curiosity Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 The more I think about the range of fashion a girl has to express herself, the more depressing I think are the choices men currently have. It's not that I want to be a girl; Just why can't I wear girls clothes? Why can't I wear high heels? Why can't I use make-up? Yet girls are able to wear boys clothing and nothing is said. It's such a shame that society stereotypes, and that we decide that a clothing has to be for one sex or the other. Actually, I think some girls clothing looks amazing on me! So do high heels! But I still can't get the courage to wear these in front of anyone. Well, there was one time when my girlfriend gave me her jumper because I was cold (she told me it made me more glam rock when I was wearing it). She's dated guys who wore make up before and loves people who are artistic. I think, I hope, she would be open to me wearing some feminine clothing and shoes. It's not like I want to be extremely feminine or anything. I just want more options, more ways to express myself, and feel sexier about myself. Because really, girls clothing can look really look on males too - they do for me! I have a good fashion sense and have the perfect slim body for it too. I do have a natural soft and small feminine features. The only worry is that my girlfriend will start seeing me as not a boyfriend or a man, but too feminine, and lose attraction. In all honesty I don't see this happening. But even if there is a slim chance it did have that effect. I would die. I love her so much. My gut feeling on this though is that I have a wonderfully open-minded girlfriend who would embrace my desires and needs. I mean geez, her old boyfriend dressed up in a dress and make up for a photo shoot! and she showed me the picture. I probably wouldn't wear dresses (though I see nothing wrong with it), but I'd love to just have more options. It is very frustrating that men have really nothing to choose from. Now I think my girlfriend wouldn't mind. But my parents? my family? my friends? god... I don't know what they'd think. But then again, why should I care? They should love me for who I am and not for what I'm not, which in one word is; boring.
Mike Hinch Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 There may be a way into fashion freedom is get together with her and go shopping but I would advise to keep it conservative. In my pictures I just posted a pix of me in comfortable square toe boots and the most conservative dress that I could find. By that I mean non girly.
curiosity Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 There may be a way into fashion freedom is get together with her and go shopping but I would advise to keep it conservative. In my pictures I just posted a pix of me in comfortable square toe boots and the most conservative dress that I could find. By that I mean non girly. Right, I would probably mix masculine and feminine. I wouldn't go out very 'girly' and I don't feel the need to. I have dressed up girly before, but only in private and just being curious really. I'm sure I could find a good balance, and probably be a bit conservative too. (nothing like what I posted in my intro pics )
FreshinHeels Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 just my 2cents The world just isn't ready for what you want. Buuuuuut if ye want to change the world ye gotta do what you wanna do! In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out
curiosity Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 just my 2cents The world just isn't ready for what you want. Buuuuuut if ye want to change the world ye gotta do what you wanna do! You're right! The world isn't ready - yet.
Katlyn Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Why not go to a place where no one knows you, wearing your panties and with "dark" panty hose, under your pants and with low or medium heels? Continue to dress as a man in the rest of your clothing. Then quietly go to a mall and casualy walk around. Walk with a confident and relaxed manner and you will see that most people do not notice you are wearing heels, you will begin to feel more comfortable in public with them. Do not start off with higher heels, (anything over 2-1/2 inches high), as this will get people to notice you, if you are not experienced already in wearing them. Dark hose removes the contrast between your heels and your feet, so what you are wearing is not so apparent. Go out first when there are not so many people around, or better yet, when the malls are very crowded. People are to much pre occupied with their own concerns to notice what you are wearing. Those that may notice you in your highheels, will probably not say anything to you. But, if someone does ask you why you are wearing highheel shoes, simply tell them the truth. You are very comfortable wearing them, they are enjoyable to you and you believe that men should wear them if they want to and you see nothing wrong in doing so. Once you are relaxed and confident you will begin to lose your self consciousness and begin to wear them everywhere with pride. It will take a while, but it will happen. But, in the off hand chance that you meet someone you know, just joke about it and say you made a bet with someone that you could walk around in highheels and no one would care. And in reality, you are right. Society is beginning to accept the fact that men and women like to wear each others clothing. Thousand of men wear woman's thong panties, pantyhose, and other garments, but it's all under clothing so it's easy to get away with. But highheel shoes or flatties for that matter, is another thing, because you can't hide it. And why should you? Just because other people object or don't like it, why should it affect you? It's their problem not yours.
StormClaw Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 You're right! The world isn't ready - yet. “Be the change you want to see in the world." Mahatma Gandhi Just start small and take it step by step.Like Katlyn said, if anyone asks, just tell the truth.
jarod81 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 I was a bit like that at first but as i have stated in previous posts I work as a paramedic and realised really quickly that life is short and I wanted to live my life the way I wanted too live it so started telling everyone that mattered and most were ok with my clothing choices. At the end of the day you can wear women's clothing styles, you can wear high heels, you can wear make up and all of those thing but you have to be prepared for the negative feedback that may and can come with it. If its something you really want to do,.... well do it. The last thing you want to do is be old in your 80's, 90's and looking back at your life and wondering why you didn't do the things you wanted too. As for you g/f well by the sounds of things I don't think she will really mind if your open to her and tell her how you feel abouth these things. If she rejects it, well thats apart of life. You really can't live your life in the eyes of what other people want you to live it other wise it will send you insane.
Guest Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Katlyn For an opening post that is a WOW 10 out of 10 and a big welcome! Curiosity good advise there in all factors Al
Foxyheels Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Quite simply you can wear girls clothing, heels make up and everything you want to. There is only one thing stopping you and that's you. Others may find it unusual but they will get over it and honestly it is unusual at present. However, it's not wrong and it's not against the law so you can do it. It does take courage to do it and you feel like you are flinging yourself off a cliff but in reality you are really just going down a small step, it soon becomes easier and people just get back to treating you as you as they have asked the questions and forget about it. I thought I would never dare wear heels out and about but this morning I put on a pair of my 4'' block heeled boots and set off for the local Tesco to do a bit of grocery shopping, went to the bank and then popped in to see MrsF at work in our village. All these were very local and I survived, no comments other than a girl who works with MrsF saying 'Good morning, how are you''. we had a normal chat and I spoke to MrsF. The other point I would like to make is that you say '' I have a good fashion sense and have the perfect slim body for it too. I do have a natural soft and small feminine features.'' Also your girlfriend has dated men who have worn make up and showed you a former boyfriend in a dress. Personally I think she is trying to tell you something and your appearance may have been a significant factor in her getting with you. Ladies are very clever when it comes to relationships and I think she may be pointing you in a certain direction having picked up on what you want or better still actually wants you to do it. She is open minded so I don't think you will lose her. If I'm wrong and you tell her what you want to do and she says no then I think she will get over it if she is like you describe. I would put good money on her being receptive though, if you don't ask you will never know and that is something you will regret. God luck, give it a try and let us know how you get on. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
Guest Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 More to add as it's easier with a real keyboard than on a phone. Curiosity Someone a few months ago broached a term to describe many of us as "male lesbians", whether crossdressers or not, we have more understanding of the fem side of clothing and are challenging fashion to accept us. I like the term even if it doesn't fit everyone. I think your lady would also enjoy the term, as for what you say about her she is very open minded and you could have great fun. The fear of being too fem and spoiling the relationship is understandable, I think you need to find out what she wants and expects, whether it's a bit of occasional role play or more, ultimately and most importantly what you want or willing to accept? I'm sure it will be fun for both of you to explore. Al
roniheels Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 You have gotten some very good advice so far. I think the key to ny situation such as this is honest and open communication. The more you explain and discuss your feelings, the more both of you will have a better understanding as to where this is going and how this can progress.
legs777777 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Why not go to a place where no one knows you, wearing your panties and with "dark" panty hose, under your pants and with low or medium heels? Continue to dress as a man in the rest of your clothing. Then quietly go to a mall and casualy walk around. Walk with a confident and relaxed manner and you will see that most people do not notice you are wearing heels, you will begin to feel more comfortable in public with them. Do not start off with higher heels, (anything over 2-1/2 inches high), as this will get people to notice you, if you are not experienced already in wearing them. Dark hose removes the contrast between your heels and your feet, so what you are wearing is not so apparent. Go out first when there are not so many people around, or better yet, when the malls are very crowded. People are to much pre occupied with their own concerns to notice what you are wearing. Those that may notice you in your highheels, will probably not say anything to you. But, if someone does ask you why you are wearing highheel shoes, simply tell them the truth. You are very comfortable wearing them, they are enjoyable to you and you believe that men should wear them if they want to and you see nothing wrong in doing so. Once you are relaxed and confident you will begin to lose your self consciousness and begin to wear them everywhere with pride. It will take a while, but it will happen. But, in the off hand chance that you meet someone you know, just joke about it and say you made a bet with someone that you could walk around in highheels and no one would care. And in reality, you are right. Society is beginning to accept the fact that men and women like to wear each others clothing. Thousand of men wear woman's thong panties, pantyhose, and other garments, but it's all under clothing so it's easy to get away with. But highheel shoes or flatties for that matter, is another thing, because you can't hide it. And why should you? Just because other people object or don't like it, why should it affect you? It's their problem not yours. Its just a real pity that there are not more people like you around, with an open attitude as you seen to have, probably would'nt have taken me so long to venture out either.
legs777777 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 And to curiosity, I truly hope things turn out ok for you, treat your girlfriend right, as so far she hasnt ran a mile away from you. Good luck in the future.
curiosity Posted February 27, 2012 Author Posted February 27, 2012 I was exchanging emails with her recently and I brought up the topic of hair and that I wanted to grow it longer (it's already passed my shoulders now). So I gave an example of a model named Andrej. You've all probably heard of him? He fashions clothing and shoes for men and women. He is very androgynous! So she went off looking on the net to see who and what he does. She replied back to me saying his look is "super hot" and told me that he wears women's clothing and that he seems really cool. When I sent her the email I expected this to be her reaction to a guy that looks like that. I think she definitely is very open-minded and I won't have a problem when I tell her. I already have a sort of a androgynous look myself, I'm similar to andrej. (which is why I showed her him). I've also been messaging her lately about me looking at lots of clothes and fashion. I just want to open her mind up to the images and seeing a guy wearing heels and more feminine things. She wanted me to grow my hair and put eye makeup on me (she must have forgotten about that). This is Andrej for those not familiar Thank you so much for all your responses so far! This site is great!
Dr. Shoe Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 He's got really bony legs though... Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
curiosity Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 Yeah he does. He's still young though. I remember being really skinny when I was a teenager. So anyway, I remembered a website that my gf showed me when I first met her. So I just went back to it today to see what kind of friends she added on there. It seems around 98% of the males she added as a friend are all either gothic looking or androgynous looking. Almost all are wearing make-up, and even a couple guys had platform heels on their profile pics! and a lot of guys mixing feminine and masculine clothing. So what am I waiting for? Maybe I should just talk to her about it! lol I'm feeling more confident that about the situation right now though!
curiosity Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 I've been talking to her lately about androgyny and she's been saying to be how she finds it hot and also she was to be friends with a guy who cross dressed and they used to go out together lol. And she seems totally fine with it all. She thinks that the guy andrej is really cool and that people should be true to who they are. So she is very open to all these things and doesn't find it strange at all. She think it's really good. So I wrote her an email just now and waiting to hear back what she says. I don't think girls aren't stupid, and I think she has an idea already! since I've been going on about this androgyny thing lately to her. She said it would be fine if I wanted to be more androgynous-like and wear eye make up (even though I didn't go into detail). She loves that she said. So I told her about everything... anxiously waiting now. I think it will be okay! what do you guys thing? She shared this video on her fb from youtube and said "Stop caring about what everybody thinks and just be true to yourself." damn im anxious :S
Shafted Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Prognosis is better than good curiosity. She waiting for for you. Don't disappoint. She has said the magic words that so few hear. Consider yourself blessed. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
meganiwish Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Curiosity, I'm always wary about giving advice, so please don't take this as advice, just observation. Over the years I've numbered amongst my friends feminine men and women and masculine men and women, and it's never made one iota of difference to me. Once I've met them it would never occur to me that they'd be any other way. I always hope they take me the same. You say your girlfriend says you should be who you are. Quite so. I also don't usually like to quote songs out of context, but as Marina and the Diamonds says, '...better to be hated/ Than loved, loved, loved for what you're not.' Okay, hated is too strong in this case, and the rest of the song doesn't really fit the sitation, but the sentiment is right. Be who you are and let her love, love, love you. I don't know how long you've known each other, but I'd bet she already has a fair idea of what you're like inside, and she seems to like that, right?
Foxyheels Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I would be amazed if you get a negative reply from her, she really is suggesting this. "get your heels on dude and take me out" High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
curiosity Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 Sorry for my poor spelling in my past post (I'm really not that bad! Was just in a rush!). I'll let you guys know how it goes! I'll speak with her later I think. She's just really busy at the moment. I feel pretty good right now and pretty sure that everything is going to be fine! I've been dating her for 15 months. She loves me a lot. =) We feel we are soulmates.
Tacchi Alti Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Go for it! She sounds the sort of person most men here would give an arm and a leg for. Let us know how you get on. We're really pleased for you. 'Come, and trip it as ye go On the light fantastic toe.' John Milton
Gudulitooo Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Hello Curiosity, and bravo for your courage. I have read again your first post, you put everything in it. Questions and the answers. I can only add that what you wear one day is only an outfit. It does not define you. It only supports the way you present yourself that day. All the more if you are into fashion, you may change often, try different combinations, etc. There is no need to settle on one particular look. You are scared you may loose the love or friendship of your so by presenting yourself differently. You may. I mean, these people were used to seing you before. They may not recognise you because you present yourself on a different angle, because they think your personality has also changed... Alterning your outfits may reassure them that you are still the same, only the clothes change. While some relationships may not survive a change in behaviour ... but to me a change in appearance is a minor one.
curiosity Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 She's completely fine with all of it! lol. It doesn't even phase her at all. In fact, she's confused why I even need to make a big deal of it or get permission from her to do something. I wasn't exactly asking permission, but I was looking for acceptance. She seems more worried about the lack of confidence in how I approached her about it, if anything. Like she said before; you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks. Be true to yourself.
Shafted Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Now your talking curiosity. You had a few of us shaking our heads like wtf's he waiting for. Listen to your girlfriend. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
Rei Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Well, that's awesome, I'm glad it worked out so well for you. Although Shafted is right, I was wondering how long it would take you to ask her. I understand that it can be pretty difficult to tell people you really care about, worried they'll take it badly or whatnot. Like, I still have no idea how I'm going to tell my family. But, hooray for good news! ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛABΕ
Foxyheels Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 You now have the green light you have been waiting for, it was clear to us you have a very special understanding lady but I understand your apprehension. Now is th time to really go for it and fulfill all your fashion desires ad get out in those heels. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
roniheels Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 She's completely fine with all of it! lol. It doesn't even phase her at all. In fact, she's confused why I even need to make a big deal of it or get permission from her to do something. I wasn't exactly asking permission, but I was looking for acceptance. She seems more worried about the lack of confidence in how I approached her about it, if anything. Like she said before; you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks. Be true to yourself.
Guest Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I've been dating her for 15 months. She loves me a lot. =) We feel we are soulmates. Now you tell us! Yes as Roniheels said it's the apprehension "will she accept?" I would say that you were getting all the clues but miss reading the obvious meaning. As many of us have in the past! If we meet in a venue for a particular culture, offroad driving, Hiking, music or fetish then it's equal for each to explore together. Outside that, then one side is trying to catch up, as is the case for you. She may have been expecting you to put on a "display" to satisfy her curiosity, hence the "permission" comment. Now go for it and if she's into heels invite her in. Al
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