SarahLou Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Hi all. This has been going round in my head ever since I started seeing my boyfriend, who has a huge high heel fetish (just to look, not to wear), and I feel like I need some kind of opinion on it or I will never be able to stop thinking about it! When we are out, my boyfriend is always looking at girls in high heels. I see him looking, but have never just asked him if he knows he's doing it. I suppose guys will always look at other women, do you think? Whether they have a high heel thing or not. I just wish I could be like them for him, but Im not! It makes me sad that he's not with someone who can fulfill his needs.
Jarl Ayari Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I married my American fiance in April (I am british) and she cant wear heels, I do... I look st agirls all day long while driving and my wife even spots them for me higher the better and its not that I fancy the girls etc as its not them or their bodies I am looking at, just the shoes and how high, nice, styles etc. We are both very secure in this... Hope that helps Andi & Diane Smile and the whole world smiles with you, Fart and your on your own!!!
shrimper Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Sarah, I am a married man and I love my wife. My thing about shoes (to look and to wear) started long before I met her and has nothing to do with her. I notice womens' feet and shoes, that does not mean that they have something I want or feel that I lack. I look because it is part of my nature. It has nothing to do with my choice of a mate and has nothing to do with my satisfaction with my relationship. If it really bothers you I would suggest you discuss it with your boyfriend and really listen to his responses. If you know that you are going to have issues with it I would suggest you not go any further with the relationship. Its something about him you will not be able to change
Bubba136 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 SarahLou: Just think that your boyfriend is looking at other women to see how much more beautiful you are, in his eyes, than the woman he's looking at. After all, we do (males) compair "ours" against "theirs" and think how much more fortinuate we are. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Dr. Shoe Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Yes, we all do that. Mainly we are either thinking I'd love a pair like that or my wife/girlfriend would look stunning in those. Sometimes we think that she looks better in hers than we do in ours! Most women can't understand this but be assured if you didn't meet his needs he wouldn't be with you. You might not have their figures, you might not wear the shoes thay do but rest assured he loves you for other reasons. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
shyguy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I had to explain this to my wife a few years back, as I do look at women to see what shoes they're wearing. She understands now it's just a shoe thing, and doesn't reflect on her or how much she means to me. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
sendra45 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I just wish I could be like them for him, but Im not! It makes me sad that he's not with someone who can fulfill his needs. Hi, and thanks for sharing this with us, I am confused though as you have been a member here for ages, I dont really understand why a member of the hhplace does not feel that she cant be the woman she wants to be? you must be perfect for him if you are into heels as much as he is. best of luck with figuring it out btw from your friend just down the M4 Nigel The angels have the phonebox.
SarahLou Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 Thanks for that guys - something for me to think about! Nigel, yes I have been a member for quite sometime, and I do LOVE heels...I wear them also, mainly to and from my car to work, and then in work (where Im sitting down most of the day) but usually the places we see them are in town and things, where I cannot wear them for the simple fact that they hurt me too much! Its like my feet are on fire if I have to walk for very long, even though before this I can walk in them just fine. So when we (he) sees girls out in the street, I guess he thinks 'Wow I wish my girlfriend could walk around town looking like that.' But I don't know how other women do it - Im amazed!
johnieheel Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 SarahLou; My wife has the same problem so she always takes an extra pair of comfy shoes to change into when her feet start hurting. I in turn can wear heels all day with no prob and there has been a lot of times when I went to get the car while she rested her feet. Ma by this will help a little. real men wear heels
FXHH Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 @ Sarahlow 1st there has alredy been a lot of good advice think of it this way if he did not wish to be with you he would be. trust is very important, and only you know if you trust him or not. this might not sound too good, however makes sense to me. as long as he only looks at the menu and eats at home, you should be the lucky one!!:smile: hope my warped views help in some way
Tech Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Its like my feet are on fire if I have to walk for very long Hey Sarah Why not try some scholl party feet in your shoes? Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!
loswabs Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Hi SarahLou I love to wear stilettoes, my wife likes me in them too. She occasionally wears them and knows I love her in them. She doesn't have a problem me looking at women in heels or footwear in general and will point them out to if I've missed some ;o) She knows I love her and would never stray from her. Perhaps you aren't as confident and need you SO to re-assure you? E-mail him a link of this thread and I think he'll soon get the message. BTW, high heels are not just for walking in. Wear them in the bedroom, of course, but also maybe when you're watching TV?? I'm pretty sure your bf would be delighted to watch you dangle a nice stiletto off your toes and tease him with some shoe play... Take care Rob xx It's my opinion, no more, no less
wood&metal Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 SarahLou.. Communicate.... Tell him what you think.. Tell him how you feel.. Talk about it.. Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
SarahLou Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 Thanks guys I have bought some of those party feet things now, and will try them out tomorrow... I wish I could communicate with him, but it usually escalates into an argument, and nothing changes
Dr. Shoe Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Just to add another point, you shouldn't try to wear heels around town just because he keeps looking at heels, this won't actuall stop him, just in the same way as I wouldn't stop looking at other cars while I'm driving mine. Party feet is a good idea if you do want to be able to wear heels all day. Some women can wear them and some women can't and you shouldn't try unless you actually want to. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Bubba136 Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 I agree with Dr. Shoe. Even if you wear heels when you are with him, he isn't going to stop looking at other woman. So, it is important that you want to wear heel for the style and enjoyment you get rather than just for him. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
jmc Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 I guess I have a little bit different take on this subject. . . . I wish I could communicate with him, but it usually escalates into an argument, and nothing changes In my book, that's kind of a red flag, a reason for concern. A lasting relationship of any kind requires communication. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it but it's disconcerting if he gets argumentative on the subject. Guys are going to look at women (especially women in heels) but when I was with my wife I did consciously try to keep my wandering eye at bay. I felt that this was a simple courtesy to her. Any time I did notice a particularly attractive female I would define exactly what it was about her that was attractive. Then I would look for some measure of that feature in my wife -- and I could always find it. That would focus my attention back to my wife, where it should be. Have a happy time!
sevenup Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 Hi Sarahlou , i hope you have made inroads into this "little" problem with your boyfriend based on the brilliant advice given by all here. From a single " again" point of view i have too agree with JMC , if you are out with someone female, you should curb your "owl like tendancies" although it is difficult , I believe anyone" into heels "will tell you , the sound or the look just triggers some mechanism inside us , it is difficult too hide, both my previous long term partners sussed i had a fetish and i did exactly what you S/O is doing, but i did try too hide it as best i could for their sake, i loved them both and was always proud too be out with them whatever shoes or clothes for that matter they were wearing and as someone earlier mentioned it was i who was going home with them! and not going home with the people i had been eyeing all night! Just another angle on this but please don't think i'm insinuating anything, When your are out on the town as you say, are the women /girls dressed or rather not dressed, in saying that are you slightly more concervative in your dress sense when out , this may be another sign of your S/O inability too communnicate with you, we all have fantasies and he probably can't tell you what his is? I hope this doesn't offend you in anyway , good luck with him, but try too communicate with him, he'll come round in the end but don't push it, he'll always look at heels it is something deep inside!! Over the years i have tried too "dump" my fetish but it keeps coming back if your trying too stop him looking , you are onto a long road with no end in sight, i wish you all the best. Andy X (i wear,i look and i listen, i just need eyes in the back of my head now!)
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