Interesting Phone Conversation And A Question For Everyone

[Mr. X]

Lets start with the story. I replied on line to an ad for some heels that someone was selling locally. The lady answered my questions. Then she gave me her contact info to get in touch with her. At this point she doesn't know who I am, or my gender. I called her up and she answered the phone. I told her who I was and why I was calling. I was cleary a "man" on the phone and I gave my "male" name as well as part of my greeting. I told her I was interested in seeing the shoes. I was prepared to go immediately to see them if possible. Unfortunately though she said that was not possible. Now here is the interesting part. She said, and I quote. "I live out in the country, but my husband works in town everyday, and he would be able to bring them into town for you if you would like to try them on." I found it cool and interesting that she just assumed they were for me! She didn't ask if I was buying them for someone else or nothing! Thoughts? And here is the questions I had for anyone, but mainly those who are not really "out of the closet" to anyone, and who are buying shoes from someone selling privately. 1) Do you metion they are for you at the door or on the phone? 2) Do you try them on, or just take them home and take your chances? The reason I ask is because I am in "in the closet" so to speak. And I just figure the more interaction I have with people the more word may get around to someone I know about my heels. Or I could see being in public with friends or family and passing someone I purchased heels from. Then they will stop and say, hey! how are the heels? or something along those lines. So how far have you gone, or are you willing to go in such a situation, while still trying to maintaining your annonimity? It sems like a fine line. And are we willing to deal with the possible consequences if we cross it? I am not sure that I am! Thanks for listening. Interested to here the responses.

[Shafted]

Wow, lot's of questions! 1) Not really necessary is it? 2) Of course try them on. Make sure you are wearing nylons. You know, the sanitary thing. I mean really, what are your chances of running into them. Don't let paranoia get the best of you.

[Steve63130]

Most of your fears are unfounded. As Shafted said, the likelihood of publically encountering someone you bought shoes from is very small. The best strategy is to out yourself to everyone you know and then you can wear whatever you want in public without worrying about it. If you act secretive and look like you're doing something wrong or bad, then when you're caught it will be most embarrassing. If you act confident and as if you don't care if anyone knows, then so what? It's just clothing. And as a lot of guys are finding out here, some chicks dig that confidence factor and find it sexy and attractive that a guy would flaunt society's gender "rules." Steve

[ilikekicks]

So how far have you gone, or are you willing to go in such a situation, while still trying to maintaining your annonimity? It sems like a fine line. And are we willing to deal with the possible consequences if we cross it? I am not sure that I am! Thanks for listening. Interested to here the responses.

Its on you. You can stay in your ' closet ' or go and take a look at what could be some interesting purchases.

Are ' we ' willing to deal with.. Some have, some havent. The question should be are YOU willing to deal with the consequesces of maybe having some shoes you like or not?

If you are unsure, maybe someone else will buy those shoes you liked/were interested in. Maybe someone else wont?

I can speak for myself that I will buy as I choose from whom I choose at any given time such a sale/purchase is available. There are no consequences as you speak of but self imposed limits OR enjoying ourselves as we see fit.

Imagine a month from now, your out and about sitting at a traffic light and someone struts across the street wearing a pair of shoes just like the ones your presently speaking of.

I can say I have been in such a situation on both sides and once kicked myself for NOT having the fortitude to go and buy something I liked because of worry about ' what others might think '.

If your going to have others dictate how you feel in what you will buy.. its a form of mental slavery. Brake the chains.

[Guest]

I have never bought shoes like that other than a yard sale, and I did not try them on. In your case, it sounds like you gave it away that they were for you before you talked on the phone. She was ok with it so just go with it. As far as running into her , I would not worry. Even if you did, unless you were alone, I doubt she would say anything. Or as I have done, ask that this be between you and her. Jokingly ask if you get a discount for trying them on in front of her. But it sounds like she is taking great caution sinced u are a man.

[Jimnj3]

Most of your fears are unfounded. As Shafted said, the likelihood of publically encountering someone you bought shoes from is very small.

The best strategy is to out yourself to everyone you know and then you can wear whatever you want in public without worrying about it. If you act secretive and look like you're doing something wrong or bad, then when you're caught it will be most embarrassing. If you act confident and as if you don't care if anyone knows, then so what? It's just clothing. And as a lot of guys are finding out here, some chicks dig that confidence factor and find it sexy and attractive that a guy would flaunt society's gender "rules."

Steve

So very true, Steve, as I have found this out myself also!

[Steve63130]

ILK, good response, as usual. I could kick myself for the number of times I've passed up a purchase (shoes, and many other things) and later decided to buy it but it was no longer available. I've learned that if you want something, avoid the later disappointment and buy it because in the future you might not be able to get it. Steve

[freestyle75]

While I never buy used shoes, I often bought stuff over the phone (boutique in another country and let them ship it to me). When I am shopping for stuff, I do try it on.

But let me be more specific regarding the phone stuff: I don't advertise that the shoes are for myself, but I also don't try to hide it.

As I am writing this, a pair of boots from the new fall/winter collections is on its way from Italy to the London boutique where I I ordered them via phone this week. It was actually quite funny: I phoned the boutique and had a salesgirl on the phone whom I asked whether they already had the fall winter collection available (yes). Then I asked for a fax number, where I could send a fax with the pair of boots I was looking for.

The salesgirl asked me whether I had "What's App" installed on my smartphone (yes) - and told me I should just send her the picture of the boots I was looking for (which I did). They had them available, but realized later that the left shoe in the box was a size smaller than the right one - therefore ordering them from Italy for me.

During the last few days, we sent pictures, messages, and made phone calls to exchange the exact boot type, size, credit card details and address.

• I told her that _I_ was looking for that pair of boots.
• I told her that _I_ am normally a size 41.5, but that _I_ could also use a 41 if no half sizes would be available
• I told her that she should pay special attention that the box is packaged carefully, as _I_ store my boots during summer in their original boxes.

For me, it was crystal clear that these boots were for me. Still, when the deal was made, she said I really should stop by at her boutique when I am visiting London together with my wife

Ooookay. I could have told her at this point that I am single, don't have a wife, and yes, that I am ordering these boots for myself - but who cares? It's not that I am hiding them in my closet...

After all, most people will expect that you are either buying stuff for your girlfriend (or it seems that the girlfriend gets upgraded to a wife if the items are more expensive ) or that you are a weirdo. Whatever they think - I don't care, but I have stopped trying to explain that yes, I am that guy that also wears women's shoes...

When shopping for boots in person, sometimes the salesgirls are so surprised that they get brain-scattered like an old professor. I was in London, shopping for boots at Harrods. Asked her whether she had them in my size, tried them on in two different sizes, liked them, bought them. The salesgirl said that they look great on me and tried to act cool, but was nervous the whole time.

Drove back to the hotel and realized while packing my suitcase that she had mixed up the left and right pair, so I had two different sizes in my box. Had to drive back to Harrods to get one of them exchanged for the right size...

[Dr. Shoe]

It's always a strange question to me. All you are buying is a pair of shoes. Why even worry if the vendor thinks they're for you or not?

[timgh44]

I love to try them on in front of the owner, it has always been straight forward and normal.

[HappyinHeels]

MrX- I think Shafted is right about too many irrelevant questions. I also think Dr. Shoe is spot on when she said revealing whom the shoes are for to the vendor is not important. I believe the vendor knew they were for you as most women simply would never have approached a sale for women's shoes in exactly this way. It's not a garage sale where it was announced in some way via the internet, newspaper, or posted on a corner telephone pole. A woman would tend not to go to someone's house alone where there's an expectation of no other members of the public to be there as it is perceived to be an unnecessary risk. Don't forget that women are quite intuitive about their surroundings and your phone conversation was no different. If the conversation goes that way then don't conceal it but it is not necessary to reveal who is actually going to using the shoes. HappyinHeels