What's your technique for buying shoes?

[Firefox]

Many guys feel a bit embarrassed when it comes to buying "female" shoes in a shop. It's never worried me, but share your personal tips and thoughts with other board members in this thread..

[Highluc]

I prefer to go in the shops and try my shoes extensively before making a purchase. In the beginning my furtive buys without good tries lead to many shoes stuck into the closet because being ill fitted. I never had any nasty remarks in the shops and most sales people were very helpfull. Lately most of them know me very well and they treat me as any other customer, even if the store is full. I even get a warm welcome and priority service when they see me coming in, knowing pretty well I again will not be able to resist another new pair.

[Francis]

I, too, used to do the 'sneak into shop, wait until no-one was looking and then sheepishly go to the counter with my selection' type buying. Now it's a completely different ball game. If I don't try them on before I buy, I don't feel comfortable. The added advantage is that if they are too tight, you can always ask the assistants if they have the next size up. Some of them give you a strange look because it's a bloke trying the shoes, but they must oblige you because you are a customer. No customers, no wages! Remind them of that If you get an awkward one For all of you that reckon you can't do it, just remember we've been there. If we can do it, so can you. It is your right as a human being to wear what you like.

[Dave Lipstick]

Same as you guys. I used to be a real scaredy-cat, then I went through the "cover story" phase. Now I buy what I want when I want and have fun chatting up the staff at the same time. Some assistants are interested, some frosty, but most are just wanting to make a sale.

[ShockQueen]

I too fell into that mold. These days, I have a lot of supportive friends, and the shops don't give me any hassle. I think it's because I'm in a larger city now, and not out in the middle of nowhere. If only I knew then what I know now...*sigh*...how many of us have wished THAT?

[Carolyn]

Sorry to butt in on your forum guys, but I've often seen guys browsing and even trying on shoes on our side of the shop. If the shoe fits, wear it I say, but I guess your feet are usually too big I've even bought mens hiking boots from the "other" side, what's the big deal? Men's shoes are too big for me but I can fit size 39 with socks. ~Caz

[loveheel]

I don't really have a technique. First I made all kind of excuses, like 'They are for a special party', but that stuff got old fast. Now I find it quite liberating to just ask for my size (10W or 11) and when they come out ask if I can try them on. Never really had any problems. On some occasions, browsing through the women's section in stores I have even had a sales person approach me with the question: "Would you like to try something on " So I think they know exactly what is going on and have seen it all before.

[Firefox]

Some good responses guys and gals. Thanks for sharing. I can take either a 40 or 41, that is size 7 or 8 in UK sizes. I know I can fit one of these so it's always worth me trying. However. I can understand the problems for someone with a larger foot. I can see how it may be awkward if you can't get them on. In that case, just buy the largest size they have and stretch them or get them stretched professionaly. When it comes to buying shoes and browsing, I always make a point of sitting down and trying on some pairs to pave the way for other people. I have done this all over London and the Home Counties. I'll even sit next to women or girls trying on shoes. I've never ever had a problem in the 15 years or so I've been doing this. Sometimes I might have a conversation with one of the other customers if the oppurtunity arises. Most women are pleased to find a guy interested in shoes.

[quartz]

when i was in my 20's and 30's i used all kinds of cover stories and often just went in and bought something and got the hell out of there as fast as i could. i had a few sizing disapointments but i for a long time i stuck to brands that i had bought successfully already. i'm 48 now and sometime around 5 years ago i gradually started trying the shoes on at the store, usually in the most inconspicuous place i could find. i'm still very shy when it comes to doing this, but if i spot a pair that i love i will try them on briefly in the store. it helps if i find a female assistant, they seem to be much more tolerant of guys playing around with ladies shoes, and some of them that i have met have been quite enthusiastic about the whole process. for the last 2 or 3 years however, i have bought the majority of my shoes on ebay. i have bought a number of shoes that didn't fit, but the selection there is vastly greater than what i can find in the stores, even here in los angeles. and the prices are a lot lower there. i have learned what my size is in practically every brand now, either through trial and error or by going into stores and trying them on, so my rate of success in buying shoes without trying them on first is much better now.

[Joak]

Well my "technique" is to order shoes - I still don't know a local tsore were I would be able to get the shoes I'm looking for - at least not in my size.... best wishes Joak

[Francis]

sorry to go off topic slightly, but... in reply to Quartz's post; >it helps if i find a female assistant, they seem to be much more tolerant of guys playing around with ladies shoes. Have you noticed that a female assistant will help anyone while the male assistants will usually only help a female customer with female style shoes? Especially if the female is wearing a short skirt! I'm sorry if this sounds a bit sexist, but I have seen male assistants literally fighting each other to get to assist the woman in the short skirt.

[Firefox]

I've not noticed that. I find they're all willing to help, but one does see more female assistants for the women's shoe section so I do tend to get served more by them due to numbers. I'm not complaining

[BobHH]

In the beginning, it was fear and excuses. Not any more. With large size stilettos, most stores that carry them expect men customers, and the fetish shoe shops expect you to try them on. Otherwise, the Internet is OK, in my experience. However, there is starting to be a proliferation of inexpensive Chinese stilettos on Ebay that are not as graceful in style or probably the quality that one expects.

[Francis]

Yeah, I've noticed that the listings do show much more and they all are manufactured in the far east. Depending who they then get them from usually determines how your returns policy is. I have a few pairs of malaysian origin and haven't had much cause for complaint, but I do know that some people get a pair from a bad batch and end up cursing that brand. However the sellers of these shoes/boots on ebay are obviously looking at selling to men. I've only met one woman with large feet. She wore a size 10UK.

[Calv]

I've bought many pairs of shoes over the counter, although I haven't tried too many pairs on in the shop but most places I shop at have a good returns policy anyway. I have never had any comments from the shop staff. Funniest time I remember was last when I went into Next in Coventry, for a pair of court shoes and the girl who served me was a work colleagues daughter! (Although we had recently become ex colleages when the office closed down). She didn't say anything about the heels and neither did her mum next time we met.

[hades]

There is only one store I feel comfortable trying on stuff. But all the stores I shop at have good return policies, hence I'm not too afraid that I'll waste my money. There is only one shoe I bought which I couldn't return [was bought as a 'final purchas'], that didn't fit well, but was only $10CAD so I'm not overly upset. hades

[Bob]

Either: A. Buy online B. Go to a shop, find what I want, and buy it Simple really

[squirrelheels]

How would you guys suggest I go about it? I'm 16, and I'm still at school. I'd quite like to keep my reputation at school... and if I was seen perusing the 'ladies' section of say Schuh or Barratts (shops I know girls of my age frequent), or worse buying 'ladies' shoes, I know they would react badly, and it would end up going around the entire school. How do you suggest I avoid this? Thanks, SH

[Bob]

Squirrelheels, Do you have access to the internet? If so, you could buy online (most reputable companys do have a return policy in case the shoes are the wrong size) other than that, just be brave! Or you could go shopping with a girlfriend, then it won't look so odd to be browsing in the womens section. Tip, when buying clothing in the women's department, most people just assume you are buying for girlfriend/SO

[Yamyam]

I find just going in, having a browse, and then buying what you want works. I've been giggled at once, and stared at once, but I've managed to buy loads of pairs of shoes without any other problem. I always go somewhere with female assistants, but apart from that, just go for it. I think if you look confident, people will just leave you. If you look suspicious, that's when people will watch you. Brantano is great, as is my local Bacon's. I travel sometimes, so I get to check out lots of different places. (But I daren't go in my local Asda, because that's where I do my weekly food shop!)

[Firefox]

Yes Brantano is a good one for anyone a bit nervous. The shoes are laid out in sizes with both left and right and box on display in big wharehouse type aisles, so you don't need to ask anyone anything. Just try your shoes on and then go and pay for them. They will take them out of the box when you pay for them though. This is to check you are not buying high heels if you are a guy so the police can be called .... no, joking, it's to check that you selected a left and right shoe of the same size! They always do it, so don't worry about it. To Squirrel - You will need to go to the next town if you are that worried what people think. I realise it's difficult when you are younger, but in two years time you may well have your own transport, and more indedpendence, so hang on in there and look to the future

[hoverfly]

I have had good luck in gussing my size with out trying them on in the store. But if they don't fit I just return them. I never had a bad remark or even a smirk from the desk clerk. Just like NIKE "just do it"

[Firefox]

The next step is trying them on in the store. Just do "that" like Nike too You won't regret it.

[Francis]

there's nothing like trying them on in stores. if you're a little nervous, don't be, the sales people are there to help you. they want a sale from you regardless of what you are buying and will bend over backwards to assist, especially if they are commission based when you done it once, you'll want to do it again. in the end you'll wonder why you were nervous in the first place

[chip7X]

I finally went into a store this week. Saw a sexy pair of blade high heels boots with pointed toe. The height of heel was probably 4in. I looked at it and asked for a size 12 (U.S. Womens). I was very direct about askiing. The lady sales clerk was very nice and helpful. However, they didn't have my size. She smiled and appologized but showed me other pairs of heels I might like. She seemed to be very casual and didn't look at me weird. One drawback is that I seem to get this from most expensive shoe stores. Going into a department store I might get a different reaction.

[HighBoots]

For the first time I dared to try on the boots I bougth a few days ago in the shop. But believe me, I was very very nervous. And guess what ? Nothing happened, noone even noticed me, and the saleswoman even gave me some advice about how to care about my brand new pair for boots. I think that in the shops, the danger is almost zero, and you can barely get in trouble. I will keep this in mind for my future purchases !

[terayon]

squirellheels, im in the exact same boat as you! I only have my learners permit, so i need my mom or sister to drive with me anywhere = so going to the shops are out....ive ordered my first pair of boots from ebay, and pending arrival the whole deal was very pleasant and i will definetly buy more!

[JeffB]

Like most of us, I was very shy and nervous and self-conscious about buying women's shoes at first, but I just kept at it and at it and at it until the nervousness faded away and it no longer became a big deal. It's important to have the mindset that you're a shopper willing to spend good money on something you want, and you shouldn't have to be nervous about what you intend to buy. Whereas in the beginning, I wouldn't dare to ask for a salesperson for help, now, I do that regularly, from both genders. Now, as a 13 wide, I can't go just anywhere, but at the very few places I do go, I've been treated fairly and justly. So, in the end, you just have to go in the store and do it, again and again and again until your apprehension goes away.

[Van]

For a long time I was like many others on this board. I didn't dare to ask. Then one day, i just asked something like "is this model available in 43 ?" ... the Earth didn't stop revolving, the Police wasn't called in, it was not mentioned in the local paper that a guy has been buying ladies shoes for his own use ... I was just a customer like any other and was treated like any other customer. Wish I had dared twenty years ago ... For those of you who live in small town, villages, I understand you may feel uncomfortable. Perhaps the shop assistant has been selling shoes to your mum for the last thirty years and has known you as a toddler. In that case, just hitch a ride to the nearest city. But never look ashamed or weird. You are just buying shoes i.e. pieces of leather (in the case) or plain plastic. Nothing illegal. So don't wait twenty years as I did. Cheers Vanessa

[alfheel]

I definitely confirm that trying on heels in the store is a great experience, and it can be very addictive. I also confirm that saleswomen are much more pleasant with men trying on women's shoes. When I first planned buying heels, I got them from a department store, did not try them on, they were way too small, and I was not brave enough to bring them back for an exchange... But hey, I was young and silly Now I don't care about other people and it once happened I tried shoes in one of my favorite shops that was about to close, surrounded by ladies who were looking at me, and also trying on shoes. Most of their looks reflect admiration, and I got nice commentaries on the height of the heels I was wearing. This day was a great day ! I also tried online shops and have been very happy with them (and got great prices...). But the feeling of tryong on shoes in the store is unique and definitely worth it !