jarod81 Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Last year I posted a topic on wanting general advice on how to deal with a my partner who was unwilling to accept my like of heels and women’s attire despite the fact she was aware of this early in our relationship. Many of you gave great advice and a lot of it I took on. After lots of self-reflection and thinking, in the end I knew that things would never change with my partner and even though I loved her I was not willing to give up my happiness. I knew hell would freeze over before she would accept me and allow me to wear the shoes and clothes I wanted around her, especially at home. I got to the point where I thought getting married was a bad idea. I have read so many posts from other guys on here, who live with their wives or partners and they were not so accepting also and I was not willing to live like that. But I thought I would be patience and see what the year would bring. Recently my fiancée got a new job, which I was happy about because the one she had was making her down right angry and depressed. Well it’s been feeling slightly cold, freezing even since she has been at this new job and I’m damned if I know what’s happened here but she has done a 180 degree flip. Since her new job she has been happier and seems to accept my clothing choice and shoes. I now wear what I want at home with no complaints, expect for the odd remake about my dress sense. I was even more shocked when we went out for dinner and I was in my skinny jeans with my heeled boots over and nothing was said, hell we even went shopping afterward and got ice-cream and turned out to be a really great night. I couldn’t be any happier than I am right now and so happy that I can truly be me, and am now looking forward to getting married in October. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 That's good to hear jarod81.Things can work themselves out. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Brilliant a lovely change of mood. So glad of happiness coming to town be it due to the work location, pressures or enviormental/personal atmospheres and attitudes. Hope it continues. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuban Nicky Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 It's great to hear from someone who has got over their problems with their SO. Good luck and happy heeling together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Great news, Jarod! I wish you and the SO much happiness together. I like stories with happy endings! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Hi jarod81, I couldn't resist replying to a thread with this title! Perhaps the change of job also changed her complete perspective on you. She now realizes that the "man" she loves contains actually another personality that is as integral to the body as the trust/love is to the bond between you. Your love of heeels wil never fade so why not embrace it? That's why I named myself "HappyinHeels" because I know it is an important part of me and my marriage. Gd Bless. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Not so fast, guys. It's time for a full-face serious discussion with her. While this sudden change in her attitude is certainly encouraging, we are talking about a lifetime commitment from both of you. A commitment that could eventually involve children which complicate the situatio further. So, time to get things talked through to insure that somewhere down stream your family relationship won't come unglued and actions taken by both of you now could result in harming some very innocent children that have no choice in the matter except that of having the bad luck to have parents that weren't thinking straight when they chose to make babys. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarod81 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Not so fast, guys. It's time for a full-face serious discussion with her. While this sudden change in her attitude is certainly encouraging, we are talking about a lifetime commitment from both of you. A commitment that could eventually involve children which complicate the situatio further. So, time to get things talked through to insure that somewhere down stream your family relationship won't come unglued and actions taken by both of you now could result in harming some very innocent children that have no choice in the matter except that of having the bad luck to have parents that weren't thinking straight when they chose to make babys. So true Bubba so true. And I too have been wondering about the change at first. We have had a talk about and it would seem the the stress from the previous job, the mistreatment from the boss and just being angry 24/7 made her really negative about anything. When she went to the interview for this job, for some reason we had abig talk about everything, which all statrted from how she liked being able to wear nice clothes to work instead of the god aweful uniform she had and how she felt really good in them, which I told her is how I feel when I wear my heels ad so on. And that tal went on from there to be really positive. from the other talk we had we found out the she doesn't like what I do but she does accept it but had trouble trying to say that the understood how how feel. One of the silliest thing we talked about was how she hates people that judge other people or how women still can't find on the frontlines of battle ( she come from a military family.Her parents know about everything and are ok and still love me anyway ) and pointed out to her how she was judging me all the time. As for children, which we plan to have is a good point. The relationship as a whole is strong minus my awewsome heels at one point. Now of the past few months there has been alot my peace and relaxation. I am aware that if we do have kids and things go bad between us then this could afffect the kids, but thats the future and who knows what will happen. We both have the ideals of bring up any children we have to be accpeting of everyone one no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxyheels Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I am so pleased for you, seems like she has realised it's no big deal and has come to terms with it. Possibly her old job, which she clearly hated, coupled with the fact she felt she looked awful was only exaggerated by you looking good in women's clothing and shoes and became another thing for her to dislike. It is a massive U turn though so keep talking and I'm sure you will find a happy medium. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreshinHeels Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Great news Jarod81, I am very pleased for the both of you. In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 jarod81, Bubba136 made good points, as always, and I hope your talks with her have answered the questions he had about the long haul. Marriage, if taken seriously, is a VERY long haul indeed but one I highly recommend. After 27 years my wife still will put an occasional note in my lunch and I will still stand by the car to open the door for her. It's old school in 2012 but these are things that go on in long-lasting marriages. You have to know that all feels right in your heart before tying the knot. It is life's biggest crap shoot but you just have to believe! All the best to you both. HappyinHeels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhl4vr Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Congrats jarod81 that is wonderful news that you were able to work it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkStephen Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Congratulation Jarod81. Great news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daz34 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Cool good to hear daz34 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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