highheel47 Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 i dont know how to tell people about me wearing high heels. if anyone has an idea or something to tell me please do. I want to wear them in public but i dont know how to. when to. or where to.
Firefox Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 This is very easy to answer and also very easy to do. You just wear them and don't "tell" anyone. The shoes do the talking and telling themsleves without you having to say anything. Simple isn't it? If anyone does happen to ask, having seen them, you just say you like wearing this style as it goes with your clothes or you like being taller/different or whatever other genuine reason you have. By making some excuse or admission, you put the pressure on yourself that you are doing something unusual, and are more likely to face adverse reaction as it is obvious you are not confident, and fishing for approval. By just wearing them, it's enough statement in itself and conveys the mesage much more powerfully than words.
Jaral2 Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 Firefox: One of the things I like from this forum is all these good points to improve being more asertive (sorry for my English). These are good not only for wearing heels but for any other thing I want to do, and I was not brave enough to do. Cheers
asdf174 Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 I agree with Firefox. Wear them and don't tell anyone unless they ask. It's all good. ~Arron.
Dr. Shoe Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 Indeed! There are some that seem to like to ask people for an opinion. When asked everyone is going to say that they're very nice or whatever, regardless of their actual opinion and look around fro the hidden cameras. If we just wander around in them as if it's the most natural thing in the world then we will start to promote it as a viable mens' fashion. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Skirted-UK Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 You don't have to tell anyone, it's none of their business what footwear you like to wear. Don't let other peoples opinions stop you wearing heels. "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave ! " The Eagles, "Hotel California"
Fog Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 I agree, you don't need to tell anyone. What you don't say is it people in general or someone in particular. If you have someone special in your life you have to decide if you're going to keep that big secret from them. In my experience it's much better not to have secrets like that, but I didn't find it easy at first, but it certainly has paid off.
JeffB Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 I second all those opinions. What you wear on your feet is no one's business but your own. Don't worry about what others might say about your shoes, just go ahead and do it. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
azraelle Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 This may not work for high heels, as not all women are enthusiastic about them, but it should work for other items of female clothing: If a girl asks why you are wearing women's clothes, ask her if she likes wearing them. Yes? My reason is the same as yours, then!! "All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived -If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks
PJ Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 I think the best way to overcome apprehension is to prepare yourself for the unknown; that is, identify how the reactions of others will affect your actions and feelings. First of all, you have to determine if it is important to you what others think about you. If you don't care, then just go and do it. If you do care what others think, then proceed to the next paragraph. There are three possible ways people can respond to you; either positively, negatively or indifferently. I don't think we need to worry about the positive and indifferent responses. Let's think about the person who has a negative reaction. It will probably hurt your feelings. So how do you expect to handle this? Will you ignore it? Will you make a facial expression or hand gesture? Will you make a negative reply? Will you engage in an altercation? Will you respond in another manner? Now suppose you knew this person. Would you handle it differently than if the person was a stranger? I honestly believe that if you anticipate and plan ahead, you can learn to minimize if not overcome fear of the unknown. This is something I learned in street survival police training. click .... click .... click .... The sensual sound of stiletto heels on a hard surface.
Jaral2 Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 If we wear our HH in public we must be sure there will be reactions. It also depends how evident or provocative our shoes are. The black boots unther the Jeans could call less atention. Sandals showing red toes is other question. Probably most people will not care, but there could be someone making noise and calling others attention towards us. So I agree we must be ready for the rections. I would try to avoid any discussion, and perhaps I would be sarcastic, rather than explaning. These days is less and less correct to criticise other people clothes, ideas, sex interest etc. In Spanish we use an expresion (Cara dura), "hard face" and this is what I need when doing something unusual.
Bubba136 Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 As has been stated here before, starting with wearing women's shoes that are less noticeable, like these: Or these: or even these: Anyway, you get my point. Wearing less obvious women's shoes will get people used to seeing you in alternative styles that, while are made for women, can be worn by men also. (you get to wear women's shoes while lessening the stress of being ridiculed). Then, as you become more and more used to wearing them in public, you can begin to wear other styles with higher heels. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
SF Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 Highheel47, It's good to know you want to get out in heels. I wish more guys did. I think the best way to "tell" others is to just get out there in the shoes. I have been wearing girls sandals - flats - since I was in my teens - mid 40's now... NEVER has anyone questioned or commented about why I was wearing girls shoes. And I have worn them everywhere, school, job, church, with family etc.... About 6 years ago I beagn to experiment with heels, wearing them in public. I wear sandals with a 2 - 3 inch heel with long pants and really have not had any problems. Very few people smile or laugh among themselves but that never has been a problem. Guys don't seem to notice shoes, mostly it is the gals who notice. A few have even complimented me on my heels!! Also, what you wear would make a big difference in how folks react. If you wear red plats with a 6 inch heel and shorts I would imagine you would draw more reaction than wearing long pants and a sandal with a 2 inch block heel !!! With the heels tho I do find that I am a bit more careful where I go. When out of town I wear them freely, when in my hometown I still wear the heels but am a bit more careful about where and when - but I am getting a lot more bolder as time goes by and I get more comfortable. Many of my friends and in-laws know I wear heels (my mother in law said they look nice - father in law asked if I was a TV - I'm not), I am just not sure about running across folks that I work with. If you want to tell anyone, maybe let your wife or gf know about your desire to wear heels. I told my wife before we were married - when I was still wearing flats - and she is OK with it. The heels too!! Good luck in your heel adventures!!! SF "Why should girls have all the fun!!"
Arctic Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 About wearing heels... There really is no better advice than "just do it". Think about it: you're doing nothing bad, nothing wrong, nothing that influences anybody else's life, nothing that impacts anybody's happiness, nor anything illegal. In most countries, your freedom to do what you want without doing any harm to anybody is guaranteed by the constitution. If you for example have never eaten a piece of apple pie before and you want to give it a try today, why would you need to seek approval from your surroundings first? Think things over, convince yourself that it's ok to do this, relax yourself and go for it. You'll never turn back. Good luck. What's all the fuss about?
dressboots Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 I agree with bubba's approach. People one knows have developed an image of you. Changes in that image may make them uncomfortable. Appraoch changes gently and it will minimize their discomfort and enhance their accptance. classic style high heel boots
genebujold Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 Is this the same thread as another? I replied to this already and saw my reply! Where did it go? My reply: "Excuse me, but those are lovely shoes you're wearing. May I have a closer look?" Spend no more than three seconds before saying, "My, they are exquisite! I'd like to buy a pair for my wife/girlfriend. Where did you find them?"
J-Nation Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 Is this the same thread as another? I replied to this already and saw my reply! Where did it go? nope, not the same thread - the other one you posted in was "Gals: What if a guy asks where you got your shoes??" which makes more sense of your answer than this one "What shoud i do about telling people?" Emma
raponchigo Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 This may not work for high heels, as not all women are enthusiastic about them, but it should work for other items of female clothing: If a girl asks why you are wearing women's clothes, ask her if she likes wearing them. Yes? My reason is the same as yours, then!! Wow!! That's smart!!!! You're full of wisdom... Cheers! Just Love High Heels...
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