Reactions have been...?

[Gige]

Hi All;

This question builds on another semi-active thread but with a different theme of sorts. My question is, if you have encountered another man in heels, have you complimented him and if so, what was the response?

The Backstory...

Yesterday, I was grocery shopping and as I was exiting, I noticed a young man, maybe in his early 20's, dressed in a cropped tank top, mini-pleated skirt, black leggings, and a pair of black, faux leather knee high boots with a relatively small heel. For those old enough to remember, it reminded me of an outfit from an early Madonna video - not that there is anything wrong with this, it's just where I mind placed it). As I walked by him, I was absolutely delighted by the sight of another man visibly wearing heels in public said, "Great outfit!!" He offered a slight smile, a slight nod of his head, and muttered a hardly audible "Thank you." I really wanted to engage this person to let him know that I, too, wear heels in public, but due to that fact it was rather warm in my part of the world, was not wearing such for the sole reason of keeping cool.  I then complimented him on his boots which drew even less of a response. Seeing that he was more interested in looking at his phone and appeared to be waiting for someone else, I moved on and left the store. This was the first time I have ever encountered another male in heels outside of a drag show. 

Thanks!

G

 

[mlroseplant]

Nope, nope, nope, nope. You gotta let it go. Do not approach either man or woman in heels and expect to talk. Women are allowed to do this and get by with it. We are not. It's just the way of the world. MAYBE if you're actually wearing heels yourself, and discernible heels (in other words, you'd better be wearing something 3 inch or higher), you get to compliment and walk away. Otherwise, you're just a creep. I've been on the giving and receiving end of that situation. Sorry if I seem a little harsh, but this is a hard and fast rule.

[Bubba136]

Over the years that I have been wearing my girls shoes in public, almost all of these infrequent inquiries have been made by women.  My wife used to handle them without any comment from me.  As for seeing other men wearing girls shoes, I can count on one hand the number of times that I have seen another man wearing female footwear.  Then, mostly flat sandals here at the beach.  

[Gige]

3 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

Nope, nope, nope, nope. You gotta let it go. Do not approach either man or woman in heels and expect to talk. Women are allowed to do this and get by with it. We are not. It's just the way of the world. MAYBE if you're actually wearing heels yourself, and discernible heels (in other words, you'd better be wearing something 3 inch or higher), you get to compliment and walk away. Otherwise, you're just a creep. I've been on the giving and receiving end of that situation. Sorry if I seem a little harsh, but this is a hard and fast rule.

Sadly, I am learning this the hard way.  Whenever someone compliments me on my heels, outfit, or color of my nails, I always stop and cheerfully acknowledge it because I truly do appreciate it. I do not mind briefly speaking to that person as it has led to many positive encounters, which, not to get up on my soapbox, I hope makes for a better world.  Sometimes my compliments to another have been met with enthusiasm but other times with only a simple thank you and nothing more. Due to this and a few other recent developments in my life, I have come to the conclusion that trying to nice, polite, and helpful are vices rather than virtues. I know this is a horribly cynical disposition but it is the reality of today's society.  Why this is, however, is for another forum. 

[pebblesf]

15 hours ago, Gige said:

Hi All;

This question builds on another semi-active thread but with a different theme of sorts. My question is, if you have encountered another man in heels, have you complimented him and if so, what was the response?

The Backstory...

Yesterday, I was grocery shopping and as I was exiting, I noticed a young man, maybe in his early 20's, dressed in a cropped tank top, mini-pleated skirt, black leggings, and a pair of black, faux leather knee high boots with a relatively small heel. For those old enough to remember, it reminded me of an outfit from an early Madonna video - not that there is anything wrong with this, it's just where I mind placed it). As I walked by him, I was absolutely delighted by the sight of another man visibly wearing heels in public said, "Great outfit!!" He offered a slight smile, a slight nod of his head, and muttered a hardly audible "Thank you." I really wanted to engage this person to let him know that I, too, wear heels in public, but due to that fact it was rather warm in my part of the world, was not wearing such for the sole reason of keeping cool.  I then complimented him on his boots which drew even less of a response. Seeing that he was more interested in looking at his phone and appeared to be waiting for someone else, I moved on and left the store. This was the first time I have ever encountered another male in heels outside of a drag show. 

Thanks!

G

 

OK, well I can relate this to situations where I was the one getting the compliments on my boots.  And, am afraid to admit, I was like a deer in the headlights, and ended up giving the same short/cold responses you encountered.  Now that I have gained a little more confidence and courage, I love conversing with others when they compliment me.  I oftentimes get the short responses you describe when I compliment a guy/gal in boots, but now understand why..

[Cali]

As a man who (almost) always has his nails colored and in heels, it depends on the situation. I do compliment women on their heels, but it usually just "nice heels." If she responds about mine, we might have a short conversation. With members of the unofficial ‘high heel club’, we usually only flash our heels at each other.

I damaged my fingernails, as a result I need acrylic nails with a gel cover. For the last 8 years, I have used gel with color.  The material scientist in me is fascinated by all the different applications. Since I have a professional job with colored fingernails, it is imperative that they are exquisite. I get compliments all the time from men and women. I usually just say "thank you" and move on, but when a cashier comments on my nails, that usually leads to a longer conversation. It’s also interesting how many men have told me they wished they could color their nails.

[Shyheels]

On 5/13/2024 at 10:51 AM, mlroseplant said:

Nope, nope, nope, nope. You gotta let it go. Do not approach either man or woman in heels and expect to talk. Women are allowed to do this and get by with it. We are not. It's just the way of the world. MAYBE if you're actually wearing heels yourself, and discernible heels (in other words, you'd better be wearing something 3 inch or higher), you get to compliment and walk away. Otherwise, you're just a creep. I've been on the giving and receiving end of that situation. Sorry if I seem a little harsh, but this is a hard and fast rule.

Totally agree. You just can’t 

[pebblesf]

On 5/22/2024 at 5:27 PM, Shyheels said:

Totally agree. You just can’t 

Unfortunately, this seems to be the case.  Most times, when I compliment a guy in heels, I am usually working and only wearing my regulation cowboy boots.  Nine times out of ten, the response is a very muted "thanks", with no interest in further conversation.  I "get it" and understand, my compliment could be interpreted as "creepy", the guys are probably not interested in drawing any attention to themselves, especially from this old fart.   So, for me, I still compliment guys in heels, but have no expectations of any response and am not upset by it....

[Shyheels]

After having received virtually no notice or comments about my boots, I received two comments in the past week - and both times with the same pair of low-heeled knee boots that I wear routinely around the locks and towpaths. I got into conversation  with a couple of dog walkers at a towpath cafe who remarked on them, in broadly complimentary fashion, asked me if they were riding boots (they're not) with the wife adding in a kind of leading way - "you know, a woman could wear those ..."  to which I responded "Anybody can!"

The other was a rather jovial guy, in a fairly well lubricated social situation, who asked if I was off to a Freddie Mercury tribute show, to which I responded by saying, "No, I usually wear heels to those .."

Odd that it should be these that caused comment as I am very often in skinny jeans with chunky heeled ankle boots with 3.5" heels - very visible - and nary a word. 

[pebblesf]

20 hours ago, Shyheels said:

After having received virtually no notice or comments about my boots, I received two comments in the past week - and both times with the same pair of low-heeled knee boots that I wear routinely around the locks and towpaths. I got into conversation  with a couple of dog walkers at a towpath cafe who remarked on them, in broadly complimentary fashion, asked me if they were riding boots (they're not) with the wife adding in a kind of leading way - "you know, a woman could wear those ..."  to which I responded "Anybody can!"

The other was a rather jovial guy, in a fairly well lubricated social situation, who asked if I was off to a Freddie Mercury tribute show, to which I responded by saying, "No, I usually wear heels to those .."

Odd that it should be these that caused comment as I am very often in skinny jeans with chunky heeled ankle boots with 3.5" heels - very visible - and nary a word. 

Love it!  Great reply to the jovial guy!