bigj3650 Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Do people mistake you for being gay?? (guys question) because the second i say i have a high heel fetish or that i wear heels i get told that im gay... No offence firefox but when i first saw you i thought you were but i didnt say anything because i didnt want to make myself look more of a t*at than i already am. I dont really care if people are or are not because it doesnt change anything but i just want to know out of the guys in here if they have ever been called gay because thats what they do. Also if the girls ever said a guy was gay before comming on this board and seeing that really they are not and just have a fun prosective on life. J P.S Calv how did you get that bus of yours and if your ever selling it tell me because i could buy it from you in 5 years (making me 23)
Firefox Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 I have been called gay a few times, but the only people who are afraid of being called gay are some homophobes, or who may have gay tendencies themselves and don't want admit it. Since I fall into neither of those categories I can just feel pretty smug at the ignorance of people who make such a mistake. Ignorance means exactly that. A limited outlook on life or lack of knowledge. You stated you thought I was gay. That's obviously a statement made from the point of view of lack of knowledge. Luckily for you, you have breached that barrier by learning more. Incidentally, if you state that you have a fetish or you wear heels but don't actually back it up by wearing them in public, people are more likely to think worse of you or come to the wrong conclusion. If you actually wear them, the fashion aspect comes to the fore and people will repect you more. Put it another way, if a woman walked around boasting she wore heels at home or in her private life, that is unusual behaviour. Maybe people would think she was a whore. How many women walk around broadcasting they have a heel fetish? They just wear them for their own purposes without comment. I actually wear heels for fashion purposes. Not because I am gay, or because I am a TG, or because I need them to come off. I like the look and style of certain kinds of boots and am interested in their design, construction, maintenance, and the practicalities of wearing them. There aren't many people like me so I can excuse the odd spot of ignorance here and there I suppose!
highheellover Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 interesting question. Girls and heels rock.
bigj3650 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 thanks firefox. and heellover i try my best to come up with interesting questions... J
avril Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 People who don't know I'm a tranny suspect nothing. They seem to think 'I know he's not gay, so....' I think this is because they only have two boxes in their minds, ie. he's either gay or straight. TG doesn't seem to occur to them. Just my thoughts based on my own experience.
bigj3650 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 No its just those boxes are put into the gay category automatically. For Example there is a TG where i live and people think that its a he and that HE is gay...hmmm
avril Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Exactly. Only those two boxes again. I rather like Eddie Izzard's line about being a lesbian trapped in a man's body. (men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.)
chris100575 Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 It is based purely on ignorance. Apart from anything else, gay men have no inherent desire to wear women's clothes / shoes or anything else. In fact, all the statistics I've seen show that it's far more common among straight guys. Chris
Bubba136 Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 The idea of "Transgender" is always for difficult for some people to absorb. The question of a male TG being gay is confusing. If one looks at the fact that the TG guy, in his role of being a female, is courting a man, then some people unfamiliar with the psycholgy involved look upon it as a guy making out with another guy. Therefore he (the TG) has to be homosexual. If, on the otherhand, the TG is thought of as a female, then the confusion is moderated a bit. But, it's hard for a lot of people to visualize a female with male attributes making out with a guy because there are only so many ways to consummate the physical relationship. And, those ways are thought to be performed mainly by one man on another man to satisfy each other. Go figure! Only though education and exposure will this issue be resolved. And then, there will always be the 10% that don't get (or except) it. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
shyguy Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Those few people who do know about my liking for heels have all asked me if I am gay, even my wife even though she knew about it befre marriage has asked again if I have gay feelings when I want heels. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
bigj3650 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 This is turning out better than i hoped...i thought everyone would be fighting(...with me)...and since your not thats good i didnt poke a nerve. The ignorance is also covered by some people who wear heels (male) iv found also on one or two of the other boards. Example... I told a member (in private) that i shaved my legs (from the knee down because heels (in my opinion) only look right with shaved legs, but each to his/her own) and then the member turned around and said that i was gay and he knew i was, even altho he is wearing heels himself but doesnt shave his legs..... :rofl: J
Dr. Shoe Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 I was nearly kicked out of the RAF for my transvestism. During the investigation, the investigators asked my current girlfriend whether I was gay. She said: "Honey, that man is not gay!" As it was shortly after a weekend of continuous passion! A few people do assume I'm gay but that's up to them. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
bigj3650 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 The thing is, sorry for my ignorance again, speaking as a "normal" person (define normal...lol) but Dr. Shoe you dont "look gay" and most people say that your gay if you look it as do i on occasion...but even i have to admit you looked good decked out as a female... :rofl: but on the other hand (sorry firefox) but firefox does to people who are like that...like i was but i didnt comment because i couldnt because i wear heels but only inside at the moment untill i get some selfconfidence back...(thats my excuse and im sticking to it ) J
nhoj62 Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 this seems to be a lively issue i have been called gay many a time, mostly by people at school who did not know me at all, cause there are two types of people in the world, the ones that get on well with me an the ones that don`t, combined with the fact that i get on better with girls than i do with guys at first contact, it gives the people i don`t get on with the impression that i'm gay. when i am not. thus because of this i got bullied alot at school for the first four years then by the fifth an final year i had had enough, so i just belted people who looked at me wrong. the situation carried on at college but i managed to get a handle on my temper(vicious beast it is two)and manage to leave college with no bad feelings towards anyone, it also tort me a few lessona about how to act an make friends better so by uni i had no probs at all, but i could still spot it happening to others due to people ignorance/lack of understanding and i can spot who is likely to be gay an who is not. i have worked with gay people they are just normal like u an me. having said all that i still get the odd look or comment, but i just brush it off as now it doesn`t bother me. any way this is getting long later people nhoj62 the higher the boot, the higher the heel, the better the feeling!
avril Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 This is starting to get a mite provocative now, what with talk of 'normal' people and looking gay. Just how does one DO that? I'm amused at the idea of shaving from the knees down. Maybe you're only half gay then? And if anyone here thinks the TG issue is confusing try understanding where Tranny Fanciers are coming from. They try to chat us up, knowing we're really blokes in frocks. If they want to chat up blokes there are oodles of gay bars/clubs around, but no, they go to tranny venues to chat up us. How's that for self-delusion/denial. Hee hee
bigj3650 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 shaving from the knees down is the best option for me because it takes to long to do both legs in 30 minutes...PROPERLY and as i said "normal" but try and define normal...there is no difinition because everyone is different so there can be no "normal" and well in retrospect as far as i know i cant be gay because men do seriously freak me out...i have only made one male friend and hes the guy i talk to in college the other two i only talk to because i can get some info from them
Bubba136 Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 Avril wrote, bigJ3650: I'm amused at the idea of shaving from the knees down. Maybe you're only half gay then? Shaving from the knees down doesn't make half him gay....he wouild be half gay if he shaved the right leg and not the left one. :rofl: Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
PJ Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 When I used to frequent crossdresser chat rooms, many males would initiate a chat with me thinking I was gay. They were very surprised when I informed them that the majority of crossdressers are heterosexual. Even when I first learned this fact, I was very surprised and revlieved. click .... click .... click .... The sensual sound of stiletto heels on a hard surface.
mk4625 Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 Some people thought I was gay even without knowing I wore women's boots. Michael
TXT-1 Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 I know that I am straight, so if anyone calls me a gay or otherwise I just keep on walking! later, TXT-1
genebujold Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 Only by morons who have yet to look up the definition of "gay."
Rockpup Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 gene: "why, yes I am happy, thanks for noticing" For myself.. I'm usually confused for someone who is straight. *Shrug* And no, -being- gay doesnt always give you the mental freedom to wear anything you want. Yes, I can wear 5" heels and short shorts to get the groceries.. I would not feel comfortable doing so. I may be odd.. Found a pair of Tommy Hillfiger boots with a 4" heel that could be confused with being a western pair.. so what do I do? Get a pair of longer jeans so the heel doesnt show.. I'm a wuss.. I admit it I'd also rather just wear what I want without causing a fuss.. and I need to get over my slight mental block so I can wear them out in the open, thus over time reducing the chances of it causing a fuss for anyone else. Except maybe Oral Roberts.. but I think he's still hung up on Tinky Winky and the magic bag... Although, I did have intent to wear these boots in Miami while out with a friend from high school.. even with pants that would expose them *Shock* But, alas.. he was busy setting up a trip to CA.. so other then a quick dinner we spent the night at his place so he could line things up. Although he doesnt have a problem with me wearing them, and chances are any bar he'd take me to would be a gay bar... Ok.. I'm rambling.. long day.. just blew out the rear axle on my dad's camero, so it's been a rough night. I'll be quiet now.. (can you tell I have ADD?) btw.. still not sure why being confused for gay is a threat to someone who is straight. From my personal experience (as in what I went through) it's those who are not sure who get a bit hostile when the question comes up at the wrong time. As DrShoe said, ask the girlfriend.. she will know the diference between someone who's up for the action, or just going through the motions. Jim (formerly known as "JimC")
chris100575 Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 Being genuinely mistaken for being gay wouldn't be a problem for me at all. However being called gay as a term of abuse would be, as it's indicative of the fact that you're dealing with an aggressive moron. Chris
Rockpup Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 (ok, got some sleep) True.. being asked nicely and being called a fag are two diferent situations. A couple of times I've been asked nicely. I do remember a couple situations where "fucking faggots" was used. And trust me, when you hear that in a rough neighborhood after kissing your b/f goodnight.. you get nervous. Jim (formerly known as "JimC")
genebujold Posted October 10, 2004 Posted October 10, 2004 gene: "why, yes I am happy, thanks for noticing" Jim When, and where, precisely, did I say this? And since when does a comment reflecting on someone else's misunderstanding of the term reflect poorly on someone who really is? No offense, implied or stated, was directed your way. Please keep in mind the fact that when talking about some sensitive subjects, the use of words or phrases can be a bit tricky. I invite you to re-read my post! The only "morons" I found are those who're unable to use a dictionary. I'd use the same comment against those who called me either the "religious right" or the "political left" on the basis of my point of view on one issue, or if someone called me a "scientist" because I use the scientific method, or an "engineer" because I produce and work with blueprints. Such generalism and judgmentalism merely reflects the poster's lack of understanding of the myriads of ways and the extent which the various parties overlap. When you get down to the details, the overlap is immense - it's the media that causes most polarization, primarily to fan the flames of hype and increase sales. Please refrain from falling into their trap. Back to my point - calling someone "gay" because of what they happen to be wearing is lunacy. It's like calling a guy a "lumberjack" because he's wearing a plaid shirt.
JeffB Posted October 10, 2004 Posted October 10, 2004 Yeah, I've been called gay once or twice. The last time a stranger asked if I were gay when he saw me wearing pumps, I said, "Yes! I'm happy to be alive and well!" Anyhoo, it's funny that the ignorant and uninformed equate footwear with sexual orientation. I mean, I've never heard of gay men wearing women's shoes, hell, I work with an openly gay man, and he wears loafers every day! I just can't understand where people get their opinions from. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
Firefox Posted October 10, 2004 Posted October 10, 2004 It comes down to simple ability to think for yourself and process information from different sources. The ability to use a dictionary is also useful. If someone says "that's gay" or "that looks gay" they're just broadcasting the fact that they are stupid. Also, depending on how it is said, they could be homophobic as well which is another form of ignorance. A person may well have a low IQ but is there any need to go around holding up a big sign effectively saying, "look at me, I'm a moron". It would be better for them to accept their disabilities so that everyone could live their lives in peace, help each other, and make the best of what they do have, regardless of their IQ or sexual orientation.
Rockpup Posted October 10, 2004 Posted October 10, 2004 Gene: my comment was ment to be along the lines of JeffB's "Yes! I'm happy to be alive and well!" Sorry for any confusion Jim (formerly known as "JimC")
Heelfan Posted October 10, 2004 Posted October 10, 2004 What it really boils down to is the difference between cross-dressers, Transvestites etc. and homosexuals. Although the following fact surprised me greatly to start with, it is firmly established that very, very few cross-dressers and transvestites are homosexual. Bearing in mind that many of us street-heeling guys regard ourselves as "Transvestives from the knees downwards", it follows that the vast majority of us are straight, heterosexual guys, with wives, girlfriends and female partners. Having attended virtually every UK Heel-Meet for the last sixteen months and one Euro Heel-Meet, I have got to know Firefox and well over twenty other members, and my point appears to be born out. Any newcomers to our Heel-Meets will find that, given our unusual taste in footwear, we are a remarkably straight, interesting and intelligent set of guys. Some wives and girlfriends come along too, and I am sure they would agree with my assessment. Cheerfully yours, Heelfan Onwards and upwards!
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