Building Confidence

[Magickman]

As I see it, the only real way to build your confidence for public heeling is to get out and do it. I was out in knee high boots with 4" heels today, with my jeans tucked into the boots. Went to Walgreens, K-Mart, and and Harbor Freight Tools. Just storming in, like I own the joint, is my method. At K-Mart, the store manager had to be summoned to resolve a pricing question, with my purchases. My footwear was not called into the discussion. Because I stand tall, and radiate confidence, nobody ever says anything about my high heels. How does anyone become confident about wearing high heels? No magick involved, and none needed. It is a matter of practice, practice, practice. I strut about, in my heels, in broad daylight, and no one gives a damn. Everyone else has their own concerns and worries. They have no time to bother with me. The same would be true for any others in this group. If they got out on the streets and sidewalks, and in the stores and banks, they would discover that besides their own nervousness, no one else is thinking about who is wearing what shoes. I wear the shoes and boots that I feel like wearing, and when I feel like it. Honest. It is a non-issue.

[Stilettoscot]

It takes differing amounts of time for each person to achieve this knowledge. Sometimes it takes other people present. You are correct, though.

[crotchboots-m]

if you act like you should be wearing them,then the rest follows along. other than that,no one really cares,other than a few stupid young punks that where never taught any manners.

[Olounda]

I will agree. The general populus doesn't seem to care, and if they do, they can fester about it. its not your problem to worry about what others think. when you realize that they just dont care, then its amazing what freedoms come from not worrying what others are thinking.

[Guest]

I agree Confidence and ownership is a perfect statement I'm no where near 100% let alone 30% yet, but I'm getting there? When you're washing the cars out front and drinking with the neighbours in heels then we've really cracked it. Al

[SandalFan]

I couldn't agree more. It's all about attitude. Confidence is key. You have to own the moment. You have to look and walk like you belong in heels. The more you can project that, the better off you'll be, and you won't give a damn what anyone else thinks or says.

[johnieheel]

Exactly what I do Magickman. I get a few looks but after they see I could care less, they just go about there business like they have already seen it a million times. Great aint it? BTW, I have a good friend who is into magic and he has some pretty good mind blowing stuff. Does your user name have a significance to the man behind it?

[johnieheel]

When you're washing the cars out front and drinking with the neighbours in heels then we've really cracked it. I would rather see a beautiful babe in heels doing this.

[radiodave]

Exactly. How could I have worn a pair of stiletto mary janes to Macy's? I wore them because I like them, and I don't waste time acting like "I hope nobody sees me". What if people see me? Of course they will see; I'm now standing 6'4". But I've found that other than some looks and maybe a double take, nothing bad happens. I'm sure folks might think all kinds of things about it, but it doesn't matter what some strangers think. What matters is what you think of yourself.

[latindancer]

I also have to agree here. When I was in dressing room at JCPenny with a skirt, heels and black stockings, I decided that I don't care what anyone stated or thought. I basically acted like it was normal for a man to be in such clothes and no one, not no one who saw me acted any differently. They looked, I smiled and that was it. It's a lightening experience when you finally have that power and additude. You feel like you can do anything and wear anything without any reprecussion. Act like it's nothing and it will be nothing. LD

[bluesman]

It is all about confidence and taking that first leap. When you first start out, you are hyper-alert, nervous, and think everyone is looking at your feet. If anything, its your nervousness that might possibly attract attention. Take a deep breath, calm down, and like Magick says, act like you own the place. Of course, it helps if you can actually walk in heels rather than stumble about, so a little practice doesn't hurt!

[Kittyinboots]

After reading several posts, my confidence level has gone up to about 50% in my brown knee high boots, 4" heel. For the first time, day after Thanksgiving I went to the movies, mid-morning. Normally I go out late night or early sunrise. I am sure my confidence level will rise even higher over time.

[mtnsofheels]

Could not agree more with all of you. Just do it, that what it boils down to. I have seen DQ's which do not hide the fact of facial hair(like a beard) with skirt and hose and heels on in bright colors and just blow into the crowd and walk away untouched mentally and physically. If they can do it then I can with a pair of heels and jeans with less impact. Just do it. The confidence comes after that like a tsunami, then a high tide satisfaction. Mtnsofheels

[5.5 Thrill]

Just read'n, grin'n and agree'n!

[heelma]

Exactly. How could I have worn a pair of stiletto mary janes to Macy's? I wore them because I like them, and I don't waste time acting like "I hope nobody sees me". What if people see me? Of course they will see; I'm now standing 6'4". But I've found that other than some looks and maybe a double take, nothing bad happens. I'm sure folks might think all kinds of things about it, but it doesn't matter what some strangers think. What matters is what you think of yourself.

I agree in principle with you and the others here. I definitely don't care anymore what strangers may think or may say about it. However, my main concern with wearing heels really bold with men's clothes, such as by tacking jeans into boots, is that someone who might know me and who shouldn't know may see it. Yet, this never happened ever to me and is rather unlikely, but I always say better safe than sorry with respect to this. After months of hiding heels under long men's jeans and otherwise looking completely normal, I recently switched to the other extreme and dress up as a woman completely (incl. wig and sunglasses), except for makeup. As I always thought that it looks wrong when I wear heels with my men's clothes but rather associate them with a woman, I feel much better about it, and it also gives me anonymity and more confidence. I went out with long pants/jeans or lately even with knee-length or ankle-length skirts and a double layer of tights, and it was always a better experience to me than what I did before. Always with 4-5" stilettos (pumps or boots), mainly from Payless. My costume seems to work well enough that I even heard comments like "wow, that looks sexy" or "hi, babe" or "please step back, miss!", particularly in the dark (with streetlights). I could almost not believe it when I heard those comments! It's incredible how such little effort seems to make these things possible! I guess it's really time to post some pictures here.

But as we all know, it's everyone's own choice if streetheeling works better for him either very open with men's clothes, or hidden with men's clothes or with dressed up as woman.

[Dawn HH]

As has been said before---"Just do it". The rewards are infinitely rewarding to the "Nth " degree. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Stilettoscot]

This is definately a great thread to read when you get the butterflies prior to going out. Thanks guys!

[Olounda]

maybe a story to boost your confidence? Last night was the festival of trees, people make door hangings, decorate christmas trees, make gingerbread houses, ect ect and they donate them to charity. I was meeting a gal i work with there, i pull up in the parking lot, wearing my 3 1/2 boots under my jeans, got out of the car and walked in to meet her. i walk into the event center, and i run into one of my best friends parents. we stop and talk for maybe a half an hour, and they didn't notice, and if they did, they didn't care. we just stood there and shot the breeze just like old times. I finally catch up with the gal from work, and we walked around and looked at all the pretty trees and lights, and it was not at all nerve wracking, it was comfortable. a guy in a wheelchair stopped me, and made a comment about my smile and how nice my teeth were, not a single peep about shoes. My friend and i went to dinner after that, no comments the whole time. so again, i think the best confidence booster to get you out of the car, is the fact that people dont notice. if they do notice, they dont care. if they do care, they will look at you, and see that you dont care and aren't nervous, and then they wont care. Go getum Tiger

[roniheels]

The more you street heel, the more confident you become. As I have said many times, just enjoy the moments and experiences.

[JeffB]

Just like everyone else here has already said, being out in public in heels is all about attitude. As long as you think, act and believe that you belong anywhere you want to be, wearing whatever you wear, then nothing can stop you from going wherever you want to go in heels. The ONLY person who can stop you is yourself, so if you banish any fears or concerns you might have about your outings, relax and be confident, you'll have a great time. Again, you just gotta do it!

[Dawn HH]

What JeffB says is so true. He has found it, I have found it, and a lot of newbies have also found it to be true. Just do it. Enjoy! Cheers--- Dawn HH