Schadenfreude (pleasure we get from other's misfortunes)

[Heike]

It's 6:15, the alarm will be going off in about 15 minutes. But I'm already awake, my husband had to leave earlier than normal for work, so I start my day. Once I'm on my feet, I light a cigarette, just like I do every morning. Then I find my way to the kitchen, park the lit cigarette between my lips, and prepare the coffee, just like I do every day. But, SHIT! I forgot to get coffee yesterday. Cigarettes and coffee are two things I never run out of. What am I going to do?

It's early, I don't have to be anywhere in particular today. Julie, my sister, visiting from Germany, is not yet awake, so I leave her a note on her nightstand that I'll be back by 7:30. Normally, when I leave the house, I'm in a dress, hose, and pumps, with proper make-up, but for my excursion to the corner coffee shop, I settle for jeans, a T-shirt, and ballet flats. I brush my hair, run some lipstick over my lips, grab my keys, my wallet, my cigarettes, and my lighter, and head for the car and that corner coffee shop.

Once I'm there, I order three coffees; one for now, the other two to go (one for me, one for Petra), and I'll be back for them in about 10 minutes. I find a table on the outdoor terrace; this coffee shop I like, because it's one of the few left that allows smoking outside, unlike Starbucks. I sip my coffee, and enjoy the heavenly feeling of caffeine finally hitting my veins. Which is a trigger for another cigarette, of course. Then "she" walked up to the counter.

She would have been 5'10" barefoot. But, she was wearing at least six-inch open-toe stiletto heels, without platforms, yet with perfect poise. I was immediately so jealous! The narrow high heels complemented the suntanned and blemish-free legs and above-the-knee skirt perfectly, which wrapped around an hourglass figure. The toenails, along with the extremely long fingernails, were a bright maroon that matched her lipstick. Her make-up and below-the-shoulder dark blonde hair were absolutely perfect. Why can't I look like that? Hell, I'm 64, but why couldn't I have looked like that when I was 24?

I angrily dragged on my cigarette. That got me to thinking about the old Virginia Slims ads from the 80's and 90's. This would have been the perfect Virginia Slims girl. Then I looked at my pack of cigarettes laying on the table. Virginia Slims 120's. I sometimes buy a single pack of them with a carton of my beloved Marlboro reds 100's. Many say the VS's look more glamorous, but glamour had nothing to do with me getting a pack now and then; hey, they did absolutely nothing for my own glamour! I crushed out my cigarette, and got ready to head for the counter to get my other two coffees; the rest of this coffee I can drink in the car. I've had enough, I don't need to be here.

Once she got her coffee, she chose a table in the opposite corner where I was sitting. I guess cigarette smoke bothers her. Good! How I envied her walk in her heels; she strutted around every bit as confidently and easily as if she were barefoot. As she got to her table, it happened. The stiletto heel snapped from the rest of the shoe, and "she" was on the ground, with her coffee all over her sun dress.

It was all I could do to conceal the ear-to-ear smile that I had!

I sat back down and lit another cigarette. "She" disappeared to the ladie's room; I decided I could wait, and see what came out. Once she did come out, she had "humble" written all over her face. She was carrying her heels by the slingbacks in one hand, her car keys in the other, as she headed for the parking lot. With a huge coffee stain on her dress. And she was wearing a pair of roll-up flats that she obviously had in her purse.

"She" was gone.

I got up, left my burning cigarette in the ashtray for a minute so I wouldn't be guilty of violating our state's 25-feet law, fetched my other two coffees, came back for my cigarette, and headed for the car myself. What a lovely way to start the day!

[Jkrenzer]

You are a bit cruel, I love it.

Have to admit, as a guy in heels, alas heavier than some American women, i have often wondered how awkward it would be should I break a heel.

So far this has only happened at home, but more than once in a pair of stilettos I have worn out and about. Tough enough to be a regular guy who just happens to be in stiletto heels, the shame it would draw if one broke while strutting around. 

[CAT]

Very true.  I have yet to break one but that would not be good just as you said it.  

[mlroseplant]

I haven't had a heel break on me in public, but I have had a situation recently, detailed elsewhere on this forum, where I lost a heel tip and had to remove my shoes and walk barefoot for about a half mile to get back home to avoid ruining my shoes. I survived the incident, and the shoes were repaired successfully. Although no one paid me any heed, I did have a subconscious need to explain to passers-by what happened. 

[Pierre1961]

It happened to me one an half year ago. Landing in Beijing. Heading to the immigration control,walking as fast as I could in order to arrive  before  the herd. I started to notice some weakness in the right heel. Then it suddenly broke. I had to stop and change for the sneakers I fortunately had in the back pack. But what a shame. So many people saw me,probably mainy had laughed and I reached the immigration at the worse moment..

Bad feeling,but some,good lessons: never buy shit Chinese shoes for outside uses ,learn  how to walk properly,never rush with high heels,don't give a damn to what other could think. 

Pierre 

[jeremy1986]

Yes this can happen to anyone and thank God it doesn't happen often...  

But to be honest I would Glee at it happening to someone else. One would certainly have some issues to work out if that was the case.

[pebblesf]

Fortunately, I have never experienced a broken heel, but have lost a heel tip or two while out and about...Don't know how I would handle it, guess I would just have to remove my boots and walk back in my socks....