Inappropriate or not?

[Gige]

Hi all:

Allow me to set the situation. Today I was wearing a pair of 3”/3.5cm, dark blue, block heel pumps at the office - a pair of shoes that are very appropriate for a professional setting if one wants to wear heels (see photo). Around noon, I decided that I wanted to stretch my legs and clear my mind prior to having to switch gears from one monstrous case to another monstrous case. I figured that I would step out of the building and possibly walk to the medium sized park across the street. I stepped on to the elevator/lift and as it stopped on the floor below mine, two women stepped into the car. The conversation that followed was very close to the following:

Woman #1: “It just started raining.”

Woman #2: No or not heard response.

Me: Oh man…that stinks! I wanted to go outside and walk around for a bit.”

At that point, woman #2 looks down at my feet and says, “How can you wear those? I can’t wear heels." The manner in which the comment was delivered did not seem to be challenging me on my wearing of heels or the pair I was wearing was somehow inappropriate. Moreso, it seemed that she was expressing a general disbelief that any person can walk in heels. Regardless, the comment caught me off guard as, usually, comments given by women are very much along the lines of the fact that they love my heels and if I can wear them, then do so! Not to digress, but I often respond to compliments with a very warmly stated, "It never goes out of style to have style" which often gets a laugh or at least a smile!

Me: “Oh, they’re very comfortable. The material is canvas, so there is a lot of stretch to them,” which was/is true. 

At that point, the doors opened and I held out my hand to signal for them to exit first and as they did so, I wished them both a good afternoon. I stepped outside and it was raining hard enough to prevent me from walking to the park. As I thought about it, I should have responded along the lines of “You should see what I consider to be high heels” or moreso, “Because I can!” Not wanting to create a scene, I responded in a nice and professional capacity. Just for clarity, woman #2 was approximately in her mid to late 40s, about 5’ 6”/167cm, and a proportional frame to her height - not heavy but not thin. She was wearing thong style sandals but not flip flops and jeans - effort level of the outfit, about a 2.5 (on a scale of 1-10). 

Later in the afternoon when my spreadsheets were giving me headaches, eye strain, and seizures, I decided to ask some of the other females in the office, both of whom told me they “can’t” wear heels, why such was the case. I explained to each the situation, and that I was truly curious and sought an understanding of why some women may be able to wear 5”/12-13cm heels at age 80 and others cannot wear 2”/5cm heels at age 20.  I was not at all wanting to be judgmental but was only seeking knowledge. The responses I received were not only enlightening but quite helpful. It seems that foot shape and size are the primary reasons they do not wear heels. One woman explained that she has small but wide feet, as well as a low arch, which makes finding a well fitting pair very difficult while the other indicated that she had narrow feet, especially in the heel area. The latter, who is my colleague, added that if she wore a pair of pumps, her foot would not be wide enough to remain in the shoe, and she would walk right out of them regardless of height. She added that she often wears lace-up shoes or those with a strap across the top of foot so as to keep her foot in place. In a sense of friendship and humor, my colleague stated that she has often seen me wearing heels and wondered how I do it as to her, they look very uncomfortable.  

It is important to note that only one other person who works in my building on a regular basis (my big boss!) ever puts any effort whatsoever into presenting him/herself in a professional manner. As I have expressed on many past occasions, lounging and/or frump (or both) is often the 'style du jour' throughout the entirety of my office building. Likewise, only once in the two-and-one-half years I have worked in my building have I seen a woman wearing heels (higher than 2”/5cm) and/or a skirt for the day.  Thus, the only person who wears heels on a regular basis is me, and there are time where I wear my trainers rather than heels to mix up the look a bit. 

So, was the question posed to me inappropriate or not?  

Thoughts?

Can't get my photo to upload....

13 minutes ago, Gige said:

 

This is an on-line photo of the pumps I was wearing. "Midnight" by Aerosoles. 

Edited yesterday at 01:52 AM by Gige

[Shyheels]

It doesn’t sound to me like anyone said or thought your footwear was inappropriate, only that for reasons of their own they didn’t wear heels themselves. All of them seem to give direct physical reasons why heels didn’t work for them, not that they were somehow inappropriate for the office 

[Cali]

I have been wearing heels to work (and almost everywhere else) for over 10 years. I have heard the “How can you wear those? I can’t wear heels"  statement hundreds of times.

Here are some on the reasons I have heard and some I have reasoned myself.

(1) Their feet got wider when they got pregnant and they can't get heels that fit, now.  A very valid reason.

(2) They ruin their feet when they were young by wear ill fitting heels.

(3) They never learned how, they have weak ankles, never ran or played sports, so they never strengthen their ankle.

(4) They wore running (trainers for the Brits) their whole life and never developed the balance needed to wear heels. I watched a college graduation 10 years ago and you could see those women have trouble walking in heels.

(5) They buy heels solely on looks and not fit, so they look pretty but never fits right. Result: the heels hurt their feet when they walk. That leads to them to equating heels with pain.

[bluejay]

Giege, I have that same pair of pumps in your picture and I love them!

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

[mlroseplant]

I too have wondered why I have heard that same comment over and over again, "Oh, I can't wear heels." Or, alternatively, "I can't wear heels anymore." I understand that there are some valid physical reasons why somebody can't wear heels, or at least not for very long. However, thinking back to my own experience, I think a lot of these obstacles can be overcome. It's just that overcoming the physical challenge of wearing heels requires a lot of work, and I don't think most women want to put in that kind of effort. Or perhaps it would never occur to them that it's a skill rather than just a fashion choice.

In any case, it's generally a conversation that can't go well. This is why I tend to say very little in reply to such comments, and do much as you did, saying something like, "Ehhh, they're really not all that bad."

[pebblesf]

12 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I too have wondered why I have heard that same comment over and over again, "Oh, I can't wear heels." Or, alternatively, "I can't wear heels anymore." I understand that there are some valid physical reasons why somebody can't wear heels, or at least not for very long. However, thinking back to my own experience, I think a lot of these obstacles can be overcome. It's just that overcoming the physical challenge of wearing heels requires a lot of work, and I don't think most women want to put in that kind of effort. Or perhaps it would never occur to them that it's a skill rather than just a fashion choice.

In any case, it's generally a conversation that can't go well. This is why I tend to say very little in reply to such comments, and do much as you did, saying something like, "Ehhh, they're really not all that bad."

I think you make a valid point here.   The women may feel just a bit "threatened" by your great style looking so good in heels,  they "justify" giving up on heels with the various explanations.  Don't ge me wrong, I have the utmost respect for most women and understand that their bodies have been put through much more stress/strain/changes than us guys can imagine....