Worst and Best Reactions to Guy's Public Heel-Wearing

[Heelfan]

It will be fascinating for us all (and especially for the many shy heel-guys trying to pluck up courage to step outside) to hear about your personal VERY WORST and the VERY BEST reactions from strangers who have spotted your high-heel-wearing. We might get some some bravado from the "It's a doddle" brigade who might be tempted to brush any negative comments under the carpet, and at the other extreme some self-pity from the shy-guys who might well dwell on the bad reactions at the expense of ignoring the good. This is only going to be a true survey if you ALL throw-off any such personal bias and report the worst and best comments in a 100% even-handed manner. If no-one actually SAID anything on these occasions, at least report their expressions and other reactions. I'll start the ball rolling with my own experiences on my next posting, below: Cheerfully Yours, Heelsfan

[Bubba136]

Posted on the men's board

Charity-Walk Guys in High Stilettos!

Posted by Heelfan on June 29, 2003, 8:25:15

Calling all heel-guys - you MUST visit this site:

http://sundial.csun.edu/sun/03s/news/04/30/shoes.gutierrez.html

News report and pictures of dozens of guys doing a charity walk, all in great high stilettos (and many in shorts!). Not a single bad comment from the public - only admiration! Hey, what about our UK group holding a similar charity event? Maybe a great opportunity to wear our favourite 'closet' stilettos openly and unashamedly, whilst also raising some worthwhile money for a charity. Comments please!

Cheerfully yours, Heelfan.

This is the comment in the article that caught my attention: “It looks funny. One man wearing high-heeled shoes will catch your attention, but when you look at so many of them at the same time, it will impact the observer with an audacious scene."

[Firefox]

The worst experience would be someone saying that guy is gay. I know for a fact may women have similarly been called tart's because of their shoes but if you are going to let a few (and it's a VERY few) people dictate your own fashion choice on account of their blind stupid ignorance, then you should aim to become a stronger minded person, for that will benefit yourself and others around you. The best experience would be complete strangers, usually women, complimenting you on your fashion choice and/or asking where you got the boots or otherwise admiring them and your personal style. If anyone doesn't think this ever happens and I am making it up, then I quote the example of the US airline's hostess who approached me while queueing for a meal at that place on the South Bank in London. I think Xaphod/Jeff and others were there at the time, though I can't remember exactly who. In the final analysis, these shoes are showy items and you are going to get comments negative and positive. Men aren't used to getting comments about their clothes because society encourages them to dress like clones. If you want to be a clone, then fine. If you want to try something different then some reaction is part of that process. In my experience that reaction is 90% positive.

[Heelfan]

WORST REACTION: As I reported recently on the 'Aesthetic Heels For Men' site, my worst experience (and in fact, in over 30 years of public heel-wearing, my ONLY really bad moment) happened in my city centre last month when I was taking a late-night stroll in my black 4" blade-heeled Barratt's ankle boots with only a very discreet 1" or so of heel showing below my longish trousers. Unfortunately I found myself walking past past a stationery gang of yobbos. One of them must have had the eyes of a hawk, and I think he must have seen my blade heels from the side which made them look more like stilettos. From behind me I heard an almightly uproar, and I suddenly realised they were all bellowing at me! Some of them quickly circled in front of me, calling me an "F---ing pervert!" and after the gang penned me up against a shopfront, the head bully-boy came forward and asked me what was going on and why was I crippling my feet. He began thundering at all the passers-by "Look, he's got his wife's shoes on!" and the gang were all pointing at my feet. He tried to emulate a plain-clothed policeman (which would have been pretty laughable in normal circumstances) and tried to get me to face the wall and spreadeagle myself. For a few minutes I was convinced that I would get duffed-up, but I managed to face them down and eventually extricate myself by saying several times over in a loud, commanding voice that it was none of their business. They then got bored and melted away, and so did I! I would add that the episode hasn't put me off street-heeling, and I'm looking forward to attending the Oxford Meet on 12th July '03 (yes, in heels!). BEST REACTION: (apart from my super wife's continuous understanding and great support) occurred in my single days over 30 years ago when I was sitting at a table in a London coffee shop waiting for a blind date to arrive. I was beginning to think I had been too rash in wearing my supple light-brown spanish shoes with dark-brown 4.5" cuban heels, which were 100% visible to everyone due to my trouser-legs being pulled-up due to my sitting position. First, a black guy at the next table nodded down at them and said 'Yeah Man .... So Cool ........ they're all RIGHT!, and just then a cheery girl (my date) rushed over, sat down, introduced herself to me and straight-away grinned down at my shoes, saying they were 'Quite nice'. As if that wasn't enough to break the ice, she then APOLOGISED for turning-up in virtually flat shoes and said that in the circumstances she would be too short walking beside me. I immediately took the cue and offered to buy her any high heels of her choice, and after a few polite protests she allowed me to take her to a couple of shoe shops before she chose a knockout pair of yellow 4" stilettos which she proceeded to wear for the rest of the date, and several more dates afterwards. So much for me having worried about putting on my cuban heels! OK guys, it's your turn! Cheerfully yours, Heelsfan

[Yamyam]

Well, here's my 2p: Worst reaction: A severe giggling-at by a car-load of young girls. Best reaction: As we left the Brum Fetish Fair, a couple called me over and asked me where I'd bought my boots. I ended up chatting to them for a couple of minutes. They both finished up by saying that I looked great! I walked out of there on Cloud 9 (which now has some heel marks in it ) Go for it!

[Bubba136]

Worst reaction! Small children (mommy, why is that man wearing high heels) and teen-aged girls (full of pointing and giggles). Both can cause unwanted attention of others. Best reaction was the smile on the face of a woman that realized that we were wearing identical shoes and from a rock musician that complemented me on my choice of footwear. There was one incident where an obvious TV, wearing unisex type clothing, nylon stockings and flat skimmer pumps, commented on my heels. He was working at a department store selling cosmetics. I was shopping with my wife and she stopped at his counter to purchase a refill for her lipstick. Not only was this guy a good salesman and authority on makeup, he was a very quick to identify the brand name of the shoes I was wearing (Ann Kline) and the heel height (3") His initial reaction was quite dramatic. He clapsed his hands, slightly turned his head to the side, rolled his eyes back and exclaimed in a loud, gushing manner: "oh, I just love your shoes." While I didn't mind this reaction, it did call a little more attention than I cared to have.

[SF]

Worst: While shopping for a card at a halmark shop two late teen girls working at the store noted my sandals - slides with a 2 inch heel. Both saw my shoes and began to take less than discreet looks, then finally began to laugh out loud after I made my purchase and left. Best: While in line at a bank a woman in her late 40's early 50's asked me about my shoes - thong slingbacks with a 2 1/2 inch heel. She said they looked nice - never did say anything about the shoes being womens or high heels. Most of the time: No reaction at all and I feel good wearing heels !!! Why should girls have all the fun ???

[Heelfan]

Worryingly, today Jagman has posted on the 'old' Heels For Guys Forum (Firefox's Aesthetic High Heels For Men site) his observation that the guy's street-heeling movement is getting nowhere, and public tolerance for it is plummeting. Does this mean Jagman that you have been getting adverse reaction, and if so, can you can you post it here under 'Worst Reaction'?, and maybe amplify your conclusions with other details? Cheers, Heelsfan.

[sohoboot]

worst reaction: the (female) manager of a restaurant I frequent noticed a pair of heels I was wearing after the leg of my pants had ridden up while I was sitting and later stood up. She went and whispered to another female worker about them (though I couldn't hear what she said). I've repeatedly returned to the restaurant since wearing heels and neither the manager nor any other employee have ever acted like I wasn't in normal male attire. best reaction: well, really, very few strangers ever seem to notice. I guess that, in and of itself, is a good reaction since it's at least indifferent rather than negative. One time, I went out to the movies with a friend and a couple of his friends. I was wearing some noisier heels (though not excessively, more of a paranoia thing). Even though we walked a significant distance together, more than enough for the noise to register, neither of them (one male, one female) said anything. We went out to eat afterward and we were sitting on barstools at a round table, with me on the most visible spot. I had my heels slung over the cross bar of the stool stool (which, on a side note, I found was somewhat of an erotic experience) and despite the female leaving to go to the bathroom and coming back (with my heels plainly visible), she never said anything. Even afterward, in private, neither of them said anything to my friend that we were with. I think the most surprising reaction was the night I told my best friend. We had been best friends for about 10 years. I had started wearing (male) boots around him more often when we'd go out and one day, I switched over to a fairly benign pair of womens boots when we went out. Despite us walking around for a couple hours and my deliberately bending over a couple times to relace them, he never noticed. After we got home, I told him I was disappointed in him for not noticing anything different since he's normally a hawk when it comes to things like that. I lifted up my pant leg to show him and he still didn't register it so I just blurted it right out. My reaction to his reaction was priceless. His response was something along the lines of "yeah... so if you like them, what's the big deal? It's not any different than you showing me a new shirt that you bought." I expected him to be rather upset and doubting how well he knew me, given that I had hidden it from him for years... and it was the exact opposite. Now, he'll tease me if I don't wear a pair when we go out, though it's a little more rare for me to wear them right now given that I'm not ready for the exposure that would come from wearing them with shorts (and I dislike the heat too much to wear pants in the summer)

[Highluc]

Hi Sohoboot, when I read your thread both worst and best reactions are more of a non-event than anything else. The reactions were really yours, not from the others which proves wearing what you like in public is no problem at all and doesn't affect your social life. Which proves what I always said; as long as it looks good and coordinated people will accept it (if they even care at all).

[Heelfan]

Hello Highluc - thanks for contributing some philosophical thought to the debate in your usual profound and eminently intellectual way. Also though, on a more down to earth level that I am sure we would all also enjoy immensely, why not treat us to a couple of actual anectdotes of the best and worst reactions to your OWN heel-wearing. Judging by all of your awesome and relentless activity, surely you can share a couple of memorable moments with us interested rank-and-file heelers? Cheerfully yours, Heelsfan.

[Highluc]

Well Heelsfan, its not easy for me to remember a bad reaction because it's been a while since I got one and because I don't care I tend to forget such things. The latest good one was just half an hour ago when I heard the tune of the ice cream truck in my street. The sunny breaks between the showers still tempted me in an ice cream and after finally finding my wallet I rushed out the door as quick as my tight jeans skirt and matching thong platforms allowed me.

The truck already had rounded off the dead end and was outbound again but some franatical waving on my part caught her attention and after a 180 turn she headed back and stopped in front of my door. While serving me my ice cream (topped off with whip cream yum yum) she casually asked me where I usually bought my shoes. I answered I had these shipped from the USA and that surprised her more than a bit. She then said she often had wondered where all the various styles she saw me in came from because she liked most of them and also asked my size. I told her 40-41 and asked if she had internet access. After she said yes I told her she could see my whole collection on line and she gave me a paper to note the URL after she heard I usually mentioned the place I purchased each style displayed. She thanked me and seemed excited to check my website as soon as she finished work. She (a 30 year old girl) waved at me when leaving and I felt a very happy man again walking back to my porch in my "unique" footwear.

I'm sure I had better reactions before but this just happened and I thought you might be interested.

I just remember a (little) bad one as well, less than a year ago when Xaphod, Calv, (and maybe Lion and/or the creator of this board) were heeling around in the old part of Brussels, we crossed a cobble stone street and out of the driver window of a van that slowed down a young french speaking guy shouted so the rest of the street could hear it that we were faggots. We just pursued our direction to the adjacent window of a shoe store and didn't react but I still remember Xaphod mentioning that was very courageous of that guy, because the 4 (or 5) of us could easely have turned around and beat the s... of his little white van, maybe even turning him on the side. Besides our heels we all wore normal male attire. In fact this was more fun than ennoying and shouldn't be counted as bad experience.

As most know I could write a book about experiences but instead of repeating it here I recomend the interested ones to read the about me diary pages on my website where most is already published and illustrated.

[Heelfan]

Thank you Highluc for your kind contributions to this little survey. The interest shown by the 30-year-old ice-cream-selleress was GREAT. After her next visit, don't forget to tell us what she thought of the entire might of your site (including your amazing collection, and 'Poor Boy' and all your other stories etc.!), but DON'T tell your cardiologist that you're dashing out in various heels for all that yummy cholesterol! Regarding the Belgian van driver shouting 'Faggot', I'm not familiar with that term here in the UK (except as a bundle of firewood or a meatball), but one of the American heelers recently posted that he had been called a 'Faggot' in the States. Does it means perhaps a 'Gay' perhaps, or maybe a 'Pratt/Walley/Nerd/Jerk etc.' Only asking because it sounds as if me or some of the other UK street-heelers might start getting called 'Faggot' at some stage, and we'll then know what we are supposed to be (over and above being van-capsizers, of course!). Cheerfully Yours, Heelsfan.

[Highluc]

That French speaking guy of course didn't shout faggot but all kind of expressions in french including some high pitched "mademoiselle" (young lady?). Being stuck in the traffic it lasted quite a while but most of the people around apparently were more surprized about the guys attitude and remarks instead of our heeled footwear. PS: I'll post the follow on about the ice cream girl if my cholesterol goes down and the temperatures up next week.

[Rockpup]

Yes, faggot or fag is slang for gay in the united states.. Reminds me of an interview with a german racecar mechanic working with some british mechanics "you english have 40 words for homosexual, but only one word for chain" Jim

[Heelfan]

Thank you JimC for the clarification, and that's a good observation about words for gays and a chain! Thank you to all who have contributed to this survey so far - it is extremely fascinating! Already I think I detect a trend emerging: WORST REACTIONS: Mainly the young - precocious youngsters through to giggling schoolgirls through to young oiks and yobbos. BEST REACTIONS: Older, more mature people and especially women! Maybe this indicates that tolerence, insight and even genuine sympathetic understanding might come with age, and maybe with the feminine gifts of warmth and intuition? Anyway, let's see ................ more responses please guys! Cheerfully yours, Heelsfan.

[Heelfan]

Thank you JimC for the clarification, and that's a good observation about words for gays and a chain! Thank you to all who have contributed to this survey so far - it is extremely fascinating! Already I think I detect a trend emerging: WORST REACTIONS: Mainly the young - precocious youngsters through to giggling schoolgirls through to young oiks and yobbos. BEST REACTIONS: Older, more mature people and especially women! Maybe this indicates that tolerence, insight and even genuine sympathetic understanding might come with age, and maybe with the feminine gifts of warmth and intuition? Anyway, let's see ................ more responses please guys! Cheerfully yours, Heelsfan.

[micha]

Hi Heelman, here my answer to your question! The worst reactions - a police car following me for dozens of meters - a turkish guy asking me "Do you come from a carnival party?". Me "No, I wear always high heels". His answer "Rrreally? Crrass!". But this happened at carnival time - young turkish teenie boys hanging around in front of the internet cafe in my heighbourhood whistling after me as if I were a girl - a young school girl staring at me as if I were a ghost - several times giggling teenie girls behind me The best reactions - the cool and encouraging behaviour of many friends - the funny reaction of my mother when I told her that I like to wear high heels - the lack of any reaction by 99.9 % of people I met in public My experiences confirm your conclusion about giggling teenie girls and HiLucs observations about the tolerance rsp. indifference of the big majority. Concerning synonyms for "homosexual/ity", in Germany we have also a lot of expressions but I'm afraid that most of them are bad: "Schwul" (the accepted expression, also used by gay guys themselves) "vom anderen Ufer" (from the other bank) "Tunte" and "Trine" (for effeminate or crossdressing gays) "Schwuchtel", "Schwuli", "Arschficker" (suitable for stupid heteros) and the english words "Gay","Queer" and "Drag Queen". Still a counterquestion: What are "Yobbos" and "Oiks"? I presume, some very unpleasant racist fractions of the skinhead movement ... Am I right? nice greetings micha (*schwul* ) PS For understanding the meaning of the word "faggot" I had to consult my 1500 pages dictionary from "Langenscheidt". But I found the translation "schwul".

[Heelfan]

Hello Micha! Thank you for your constribution to the survey (excellent English!) and for telling us the German words for 'faggot'. I was intrigued when you mentioned your Mother's 'funny reaction' when you told her about your heels. Can you say any more about this for us? 'Oiks' and 'Yobbos' are not necessarily racist. They are simply the rough and uncouth young men that the city centres of most nations suffer from, often drinking too much beer these days and picking fights with anyone - particularly with football supporters. Also known as hooligans, ruffians, bovver boys, roughnecks, scamps, curmudgeons, knaves, misfits, varlets, scoundrels, hoddypeaks and youths involved in bawdy behavior of the worst order and the commissiuon of disgraceful deeds, not to mention harrassing one innocent Heelfan! Cheers, Heelfan.

[Firefox]

Curmudgeons...hoddypeaks...?!!!!!!! It sounds like you have been looking in the 1948 Oxford English thesaurus for Grammar School Students edited by the late A E W R Blanchard-Fouwks Esq BA MA (Cantab) MBE If anyone is in England, stick to Oik or Yobbo and you have a good chance of being understood!

[The Mad]

(still confused)

[Heelfan]

Yes, I'll stick to 'Yobbos' or 'Thugs'. Sorry, we digress from the topic, so can I get back to asking everyone for more Worst and Best Reactions received, please? Cheers, Heelsfan.

[micha]

I was intrigued when you mentioned your Mother's 'funny reaction' when you told her about your heels. Can you say any more about this for us?

That's a two part story.

Part 1:

Last year I appeared at the annual Christmas family meeting with flared hip jeans and Buffalo platform boots (with fat 2.5'' soles). My sister Tina (living since years in Paris) said "Michael, what crazy boots are you wearing? That's the typical footwear of young girls in the suburbs of Paris". My mother only asked "But you are really big enough, why do you wear shoes with such soles?"

I answered "I like it and thats the style matching perfectly to my flared jeans. And - Tina - how can I buy them in my big size if they are only girlie boots?". I couldn't resist to add "Besides I have platform boots with real high heels". In concordance with our 'good old' family tradition this delicate subject had to be finished. The conversation changed over to other subjects.

Part 2:

Some weeks ago my mom called me. After chatting a while by accident shoe sizes became the topic. I felt that this would be a good oportunity for applying the sledge hammer because my family simply needs it. I just remember my attempts of my first gay outing... (original tone "We aren't interested in your sexual life")

I answered "My problem is much more to find high heels in my size :oops:". My 75 years old mom "High heels ?!? Er .... are you now a 'tunte' ?" (because of the translation see my last posting). Me "Yes!!! ... er... not really, but I like to wear high heels". My mom grinning embarrassed and a little bit schocked (I could feel both through the phone receiver ). But finally she has got it! I'm sure that she doesn't like it really but otherwise I felt that she has accepted my passion.

BTW: It was the same story with my tattoo!

nice greetings

micha

[tuckedintoboots]

its the same with my mom micha, (shes 73 herself) so she did the same with my blade heel boots & also my newest styles of mega platform sandals (black, from demonia) so its kind of hard for the older generation to handle these new fashion ideas you see.......... yours, Brad

[AZShoeNut]

Well, I do not have a best reaction but I do have a worst reaction. I was not the wearer in the worst reaction. I have not yet had the juevos to actually go out in public with heels on. Anyhow, I used to work for an aerospace company and was stuck in a room with some very closed minded, highly judgmental gals. Another gal, a secretary for the building manager, visited and related her story about her trip to Sedona from the weekend before. Sedona is a beautiful town in the red rocks north of Phoenix where there are a lot of open minded, spiritual people. She related her story of being in line with a nice looking, well-dressed man at a grocery store. When the man finished paying for his stuff he walked away with the sound of heels. She looked down to find him wearing four inch red pumps. She said that she gawked with disgust and could not believe the strange people that exist in the world today. Then all of them discussed how bad things were and what else should she expect from Sedona. Well, I don't think that the guy wearing the heels even knew about the disgust experienced behind him in Sedona but I sure did catch its blow. It was a really an unfortunate deal. You know I am sure that those gals had mentioned how they wished their husbands would go shopping with them. It is kind of an irony that they complain that their men would not go shopping with them but they would turn their nose up to a guy that would happily go shoe shopping with them. That is my worst experience with public heels. AZShoeNut

[bob2hh]

Dear All, People is quite incoherent. I haven't had this experience by myself, but I would bet my neck that most of the potential Oiks, Yobbos, Hooligans or call-them-the-way-you-like that would easily jump to bite you in the yugular if you were seen wearing heels, would wear many of them piercings, long hair and other signs that only 20 years ago would have made them be considered affeminates. So what ?

[Heelfan]

Yes! To sum-up yours and countless previous postings on these forums: Women can and do dress-up in men's clothes (trousers, jackets, collars, ties, stout flat shoes, short hair etc. etc.) and no-one bats an eyelid. Men can deck themselves out with kaftans, long hair, beads, ear-rings, body-piercing etc. etc. and still no-one bats an eyelid. And yet the subject of men wear high heels, particularly high stilettos seems to be regarded be many as a line that cannot be crossed without the risk of serious embarrassment and worse, hence very very sadly, guy after guy admits on the men's forums that they'd dearly love to step out into the wide world in heels, but just has not got the courage! It's fascinating that this high-heels 'barrier' seems to survive in so many people's minds when the other above trans-gender issues have been generally accepted by now. Perhaps it's because high heels are much more powerful as sexual symbols than all the other clothes and adornments? One reason for inviting the BEST reactions (as well as the worst ones) is to encourage the waverers and shy-guys into stepping-out. We veteran streetheelers, and especially the celebrated Hilucs, Firefoxes and Xaphods of this world will tell the waverers that their fears are totally unfounded, and that it's a doddle and a cinch when you actually get going! LET'S HAVE LOTS MORE WORST AND BEST REACTIONS, PLEASE! Cheerfully Yours, Heelsfan

[Firefox]

To comment on AZ's story, I don't think you get the true feelings when people are in a group like that. It's peer pressure to make the expected reaction. Perhaps some people have an alternative opinion but don't care to express it to spoil a quick group laugh. For example, if I'm in group of 10 people all drinking, and someone says gay people are disgusting perverts etc then perhaps I'll drink some more beer and think that person is ignorant. I'm not about to get into an argument with people who can't understand some very basic principles.

[micha]

To comment on AZ's story, I don't think you get the true feelings when people are in a group like that. It's peer pressure to make the expected reaction. Perhaps some people have an alternative opinion but don't care to express it to spoil a quick group laugh. For example, if I'm in group of 10 people all drinking, and someone says gay people are disgusting perverts etc then perhaps I'll drink some more beer and think that person is ignorant. I'm not about to get into an argument with people who can't understand some very basic principles.

Hi Firefox,

Ten guys in a bar, one idiot scoffing about gays and nine guys drinking silent their beer? And you right in the midst without protesting against this blockhead? Please, don't disappoint me!

Such behaviour allows of no excuse. You should protest in any case. Even at the risk to be suspected to be gay yourselves. Obviously a trauma of most heterosexual guys

I can't believe that you would behave in this situation like a coward. I know that it's difficult to convince narrow minded or really stupid people. But there are still eight other guys...

micha

[Heelfan]

Don't blame Firefox too much Micha! I think he was only speaking hypothetically to try and point out that not everyone in that Aerospace group necessarily agreed with the snidey comments. Firefox has probably done as much, if not more than anybody (ie setting-up and moderating his own 'Aesthetic High Heels for Men' Site amongst many other things) to champion the cause of guys in heels and general free-styling for guys. A veritable 'Giant amongst men!' in fact (helped by his 4 1/2" Barretts' blades, of course!). Cheerfully yours, Heelsfan.