An insult? Not sure...

[Gige]

This is an exercise for purely debate purposes as I do not know what to make of this situation - let me set the scene. Today's outfit consisted of a light plum colored short sleeved top, a black (almost) mini skirt, lightly patterned tights, and a pair of black Vince Camuto Gessyca pumps which have ~3" heel. I accented this with a black beret and 2cm black hoop earring. In all, a ridiculously cute outfit. After work and a stop at the local wine bar afterwards, I engaged in my favorite least desirable activity - grocery shopping. As I was doing so, I clearly heard an old cranky person (male) say "Only in America." I know it was directed at me as there were few other people within an ear shot of this person. I ignored it and went about my way as he headed over to the check-out lane. I was tempted to head over there and ask him what he meant by his remark but determined it was not worth my time. What is interesting or of concern it that this is not the first time I have encountered this person and his remark. A few weeks ago, the same set of details occurred and similar to today, I ignored it. I am not sure what to make of this and wonder if it is an insult or simple commentary. 

Thoughts?       

Edited Saturday at 02:44 AM by Gige

[Shyheels]

I guess, to be blunt, my thinking is: who cares? This guy, whoever he is, has his opinions and the poor manners to make what sounds like gratuitous and disparaging remarks. He's not worth your time. 

[mlroseplant]

It is hard to know what to do in such a situation. It depends on how hard core hateful the guy is. Some people can be reached, and some cannot. The question is, is it worth it?

[pebblesf]

OK, well I wouldn't try to engage with him for sure, unless he seems to be following you or confronts you with comments.  It's hard to know just how his seemingly negative comments should be interpreted.  Do you feel like he is going out of his way to find you in the store?  Many men are very frustrated,  outwardly negative and critical.  But who knows what their true feelings are, they probably don't realize it either.  Perhaps just super frustrated because others such as yourself have the courage to wear cool gear that he can only secretly fantasize about wearing....

[mlroseplant]

`Given 24 hours to think about it, I've had several experiences with grumpy old men which were similar to Gige's experience. I swear I am not making this up--they have all said something to the effect of, "Golly gee, those shoes must be awfully comfortable!" The funny thing about these encounters is that you're going about your business, thinking about something else, just living life. To be suddenly yanked out of your own world and your own thoughts, and be expected to come up with a zinger on the spot, that's a difficult situation, and I'm not usually up to the task. I can remember replying to such people, "Believe it or don't, they're really not all that bad." Which, although 100% true, is not a great comeback to a remark that is obviously meant to be insulting, but whatever. At least I don't freeze up like I used to at the beginning of my high heeled journey.

[Shyheels]

My intuitive comeback line to a crack like “Only in America” would be -“Isn’t it wonderful.” 

[pebblesf]

6 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

`Given 24 hours to think about it, I've had several experiences with grumpy old men which were similar to Gige's experience. I swear I am not making this up--they have all said something to the effect of, "Golly gee, those shoes must be awfully comfortable!" The funny thing about these encounters is that you're going about your business, thinking about something else, just living life. To be suddenly yanked out of your own world and your own thoughts, and be expected to come up with a zinger on the spot, that's a difficult situation, and I'm not usually up to the task. I can remember replying to such people, "Believe it or don't, they're really not all that bad." Which, although 100% true, is not a great comeback to a remark that is obviously meant to be insulting, but whatever. At least I don't freeze up like I used to at the beginning of my high heeled journey.

I hear ya.... I usually come up with snappy replies about four hours after the encounter..

[Shyheels]

I don’t usually have that problem. I’m snappy on the comeback - it seems to be a family trait - but it’s not always a great thing.

Edited yesterday at 06:14 PM by Shyheels

[Gige]

Well, again, I am not sure what to make of it other than to say that making something of it may be a waste of breath and time.  I agree with@Shyheels that the best response would be along the lines of yes, it is great that such happens in America.  I am not sure what the person who utters such comments is intending to convey but I would never take any action that would prevent him from expressing his opinion(s).  It is just a shame that my dress, which is so trivial in the big picture of the world, would upset someone. I suppose in a weird way, my dressing like I do has the intended affect I want, which is to be out and be seen. This is not to say that I dress with the intent of making people notice me, but more along the lines of "I'm here and this is how I want to dress." I also agree with @pebblesf that such comments may be a motivated by envy but cognize that narrow/closedmindedness may also be a driving factor. It is a very liberating experience, however, to be out and about in a way in which I want to present/express myself rather than conforming to how someone would like for me to be dressed. Regardless, given how very comfortable I am to be out in a pair of heels and the numerous positive comments and compliments I have received, such a comment just rolled off my back and onto the floor. 

 

Edited 20 hours ago by Gige

[Cali]

The only comment like that was while I was putting my booties on after going through airport screening. I respond by saying," faster to put my shoes back on" as I zipped both booties on while he was still getting his first shoe on.