Almost Blew It!!

[JL]

Yesterday when I arrived home from work... I had the 'yearning' to put on a pair of heels... So, from my "hidden in plain sight" hiding place (my wife doesn't know) I grab a pair of 5.5" mules and a pair of pantyhose.... get the hose on then the shoes.... After about 30 minutes, I realized that I needed to get outside to hook up the pool pump, etc... so I took off the heels and hose and went to put them away and re-hide it all. In my haste to get out to the pool tasks, I put the hose back in the box and put it all away, then outside I went. About 2 minutes before I heard the garage door open, I went upstairs to ensure that the heelprints in the carpet were gone then had the realization that I only put the hose away and left the heels out in plain view!!!!! The next thing I heard was the sound of the garage door. Oh crap. I closed the door to the room and greeted my bride at the door. Since we were going out to dinner anyway, I told her to go upstairs and change into a pair of shorts and we'll leave. As soon as I heard the bedroom door close, I jetted into the other room as sure as the sun shines -- there were my heels sitting out on the table. I quickly and quietly stashed them in an alternate location. As I closed the door, she came down the stairs. Major crisis averted. I know -- I really need to tell her. I want to -- I really do want to. The problem is that I don't know how she'll react. Actually I probably do know -- she'll wig out and probably kick me out. Anyway -- just thought I'd share.

[fastfreddy2]

Major crisis averted.

I know -- I really need to tell her. I want to -- I really do want to. The problem is that I don't know how she'll react. Actually I probably do know -- she'll wig out and probably kick me out.

Anyway -- just thought I'd share.

Greaaaaaaat story!

I don't envy you having 'to share' with your wife at this stage though.

It's waaaay too late, but as you probably know, the best time was before things got serious. That said, you may not have gotten where you are if you had?

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't?"

....

[Amanda]

Your lucky, I never had any such excitement through heel wearing.

[JL]

Your lucky, I never had any such excitement through heel wearing.

You call that excitement?!?!?

I see it as something closer to a heart attack.

[Amanda]

I miss the secrecy and excitement of doing naughty things as a child.

[heelma]

Heel wearing as a man is exciting and secret enough on its own - no need for further action.

I miss the secrecy and excitement of doing naughty things as a child.

[Amanda]

Heel wearing as a man is exciting and secret enough on its own - no need for further action.

Almost like having a secret affair?

[heelma]

Major crisis averted.

I know -- I really need to tell her. I want to -- I really do want to. The problem is that I don't know how she'll react. Actually I probably do know -- she'll wig out and probably kick me out.

Anyway -- just thought I'd share.

That's one of the reasons why I hardly ever put my heels on at home. When you really need to and want to keep it secret, you have to be much more careful with what you're doing. Self-discipline is a virtue, when it comes to heeling without letting anyone you know ever know about it!

Some MUST-DOs for such a situation:

1. Only wear heels at home when you absolutely positively (and with triple verification) know your wife is 30+ driving minutes away from home, better completely out of town.

2. Verify conditions listed under no.1 once more.

3. Even then avoid walking on carpet.

4. Don't store your heels at home either. Think of other places to store them. Unless you have a place where you 150% positively know that your wife will never go there. Example could be under insulation in a never used attic or sth like that. Even then make sure you leave no trace behind, such as "foot prints" from the attic ladder or spilled insulation material.

I consider the next two points as being very useful in adding addtional security:

5. When bringing your heels in or out of your house, hide them in an unsuspicous container, a shopping bag, garbage bag, work bag, or whatever; something where no neighbors may start to wonder what you are carrying in and out.

6. Wear heels outside only. If streetheeling in a public area, wear something inconspicious with your heels. Or, alternatively, cross-dress as perfect and again inconspicious as possible. And try to keep a minimum distance of 45+min driving from home or from where your wife works. Plus, have an idea where her colleages and friends from work live.

I strongly discourage you from telling her. Either you keep hiding it more efficiently, or you stop doing it.

[fastfreddy2]

I miss the secrecy and excitement of doing naughty things as a child.

.... like having a secret affair?

2 + 2 = 4 ??

That's a frightening insight.

Having a secret life with HH's is just like having a mistress, isn't it?

....

[heelma]

2 + 2 = 4 ??

That's a frightening insight.

Having a secret life with HH's is just like having a mistress, isn't it?

....

I disagree.

It would be if I would get sexually pleased by wearing heels, but this is not the case. The entire reason for keeping it secret is b/c the "outside world" doesn't understand why most men wear heels, but rather have this image of goofy gay men/TVs from movies in their head, which is probably at least 95% wrong. However, you can't help it, so you have to work around it.

[Amanda]

2 + 2 = 4 ??

That's a frightening insight.

Having a secret life with HH's is just like having a mistress, isn't it?

.

Some of these illicit heel wearing experiences I read about remind me of having an affair.

I almost have you guys figured out now.

Maybe soon I can find some other internet forum to dig around in and analyse.

[fastfreddy2]

I disagree.

It would be if I would get sexually pleased by wearing heels, but this is not the case. The entire reason for keeping it secret is b/c the "outside world" doesn't understand why most men wear heels, but rather have this image of goofy gay men/TVs from movies in their head, which is probably at least 95% wrong. However, you can't help it, so you have to work around it.

"Disagree" if you want.

But there's a significant amount of common ground. Not all affairs are sexual after all, and no-one has this far suggested HH's have replaced or supplimented your sex life.

But dublicity is the key. [secret] Your heels, are the other life you have. [Affair]

Some of these illicit heel wearing experiences I read about remind me of having an affair.

I almost have you guys figured out now.

Maybe soon I can find some other internet forum to dig around in and analyse.

Mmmmm.

Maybe just slightly over-confident?

...

[heelma]

But dublicity is the key. [secret] Your heels, are the other life you have. [Affair]

You could apply the same argument to a bank robber who in his "one live" is a thug, and in his "second life" is a perfectly nice person to the rest of the world.

No, I don't see how this goes together when it comes down to heels! The main point with heels is that it's the outside world who doesn't understand men wearing heels. Keeping this as a secret is simple self-protection, protecting us against the not-understanding part of the population. Yes, I do feel bad sometimes when I don't tell my wife and I would love to tell her that, but she simply wouldn't understand and kick me out for the wrong reasons.

On the other hand, if someone had an affair and gets kicked out, or committed a crime and gets arrested, then this is the right thing to happen, as that person did something wrong.

[BoyLegs]

The problem is that the secret life gets really really really really old after a while.

[Histiletto]

I almost have you guys figured out now.

Maybe soon I can find some other internet forum to dig around in and analyse.

Amanda, you are quite right! We are not hard to figure out. Maybe it's because most of us are lousy prevaricators and prefer not to, and also we are forthright in our dealings. If we could have straight-way confronted the idea of heeling with out sending everyone else into a tizzy, especially our wife, we would have done it long ago. However, society has been taught a certain attitude about men in heels, as you know. In order to restore this individual right of choice, we are put in a defensive position which usually causes contention with our families, public opinion, and yes - even ourselves.

Thanks for the insights you have brought to this forum. I hope you will continue to return often even though we are no real challenge. You have an insight for male heeling that many aren't willing to even consider.

[heelma]

The problem is that the secret life gets really really really really old after a while.

Yes.

Fortunately, I don't even have the desire to heel all the time. Instead, there are months, if not years, in between where I don't feel like doing it. So during the time when I want to do it, I do it secretly - which is often only for a few months, and not everyday within these few months.

[hhboots]

I have been married for 10 years, and coming out to my wife after about the first year of marriage was one of the hardest things I ever did. Hiding my stuff and sneaking around was kinda exciting initially, but the excitement and fear of the backlash of being caught was too much to bear. I waited for a time we were get along great, and we were rather intoxicated. I started suggesting some crazy things, she has always kinda been playful about sexual exploration, one thing led to another, I wanted to try on her shoes (making it seem as though I had never done this before), my feet are only about 1 size bigger than hers, anyway, she liked how I looked. We had fun that night kind of role playing. Anyway, she now knows that I have done this for years, but that is how I did it, waiting for the right moment, when we were both in a very playful (and drunk) mood. Later on, it took me 7-8 more years to start doing some street heeling, and that I do very cautiously, in very strict circumstances, where I know I wont see anyone I know, and in boots that are easy to cover up as being heels, but who knows, in another 5+ years what I will be doing by then

[fastfreddy2]

Yes, I do feel bad sometimes when I don't tell my wife and I would love to tell her that, but she simply wouldn't understand and kick me out for the wrong reasons.

Hey, I'm not trying to run your life. [i have enough trouble running my own.]

You can rationalise it all you like. I don't have to live with your secret - you do, and I'm good with you doing whatever you have to, to get by. But we are not going to agree on this.

Your "affair" with your shoes works just like any other secret relationship, and from what you've written, with similar consequences if caught.

Sure, in the biblical sense you are not commiting adultery. But (out of necessity) you are lying to your wife .... About a fairly serious interest you have in wearing high heels.

I'm not trying to make you or anyone else feel bad about their situation, far from it. My initial remarks were about Amanda's very astute observation. One I wholly agree with, as must be obvious. And I absolutely know, this very situation must 'tear-up' many who have to endure it. As I said in my original post, I don't envy anyone in this position. It must be awful!

....

[heelma]

I don't have to live with your secret - you do, and I'm good with you doing whatever you have to, to get by. But we are not going to agree on this.

No, we very certainly won't. As I said before, keeping this kind of secret is from my perspective a complete different story than any "affair". And I sharply decline to name it an "affair" with shoes, because this is simply wrong. Yes, it is having a secret, but I don't put any harm on her by doing so. If I had an affair with another girl, I would. If I wear shoes and she is simply not open minded enough to understand this, then I do something good for our relationship not to tell her.

Good for those who have a female "significant other" who understands. Mine won't because of wrong prejudices.

[johnieheel]

Later on, it took me 7-8 more years to start doing some street heeling, and that I do very cautiously, in very strict circumstances, where I know I wont see anyone I know, and in boots that are easy to cover up as being heels, but who knows, in another 5+ years what I will be doing by then

Don't miss out on the fun you can have today when tomorrow may never come.

[Bootking]

I need to throw my two cents in here. Whether you do it he way hhboots did, or let her find the shoes (kind of dangerous - she might really think there's another woman/man involved) or it sneaks out somehow as desire, I can only very strongly suggest that the hiding/lying/duplicity won't work in the long run and can only damage the relationship (any relationship).

My wife is not really happy about the heeling thing and would be quite happy if it went away (of course it is not going to). That said, sometimes we talk about it and I stand my ground as she knew about my thing for heels/boots right from the beginning (among other things). I would really not want to be in the "stash the trash" place at all.

[fastfreddy2]

I can only very strongly suggest that the hiding/lying/duplicity won't work in the long run and can only damage the relationship (any relationship).

Here! Here! <well said>

Hey look, I'm not anyone's conscience, God knows I have and do my bit for duplicity.

BUT .... Not only isn't this sort of thing healthy for a relationship, it's not healthy for you either!

Do what you must by all means, but if there's a way of getting rid of the stress these situations cause, do try to get rid of it. That's advise aimed at anyone reading this thread BTW.

....

[Trinity]

i am fortunate enough to have a pretty open minded partner who does not mind my bootloving. so i dont have to hide it from her. so i do feel for you guys that dont have that fortuitous position.

[Dr. Shoe]

My wife came home to find me fully en-femme but with much mincing around and talking in a high falsetto voice I thought that I'd managed to convince her that I was a real woman having an affair with her husband... and that he was out... and I'll be leaving soon and he'll be back in a few minutes or so.

"No" she said, "You're Tara the Tranny Tart!"

Oh dear!

No seriously, you really, really need to tell her.

You could say that there is something you need to tell her because you love her so much. make out that it's a fairly recent thing. As for the time delay tell her you were hoping that it was just a phase and that you'll grow out of it... Her response might surprise you!

[shyguy]

I really believed that story then Dr. Shoe, then you went and spoiled it with the truth. As for telling your s/o (wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, family) you only think you know how they will react. This whole topic has been discussed here so many times, and the outcome when people are told of the heel wearers "dirty little secret" varies so wildly as you will see if you read all the other related threads on this forum. In my opinion a relationship with any kind of deceit involved is doomed to failure, as surely as most male heelers believe it would be if they tell their wives etc. The thing is once it's out in the open and discussed, compromises can be reached, and negativity can be talked over. While it's hidden you are in that position of not knowing if/when you will be found out and then having to explain it (when you're caught do you cover with another lie? do you come clean?). If you don't feel your partner can accept you when you tell them about wearing heels, how do you think they will feel knowing it has gone on behind their back, a double whammy if they don't accept it anyway as they have also been deceived. It is of course the individuals decision, and only you can choose what to do.

[heelma]

Folks, you just have to be careful enough and smart enough, and it can be kept secret. In my case, I kept it secret from my parents for more than 10 years, and now I am doing the same from my wife.

What it boils down to is probably how often you really "need" to wear heels and how far you go with it (just heels, or dressing up with more TV stuff as well). As I described here many times, I can "survive" without heels for months, if not years, and have only a phase where I want to do it. Such phase can be again from a few months to more than a year, but there are always long interruptions, and I never have worn them for more than 2h at one day. This situation is most likely much different than what many others here are in, but for my case, I really don't see the necessity to tell anyone. If requ., I can stop it and won't miss it for quite a while.

Someone here suggested that part of the reason why I wear heels is curiosity. That's probably about half of the story, and the rest is to impersonate something I think is sexy. But for the curiosity part, after having worn the same heels for a while, the curiosity part dies b/c I know how it is then. This in conjunction with the effort to hide them for street walking and the nervousness of how strangers may react, seems to kill my desire anyway (for a while).

Btw, what's next if I told my wife and she would magically understand it? She still wouldn't want me to wear it outside b/c she would think I would ridicule myself. And then ... should I always hear from then on "did you do it again?" when I come home? Heeling in the house gets old very soon ...

[fastfreddy2]

Hopefully you understand the "advice" we are proposing is well meant, and conveyed with your best interests in mind?

Only you amongst us, fully understands your situation in detail, and only you can llive your life. I'm sure we all appreciate that. But for many of us, we perhaps are not so good at leading (what for us is) a kind of 'double' life. You are right, that wearing heels for short periods, and very occassionally, does stack the odds in your favour for not getting 'busted'. But for us, well we don't do so good on the hiding thing.....

Good luck with your adventures. Sounds like you don't need "luck" as you have everything fairly well sorted out, but good luck to you anyway.

...

[Dan J]

I waited for a time we were get along great, and we were rather intoxicated. I started suggesting some crazy things, she has always kinda been playful about sexual exploration, one thing led to another, I wanted to try on her shoes (making it seem as though I had never done this before), my feet are only about 1 size bigger than hers, anyway, she liked how I looked. We had fun that night kind of role playing. Anyway, she now knows that I have done this for years, but that is how I did it, waiting for the right moment, when we were both in a very playful (and drunk) mood.

HH: Outstanding story, and really should serve as inspiration and hope to a lot of guys who are in the same situation. Please continue to post.

Dan

[Bubba136]

shyguy wrote:

As for telling your s/o (wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, family) you only think you know how they will react. This whole topic has been discussed here so many times, and the outcome when people are told of the heel wearers "dirty little secret" varies so wildly as you will see if you read all the other related threads on this forum.

There isn't anyone that knows how a wife feels about issues and subjects better than their husband. If he "thinks" he knows how she would feel when he reveals that he likes to wear high heels, he probably already knows what her reaction will be.

shyguy also commented:

If you don't feel your partner can accept you when you tell them about wearing heels, how do you think they will feel knowing it has gone on behind their back, a double whammy if they don't accept it anyway as they have also been deceived.

Marriages are built upon mutual trust. You believe you know all about someone after courting them for months and, perhaps, years. However, once the trust has been lost, it's like trying to put the air back into a baloon after you stuck it with a pin. Almost impossible. It will take years to re-establish the former level of trust....if you ever can.

Years ago, back when this forum was part of Jenny's high heel website, we had a pereson that, after having been married to his wife for more than 15 years, told her about his love of wearing high heels and she promptly moved out of the house and filed for divorce. The reason wasn't only that she didn't approve of his heel wearing, she was angered over the breech of trust that had been built up over the years.

There are several really big mistakes heel wearing men make. Two of the biggest. One) That they can stop wearing heels and never put on a pair again, anytime they want to. (They're wrong. The desire won't ever go away) and Two) They don't tell their prospective life long mate before they get married. They believe they can keep it a secret or hide it from them for as long as they're together. Wives are a "sneaky sort." Their homes are their nests and they know everything about them, what is in them and where everything is kept, stored, stashed, etc. They will eventually find them. You can bet the farm on that. And, then the s**t will hit the fan. One of the first statements out of their mouths, when the find out, is "why didn't you tell me about this before we got married?"

Lastly, advice for any unmarried high heel wearing guy (this advice applies to all men that have any secrets they really don't want to reveal) tell your prospective mate as soon as you believe there is a possiblity that your relationship might develop beyond being just "boyfriend-girlfriend." Tell them and let them digest this aspect of your personality and make up their own mind if they want to deal with this part of you. Thoroughly talk it through with her. Give her a chance to educate herself about the issue and, perhaps, she will eventually understand and accept this part of you without ridicule.

And, if she can't or doesn't, and wants to break off -- eventhough it might break your heart at the time she chooses to stop seeing you,-- you can't imagin how much grief you've saved yourself and won't have to deal with. No divorce to go through, no children involved and/or no alimoney payments, bad feelings and a ton of other heart breaking things that you can imagin.

TELL THEM UP FRONT AND DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

[fastfreddy2]

Years ago, back when this forum was part of Jenny's high heel website, we had a pereson that, after having been married to his wife for more than 15 years, told her about his love of wearing high heels and she promptly moved out of the house and filed for divorce. The reason wasn't only that she didn't approve of his heel wearing, she was angered over the breech of trust that had been built up over the years.

I think many of us here who have (as I said "for the best reasons") offered the share advice, fully expect such a catastrophy if "busted". And as you mention, chances are the homebuilder (nest builder) will find out one day.

"Our" thinking is, everyone is going to get caught, (though my thinking is the stress of the expection will hurt your life one way or another). We are a resourceful bunch us men, and getting the message across doesn't have to be the slap in the face getting "busted" might be. Several here have told of how they got the message across successfully, without terminating their longterm relationship. Your partner finding out by hearing from your own lips has GOT to be better than her finding out the hard way. [Discovery of 'evidence' for example.] We are not going to win every declaration, like the fella in the example above. [Though her reaction does seem unusually harsh.]

TELL THEM UP FRONT AND DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

Capital advice.

Especially if you ever expect to be more than a 'closet' HH wearer?

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