FreshinHeels Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Do I tell my kids about heeling or not? Well the MR's know and is ok with. But the kids are another thing. I have 2 kids, both guys, 1 is 18 other is 15. While the 18 year old probably would shrug his shoulder and carry on the 15 year old is a different matter. He doesn't like things out off the ordinary. Mrs doesn't think we should tell them and since she is my allie in this I don't think I should go agains her wishes in this one. Have you guys told you're kids? Did they understand? In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendra45 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 in my case, or not! The angels have the phonebox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxyheels Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 My lad aged 13 came into our living room yesterday evening and said how do girls walk like this and passed by me on his tip toes. He was referring to the 6" shoes my wife had out on the bedroom floor that she would be wearing when we went out to a party. I told him they have lots of practice so they get used to it. He does not know I wear heels yet but if he has noticed my wifes shoes he may soon notice others around and about that are too big for her. If he asks why I may tell him they are mine, the reason I haven't yet is that kids are cruel. He would accept it I'm sure but would probably tell his mates, as kids do, and undoubtedly they would tease him as we live in a village with a lot of narrow minded families. So my answer would be tell them when you need to, no need to offer out tge info freely. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeheel Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I think telling them is slightly odd, it feeds the idea that one has to confess- because it is a bad thing ....which it is not. Has a woman ever felt the need to confess she prefers wearing trousers? Wearing them with the right outfit and answering questions as they arise is the way to go. I suggest you never feel you need to tell anyone about such a trifling matter. At all times be yourself and let the rest of the world catch up at it's own pace. M You won't get me wearing flat shoes...I really can't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreshinHeels Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 txs guys for taking time to read this and answering. I'm going to let it be and see what happends. And if the time comes and they see it or find out, then it is so. Great site we've got here. Been here a short time but I feel right at home. In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Mikeheel's got it about right, depending on their age and what they are into will make a difference. Older teenagers will accept easier if they are into "creative" styles especially goth and derivatives and would accept as being your own identity. For the younger ones just play it as it happens (if it happens) without fuss, keep it natural Freshinheels as you presume your elder probably will shrug it off or accept without ado, your younger is right in between, an unpredictable age, I'd stay with wait until. Just watch your steps and the wife's shoes he may experiment then you have a new question. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 You know your children better than anyone. This will sound like a cop-out, but just use your own good judgment. I was not honest with my wife and children and when it was discovered my enjoyment of high heels, it was an uncomfortable experience. Time has passed, children grown (I even have grandchildren), and I have good relationships with my children and grandchildren. I even have a good relationship with my ex-. But to this day, I have second thoughts as to if I had been open and honest upfront. But that's just my situation. Good luck with your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhboots Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Thankfully, my wife knows just about everything about me. However, my kids are still pretty young and I don't feel comfortable talking to them about it just yet. My son probably knows something is different about Dad's shoes by this time, since I do public heeling occasionally around them, but I've always tried to be very discreet and stealthy about it around them. Anyway, he has done double takes and I can tell he looks a bit more closely at my shoes at times. I probably should have a talk about it with him in the near future though, but have to figure out the best way to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappycoco Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Do I tell my kids about heeling or not? Well the MR's know and is ok with. But the kids are another thing. I have 2 kids, both guys, 1 is 18 other is 15. While the 18 year old probably would shrug his shoulder and carry on the 15 year old is a different matter. He doesn't like things out off the ordinary. Mrs doesn't think we should tell them and since she is my allie in this I don't think I should go agains her wishes in this one. Have you guys told you're kids? Did they understand? This is just my personal experance with my kids. Both of them are girls one is 15 the other is 11. At first a few years ago I had told them starting with my oldest about wearing skirts. At first there where a few questions, but as time wore on wearing skirt became a moot point. As a matter of fact they have asked me why I don't wear one more often. Then when I added heels into the mix they really didn't care. Both of my girls support me 100% in the way I choice to dress. My wife on the other hand does not. So with that being said with boys it would proably be a little harder to tell them cause of the way society has said a man or a boy should not dress like this. There is a book out that may help you with this matter as it pretains to a little boy who likes to wear dress. It's called "My Princess Boy" It is a book write by a mother about a little boy who like to wear dress. Now I know this is about a little boy and wearing a dress, but it can also translate to you and wearing heel's since the main theme of the book is acceptance! If you get a chance check it out and maybe have your youngest son take a look at it. Just my 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnW Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Great post - thanks! I have a friend (sadly it isn't really me!) who dresses in front of his wife and 2 girls, including going shopping with them. I can dress when I'm there, which isn't as often as I'd like, but is better than not dressing! He and his wife have been very open to the girls about his dressing - he's worn femme clothes at home since they were born, so they're used to it now. I had a look at My Princess Boy - what an understanding family! He's so cute - I hope he grows up enjoying being dressed as a princess! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crotchboots-m Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 odds are they already know. you could ask them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreshinHeels Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Again great advices however.. After first thinking of letting it be and seeing what happens that started feeling more and more like the wrong approach. Keeping things secret for the kids was feeling the wrong thing to do, it just didn't feel right. Probably also got to do with the fact I had cancer 4 years ago, (it's gone now but I still have to go to docter regurarly) wich does change ones perspective off things (it's a cliche I know but a true on) Guess living in the Netherlands makes a difference. So this morning a talked to the mrs and said I want to tell the kids but only if she's agrees. She was reluctant at first but after talking a while she agreed. Lucky both kids were home, we called them down. Started first that I was not sick, there is no divorce coming etc etc And started to explain the what's the why's and the when's. Reactions: ok if that's what ye wanna do then do it!! From both of them!! WOW me thinking. So proud we are of our kids. I told them I would not wear them outside the house when they are with me. Not that I'm ready tot do that much anyway. Lol except when driving the car I get less pain in my legs driving with heels. So nice now I can walk around the house without having to hide or being afraid off getting caught by the kids. Such a enormous relief I(or we) done this. That was my exciting monday ps txs again for are you're advices you guys are a great help. In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diablo Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Wow congrats on this big step! Very cool that you've got such understanding kids Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 An excellent result. There maybe times that you feel unsure and times fully confident with the boys, I have the same feelings just go with the flow, they may even give you a push. Now to relax and enjoy. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Majo Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Interesting post, FreshinHeels. In our case -we have three kids- we agreed, back in our early years -before married and on the coming of the first child- that I should keep my activities away from the kids. We never talked about this matters with or in front of them, and they never asked; even though some of my stuff was pretty much available for somebody sneaking in my wardrobe; specially in the last couple of years. In the probable case that I was asked by any of the three, I would answer with the truth. I really don't have a clue of what is better. I'm open minded about that, I just keep the agreement I made with my wife more than 20 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Hiding things in a family setting only sows seeds of distrust if it is going to be a secretive lifestyle. Communication and understanding are vitally important to have a foundation when any of the family is confronted in some way. Having secrets should be left to board and card games, not a way of life. A child learns in school, at church, other social activities, with friends, through the media, and even at home the prevailing social attitude about men's and women's attire. If you, as a male parent, secretly hide your heeling activities from your child and the child sees that you seem to support the norm, then your credibility goes down the tubes once they discover anything about your heeling. The same is true in your relationship with your spouse, even if the both of you have talked and have some sort of understanding. If you have to be secretive in any way, how can they trust you, and furthermore, you are practicing to deceive. There is already too much in this world that causes us to be mistrusting, parenting should be the first place a child should be able to depend on to hear and witness the truth. Hiding your heeling desires builds knotty wood fences between you and those in your life. Eventually the knots crack or fall completely out, leaving peep holes for those who choose to look. If they don't condone and/or understand, the trust they had, especially in you, is gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DProud2700 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 My wife and I had a long discussion about this before we let my step-daughters, niece, nephew and my one step-daughter's boyfriend know that I wear heels. They have all understood why I do it and have become quite accepting of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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