Curt Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Any of you tell your parents about your heel fetish? My parents know about my 70s platform and chunky boots obsession. I don't wear stilletos because I have bad ankles from running track, and have to stabibility with a tiny spike. Just interested what parents or close friends would think. Although, I'm so much into high fashion that I would wear whatever I want. I wear chunky boots every day and don't think its out of the norm to dress that way. Just me.
Shafted Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Heel fetish? Why do you assume people here have a heel fetish? I wear stiletto heels all the time. Why does it have to be a fetish? I think you'll find for most here it definitely is not a fetish. If you're looking to discussing heel fetishes here, you've come to the wrong place. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
Curt Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Sorry to offend you. Anything you do out of the norm all the is a fetish. I do it too. How do you define a fetish? You didn't even answer my question in the post.
Rick24 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 my parents are to thick headed don't listen to me so it is none of there own.
HHeeler Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) Men in heels. In fairness, I would imagine guys come from many different psychological and fashion directions to get here. Fetish is certainly one of them, although to paint all the men here with a fetish is probably wrong. Certainly not a fetish site. Edited June 21, 2012 by HHeeler
Shafted Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Sorry to offend you. Anything you do out of the norm all the is a fetish. I do it too. How do you define a fetish? You didn't even answer my question in the post. Don't worry. I have thick skin. The thing is the word fetish implys it's a sexual thing. To this day I still haven't told my parents. I don't intend to, but I'm also not going to worry that they might find out and plan my heel wearing accordingly in order to minimize the risk of being found out. Many people who know my parents know and have even seen me wearing heels. I just don't sweat it. If they find out they find out. I'll deal with it when the time comes. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
roniheels Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 My parents weren't happy about me wearing high heels, especially when they caught me wearing a pair of my Mom's high heels. But, as I told them, this is me, and accept me as I am.
FreshinHeels Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I wish I had the choice to tell my parents. My father died 4 years ago and mother 2 1/2 weeks ago. That said I would not have told them they were too old and wouldn't have understood. Being parent myself of 2 sons I hope they know that they can turn to me for matters as these. With rest of the family I just started being around them in heels. Got questions offcourse , I told cause I like it and that's it end off questions. In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out
Curt Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Maybe I don't know the meaning of the word fetish. For me its a normal thing to wear heels. So its a style and not a fetish. I'm new to this site so ill try not to be igronant in the furure. Happy heeling!
Steve63130 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 (edited) This is a communications issue. The word fetish has several meanings. Bootcat, you use it as in #2 below, meaning devotion or fixation. Shafted objected because his definition was #3 below, a sexual or erotic object. You're both right, but you're not on the same page. Hope that helps. 1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency. 2.any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades. 3.Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation. Steve Edited June 22, 2012 by Steve63130
Shafted Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Unfortunately the world at large seems to prefer definition number 3. That's exactly what the community of heel wearing men don't need. This is exactly the stigma which heel wearing men would like to do away with. We just want to be able to wear our beautiful shoes without the world thinking we are some kind of pervert. It doesn't really matter to me but to some it does. As we are trying to get across here, this is a high heels fashion forum not a high heels fetish forum. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
heelguy Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 My parents both know, my mother is accepting of it and so is her husband and both applaud me for being true to myself and others. My father on the other hand although says he still accepts me for it, I feel that he is embarrassed that he has a son who wears girls shoes and clothes. That's my situation!
Steve63130 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Shafted, good point, well stated. I agree with you totally. The guys on the Legwear as Unisex Fashion are up against the same situation and face the same challenges with regard to men wearing legwear (tights, pantyhose, and stockings). The world just assumes "fetish!" or "gay!" but that's usually not the case at all. Heelguy, you need to be yourself and you also need to be sensitive to the feelings of others. You can do both. They aren't mutually exclusive. When you're with your father, wear more masculine types of girls' clothes and shoes so you're not flaunting your preferences in front of him. He'll be more at ease and you'll have a better relationship. You've probably already figured this out, I hope. Maybe we can meet up next time I get to Melbourne. I was there in November, but just briefly overnight. Hope to get back, maybe in 2013. We have friends there and in Bendigo. Steve
LiveAndLearn Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 My parents both know, my mother is accepting of it and so is her husband and both applaud me for being true to myself and others. My father on the other hand although says he still accepts me for it, I feel that he is embarrassed that he has a son who wears girls shoes and clothes. That's my situation! While my parents still remain mostly unaware of my heel wearing, I think my situation would be similar. My mother would probably be very accepting of it, but my father would accept it but it would effect our relationship a lot, simply because I am a guy in heels. I already wear makeup and girls acessories a lot, and I get comments from my parents for it a lot, but I think heels are a bit different. Nevertheless, I still dont plan to tell my parents anytime soon, unless they see them around or see me going out in them, then I guess it's a different story. What Other People Think Of Me, Ain't None Of My Buisness ~ RuPaul
Steve63130 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 LiveAndLearn, A lot depends on how old you are and whether you are living by yourself or living with your parents. If you are a minor, living at your parents' home, you are still expected to respect your parents and whatever rules they set. If you are of age and have moved out of their home and support yourself, you no longer need to live by their rules, but you should still respect your parents and their values when you are with them. You should have a talk with them about your interest in wearing heels. You may be fretting over nothing. Perhaps they're more liberal than you think. If they grew up in the 70s, ask them what kinds of funny clothes and shoes THEY wore back then! They were once your age, and might be much more tolerant of fashion deviations than you expect. Communicate and find some common ground that lets you expand your envelope so you can wear heels comfortably with them. You never know... Steve
LiveAndLearn Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 LiveAndLearn, A lot depends on how old you are and whether you are living by yourself or living with your parents. If you are a minor, living at your parents' home, you are still expected to respect your parents and whatever rules they set. If you are of age and have moved out of their home and support yourself, you no longer need to live by their rules, but you should still respect your parents and their values when you are with them. You should have a talk with them about your interest in wearing heels. You may be fretting over nothing. Perhaps they're more liberal than you think. If they grew up in the 70s, ask them what kinds of funny clothes and shoes THEY wore back then! They were once your age, and might be much more tolerant of fashion deviations than you expect. Communicate and find some common ground that lets you expand your envelope so you can wear heels comfortably with them. You never know... Steve Steve, While this maybe true, I still dont feel confident in myself to bring it up with them yet, it's not just my mother and father, once they know, my mother will proceed to tell the whole family about it, even if I ask her not to. In regards to the whole "what kinds of clothes they wore back in the 70's" thing, my mother could relate, she had a whole collection of shoes with mega paltforms on them, she even fell down some stairs and broke her ankle on multipule occasions because of her platform boots, I think she told me she had 6 inch platformed boots at one point. So like I said before, she wouldn't mind as much. My father has always been, and will always be, the mans man, I don't see him disowning me for this, I see him still loving me, but I just see it effecting our relationship a lot. Me being gay has been a journy for him and I feel as if we're just starting to get over that whole fiasco, I wouldn't want to start something else with them just to annoy them futhur. And at the moment I live with my parents yes, i'm 19 and go to university, and until I finish I doubt I will be moving out anytime soon. It all comes down to me, I suspect they already know, parents have a way with these things after all. It's just a topic I would rather aviod until I have moved out, or at least until I wear heels out in public more. With me only having one public event and a handfull of party events with me wearing heels under my belt, it's hardly like it's a daily occurance, and it's best not to "burden" them with this if you will, until im more confident in myself to be wearing them more. What Other People Think Of Me, Ain't None Of My Buisness ~ RuPaul
SleekHeels Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I wish I had the choice to tell my parents. My father died 4 years ago and mother 2 1/2 weeks ago. That said I would not have told them they were too old and wouldn't have understood. Being parent myself of 2 sons I hope they know that they can turn to me for matters as these. With rest of the family I just started being around them in heels. Got questions offcourse , I told cause I like it and that's it end off questions. My condolences for your loss FreshinHeels. It sounds like you did the right thing not telling your parents if you felt it would be too much of a culture shock for them. Sure that might be different for other people. The progress comes from the fact that you've reflected on that and chosen to shape your relationship with your sons in a new way and that's really admirable. If you like it, wear it.
ilikekicks Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Im fortunate enough to still have my biological Mother and a Step-Father. Since I was ' young ', they have known I havent been into ' trends ' and always stood outside the box. Their ' discovery ' was myself stopping by their house one day to look at their kitchen ceiling ( water damage ) and my mother saying ' you look taller '. I laughed and told her ' its the boots '. She looked down at my feet and stated ' Those look nice, how do they fit/feel? '. Step father couldnt care less and asked to borrow some recording equipment and a date on when I could fix their plumbing/ceiling.. I guess they are too laid back or they realize theres nothing wrong with me wearing what I feel comfortable in. REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.
Guest Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 well, it all really depends on how the family in question has been "brought up" so to speak with these kinds of values some are OK with others just are not (every family is different is what I'm really trying to say)
heelguy Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Heelguy, you need to be yourself and you also need to be sensitive to the feelings of others. You can do both. They aren't mutually exclusive. When you're with your father, wear more masculine types of girls' clothes and shoes so you're not flaunting your preferences in front of him. He'll be more at ease and you'll have a better relationship. You've probably already figured this out, I hope. Maybe we can meet up next time I get to Melbourne. I was there in November, but just briefly overnight. Hope to get back, maybe in 2013. We have friends there and in Bendigo. Steve Steve, although my father knows about the way I like to dress, he hasn't even actually yet seen me wearing any of it. He just requested that I stop my facebook activity to do with it, and said people were questioning him about it. When I asked who it was that was questioning him that he wasn't comfortable with answering, he mentioned 2 people that I already know FOR A FACT that they know all about me, because they've been straight up told by his fiance and by me personally and have known for quite a while now. So he was basically saying that he feels embarrassed when he see's me liking stuff on there. I solved that problem for him by deleting him as one of my friends I'm pretty much at the stage now where i'm saying "okay, this is me, have your laughs, have your jokes, have your chats and conversations, but if you really can't handle it, see you later! This is me " Telling my parents I think definitely helped me get to this stage instead of hiding my personality away like a dirty secret
Berg Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) I'm pretty much at the stage now where i'm saying "okay, this is me, have your laughs, have your jokes, have your chats and conversations, but if you really can't handle it, see you later! This is me " Good on ya mate. Edited June 23, 2012 by Berg
Alexis Hill Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 My mom knows and accepts but doesn't approve. I asked her straight out would she mind if I wore heels around her and she told please don't.
hhl4vr Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I only have my mother left and she does not know and I'm not sure she would handle the news all that well.
heelguy Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Well just an update on my previous post in this thread. I was chatting with my dad the other day and he came out with "I know you have your issues, but I still love you" to which I replied... "I don't have issues, YOU have issues with me" I've taken a massive stand in sticking 1 big finger up to everyone who doesn't like me for who I am, and i'm opening my arms up wide to everybody who does! After a complete admission openly on Facebook about who I am, I have had many people message me saying how inspiring they think I am and how proud of me they are. And so far, nobody has said a bad thing to me about it Seriously guys come on, be yourselves! stop caring about others and live your life the way makes you happy! Also if you want acceptance in your heels then you're going to have to show people you don't care what they think of you in them!
LiveAndLearn Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Well just an update on my previous post in this thread. I was chatting with my dad the other day and he came out with "I know you have your issues, but I still love you" to which I replied... "I don't have issues, YOU have issues with me" I've taken a massive stand in sticking 1 big finger up to everyone who doesn't like me for who I am, and i'm opening my arms up wide to everybody who does! After a complete admission openly on Facebook about who I am, I have had many people message me saying how inspiring they think I am and how proud of me they are. And so far, nobody has said a bad thing to me about it Seriously guys come on, be yourselves! stop caring about others and live your life the way makes you happy! Also if you want acceptance in your heels then you're going to have to show people you don't care what they think of you in them! Wel done, i'm happy for you. It sounds like our dads would be similar. The "I know you have your issues" line when I was reading it shocked me, and i'd probably have the same reaction you did. But at the same time, speaking from what I can see my father reacting like, I guess it would show at least some compassion, so while i'd be angry at that line, I guess i'd also appreciate the at least half-compliment / understanding he was showing. All my friends know about my heel loving, well most anyway, it's not something I hide from my friends, family is just a different matter to me I guess. Nevertheless, I am happy for you and I hope you have many good times in heels and the like with your friends! We want to hear all about it! What Other People Think Of Me, Ain't None Of My Buisness ~ RuPaul
jarod81 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Well just an update on my previous post in this thread. I was chatting with my dad the other day and he came out with "I know you have your issues, but I still love you" to which I replied... "I don't have issues, YOU have issues with me" I've taken a massive stand in sticking 1 big finger up to everyone who doesn't like me for who I am, and i'm opening my arms up wide to everybody who does! After a complete admission openly on Facebook about who I am, I have had many people message me saying how inspiring they think I am and how proud of me they are. And so far, nobody has said a bad thing to me about it Seriously guys come on, be yourselves! stop caring about others and live your life the way makes you happy! Also if you want acceptance in your heels then you're going to have to show people you don't care what they think of you in them! I for one totally agree with you, who cares what other people think or say live your life your way. But one thing I have learned is that if you don't accept yourself for who you are than how do you expect others to accept you. I remember when I told my parents. my mum was really good with it and she told my dad for me. At first he was a little uncomfortable with it but now is totally ok with it. As posted in another thread my fiancee is ok with ot all now and there a re a few people at work that know and friend who know and I must say i feel so much happier just wear the clothes i want and my heels.
Guest Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 My blood parents are now passed, My mum knew during her last year or two, her initial comment was "you always had high aches". I normally stayed in boots or a loafer style. Stepfather (of 85) comments "you've grown again" they both classed it as normal to my face. Chris's parents know I did Rocky and what I wore. Chris's ex inlaws (of which we are closer to) accept although stilettos are banned for both of us. Within that family two of the local (2 of 4) sons and wives also are in the know, the younger wife often asks anything new? and the older has the attitude get on and do it, "what ever honey and sod the rest" is her motto. My ex and the kids know and apart from a title of "you're weird" all accept. Al
Steve63130 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Eh, "weird" is in the eye of the beholder. I would substitute the word "pioneer." Steve
chris100575 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 My mum and stepdad don't know, but that's mostly because I've never found a convenient way to bring it up, and because they live so far away I don't see them often. My cousins both know and we try on each other's heels, my aunt knows and doesn't care, and my uncle pretends not to know. My aunt's my mum's sister and they're very alike, so I don't think my mum would care either. I'm not sure about my dad, but not having seen or heard from him in a year I don't think it'll come up anytime soon.
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