Any women here want their guys in heels?

[highheeltrained]

Do any the women here want their guy to wear high heels or any guys here wear heels because their girl wants them to? My fairly new girlfriend has been wearing 4 to 5.5 inch heels 24/7, trying to become perm and working up to 6 inch heels but she also wants me to wear tall high heel boots all the time with at least 5 inch heels. Especially leather thigh high ones over top of tight jeans. She thinks I look hot in them plus it keeps me taller then her when shes in her heels. She also prefers both of us to be in stilettos rather then thicker heels and non-platforms also

[CassieJ]

My wife like me in heels too. She wants me to wear them everywhere out in public. She bought me an awesome pair of Charles David heels today with a 5" heel and 1" platform. 4 wide straps with buckles cross the foot with one strap running up the center to a 4th wide strap around the ankle. They are really hot.

[Thighboots2]

HHT, Nice, if that is what she wants for both herself and you, and it co-incides with your wishes, then go for it. Sounds like David and Cathy (aka iloveboots) in Canada. Simon

[Cuban Nicky]

My partner , who normally wears 4" or5" stilletos likes me to wear the same so that I'm stilltaller than her. But not in the street - she's still getting used to the reactions we get

[johnieheel]

My wife loves me in heels and insists I wear them when we go out so we are the same hight or I'm a little taller. She usually picks the heels for me to wear. Go 4 it!

[zebra heels]

you are lucky my friend. my girlfriend doesnt wear high heels because she doesnt like to be too tall:cry1: but i would love for her to buy more heels and make me wear them.

[johnieheel]

you are lucky my friend. my girlfriend doesnt wear high heels because she doesnt like to be too tall:cry1: but i would love for her to buy more heels and make me wear them.

Have you talked with her about this?

[Pascal]

you are lucky my friend. my girlfriend doesnt wear high heels because she doesnt like to be too tall:cry1: but i would love for her to buy more heels and make me wear them.

How tall is she?

[jwhite44]

...She also prefers both of us to be in stilettos rather then thicker heels and non-platforms also

Definitely calls out for a picture of the two of you side by side.

[pata]

Honestly, I am pretty sure, women actually do not like men in heels (nor men like men in heels). It is not about correctness, intolerance or what ever, it´s just because people tend not to like things they are not used to. They might see it with a positive curiousity when coming across a male high heels wearer on the street but feeling quite awkward if the own hubby would say he enjoys wearing them. still, if she loves you, she will accept that and may be even start enjoying it with you too. also, if one has male friends who wear high heels, one would be more indifferent about that. it´s all about getting used to something. Pretty sure- if more men would dare,let´s say the first 5 years would be hard - but after that would be normal and discussed without prejudices like it is about *women* shoes now.

[benno]

Before we started our relationship, I told my girlfriend that I had a more flamboyant side to me than most people. I have never just been into high heels. For me it's always been more about the whole look. Shoes are just a part of that look that I sometimes go for. She completely understood and obviously had no problem with it. Now she buys me cool clothes and shoes for birthdays and Christmas or sometimes when she just feels like it. I got some amazing heels and red Chanel nail varnish as part of my Christmas gifts. I'm sure that before we started seeing each other if someone had asked her about men wearing heels she would have said 'it's fine but not for me'. We had the classic been together for a couple of years conversation that goes along the lines of 'What do you like most about me?' One of the things she said was that I looked better and walked better that most women in high heels. Much of the time I'm a regular, if slightly oddball, dresser. I wear some outfits that are entirely comprised of male clothes that raise a few smiles and comments. So for me to then go full on and wear some crazy outfits... I guess people are ready for it and even kinda expect it from me. I have had friends that see me at parties or on wild nights out and ask why I'm not wearing heels and eyeliner. No one has ever said anything negative, only positives. I don't even know if there's a point to my post.

[missbottes]

My wife like me in heels too. She wants me to wear them everywhere out in public. She bought me an awesome pair of Charles David heels today with a 5" heel and 1" platform. 4 wide straps with buckles cross the foot with one strap running up the center to a 4th wide strap around the ankle. They are really hot.

not me.....men should look at me, not him....i have my "wheapons" he have his

[mikeheel]

Interesting reading this thread.. I have found, lately, that because I wear heels nearly all the time people are dissapointed if I do not wear them. The men that know me are a little reserved about it, they come around in the end when they realise how comfortable most of the women are about it. If I turn up at a party without heels I have known men and women say they had been looking forward to seeing the heels I had chosen. I have had them tell friends to 'look out for my heels' and then I let them down !! So I really HAVE to wear them in a way...at least until it becomes more common for other men to wear them and this is starting to happen. My girlfriends now EXPECT and DEMAND it !! M

[70s4ever]

I second that Mikeheel; my friends and relatives feel quite let down if I am not wearing a pair of 5 inch cuban heels; however the other day when in southern Spain a mate of mine did say " you are never going out in those" ; referring to my red and yellow 7 inch platform western boots. Meanwhile his wife was full of encouragment. Pleased to say, she won the day!

[Loren43]

My wife like me in heels too. She wants me to wear them everywhere out in public. She bought me an awesome pair of Charles David heels today with a 5" heel and 1" platform. 4 wide straps with buckles cross the foot with one strap running up the center to a 4th wide strap around the ankle. They are really hot.

My question is: if you wear high heels in public, do you also dress as a female, wear makeup, etc.? You don't dress as a guy, do you? I would think that would be a problem. Curious. Thanks, loren43

[Amanda]

Of course I'm not prejudiced against guys who wear heels. I would be long gone from here if that was the case. I don't have a guy who is a permanent fixture in my life but if I did I would not be encouraging him to wear heels for the following reasons: 1. I would not wish to be accompanied in public by someone who was likely to be ridiculed. 2. The idea/image of a guy wearing heels is not something I'm drawn to. 3. I imagine life would generally become a bit more complicated without any benefit to myself.

[raymond.nl]

1. I would not wish to be accompanied in public by someone who was likely to be ridiculed.

Amanda! I had not expected this from you. Truth is that most men (and women) think men in heels will be ridiculed. When asking someone about men in heels they think it is silly. But when faced with a man in heels it's hardly ever a big deal.

I have been wearing heels for a few months now and have only had positive comments (some very positive) and neutral remarks (two, I think). I'd say the likelyhood of "ridiculisation" is extremely low.

[Amanda]

I would say that acceptability depends entirely on the status of the social or professional spheres you're moving in.

Also the extent to which a lack of acceptability may effect your life.

Amanda! I had not expected this from you. Truth is that most men (and women) think men in heels will be ridiculed. When asking someone about men in heels they think it is silly. But when faced with a man in heels it's hardly ever a big deal.

I have been wearing heels for a few months now and have only had positive comments (some very positive) and neutral remarks (two, I think). I'd say the likelyhood of "ridiculisation" is extremely low.

[Thighboots2]

Amanda, Can you help define the term "heels" in terms of acceptability to you as our representative female (yup, I'm asking you to speak for all womankind here). I ask becuase you are open minded and present reasonable arguements as to why you wouldn't encourage a partner to wear "heels". Indeed are there "heels" that are acceptable? Simon.

[Amanda]

Hello Simon,

Heels that would be deemed unacceptable attire for a man in my circle would be of a feminine style. With a tall and slender heel. Delicate and elegant.

If I had a partner whom I loved, who was passionate about wearing heels then I may not encourage him to wear them in public but I would never shun him for it nor try to prevent him from indulging in any way.

I have a very good idea how a high heel wearing man would be accepted by my friends, family and colleagues, therefore I would not knowingly choose to become involved with a guy who had a passion for wearing feminine footwear.

Does that answer your question?.

Amanda,

Can you help define the term "heels" in terms of acceptability to you as our representative female (yup, I'm asking you to speak for all womankind here). I ask becuase you are open minded and present reasonable arguements as to why you wouldn't encourage a partner to wear "heels".

Indeed are there "heels" that are acceptable?

Simon.

[Thighboots2]

Amanda,

Thanks for the definition. We blithly use the word heels around here, but there are just so many styles and types. I do happen to concur with your thoughts. Not that it changes what I would "Like" to wear when I choose and all the other constraints that society puts upon us about our appearance etc etc., however, it does mean that I do wear footwear specifically designed for men that incorporates a heel E.G. my avatar (Archie Eyebrows) and YSL Johnny boots, both of which IMHO would look ridiculous on a woman.

I am firmly of the opinion that the footwear should reflect the wearer and that men and larger ladies do not look right stiletto heels, (sadly not may women do that very successfully either, but that is because they can't walk in them!) becuase they proportion is all wrong. Slender delicate and fine things are restructed to slender and delicate frames - no exception. Why does a proper kilt look right on a man, because the shape and weight of a proper kilt does not work for a slender and delicate frame.

There is this longing around here for all men to be able to wear stiletto heels where and whenever they want. If that is the case they they should just get on with it, however, it will never look right. Just as a regular woman will never look right to me in a business suit, tie and oxford shoes.

Simon.

[Maximilian]

Amanda,

If that is the case they they should just get on with it, however, it will never look right. Just as a regular woman will never look right to me in a business suit, tie and oxford shoes.

Simon.

'Never' is a very strong word in the fashion industry. 30 years ago it was fashionable for men to wear heels. These days it is taboo. 20 years ago a guy with earrings was considered gay. Tatoos were considered rebellious only a few years ago before they became mainstream. Styles do make comebacks.

I'm not saying that a stiletto heel worn by a guy would be acceptable any time soon. It's considered one of the most feminine items out there, more so than a skirt (there are kilts), more so than makeup (every person on tv/film/stage wears some). It would take constant challenging of that perception over a certain period of time to make it more marketable for certain men.

It might never look right to you which is perfectly fine. I obviously have my own ideas of styles/clothes that will never look right on people. We all have our opinions regarding what's hot and what's not.

Well, time to go out to lunch in my stiletto boots

[Thighboots2]

Max, You, along with Kneehighs, Jeff, Stilettoscot, Dave&cathy (apologies if I have missed you out), are one of those who are fashion forward and bravo to you for being so. It takes people to do just what you do, challenge society's perception of right and wrong, to effect change. Perhaps you miss the point of what I am driving at though. I was not saying that all men will never be able to wear stiletto heels, I'm saying that most men will not be able too. Whilst I was not "fishing", you have taken the bait and confirmed my opinion that the meaning of the word "heels" is "stiletto heels" around here. Almost all postings by guys are about stiletto heels. What is so wrong with cuban heels which are definitively masculine and so much more in proportion with the male body size and shape. You, as so many have before, trot out the "earring" thing as a case of society changing its perception. OK, so men now wear earrings - BUT - look at the styles, there are distinct and limited styles worn by men. You dont see dangly earrings that women wear on any man. The earring styles for men are very plain, a simple stud perhaps with a diamond or plain small ring only. Nothing flamboyant or feminine. This brings me back to heels. Stiletto heels equates to dangly girly earrings. they wouldn't look right on a man. So I am going to stick with the word "never". Heels for men are a reality - I wear them every day. Stiletto heels for men are a fantasy and will remain so. Its not what I want, but I am being a realist. I too only wanted to wear stiletto heels for all the reasons that have been written by so many before me, but I also wanted to incorporate heels as part of my regular guy wardrobe, so I had to make that shift of thinking that there were other sorts of heels I sould consider. I look in the mirror and I am happy with the reflection of 3" cuban heels. I feel that other men will look at me and so want to wear a pair of cuban heels too and say so openly. Men will look at you in your stiletto boots and whilst most will want to do exactly as you, and wish they had the balls to do so, they would never say so. We really need men to want to wear heels, so they have to feel that they can see themselves in them and that their ladies will want to see them in heels too. I'm sure that Amanda would not have any objection to her future man wearing YSL Johnny boots - they are mens boots after all. Perhaps Amanda will care to comment on this point. Anyway, I hope you had a nice lunch and your stiletto's didn't get stuck down a crack in the sidewalk. I'm off home in my cuban boots Simon.

[Guest]

well, I for one think you look fantastic in your stiletto thigh boots max, they really fit you very well, bravo mi amigo!!

[billyb]

Simon I agree with most of what you say, in that for heels to become excepted by most men the heel needs to look (for lack of a better word) "manly" ie cuban or even stacked or block heels. I wear heels most days to work and most of the shoes are loafers or oxfords with a 3" or 4" stacked heel, and a couple of times I actully had guys ask me where I got the shoes, now I don't know if they had noticed the heel or not. To your point about Stilettos you are right that there are a lot of women who should not wear shoes with that heel, but they do so as long as it is ok for them then it should be ok for men. To Amanda's reasons I have heard the very same thing from my wife she knows I like wearing heels and when I am at work or alone then it's fine but when we are togther she is not comfortable with me in heels so I don't wear heels. I wish I could but for the very reasons Amanda gave I understand and honor her wish.

Billy

[kneehighs]

....I have a very good idea how a high heel wearing man would be accepted by my friends, family and colleagues, therefore I would not knowingly choose to become involved with a guy who had a passion for wearing feminine footwear.

Does that answer your question?.

To me, this is a Case-In-Point of how women operate within the "rules" of their respected social circles. There are always rules. Sometimes it's the dreaded, "we came here together, we are leaving together." Sometimes, it's "we don't talk to RANDOM guys." In most social circles there will be a tacit rule that men should be men and calibrate their wardrobe with respect to those socially constructed codes of her social circle.

Breaking away from that social rule creates potential for SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS, which all women avoid like the plague.

And therein lies the problem for most men here who want to wear heels, let alone stilettos. I love the guys on this forum, but 90% of the ones I've met in Real Life have really undeveloped social skills (I've met around 50 different guys), so they don't know how to calibrate (via their personal charisma) the wearing of their heels for the context in which they find themself.

And with deference to HappyFeat, I'll go into the why the distinction between the IDEA of a man in heels versus the REALITY is such a key factor here. It's because most women instantly imagine/visualize all the socially awkward situations they might find themselves in if they were to be seen with a partner who wore heels (let alone stilettos).

The key distinction is that in REALITY a man has the ability to trigger typical attraction switches in women that the IDEA can't. And from my experience, once these attraction switches are flipped on, they trump the fear of an imagined socially awkward moment transforming itself into reality.

I can't speak for all women, but what I can say is that most will admit to the socially acceptable attraction triggers: socially intuitive, sense of humor, confidence, and good health are the first that come to mind. Then there are those more covert attributes that are less socially acceptable to admit to: wealth, status, and preselection by other women.

Maybe it's a slightly sweaty palm, or a quicker heartbeat, or a special tingly sensation from their gut, but in my personal experience, I've found that once some of those "attraction triggers" are in effect and causing a girl to feel wickedly amazing around me, the fear of social stigma goes out the window.

In other words, there are times and places when the rules of the social circle, "just don't matter." The key for most guys is to be aware of those opportunities and exploit those key moments while in heels (for me that's cone heels AND stilettos). And if your social circle is higher status than the social circle she comes from, the heels become even less important. The problem on this forum is that most guys here lack social skills. They might think otherwise, but that begs the question.

One last thought, If a guy meets a girl from England while she is in Las Vegas on vacation away from her social circle, things change. "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." And if a guy can get a girl alone, the rules of her social circle often evaporate. Or perhaps it's finding the right open minded social circle to plug into (think art, fashion). Sometimes a girl has been around Macho men all her life and is sick and tired of the stereotypical alpha male. Along comes the nice guy in heels and, walah, magic happens. It's primarily situational in my opinion.

Whatever the case may be, hopefully more guys start enjoying themselves in their heels in the presence of whichever social circle they wish to belong too.

Ciao!

[raymond.nl]

I would say that acceptability depends entirely on the status of the social or professional spheres you're moving in.

Also the extent to which a lack of acceptability may effect your life.

As senior partner in an IT-company with large corporate clients ($100M+ revenue) acceptability could be a serious issue. But as it turns out it isn't.

[Maximilian]

Max,

Almost all postings by guys are about stiletto heels. What is so wrong with cuban heels which are definitively masculine and so much more in proportion with the male body size and shape.

Simon.

There is nothing wrong at all with the cuban style heel. In fact, I think it's awesome. I do love my stilettos but I also love my stacked/cone/block heels. The cone/stacked heels I have actually make a nicer heel sound when walking.

I agree with you that wearing a thicker style heel is much easier for a man to pull off. I'm at a point that I have no self awareness when wearing any type of heel except my stilettos.

I believe that unless a man lives in a very conservative area, he'll be able to wear up to 3 inch heeled boots of any type (apart from stilettos) under trousers/jeans without getting any reaction except positive ones. The color of the boots would need to be brown/black though.

[partyshoes]

You are a lucky man - I'd settle for that in the privacy of my own home, let alone out and about

[Amanda]

Hi Raymond,

I was actually referring to the effect it might have on me if a male partner of mine entered my social/business sphere wearing heels.

Not how it might effect him.

That's not my concern here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amanda Snake

I would say that acceptability depends entirely on the status of the social or professional spheres you're moving in.

Also the extent to which a lack of acceptability may effect your life.

As senior partner in an IT-company with large corporate clients ($100M+ revenue) acceptability could be a serious issue. But as it turns out it isn't.