Outfit advice

[Danvan1600]

Hi guys and girls, I'm going to a wedding party tomorrow afternoon, it's at a friends house who has a big lawn/field and they have a marquee etc it's a posh do, everyone knows I'm a part cd but not transgender, just wear what I like! Is this outfit acceptable? Formal black trousers, I'll be wearing a suit jacket also for top half 

[freestyle75]

First of all, only you know whether everyone would be fine with you appearing there in high heels. Even with friends who know that I wear heels, I would ask them first whether they would be ok with me appearing with heels on their wedding party - it's a special event for them, so I want to honor their wishes. Not every guest might be ok with our choice of footwear.

But let's assume really everyone is fine with you wearing heels. You mentioned that it is a large lawn/field that this party is taking place. You really want to wear stiletto heels to a party that's taking place on a lawn? Seriously?!  -- I would rather recommend wedges, which are much more comfortable if you are walking on grass. Read this if you don't believe me.

So... apart from the shoes yes, but the heels are a no-go for me, simply for practical reasons.

[Danvan1600]

Thanks for the advice, although I have worn these shoes in a similar situation before and there's that much weight on the toes with them being so high they aren't too difficult, where I am is also very dry at the minute also 

[bailey]

Those heels are "HOT"... If no one approves you will still know that you looked good. If they know about you... then they want you there to share in their special day. Go with it and I applaud your individuality.

[LovesHiHeels]

Show some respect and ask the bride if it's ok to wear heels at  her wedding

[mlroseplant]

I am struggling with this one. On the one hand, it goes without saying that you should respect the couple's wishes, but if they know you already.  .  . well, let's put it this way, if it were me, whoever it was would say, "Could you please just wear normal men's shoes to our wedding?" and that would be the end of it. This has actually happened before (not at a wedding, however).

On the other hand, it's not like you're trying to upstage the bride or ruin her day. It's not like you're planning on wearing something so outrageous that the whole crowd will turn as one and forget why they are there for a moment or two. In fact, since you're wearing 100% normal men's clothing (except for shoes), I bet a healthy percentage of the guests won't even notice. There's a small part of me that gets riled up trying to imagine a situation where a woman would need to ask permission to wear something to a wedding. You're the one who knows these people. You'll have to make a judgment call on this one yourself.

Oh, and there's no way in hell I would ever wear those stiletto heels if I knew I was going to be on turf for more than just a few minutes, dry or not. There's just too much that can go wrong. If nothing else, I wouldn't want to take a chance on ruining my nice shoes.

Good luck to you, and let us know how things turn out! Don't leave us hanging, now.  .  .

[Thighbootguy]

I agree with all the advice so far.  You know the folks involved and whether they would be Ok with you wearing heels. However I would NOT wear a stiletto heel, no matter how high, to a lawn party as it will be hard on you and the shoes.  Also a heel that high especially with the hidden platform is meant for walking on a solid flat surface.  Walking on one little unexpected imperfection in the ground will seriously twist your ankle and maybe send you to the ground (been there done that).  @freestyle75 recommended wedges which would be much better for walking on a lawn, but chose a lower height for the heel (consider flats).  You can twist an ankle just as badly in a wedge as a stiletto.

@mlroseplant correctly suggested that if you are wearing a jacket and black slacks (especially if they cover part of the heel) no one will notice...that is unless you have a serious misstep and wind up on the ground.

I have heard that health care is pretty good in the U.K. so they should be able to take care of your ankle.

Do let us know how it goes.

Edited June 26, 2016 by Thighbootguy

[Danvan1600]

Thanks! I have worn these and others in similar situations before and coped pretty well but I'm still undecided if I'm even going and have no idea regarding what's goin to happen later on 

[Danvan1600]

Maybe I should just wear these and not have to worry about ruining them or upstaging anyone 

[Danvan1600]

I got it wrong anyway it's the after do I'm going to a 7pm, I bottled it but as there are only a minimal number of guests going of whom I know 99% of, they want me to do it as they are very fun easy going people, that's the update lol

[Thighbootguy]

3 hours ago, Danvan1600 said:

Maybe I should just wear these and not have to worry about ruining them or upstaging anyone 

Well I'm sure the folks would appreciate having the lawn aerated.

I don't even want to ask what you did to those poor shoes (but they look like they took a long hike in crushed stone) but if you do want to wear them (not to the wedding), cut the loose leather off and get some black spray paint (or even black electricians tape) for the heels.  They won't pass for fancy dress but they wouldn't look too bad for just knocking around.  I figure you must still like them (comforable) or you wouldn't still have them.

[Danvan1600]

44 minutes ago, Thighbootguy said:

Well I'm sure the folks would appreciate having the lawn aerated.

I don't even want to ask what you did to those poor shoes (but they look like they took a long hike in crushed stone) but if you do want to wear them (not to the wedding), cut the loose leather off and get some black spray paint (or even black electricians tape) for the heels.  They won't pass for fancy dress but they wouldn't look too bad for just knocking around.  I figure you must still like them (comforable) or you wouldn't still have them.

Good advice I could do haha, they have just had 3 years of never been re tipped, but as you say, they are probably the most comfortable pair I own!

[SF]

Hey now.....  I'm not CD, gay or transgender, but I love to wear gals shoes and high heels!!!   My only concern would be waking in heels in grass or soft ground, you might ruin a nice pair of shoes!!  I have learned that the hard way a few times.  You are the best judge of what is appropriate when and where.  Have fun in your heels!!!   Take care...  sf

[Danvan1600]

Okay so call me mad etc lol, but what thighbootguy said earlier made me think and I decided to botch up and clean my already ruined pleaser heels as I didn't want to ruin any others and I have no block heels, I am still out now will try and get pics but don't wanna look wierd takin them lol, I managed to get some after I'd done the shoes earlier though, look better than the earlier pic and are under trousers anyway 

[Danvan1600]

10 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I am struggling with this one. On the one hand, it goes without saying that you should respect the couple's wishes, but if they know you already.  .  . well, let's put it this way, if it were me, whoever it was would say, "Could you please just wear normal men's shoes to our wedding?" and that would be the end of it. This has actually happened before (not at a wedding, however).

On the other hand, it's not like you're trying to upstage the bride or ruin her day. It's not like you're planning on wearing something so outrageous that the whole crowd will turn as one and forget why they are there for a moment or two. In fact, since you're wearing 100% normal men's clothing (except for shoes), I bet a healthy percentage of the guests won't even notice. There's a small part of me that gets riled up trying to imagine a situation where a woman would need to ask permission to wear something to a wedding. You're the one who knows these people. You'll have to make a judgment call on this one yourself.

Oh, and there's no way in hell I would ever wear those stiletto heels if I knew I was going to be on turf for more than just a few minutes, dry or not. There's just too much that can go wrong. If nothing else, I wouldn't want to take a chance on ruining my nice shoes.

Good luck to you, and let us know how things turn out! Don't leave us hanging, now.  .  .

I am now home and have a full story that I will get sorted 

[Danvan1600]

Right so I went with the 'repaired' pleaser pumps, I was lucky as most of the other guests had been drinking at the afternoon party, the night started out with a mishap ( the only one luckily) as seen in the first picture, when I arrived I was shown where the toilet was as i mentioned needing to go, they have a caravan there close to where the party was held, my heel found what could only be a rotten floor and went straight through and got stuck, to which the girl I was with said "stay there" and took this picture  and then went on to say how 'thin' my heels were. After the that we returned to the marquee where everyone partied the night away, I managed ok as spent a lot of the time sat down, some areas where a lot of guests would be stood had rubber matting (which my heel went straight through at one point but no one noticed) I managed to get a few pictures when I broke off for a 'toilet break', the last pictures were taken when I got home, I kept wiping my heels clean with my fingers until later when I gave up as everyone was too drunk to notice 

[Thighbootguy]

It's amazing how good those shoes looked after you removed the contrast of the white heel.  The rotted floor board was just plain bad luck, but it is nice that the girl you were with had the presents of mind to get a picture.  Her comment on your heels surprised me, didn't she know you were wearing stiletto pumps?

It sounds like you had a good (and safe) time.  Muddy heels are one of the expenses of wearing stilettos on a soft lawn.

[Danvan1600]

4 minutes ago, Thighbootguy said:

It's amazing how good those shoes looked after you removed the contrast of the white heel.  The rotted floor board was just plain bad luck, but it is nice that the girl you were with had the presents of mind to get a picture.  Her comment on your heels surprised me, didn't she know you were wearing stiletto pumps?

It sounds like you had a good (and safe) time.  Muddy heels are one of the expenses of wearing stilettos on a soft lawn.

That's what I thought too! Yeah she knew but she was examining the bottom metal bit lol, I sure did and yep it sure is