blacksmith25 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Hello fellow heelers, I have a situation that I could use some advice on. I have recently told who I thought was a good friend of mine that I wear heels. I have been friends with him since 6th grade, I am now 23 and I like to think that I have been a good person and friend to him, been there whenever he needed me. But thats not the point. His reaction was alot like the other people I have told, completely shocked and he says he doesnt care about it and that we are still friends no matter what, but he now avoids me like the plague, doesnt return my calls and if we are planning to hang out he cancels right before I leave to meet up with him. So my question is, is he trying to find a way to cut off the friendship without actually confronting me or am I just thinking to much?
Shafted Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I wish I could be the bearer of good news, but unfortunately not. There still exists many who just cannot wrap their heads around the concept of a guy wearing high heels. You really need to consider if the road to continue this friendship is fruitful. I'm very glad I have not had to deal with this issue in my neck of the woods, but remember if this person has been your friend for quite some time it might be worth it to confront them and try to understand their apprehension from their point of view. Good luck. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
blacksmith25 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 Thank you for your advice, think that i will bring it up to him. I am supposed to go to the bar with him saturday so I might just bring it up before we go and see what he says
StormClaw Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 One piece of advice I can give since I went through the same.Dont wear heels in front of him when meeting up or going out. Happened to me and a friend as well, I actually told him one day,and wore heels in front of him a few days later. He wasn't very impressed or comfortable so I took them off to keep things cool. Humans are weird when faced with big changes we normally start with confusion,worry,anger and then acceptance. We need to adjust on our own time and terms. Good luck
LuvyourShoes Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 There's always mixed feelings when you are dealing with long time friends... I recently had to cut a friend off due to some circumstances beyond my control. Just remember, everyones not meant to be in your life forever... for one friend that you lose, you will gain another, or 2 or 3! Its not the end of the world. Keep figuring out who you are and the real friends will show themselves!
Gudulitooo Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 You are just thinking too much. Stop it. Live your life happily. Be yourself. Let your friend live in peace. He knows where to find you. Only my 2 cents.
blacksmith25 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 Thank you all for your advice, I really appreciate it
Dr. Shoe Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I would just like to add that many people acquaint heel wearing with homosexuality, which of course is total bollocks! Perhaps he's scared you're going to make a pass at him. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
SF Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 bollocks, I like that term.... sf "Why should girls have all the fun!!"
SArmeah Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Sometimes people do actually just get wrapped up in their own stuff instead of orbiting around us like we want them to No really sometimes they do. Don't stress. SArmeah - "No one cares how much you know, till they know how much you care"
HappyinHeels Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 blacksmith25, You'll have to really evaluate just how important this friendship is to you and he'll have to evaluate his now apparent-to-you narrowmindedsness. Confront him and ask about his sudden change of perspective on you. If his words don't acknowledge possession of his recent actions then it is obvious you need to let him go. He may not ever judged you before but he is apparently judging you now which is not something you should let ANY FRIEND do to you. All the best as you confront this challenge. HappyinHeels:wave:
Walkonit Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Your friend obviously has difficulty accepting you wearing heels. My advice is to respect this difficulty and not wear heels when you are with him to show him you are the same person he knew before. Overtime he will get to understand you better. Who you tell and who you don't is obvously a personal choice. My choice is to separate my heeling activity from my work, family and "traditional social life." I personally believe (but have never tested this belief) it would negatively impact the way others perceive me in those groups. Since I enjoy those parts of my life I'm not in a hurry to stir things up. I enjoy my heeling separately in strangers only situations. I know many here may disagree with this viewpoint, but right now it works for me.
Dr. Shoe Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 bollocks, I like that term.... sf It's in common use here in the UK. It's used as an exclamation when something goes wrong or it's used to convey the fact that someone is being less than honest: "Oh Bollocks! That shouldn't have happened." and "I think you're talking total bollocks mate!" respectively. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
SleekHeels Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 I'd imagine guys who got their ears pierced used to get the same sort of reaction years ago, but that's a total non-issue now. Hopefully heels will go the same way, it's just a matter of time. If you like it, wear it.
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