Shyheels

We’re all on various spectrums of whatever. As for me, I am not at all confused by my gender or orientation and do not feel the least bit less masculine in heels. I am aware though that there is an element of femininity in my make up - as there is with everybody, merely a matter of degree. Wearing heels has taught me to be comfortable with that, not threatened by it.

I’ve several pair of Jean Gaborit boots both with and without heels. The soles and heels on them are superb - sturdy and stable. I’m sure they can eventually wear out but most unlikely to break

I can understand that too! The delighting in variety

Totally agree! I too like a variety of styles but am also very fussy. I dislike far more varieties of heels/boots than I like. I am increasingly glad that I spent more on my boots, and bought fewer of them. Those I have fit beautifully, wear well and will last for years. A couple of pair are already nearly ten years old and have many years left in them

I could imagine my wife agonising over a neatly undetectable difference in shade, then getting rid of the things and regretting it ever afterwards

A common theme there .. By their very nature heels, especially stilettos, are going to be somewhat precarious and therefore not great candidates for the cheap disposable fashion that is nearly universal these days. We live in an era where firm triumphs over function. As long as it looks the part, no need for structural integrity.

I always wanted a pair of white boots and not long ago when I found a pair of OTK boots with 3.5 inch block heels - very much like taller versions of the go-go boots that caught my eye a a child - I was delighted and ordered a pair. They fit beautifully, had rounded toes - which I much prefer to pointy ones - and stylistically were perfect. And comfortable. But they were made of such cheap and flimsy faux leather! They felt more like part of a cheap costume than a genuine pair of boots. I suppose I've been spoiled by having all my boots up until now made of high quality leather. The difference was startling and unflattering. And so I shall divest myself of these and continue my search for a nice pair of white boots - hopefully someday

Yes, I was intrigued by that as well ...

Yes, there’s always that …

That’s a lovely environment - this casual and conversational acceptance. You’re very fortunate

It’s nice to have company in your misadventures. And very nice to have someone to chat with who shares your tastes and fashions

I wouldn't describe it as an angel on the shoulder but rather an Inner Jailer, instilling fear of rejection and isolation and a neediness to conform and belong to the herd. I would say the percentage of men who would like to wear heels - or at least have the freedom to do so - is considerably larger than 5 per cent. It is not just about a footwear style choice, but about overall liberation of thought and identity and expression. I think there is a great latent longing to be freer than we are.

Yes! Intensely frustrating. Even worse, in a way, than the more usual problem of seeing a pair one really likes only to find they make them in a small range of women’s sizes. There is such a huge difference between good quality leather boots and those made of cheap synthetic. The others feel like I’m wearing a costume.

The white boots sound great. I’d love a pair like that. I did find a pair of cream OTK boots with three-inch heels, and bought them. And while they fit well and I really like the styling, the faux leather fabric of which they are made feels so cheap and flimsy I’m going to get rid of them. All my other boots are of really nice leather and the comparison is just odious

I have several pair of knee boots with Vibram or rubber soles for just those sorts of days, or where I am working in treacherous conditions

For me heels are an accessory - some I like, some I don’t. In terms of observing those around me, I’m much more likely to notice faces, the colours people wear, their overall look and style, with a preference for the bohemian over the classic and formal. I could as easily fall for someone in hiking boots as I could in OTK boots with four inch heels

Not a favourite of mine either, but as you say quite popular

Yes, I believe you would - and do. Indeed it was your comment about noticing a couple of guys in heels at the hospital that prompted my thought. I tend to notice these sorts of things too, but how many other heel wearers are wrapped in their bubbles, so preoccupied with looking at the eyes of others that they noticing nothing else about the people around them?

An excellent point. I have noticed the same thing. And yes, it is a shame that the forum has grown so quiet of late. There’s no need. The interest is out there.

People’s tastes may well lean towards heels along with a secret wishing that it were possible to wear them without such a big deal being made of it, but while there is this pervasive fear of stepping out of line, it won’t happen

Wouldn’t it be funny if, as we talk about so few people noticing our heels, we ourselves fail to notice anybody else’s ?

Good call, I’d say. There’s a time and a place. One does not live in a vacuum

Same here. Not long ago I did spot a guy in chunky heeled ankle boots with about a 2.5 inch heel. It’s quite rare, no matter what trendy fashion writers like to suggest, or what online retailers like Asos might offer on their sites.

Yes, it pays to be familiar with your environments. I don't think I'd care to try wearing heels in, say, Dubai, for example, even on a layover en route from London to Australia. Especially stilettos. There is leeway with chunky heels, but none with stilettos. I would risk it with the OTK boots I've been wearing around lately though as they come across as bohemian rather an outright challenge to gender norms. I should add that I do not wear these as a form of compromise, but because I genuinely like the style. After the initial rush of blood in trying heels for the first time, when five-inch stilettos thrilled with their novelty and athletic challenge, I've settled into my own style - which is chunky heeled boots of some description; clean, classic lines and almond toes, worn with jeans. And because this is my style, and I feel so comfortable with it, that in itself makes me blend into the scenery. There's nothing contrived here, no sense of provocation.

Sounds like another good reason to avoid McDonalds! I think you can find trouble anywhere, and no matter what style of footwear you are wearing. But for the most part people go around in their own bubbles and they’re fairly harmless anyway