your stuff out again, please dont throw the stuff out, you will regret it. there must be some sort of feeling still there, after all, you came here. Nigel

[Guy N. Heels]

Hi,

I think this sort of thing happens ...my advice would be to not throw anything out, just put in storage.

if and when the urge comes back, get your stuff out again, please dont throw the stuff out, you will regret it. Nigel

We humans are curious creatures. What might be all the rage one day is completely out of the question the following week. This can come about for a variety of reasons: mood swings, weather, current events in our lives, diet, and so on. When you stop to think on it, that's exactly why we dress differently from day to day and don't eat the same things every day. It's perfectly normal. Just relax and go with the flow. But this much you can pretty well depend on - if it excited you once, sooner or later you will find it exciting again.

[xaphod]

Yes, funny that, I'm going through a 'can't be bothered' patch too. When there's lots of guy stuff to do which seems to involve getting dirty and sweaty, then the heels tend to take second place. If I have to go out for provisions in the morning, I can't be bothered to put on a pair of heels and maybe a skirt, if I know I'm going to be welding my other 4wd when I get back home. Xa

[Thighbootguy]

I have had times when I didn’t have the desire to wear boots and stuff but that dosen’t seem to last for me. In fact things seem to swing the other was. I posted a note about that and a few post later iloveboots replied with a very good insight. (recommended reading).

I think nigel has offers good advice about just putting things away for a while. There may be something more than Guy N. Heels suggests. I’m not a biologist enough to define what it is but I suspect our chemical makeup changes subtly from time to time and that influences how we want to present ourselves.

As far as xaphod welding in a skirt and heels... far to many sparks for me.

[whynotheels]

Luxxyheels, Are you sure you wrote that post? Sounds just like me! I'm five and a half months without shaving. It must be over a year since I've worn. I even said good bye to this sight sometime last year. As you can tell, I'm back. Like you I'm just windows shopping. I recommend not debating it too much until you get a job. I was unemployeed for a summer and it messes with your head. Don't know about others, but I enjoy wearing skirts and heels when I'm already feeling good. When I'm already feeling down, I have little interest in doing all the work to put the stuff on. Good luck with the job hunt. Try for an office job with mostly women. I think that's the best chance for being allowed to wear skirts and heels to work. Now, THAT would be awesome!!!

[sscotty727]

I've gone through that same rut before, but it seemed like I hit that when I wore more feminine heels alot. Since I have switched to descrete wedges, I have never had that problem again. Matter of fact, my entire shoe wardrobe is all women's shoes so I don't have any men's shoes at all anymore.

[Shafted]

I honestly can't say I've gone through this rut, myself. I suppose the closest I've ever gotten to a rut is where I am now. I wear my stilettos in public all the time outside of my day job and with more public wearing my private wearing at home has waned. I'm just as likely to be barefoot at home as wearing heels.

[DeSalto]

Luxxyheels Strange things happen to our minds. Feelings go out and come back. So, just don´t throw anything out... DeSalto

[luxxyheels]

Like I said, I'm not going to throw anything out. Oh yeah, I've only been out of work for a couple weeks, and this "rut" hit when I was working and feeling good. Nigel, I still come here because I enjoy reading about other people's adventures. I'm just not here as long or as much as I used to be.

[dr1819]

I see nothing wrong with loosing interest in one thing or another. I used to love watching movies, but that's taken a back seat to writing on the Internet. There was a time shortly after I began wearing heels when it was almost an obsession, but now that I'm in a situation where I can wear heels as often as I want (just not to work), sometimes I'm in heels at home, sometimes I'm in clogs. Last night I went to play darts at one of my favorite bars wearing a dark charcoal, long-sleeved dress shirt, nice jeans, and my 4" taper-heeled kneehigh black leather boots. After standing for about 45 minutes, my feet hurt a little and I wished I'd worn my low-heeled (2.5") blockheeled ankle boots.

[Guy N. Heels]

...Are you sure you wrote that post? Sounds just like me! I'm five and a half months without shaving. It must be over a year since I've worn. I even said good bye to this sight sometime last year. As you can tell, I'm back. Like you I'm just windows shopping...

Welcome back Whynotheels, Don't be a stranger in these parts.

[dr1819]

Guy N. Heels, would you be willing to share some of the reasons why? It might help others learn more about why they wear heels in the first place.

[Dawn HH]

Welcome back, WhyNotHeels. It is good to hear from you again. Maybe this time you will be able to stay with us a while. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[jmc]

There was another discussion on the topic of losing desire for heels here:http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=3490.

I think it happens to all of us, but it is not permanent.

[vector]

Perhaps you're a bit down because you're out of work. Hey, we've all suffered through the rollercoaster of life. Cheer up!! This too will pass.

[Fog]

I must confess I hit a bit of a rut myself; caused amongst other things by observing some really creepy, furtive, pervy looking old men (well, they probably weren't much older than me) browsing the ladies sales racks recently. My instant reaction was OMG how awful, followed by a period of reflection that I must look like that to some people. I daresay I'll get over it.

[dr1819]

I must confess I hit a bit of a rut myself; caused amongst other things by observing some really creepy, furtive, pervy looking old men (well, they probably weren't much older than me) browsing the ladies sales racks recently. My instant reaction was OMG how awful, followed by a period of reflection that I must look like that to some people.

I daresay I'll get over it.

Glad to hear it!

While riding my bicycle Saturday, I stopped by a shoe store that's always got some of the best looking hh shoes, boots, and sandals. It's a local German store. The thing that's always scared me away were the prices (between 100E and 250E).

I walked in, and after furtively looking at the men's shoes until the current customer left, I asked the lady if they carried any larger sizes, and stated my size. Germans are funny - very direct and willing to let you know their opinion, yet fairly open-minded.

She said, "for you?" When I replied, "Yes, please," she responded by saying, "That is different." Then she said, "Just a moment," went into the back to check her stock and when she returned, she said, "I'm sorry, no. But we can get them in larger sizes if you would like."

She then said, "what kind of shoe are you interested in?" and when I showed her a couple of the ones on display, including stacked-heel (about 3.5") lace-up oxford (withOUT the stupid pointy toes... but with a nice toe that looks just like most men's business shoes), a pair of plain, round-toed granny boots with a three-inch riding heel (perfectly concealable under any long pair of pants), and a pair of thick-strappy sandals with adjustable buckles with a 3.5" heel, she said, "You have good taste - all are very good shoes. Well made." She then added, "I will call my suppliers and see if they have any in your size. I'm sure they do. Please come back tomorrow."

Well, that was yesterday, and I forgot to stop by today, so I'll try and remember to do it soon and let you know.

[Guy N. Heels]

Guy N. Heels, would you be willing to share some of the reasons why? It might help others learn more about why they wear heels in the first place.

At the risk of getting overly technical, we humans are governed by our brain functions. And while I am not a physician by any streach of the imagination, there are all kinds of things going on in the brain that absolutely dictate what we think and do. Some people call these things hormones, some call them endorphins and some call them other things. Personally, I don't care if you call 'em Wagi-wagi's, these things do exist and they work in very powerful ways. If you don't believe me, just take a good look at any teenage girl who can't seem to stop giggling. You are witnessing a case of her hormones - or Wagi-wagi's - going out of control.

Well, our emotions, particularly things that involve the ego, play an enormous role in the production of these hormones - Wagi-wagi's - that affect almost everything we do. There have been cases of very capable military leaders being rendered incompetent because of some enormous emotional upset. One example would be Robert E. Lee's reactions immediately after he learned of the death of "Stonewall" Jackson.

Other things that can have an enormous influence would include the weather and one's overall health or diet - all of which will impact the individual's production of hormones or Wagi-wagi's. Then, of course, there will be the "background stuff" like how things are going on the job, local and world affairs, and so-on, that will also have an effect. Moreover, it's not necessarily any one thing, but most often, the cumulative total of all of these influences that determines the kinds of hormones or Wagi-wagi's that our systems are producing and how we react to them.

Now these personal feelings will not orverride or delete one's predisposition to a given activity, i.e. if you like to go boating you most likely will, at least, have a latent desire to go boating. But things may have transpired in such a way that you just don't have any interest in the subject at the moment. For example, I love chocolate to the point of being a chocoholic. But I have seen times when I honestly couldn't get interested in a box of Godivas. In time, the desire for chocolate returned.

So with all of the above as a backdrop, how can wearing heels be any different? It's just another activity that we very complex humans engage in.

[luxxyheels]

Well, I felt like I should wear heels again. So, I tried it. Shaved my legs, donned some of my formerly favorite shoes, hose, pants, and shirt. Put them on, strolled around the house after re-getting used to them, and guess what? I felt nothing. No excitement, no feeling like I had before. I really think I'm done. I have to much other stuff going in my life and this just isn't coming with it. Moving on to bigger and better things so to speak. So, I'll still lurk around here, even post, but I feel my heel wearing days are over. Luxxyheels 1999-2006. I'll be coming on around to watch the adventures of the other guys and gals on here, but I won't be doing it myself anymore. Thanks for your love and support, LH.

[Tom-NL]

Good luck to you, Luxxyheels, and don't be a stranger. Don't throw your stuff away - you might want to use it again later and then regret that.

[tal]

I agree with most. Just pack your stuff away, dont bin it. Been there, done that As you said yourself, you have bigger things comming up in life, and me thinks your focussing on that. But most, if not all, things get normal after some time, you will still come back to your old needs I thought when i would get a serious sportscar i would loose all me feelings for fetishwear/skirts/heels (coz its so silly), but before i knew it, i was cruizing the roads in pvc pants and stilleto heels. Then i thought a very, very nice house would do it..... nope, now i find myself wearing latex jeans with stilleto boots cruizing around in a very fine sportscar, driving to my amazing house Then i thought that if my wife would say she cant live with it anymore, i would ditch it. Needless to say, i'm single again There are times i have less interest, i go out with my gear thinking i'm gone have a great day with my fetish, but find myself at another place and forget about my intentions all together. I surely hope you can realy get away from it, coz for me it has become a major problem in my life. I have accepted it, but still i wish i did not have those feelings.

[Dawn HH]

Luxxyheels:-) What the guys say is right. Those feelings may lay latent for a while, but the urge will still be there and may surface later. Pack your things for storage and hang on to them for later. Pop in here once in a while and let us know how you are. We will all be thinking about you. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Shafted]

Luxxyheels, I agree with the other. Don't throw them away. Alythough you may wish you didn't have the desire to wear them, it will always be with you. Throwing them away will only cost you more in the long run. You'll wind up kicking yourself for throwing away that irreplacable pair.