Are You "like Me"?

[Luckyme]

I've had high heel fetish for as long as I can remember. I love the sight of heels, the sound and the comfort of wearing them. As with any "like", I have heels I like and heels I hate. Anything less than 5 1/2 " or more than 9" are definitely not my thing. That also goes for the "stripper" type platform heels that are a readily available in any sex shop or online store, not my thing. I prefer "high end"designers or custom made heels and I spend a disporportionate amount of time looking for them.

I would describe myself as an altocalciphiliac, a person who sees high heels as erotic objects, a source of arousal if you will. I don't crossdress, I don't wear make up or anything that would be traditionally considered as womens attire. I don't aspire to wear heels publicly with or without fear or desire of humiliation or approval. I, at times, wear heels privately for pleasure. For lack of a lengthy better description, I'm the stereotypical "regular guy" in my dress and activities, with only this exception

I've always been involved in heterosexual relationships. I've had girlfriends, been married and divorced twice and I've told only one partner the entire scope of my fetish. But all of them knew that I liked them to wear heels. The woman I did tell wasn't exactly thrilled but made a vague attempt to support it, briefly.

I've made one friend on this site that seems to be "like me" and I value his friendship. We've shared some of our triumphs and disappointments and despite a 20 year age gap, we have alot in common in regards to this topic.

He asked me one day, " what are you looking for?". My answer was this.... "I want what most people want, love, respect, support, common interests... but I also want this aspect of my life to be part of the relationship. I want a woman, that shares my shoe fetish and even wants me to wear heels, not only because she knows it turns me on but also because it turns her on." I realize that the chances of finding a woman like this is about the same as finding a flying unicorn in my bathroom. But finding someone, male or female that at least understand me would be nice.

So here we are, If you've read this far, you know if you're "like me". And this is my request. If you feel that you are "like me", post a response. If you enjoy heels in a different way, please don't comment or make a post, there are plenty of other threads for your interests and topics. If you are "like me" (male or female) and prefer a bit more privacy, send me a private message.

Please excuse any typos, misspelling, or incorrect punctuation, I'm not an english teacher.

I really hope to get some responses.

J

[jdmonto]

I think it won't be hard to find people here with those characteristics, I fit the description perfectly, finding that woman however may be as hard as you describe, but I don't think that should really be a deciding factor in a relationship, finding a tolerant and accepting woman may be good enough if she has other qualities that are important to you.

[Luckyme]

Looking from the outside, you'd think that tolerance and acceptance would be enough. For some it may be. But for me....no While a wife or girlfriend may accept and tolerate that you watch football on the weekends, what she feels inside in many cases is a dislike for football all together. Maybe its that she feels that your desire for something material replaces your need for something emmotional with her. I have an ex that "tolerated and accepted" but only briefly before it became more than she could accept or tolerate. In the beginning she said that if I liked heels, she would wear whatever I bought her 24/7. Now I'm quite certain that she didn't really mean 24/7 and I didn't force the issue. But I did fill her clost with more than 30 pairs of 5+" heels and she refused to wear any of them. Her last comment to me was that I loved heels more than her. I only replied that if that were true, all those shoes would be size 10 (my size).. In theory most any woman would be happy to get 30 pairs of shoes, the reality....not so much. J

[newheeler]

I'm afraid all those women are taken or don't want a relationship...what makes it worst that their husband probably don't care much about their partners shoes And i think most of us understand your desires and probably many of us wants same thing in life.

[ilikekicks]

"I realize that the chances of finding a woman like this is about the same as finding a flying unicorn in my bathroom. " I might be the anti-norm or oddball out on this one, but the last 2 meaningful relationships have had full acceptance and even encouragement towards the topic at hand. It might be due to myself not taking somethings so seriously or people just recognizing that I dont care what others *might* say. I dont think anyone should change who they are, but sometimes changing the company we keep leads to the situation we desire.

[meganiwish]

Are you convinced that worrying about your needs is the right way to go about it? I know that when I was younger I wanted him to show how interested he was in me. If I loved him I'd have hung by my heels from a top floor window if that's what he liked. But that's just me. Oh dear, I'm going to get requests now, aren't I?

[FreshinHeels]

Are you convinced that worrying about your needs is the right way to go about it? I know that when I was younger I wanted him to show how interested he was in me. If I loved him I'd have hung by my heels from a top floor window if that's what he liked. But that's just me.

Oh dear, I'm going to get requests now, aren't I?

I'm allready taken but if I was free and single...

[meganiwish]

I'm allready taken but if I was free and single...

Let me know when you're free and I'll get the safety net out

[Foxyheels]

You know I have often wondered what the hell that mythical creature in my bathroom was doing there but now I know. Seriously don't give up in your search, the woman you described does exsist, they are an elite race sent from heaven, angels in human form, I found one of them and I'm nothing special so m sure you can. I have a feeling Megan is hiding a mythical creature in her abode waiting for the right man to turn up also.

[hiheellover23]

Looking from the outside, you'd think that tolerance and acceptance would be enough. For some it may be. But for me....no

While a wife or girlfriend may accept and tolerate that you watch football on the weekends, what she feels inside in many cases is a dislike for football all together. Maybe its that she feels that your desire for something material replaces your need for something emmotional with her. I have an ex that "tolerated and accepted" but only briefly before it became more than she could accept or tolerate. In the beginning she said that if I liked heels, she would wear whatever I bought her 24/7. Now I'm quite certain that she didn't really mean 24/7 and I didn't force the issue. But I did fill her clost with more than 30 pairs of 5+" heels and she refused to wear any of them. Her last comment to me was that I loved heels more than her. I only replied that if that were true, all those shoes would be size 10 (my size)..

In theory most any woman would be happy to get 30 pairs of shoes, the reality....not so much.

J

Hey Luckyme, you know what I know exactly where you are coming from. I have a thread on here called feeling disconnected from your significant other. Before my girlfriend and I seemed to be on the same page about shoes. Sometimes she would mention some things on the television or a photo on a website where some one had some hot looking shoes on. She use to go to the store with me to get some ideas on finding clothes to wear with my shoes. Plus we use to go out but as of lately that's cut down quite a bit. I don't really mention shoe wearing in front of her as much. And I had done the same thing as far as filling her closet with shoes. According to her in order for her to wear the shoes we have to find some spot to go out to in order for her to have a reason to wear them. I told my self I was going to stop ordering but for some odd reason I continue to do it. I just wish that there was someone male or female that was on the same page as me to just be able to go out with to just kick it at a club or something like that because going out to places by yourself can be a little boring. Plus I would feel like we would both give each other support you know like the saying goes "strength in numbers". Don't get me wrong I love my girlfriend but I think she feels that I should be phasing out my liking for shoes but she will just tolerate it for now (if that makes any sense).

[Luckyme]

HiHeelLover, I understand your reference completely. Our main difference is you wear heels publicly. I don't and have no desire to do so. And where I live it could be done quite easily. Just not my thing. But disconneted is a perfect description. Its a shame that your thread only got a couple of responses. I'm assuming that this one will suffer the same fate.... other than the postings by people who feel the need to respond to everything, offer advice or try to be comedians

[pussyinboots]

Are you convinced that worrying about your needs is the right way to go about it? I know that when I was younger I wanted him to show how interested he was in me. If I loved him I'd have hung by my heels from a top floor window if that's what he liked. But that's just me.

Oh dear, I'm going to get requests now, aren't I?

Same here. I think for most right-minded women, if they really know that their guy is 100% into them and that they can trust him as well (a major requirement)....then they will go to quite some lengths to accommodate any...shall we say....'quirks' of his.

In my case, my main worry was that it 1) didn't put anyone in harm's way, and 2) wasn't open to public viewing. Once I was satisfied with that both these points were safely covered, then we began to share fetishes and I was quite happy to do most things that my husband asked me to do.

Edited May 14, 2012 by pussyinboots

[Luckyme]

I think something got lost along the way. I'm not looking for dating or relationship advice. I'm just looking for someone male or female that feels the same way I do...

[Chorlini]

@ Luckyme I can fully recognize myself in what you've said. If you'd like I'm open to any private conversations. The only point that I differ is in selection of a mate. For myself I don't feel the need for her to have that fetish as well. As long as she's willing to wear high heels herself and is okay with me occasionally lounging about the house in my own heels then that's fine with me. But if that is what you want, go for it and go for it in the right way and in the right places.

[hoverfly]

I see high heels in several ways, including them being erotic. Finding the right women, is a hit or miss, and as well lowering expectations from your partner to make it work.

[meganiwish]

I was thinking of multiquoting, but it could have been the whole thread. Lots of people have put a lot of thought into what they said and you dismiss it as not what you wanted, Luckyme. So we reply to anything (try to be part of the forum) or we're wannabe comedians(what, we don't take you seriously enough?). I'm sorry, I got shouted at in a meeting yesterday, and I'm feeling tender, but give us a break. We tried.

[Luckyme]

Megan, All to often when I click on a thread that appears to be a topic of interest, it seemingly gets "hijacked" by endless off-topic comments. Maybe they're light hearted comments, harmless comedians, or more often than not the folks feel like they have offer an opinion ON EVERYTHING! I don't have the time or desire to read through all the banter. I don't live vicariously through this site. I'm not attacking you for your comments. But it seems as if your offended at my lack or response to others. I asked a pretty specific question intentionally. Is that not allowed? So yes, however well intended some comments were, I guess I am dismissing them (by not responding) simply because its not what I asked for. But you seem to take offense to that. If I has posted a threading asking for a good recipe for soup, and everyone posted car repair tips, I wouldn't respond to those either. Sorry you were shouted at.

[Shafted]

Luckyme, As the originator of the thread rather than ignoring individual responses that are not exactly what you are looking for, respond and try to steer the thread to achieve the desired results. Sometimes a thread doesn't grow in a linear fashion but instead grows like a tree with small related subtopics that branch off from the main topic. It is within your power to help keep the thread on the original topic. Just politely request it in posting. Most will kindly take the hint.

[Mike Hinch]

HiHeelLover,

I understand your reference completely. Our main difference is you wear heels publicly. I don't and have no desire to do so. And where I live it could be done quite easily. Just not my thing. But disconneted is a perfect description.

Got a question for Luckyme and not really privet as the answer cound be good for all and others may be in that same position. Now if I got this right I read in one of the postings that you did not desire to were heels out and about but find them really stimulating for use in the house. So hows about mid heels possibly mid stimulating for out and about.

[kikepa]

Are you convinced that worrying about your needs is the right way to go about it? I know that when I was younger I wanted him to show how interested he was in me. If I loved him I'd have hung by my heels from a top floor window if that's what he liked. But that's just me.

Oh dear, I'm going to get requests now, aren't I?

Well, if they're for friendship, would that be a bad thing?

I just like wearing heels, as do most of us.

[shrimper]

I've had high heel fetish for as long as I can remember. I love the sight of heels, the sound and the comfort of wearing them. As with any "like", I have heels I like and heels I hate. Anything less than 5 1/2 " or more than 9" are definitely not my thing. That also goes for the "stripper" type platform heels that are a readily available in any sex shop or online store, not my thing. I prefer "high end"designers or custom made heels and I spend a disporportionate amount of time looking for them.

I would describe myself as an altocalciphiliac, a person who sees high heels as erotic objects, a source of arousal if you will. I don't crossdress, I don't wear make up or anything that would be traditionally considered as womens attire. I don't aspire to wear heels publicly with or without fear or desire of humiliation or approval. I, at times, wear heels privately for pleasure. For lack of a lengthy better description, I'm the stereotypical "regular guy" in my dress and activities, with only this exception

I've always been involved in heterosexual relationships. I've had girlfriends, been married and divorced twice and I've told only one partner the entire scope of my fetish. But all of them knew that I liked them to wear heels. The woman I did tell wasn't exactly thrilled but made a vague attempt to support it, briefly.

I've made one friend on this site that seems to be "like me" and I value his friendship. We've shared some of our triumphs and disappointments and despite a 20 year age gap, we have alot in common in regards to this topic.

He asked me one day, " what are you looking for?". My answer was this.... "I want what most people want, love, respect, support, common interests... but I also want this aspect of my life to be part of the relationship. I want a woman, that shares my shoe fetish and even wants me to wear heels, not only because she knows it turns me on but also because it turns her on." I realize that the chances of finding a woman like this is about the same as finding a flying unicorn in my bathroom. But finding someone, male or female that at least understand me would be nice.

So here we are, If you've read this far, you know if you're "like me". And this is my request. If you feel that you are "like me", post a response. If you enjoy heels in a different way, please don't comment or make a post, there are plenty of other threads for your interests and topics. If you are "like me" (male or female) and prefer a bit more privacy, send me a private message.

Please excuse any typos, misspelling, or incorrect punctuation, I'm not an english teacher.

I really hope to get some responses.

J

Luckyme, my relationship to shoes is pretty much the same as yours. I have no desire to wear them publicly but I do like to wear them in the company of my lady as prelude and companion to our sexual encounters. I also like it when she wears heels to her taste that I find attractive. The first 50 years of my life were spent denying, hiding or trying to rid myself of this fascination,,, with no success. Also I was unable, for the most part, to find a woman who was OK with knowing about my preferences. This all changed once I was able to accept myself as I am. I have met a lady who loves shoes (has more than 200 pairs) and has no problem at all making them a part of our lovemaking. We have even bought some matching pairs when the style was available in my size.

All this to say don't give up hope, your ideal mate is out there somewhere.

[Guest IronCross]

Now that I've written the stuff below I realize the OP appears to be banned. Oh well, this kind of went off in all directions anyway. Felt good to write though.

I feel I am like you in most respects. I have a massive shoe fetish, always have, from as early as I can remember. Primarily heels but occasionally a non-heeled women's shoe will really catch my eye although that's fairly rare. As you said there are heels that are liked and heels that are hated but for me it doesn't have to do with the height so much as the style, material, finish, color. I tend to either really like a pair of heels or just dismiss them outright. Women or men in heels always catch my eye regardless, providing to be quite the distraction sometimes. I've always said there is little I wouldn't do for a woman in heels. When I do complement someone on their heels I genuinely mean what I say, it's not an outright fetish talking "ohh, heels!" but a look or style that surpasses the objects of desire themselves.

I too find heels as erotic objects whereas heels on their own can arouse me. It's one of the prime reasons I enjoy shopping for them so much. They are more or less a fixture during intimate time with my current girlfriend of over five years. Nary a sexual encounter happens that doesn't involve her in heels. In fact it's almost part of our sexual routine, scratch that, it is part of lovemaking between us 99% of the time. She's up to 137 pairs at last count, nearly all of them purchased by me over the years we've known one another. Lots more in the queue to give her later on, special occasions, or no occasion at all. I loved her before heels were brought into the mix between her and I. However since those objects of eroticism became a part of our relationship it has only helped to further define and strengthen the bond between us that makes us a couple. It adds to the emotion and reason why I am with her and she is with me.

Although she doesn't have as big a heel fetish as I do, I noticed a long time ago that there was just enough of one within her. She enjoys them, shopping for them, receiving them from me, going to shoe stores together, wearing them - from regular everyday business wear to off the wall costume heels. I don't expect her to have as big a fetish as me, in fact I'm glad she doesn't, as then we'd do nothing but obsess about shoes together and who knows, maybe that would end up killing the fetish off (something I'd never want in a million years). Those times when I pull a box down and she says "ah, I was thinking these instead" and retrieves a different pair are when I know that smaller tinge of shoe fetishism within her is sparking up and I love that as a counter balance to how I feel all the time. In that way I know that she doesn't wear heels "for" me but for herself and for the feelings and enjoyment they bring us together. I know they can give her a sense of empowerment, eroticism, sensuality and pleasure. I suppose that part of that is also because she knows the effect they have on me and that in turn arouses her.

Years ago, when I first started to wear heels, it lead to instant arousal. Boom, right there, every time. I started in my mid teens as I've read quite a few here did - sneaking into mom's or sister's or your girlfriend's wardrobe when no one was around until buying your own. It was purely erotic, nothing else, heels = high arousal. Over time the instant arousal of wearing heels dropped off somewhat as I found that I simply enjoyed wearing them to relax and for the indescribable feeling wearing them has on me - something I'm assuming many here can relate to. I'll admit that I dabbled in wearing women's attire a couple times but the attraction faded quickly, cementing that heels were the main attraction. If anything that increased my awareness of how attracted to heels I am. I still wear stockings and other hosiery with heels sometimes because they can make a great pair of heels look even more amazing. It adds to the attraction and enjoyment.

I heeled "publicly" a few times years back and used to in a small office I worked in. Part of that was comfort but I'll admit that there was always a subtle layer of arousal there. Wearing heels doesn't give me instant reaction like it once did but the potential for enhanced arousal is always there, right on the edge, and I mean RIGHT on the edge in a way nothing else does. Controlling that is exciting and pleasurable and only further adds to the attraction mentioned earlier. I liked pushing that limit a little back then. Out of curiosity, to see if things had changed, I've had a couple short trips in public recently but it didn't add anything to the sensation of wearing heels. I feel everyone should be able to express their style how they see fit but heels aren't a way I express my style out and about. They are something special and intimate and arousing and comforting and I love that - I really do. I find that more important to me than making a public statement or expressing one's self to others (but more power to everyone that is out there strutting high and doing their thing and living by their own rules!). The simple fact of the matter is that wearing heels makes me happy. And I'm happiest wearing heels in the comfort of my own home, kicking back, relaxing, and oh yeah - being on the edge of intense arousal. But if there's a knock at the door I have no problem answering it in 5" platforms.

I only recently bounced the idea of me wearing heels to my girlfriend. I've always assumed that she's suspected just a little but in all the time we've been together I've kept it private and to myself. I've gotten out of heeling and come right back a few times over the past few years. When I made the decision that I didn't want to get out again this last time is when I started to bring it up with her. I told her that you only go around once, let's have fun. I explained that me wearing heels wasn't some replacement for her or her in heels and that, although heels do have a tremendous effect on me, they weren't merely used as a vessel to get me off. Sure eroticism is a big part of that but at the core it's something more basic, more fundamental, more personal. That I wanted to share that with her was further testament to how close I feel to her. It's one of the purest things I know about myself and involving that in our experiences together showed that I have nothing to hide and no reason to at that.

I really have no desire to wear heels outside of the home anymore as honestly I could really take it or leave it when it comes to that these days. I'm having too much fun in private where I can let my desires run free. Heeling in public, when I did it last and how it felt to me, was just wearing shoes. They really don't fit my style outside of the home as on that other side of the coin I tend to be a funky sneaker guy. (I know, I know) But heels being regarded as "just another footwear choice" for everyone gaining acceptance would be incredible and how I think it should be. It just wouldn't be a choice that I would wear day to day on the go, same reason I don't wear sandals, just not my "style." I'll shop for heels, try a pair on, but they get carried home as that's where they'll be worn.

tl;dr: I love wearing heels, I have a crazy heel fetish, I just realize that where I enjoy wearing them most is in the privacy of my own home. Wearing them out doesn't do anything for me, no fear or excitement or worry, and it tends to clash with how I like to dress so I leave that to my girlfriend and the heeling at home to myself. Either way I'm all for universal acceptance of carrying on how you want to.

[roniheels]

In a nutshell, my ex- did not like me wearing high heels. That is why she is my ex-. The lady I am with now accepts me for who I am, how I express myself, and sees beyond me wearing high heels (which she likes and has provided me with many pairs of my high heels ... she owns an exotic boutique). Don't give up, and keep being who you are.