evilscotsman Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 i dont know if this is the right forum but hey ill give it a bash. right basically after a about 10 months of knowing a person who incidently wears the sexiest boots i have known (this has nothin to do with her boots) i asked her out and she said although we spend all the itme we have spare together. continually meeting up for coffees movies meals dog walking nights out christmas shopping for each other, ive introduced her to my friends and they get along. Ive met her mum n dad and they like me been to hers for lunch which she prepared and we hug and br silly together all the time.... well anyway she said that from a purley selfish way she has never had a close male friend and that she wouldnt want to loose me and therefore she said no because when it ended she would end up loosing me and she didnt want to loose me. After not speaking to each other fo aweek we decided to meet up and chat about it. She claimed that she would marry me tomorrow if it was not for her selfish way but she didnt want the threat of loosing me if it ended. is this worth persuing and to try and change her mind? cheers in advance
Dr. Shoe Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Point out that an end to a relationship need not mean the end of a friendship. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Danielinheels Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Just continue to grow your friendship with her. DO NOT try to force her into something that she's not ready for yet. That will push her away. In six months, or a year, or three years, she may come around. You've made your feelings clear, she's made her feelings clear, now it's time for the both of you to go forward knowing how the other feels. You have to not angle too aggressively for a relationship and she owes you the respect of not leading you on if she knows she isn't ready for one. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
barbara Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 I would give it time. My thinking is that she likes you alot .Sometimes lovers start out as friends.
Tech Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 If it happens, let it happen, if it doesnt, definately dont force it or try to make it happen as that makes things uncomfortable. Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!
M-a Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 Give it time. It's all out there now so all you can do is wait and see. Although I would be concerned over the fact that she automatically assumes that you'll someday break up.. Hopefully it has got nothing to do with her feelings towards you but it still makes me sad for you (and her) to read that she has all this strong feelings for you and still is determined that it will eventually end. Maybe she's had some bad experience in the past and this is what makes her think this way? Good luck! “Sometimes you have to sacrifice your performance for high heels” www.heelsoholic.com
sendra45 Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 go and treat yourself to watching the film 500 Days of Summer (2009) it is not about shoes, but worth a watch. The angels have the phonebox.
ShoeDre Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 I'm sorry, but to me this is the most idiotic answer you could have received. Clearly you need to be less of a friend for her to be interested in you. After all, who would want to be with someone they would consider a friend. Furthermore, she would marry you if she liked you less. /end_sarcasm Sorry to be so sarcastic, but this sort of answer is inane. Find someone else who is not such a baby! Now my wife says, "This is woman code for the fact that she doesn't like you in that way." Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Bubba136 Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 I'm sorry, but to me this is the most idiotic answer you could have received. Clearly you need to be less of a friend for her to be interested in you. After all, who would want to be with someone they would consider a friend. Furthermore, she would marry you if she liked you less. /end_sarcasm Sorry to be so sarcastic, but this sort of answer is inane. Find someone else who is not such a baby! Now my wife says, "This is woman code for the fact that she doesn't like you in that way." Best advice, in my opinion, out of all posted here. It is obvious to me that ShoeDre's wife has it pegged. While she's a good friend to you at the moment, she probably doesn't consider you as being "potential life mate" material. One way quick way to test her commitment would be to make a date with another woman and tell her that you can't make an event with her because you will be busy on a date with this other woman. If she cares for you as a potential partner, she will reveal her true feelings at your next encounter. The danger with this approach is that she might not agree to seeing you again. However, the up-side of this is that you've only accelerated the inevitable -- that is, her severing her connections with you (dumping) when it is convenient to her. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Puffer Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 ... after a about 10 months of knowing a person ... i asked her out and she said [no,] although we spend all the itme we have spare together. continually meeting up for coffees movies meals dog walking nights out christmas shopping for each other, ive introduced her to my friends and they get along. Ive met her mum n dad and they like me been to hers for lunch which she prepared and we hug and br silly together all the time... Is that a fair precis of your original statement, which was not an easy read? I may be an old fart with little understanding of modern relationships or misused language, but haven't you just spent most of the last ten months 'going out with' this girl - who you say now refuses to 'go out with' you? From what you've said, you've done more with her than have many people who are in a permanent relationship! I guess you mean that you now want a close/intimate/permanent relationship to the exclusion of others; am I right? For what it's worth, I think you are wasting your time if you truly want something more than casual friendship, however often you may do things together. I know a lovely couple (not young, but young at heart) who have great fun together and are clearly soul-mates - BUT she knows that she is selfish by nature and does not want to hurt him by 'failing' in the permanent relationship which he would like. So, they stay good friends but with separate lives and I can't help thinking that they both miss out.
Bubba136 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Shoot, KH, if he is successful with other women after doing all that you suggest, I doubt he will care a wit about the first woman....he'll be to busy with the others...... Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Dawn HH Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I tell the true story about Mickey and I--- After dating her for a few months, I said to her,"Did you ever think of marrying me?" She giggled and didn't reply. I waited a few weeks and ask her a second time. She blushed and didn't reply. After a few weeks more I ask her once again. She just looked at me and didn't reply. After asking her a fourth time she replied, "I have been thinking of quitting my job and going to Florida with my maiden Aunt". My reply to that was---"If you think that I am going to chase you to Florida to get you to marry you, it isn't going to happen. You had better make up your mind now or forget it. After a few days waiting I finally got my answer. She said to me that we better sit down and get serious about setting a date to be married. BINGO!!! Now look what it all turned out to become, 41 years of marriage, soul mates, and I wouldn't give her up for anything and she wouldn't trade me for a million dollars. It pays to be persistant if you are sure she is the one you want and well worth spending your life with her, and they said it wouldn't last. What do they know? Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
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