Guys in heels. Girls opinions wanted, guys welcome.

[Acadianheels]

Guys in heels. Girls opinions wanted, guys welcome.

Ok, well here goes...my first post on this site...

I will try to get to the point quickly but first let me say that I am psyched to be on this forum for many reasons which I will get to later.

Ok, what I want to know, is for the general group here, however I am really know to know what the girls think.

The Question.

Should guys wear stiletto high heels in there every day wardrobe if they wish? Basically should guys have the same clothing rights and freedoms that girls have without prosecution from the general public or do you (the girls) think that high heels, skirts, hose and girl jeans should be just for the ladies?

My Tangent.

This subject has been very heavy in my mind lately. For a few reasons. I am a normal every day guy with a girlfriend (who doesn’t know I love to wear high heels....yet). I am very heterosexual....very much so. I work a blue collar job and make a modest income. I live in Maine but the general public here are very "old fashioned" and usually don’t take to well to people who think and do stuff outside of the box. For me, I don’t want to move because this is my home....but I have studied human nature. We seek and do what makes us feel good. High heels make me feel really good. They feel right to me. I love the look of them, I love the feel of them. So I wear them at home at night while tooling around on the net. I have taken pictures of myself in them. I have gone out in Drag on Halloween just so I could wear them out in public. I am irritated at the fact the popular fashion designers have not focused more on guys wearing high heels because the shoe manufacturers could double there profits in sales if guys wearing high heels became acceptable by the general public...or at least the Hollywood types then followed by the general public.

I wish that high heels were acceptable for all everyone to wear. In the city....I imagine it would be just another person with self expression, but where I live, you get linched for stuff like that cause all of a sudden you are gay, or a transvestite, or a freak or whatever. I have talked about this sort of stuff....very carefully with people in my area when the subject has happened to land on high heels. Which, how I did that could be a whole separate post, but the general feeling I got was, girls should wear high heels, and guys who wear them are either gay, or about to become gay. I have only met a couple guys who said ‘that would be odd if guys could wear high heels like girls wear slacks without it being weird’. I once did a sociology study for collage on gender identity and clothing freedoms. Our class was an open forum, so you would present your topic and then the class would discuss there view points, but your view point would have to be open ended thus to not make yourself a target in the topic. The class was about half and half girls and guys. The guys were mostly hicks, and not to pass too much judgement I knew they would take a Negative outlook on the proposal of the question above. I knew that our class could not represent the total population in general. There had to be more open minded guys out there...and here I found some on this forum...good to go guys...way to be free with your heels....The girls in the class, were all very open about it. I think there was only one chick who totally disapproved, but unlike the guys in the class she had valid well thought out reasons for her stance. I had almost showed up to the class in heels, shaved legs, nylons and a skirt...just for shock value and to see how the judgement went. I talked to the very open minded instructor and he actually talked me out of the idea. I liked the thought of what I was trying to accomplished but felt that I would not be keeping my topic open ended and that I would be making too much of a statement, noting the type of guys we had in the class at the time. He was more fearful for how they would react to me for the rest of the semester. He offered to allow me to do my topic at another school in Mass he taught at from time to time. I almost took him up on it just to see how people in the city would have reacted..

There is a guy down in Texas who’s name I will not mention, but teaches in a university and from the waist down dresses like a girl (heels, nylons and just over the knee skirts) and from the waist up wears the top half of a business suit. Other then the heels he almost looks scottish...no offence any scottsmen who read this.....I think he is the coolest guy cause he is being free with his clothing, but through that he has had a hard time in the dating world and has had multiple people pass very negative judgements on him.

I hope to one day be able to join in a world wide breaking of the gender identity clothing prison we have created for ourselves as a society. Women can dress like women or men and it is ok. Guys think a woman in a skirt is "Hot", or in a business suit is "Hot" I understand that....but do girls think a guy who dresses in a pair of pants and pair of stiletto high heels is hot? Or just a pair of hikers or converse?

So basically all of this has prompted my question. Thank you all for letting me have a voice.

[johnieheel]

This has been gone over and over around here always looking for acceptance or approval from women and men. What it really boils down to is if you want to wear heels or whatever, just do it and who cares what other people think. You only go around once. Don't miss out by trying to be someone your not. If you can't be your self, than who can you be? As for me, most everybody knows that I am very blessed with a beautiful wife and some here have met her in person and will tell you the same thing I just did. She is the most supportive person I know and won't go out in heels unless I wear mine. We also live in a very small back wood town and most everybody, including my kids know I wear heels and it doesn't make me a different person than the man I am. You don't need approval to be your self. Just do it. Another great example is HappyFeat and thighbootguy. These are two of the most courageous men I know and a real inspiration to us all.

[roz]

Not much that I can say that hasn't been said before. As said above, it's up to you what you wear. I don't really dig the look personally, but that shouldn't stop guys wearing whatever they like. It just boils down to the fact if you dare to be different to most people you're always going to attract more attention.

[crotchboots-m]

like johnieheel sez,the only thing standing in your way is yourself. some will hate it,some will like it and most will pretend it doesnt exist. the rest is up to you

[Acadianheels]

I would agree with you all on that. The issue I have is deciding weather or not to take the gamble concerning certain groups of people I am involved with now. For example. My family...My parents will be like...yeah we figured from way back when you were young...my brothers would be confused but I think they would accept it. No probs...Other family would accept...cool. However I am involved in a few youth group organizations. I know if I came out of the shoe closet even as a guy dressing like a guy in chunk heels, would instantly equal expulsion from these groups. I am involved in a civic group of which the same outcome would occur. The sad part is, even if I was just at a coffee shop and one of the members of any of the groups were to see such a thing would petition for exit. My religious affiliations...well the worshipers would be mixed but and too be expected......I guess making that leap of faith if you will forgive the pun, would create a dramatic change in my general social standing... I don’t care what people in general think of me, however, what I do care about is how people affect what I try to do in life. I really enjoy working with youth. I have a lot to offer them as a mentor and they have a lot to offer as to reminding me what it means to be a kid. Keeps me young at heart. I know that part of my life would go away. The closed tight nit community I live with would basically label me a "Social threat" to there children’s up bringing. It is a sad thing that people feel that way. You are all right in the fact that I should just come out and be myself...but I have to come to the acceptance it will come with the sacrifice of some things I love to do. I think part of my problem is a I am a giver and I always put how other people feel first...I think I will have to do like some of you have done and wear mid heels and slowly increase height over time. I could be wrong but I think in this community as a single guy living alone with his dog, should start short and work my way up. I have a lot to think about on this because I want to be myself out there in the real world but also want to preserve what I have worked towards in my life being all the above mentioned stuff... Johnieheel, I hope to one day have a wife as accepting as yours. I truly thing if I did have one as accepting as yours, this would be way way easier, because from the outside world looking in, would most likely come to the conclusion that ...oh, he has a girlfriend...ok so he just like heels...weird...but ok.....I could be wrong on that, but in my position right now, I think they would all think much differently....and I am not taking anything away from you Johnieheel cause you are an inspiration to me as a lot of you on here are.....I don’t know...maybe this is all just random rambling...And me looking to just justify my life choices......My day will come, but will have to come with careful planning cause I want to make a seamless transition to not loose out I guess is the bottom line for me. Thanks guys for listening to me ramble on and on. =o) I think I will just keep my eyes here to gain wisdom from you as to what works and doesn’t and go from there. You all rock. Acadianheels

[Bubba136]

Acadianheels: I am really sympathetic to your plight. I must say, however, in this day and age -- at least in the USA -- there isn't any room for non-conformity or antisocial behavior, on any adult leader's part, while involved with children.....of any age. There have just been too many instances, in the past few years, of adults leading spectacularly successful youth oriented programs that are really doing "good" things," that eventually have been exposed as "child abusers" or pedophiles to the extent that anyone working with youth groups is watched extremely carefully if not downright "suspiciously." Under these circumstances, there isn't any room for anyone harboring what "could" be "looked upon" by anyone as deviant sexual tendencies (or ideas), working with children. Especially, if as you say you are a single guy living alone with a dog. This is just my opinion. And, my advice would be to either bury these tendencies really deeply into your sub-conscious and deal with children without having the threat of "exposure" hanging over your life or completely separating yourself from working with children if you cannot overcome the desire to wear high heels. Under no circumstances (once again my opinion) should you even give the slightest indication that you are inclined to stray from the straight and narrow while trying to continue working with youth programs. Someone, somewhere will eventually notice you, recognize you and "spill the beans" that you really are engaging in some "socially unapproved practices." The consequences of mixing (would/could be looked upon as) deviant sexual desires with conducting/organizing youth programs is very dangerous to the extent that exposure could lead to incarceration for a lengthy period. Even though you represent no greater threat to the well being of their children than the Land Rover on mars, people are really hypocritical when it come to their offspring's presumed "safety." Sorry, but oil and water don't mix. And mixing your love for high heels with love for youth oriented civic activities is like pouring water on manganese... ignition quickly follows. Take care. We'd hate to read about you in the newspaper. ("There recently was a criminal court case near where I live that pitted the state against a high school physical education teacher. It seems that an underaged young lady emailed some nude photographs of herself to his email address at the school. Then, she circulated the rumor that he had "forced" her to take the pictures and email them to him. The guy was arrested when the police investigated the complaint, confenscated his computer and found the pictures. He was placed on administrative leave by the school and. months later. when the police looking for more evidence against the guy, found a text message in the girls telephone file where she had sent the same "email" to one of her friends along with the explanation that she was "going to nail the SOB, once and for all by making up the entire story." The state dropped the charges against the teacher and the girl is now serving time in juvinile hall for her conduct. The teacher, however cannot find a job because of the "untrue" charge against him. Even though the entire world is aware that he wasn't guilty of anything, whenever prosepective employeers are found, they are unwilling to hire him just because of the "adverse" publicity the entire case created. "Now, the teacher is suing the girls family and the school for damages because he can't ever get his good reputation back. The case is ongoing. The suit hasn't been heard yet. )

[johnieheel]

Acadianheels: I agree with Bubba 100%. I had an experience that a lot of the members here know about and I wrote about. RadioDave, my wife and a friend met up for the first time for lunch and a little shopping in Canton Oh last summer and had a great time. We all wore heels. My step daughter, her hubby and kids and all the rest of my family know about my heels. My step daughter and her kids, 7 and 13 just happen to be at one of the stores we were at and noticed. Much to my surprise, they did not take it well and I haven't spoken to them since. My other daughter, wifes family and all the rest of my family including my brother plus all 99.9% of the people I know are all ok with it. It bothered me for a while but did not slow down my heeling or who I am. They are red neck and raised in a box and thats just my point to what Bubba has to say. If your such a mentor to these kids and they look up to you then teach them how to go through life with an open mind and that it's ok to be yourself. My kids were taught that but one of them missed something. Not my fault. BTW she is a boyscout troop leader and her mother is a truck driver. So what the he.. is wrong with a man having a shoe preference with higher heels? Most of the people, like I said, are just fine with it. You to will probably be surprised. Please do not teach these kids to grow up thinking they have to be something they are not!

[Acadianheels]

Bubba and Johnnie, So now you know where I am coming from as far as the Acceptance thread goes. Thank you very much for your reply here too both of you. I completely agree with you both as to why I keep my heeling 99.99% in my little apt. The alone thing...working on that with a lovely girl from the neighborhood who seems extremely understanding about the odd social issues of life...so if we should get together...(keeping figures crossed) and I was to travel down the path of letting her know I would put a pretty steap bet that she would accept it...but that is in the future....as for the civic group thing.... TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU...I think about this stuff all the time. Everyday I work with kids, my heeling goes through my mind, and "what would they think...or what would there parents think". I always try to be the very best example of a "normal" man, and I quote that for obvious reasons. Cause what's normal these days. I am so increadibly far from being a sexual perv it isn't funny. I wouldn't hurt the hair on anyone of there heads...ever....and the wierd part is...being that the age groups I work with the most is the 11-21 aged youth. I think if somehow word got out. They would all back, and encourage me. Not that I am going to tell them....ever.....but the parents would assemble a linch mob with tourches and pitchforks to go burn the witch for sure. Plus being a red-neck community, doesn't help our cause either, but I digress... The bottom line is my guidance and mentoring to youth has and always will come before any of my 'earthly desires' to wear heels in public. I have for the most part come to terms with that. My heeling will never affect trying to be a good influence to these kids who need "older" friends they can look up to. So that is first for me. Then after work/volunteering....and in the privacy of my own home...then I can heel. Plus my 'get out of jail free' card of Halloween. =o) So my post about general acceptance I think was more of my "wish apon a star" moments that the general pop of the world comes to the conclution that some guys wear heels...it isn't a big deal. That thought carrying through so when guys like me do come out....or get found out...the general pop does no harm to us. But I guess at this time in life...it might be a pipe dream. Besides this community of heelers...there is only one person in my life who knows of my love for heels. It will most likely stay that way. Oh and Bubba...I promise to you, that I will not become another statistic. k. =o) I know you guys don't know me really from Adam...but in time...you will get to know me and see that I really try to do good around here. Especially in Maine....lots of troubled youth. We don't really have much here to offer young folks. There are hardly any youth programs....I am quite religous too...and unless prompted in a topic of discussion, I never bring out into the open to try to influence people. I do the same in my youth groups. I never try to make kids think that my way is the only way. Or my ideas are the only good ones. I stive to do as you have both sugguested and teach them to keep an open mind. What helps is we have had some kids come through who were struggling with sexual orientation issues...so it is always a good op for me to teach acceptance. for sure. Oh well...I guess until I am quite older, I will be an 'in the shadows' heeler. =o) Inside of corse. =o) Thank you both once again for your time, in which you have taken to reply. Hey Johnnie, "My step daughter and her kids, 7 and 13 just happen to be at one of the stores we were at and noticed. Much to my surprise, they did not take it well and I haven't spoken to them since. My other daughter, wifes family and all the rest of my family including my brother plus all 99.9% of the people I know are all ok with it. It bothered me for a while but did not slow down my heeling or who I am. They are red neck and raised in a box and thats just my point to what Bubba has to say." Dude...I am sorry to hear that about the daughter...I can't even imagine going through that...must have been tough. Hopefully it works itself out, as I know time heals(no pun intended), but they will come around eventually.... I have been terrified that similar things would happen to me if I were to ever come out full bore. So my heeling has been with mostly cowboy boots in public. Something fairly acceptable to have a "stacked riding heel" of like 2 - 2.5 inches. I do that all the time in warmer weather...I have like a half dozen great cowboy boots that go great with almost all of my jeans. So, that rocks and not one person has ever given me a hard time other then my mother who is always more concerned about how pointy my boots are, then the heel height....if she only knew....So I am able to saticefy a majority of my heeling that way and still maintain my social status in the community. I think one day, maybe when I am a bit more tired....and a whole lot older and maybe not so entrenched in the community thing...then I will come completely out...We will see what the future holds... Thanks again for your reply.

[johnieheel]

Trust me, I know where your coming from my friend. Sometimes it's just not easy being me as they say.lol As for the step daughter and the kids, for one, I will not tolerate disrespect and being called a fagot from a 7 yr old. I don't blame him but his parents. Thats kinda what set it all off. As for the way I feel about it , there is a loss here but not mine. As for you seeing a girl and trying to have a relationship. well you can go through the threads here by the hundreds and find out you better tell her now. Do not wait, it will be bad! I just hope you are teaching those children that individuality is a good thing. Good luck and God Bless. BTW wife and I not only tend church every Sun but both of us wear our heels also. You know of the song "JUST AS I AM" right? God loves me for who I am and how I behave, not for the shoes on my feet.

[Histiletto]

Hi Acadianheels, You have found a forum of people who have the same concerns that you have expressed. How each of us choose to deal with this varies from an all out exhibition to wear what we desire to complete abstinence, depending on our situations. Since I'm a guy, I hope you don't mind if some of my thoughts have a feminine ring. We even vary in the options of high heels we will wear. Some heelers choose to wear the big and bold block styles. Others go for the blade, slimmed, or tapered heels. Then as you seem to have chosen, the stiletto is preferred. Platforms are often figured into a lot of these choices. This is just a type of summary of the various choices people in this forum are making. Some will even venture to the more exotic high no heels footwear, to ballet heels, to metal spring heels, or to whatever the innovative style that seem to strike a fancy. The common part here is these are styles viewed by society as not being high heel options for males to choose from. This attitude originated from the false idea that men and women can't share the same desires. It also has historical roots to the French revolution where people would lose their heads when found wearing high heels. Some how society wove this attitude into what has become the social standard for the proper men's wardrobe and then denied males have any desire to wear high heels. If they did, it wasn't deemed proper and therefore perverted. Of course, the hiding of this desire by males hasn't helped the situation either, for it has incouraged the social assumption of being unacceptable and deviant. Furthermore to heighten the shame for male heeling, the attraction for high heels has been used in enhancing and promoting the public display of sexual behaviors that are suppose to be private activities of affection between married couples should they choose to do so. One would think the solution to overcoming all these social obstacles to male heeling, would be to bring out the origin and facts that are supporting this misguided social attitude. However, the hardest thing to change is a closed mind, which is a mind that is not being used for no more than basic needs. An open mind is always actively evaluating and countinually aligning one's thinking with the actual truths as the bits of information become available. How to open a closed mind is the current dilemma? Is it through methodical interventions of enlightenment? Perhaps throwing monthly exhibitions like costume parties or opposite clothing days where men have to wear women's attire and women try to find something that is men's they don't already wear. How about scheduling regular open public discussions about male heeling through the media? If more heelers went on-line to other chat rooms and promoted or made comments, not from a pushy or bullying position, to bring out the facts about male heeling, this could at least heighten public awareness. Last, but not least, is the increased public heeling participation is probably the best way to let people know men can and want to wear high heels.

[radiodave]

Acadianheels: Welcome! Yes, you raise some interesting points, and we don't mind your rambling. I can see how being associated with the youth that could raise some red flags if you wore heels. Just today, I was itching to do some public heeling, something I've done many times already. Today I wanted to wear my tall boots with boot cut jeans, but chickened out. Could be because one of my stops was to get new tires for my car, and I personally detest dealing with any automotive service places. Anyway, while my car was being worked on, a mother and her young son were there, and the kid was not only running all over the store, but I had to avoid stepping on his toy truck as his mom and he were pushing it all over the store. Later, the kid was going up to everyone and saying "hi". It dawned on me that when I smiled at the kid saying "hi" to everyone, his mom might have been a little nervous about the guy wearing 4" stiletto boots, whereas she was smiling when I was wearing my normal, boring shoes. So, no pushing the envelope today. For the most part, folks are pretty indifferent to my public outings. One time I actually got a compliment from a guy, despite wearing women's pants, the shoes in my avatar, and carrying a small handbag since the pants had zero cargo space. Still, since I'm one of the few guys in the area you would ever see wearing high heels, I can't help but wonder how many people might be a little fearful or get the wrong idea.

[Eggnog]

Well, most everything has been said, but I wish to say that you have to make the call on when and where to wear your heels. If you are confident and keep your head high you'll come through anything. Remember: For every negative, there are two positive.

[johnieheel]

Good point Dave.

[Dawn HH]

And you might have a point there also, Eggnog. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[TooTall]

Heeling in a small, conservative community where you live, probably not worth the flak you'd catch, and the trouble you'd cause for your friends and family. At least that was my conclusion. My first outing will be in an alternate lifestyle community in a large city, where I won't draw as much attention or run into anyone I know. Heels are all about showing confidence, and that's hard to do if you're looking over your shoulder. You could 'stealth heel' locally with a good pair of Tony Lama's. 2.5" heel and pointed toe, you've pretty much got a mid pump with a block heel there. Perception. Not all it's cracked up to be, is it? One thing my dear wife pointed out - women have developed rules for how to dress with heels, and a lot of men don't seem to be aware of them. With a woman, it's all about a balanced outfit, keyed to the time of day and the occasion, with no part of the wardrobe dressier than the other. Stilettos are considered non casual, for work or for evening, a bit pretentious for an afternoon walk. To her, men in heels seem a bit hasty to show off the heel without considering the rest of the outfit. They stick out like a sore thumb. This is not to say that us men are honor bound to follow the very subtle and complex world of women's style, but the more I listen to her and observe women in heels in public, the more I see that those rules were not drawn up arbitrarily. They make sense. It's all about presenting a complete package. Here's one rule she passed along. When wearing pants with heels, the cuff should hang at least halfway between the ankle bone and the floor, perhaps even a bit lower. That obscures much of the heel, but not all. Standard jeans with heels makes one look like Jethro Bodine, the classic highwater hillbilly. So how do you show off the heels? Sit down, cross your legs, and dangle the heel out there. A little motion of the toe, if they don't notice immediately. Women are subtle. Of course, that means that the pants have to be tailored to the heel height, so they can't be worn with all heels. And we wonder why women have such extensive wardrobes... Like I said, it's a subtle and complex subject. You know, if heels on men are ever to be accepted as style, then we have to look good in them, look natural in them. A good way to look natural is to see how women do it, they have generations of experience. You won't look natural in stilettos with highwater jeans and a T shirt - no self respecting woman would be caught dead in that outfit. Way too dressy on the bottom.

[Acadianheels]

Hey Histilettoe, Couldn't agree with you more. The trick is getting the Male heelers out there to be brave enough to face the huge ocean wave of what is socially acceptable. Other then that...what you suggest about demonstrations, work party clothing swaps...I think would be fun, but that is asking a huge group of folks to let go of what has been beaten into there heads for a few hundred years. I know that change will come. 100 years ago, homosexuality was much like the male heelers are today...they stayed very much to themselves, but now, Homosexuals, are "for the most part" accepted as a human choice. I quoted that section because of the redneck villages across the country that haven't made it out the 5th grade yet. I think that more fashion designers are trying to incorporate more androgynous looks into there fashion shows...great...that is one more bonus for all of us here. I just hope it all changes within my lifetime. =o) I vaguely remember when women were fighting to wear business suits in the workplace. I think this isn’t very much different. Once again, thanks for your reply.

[Acadianheels]

Hey Radiodave, Thanks for your responce as well. That is a great point. Exactly what I am concerned about as well. I mean if I were not tied to the youth organizations, I wouldn’t hesitate in bringing my heeling outside into the world around me. It would highly limit my social circle I would imagine. However, I have noticed that women in general are more accepting of men in high heels then men are of men in high heels. Girls, usually will think stuff like "damn those are high...I wonder where he bought them...." or "Oh...a gay guy....nothing to fear here...he won’t hit on me....I think I will talk to him" or "Hum.....a guy in high heels...different....." Girls usually don’t have the same shock value that guys have...The scale tips dramatically with men. Men instantly become territorial....even if it is just a bunch of grease monkeys in a garage (and I mean no disrespect to any mechanics on the forum, as I work on my own cars myself and have an extensive knowledge of engines and transmissions....). Guys become fearful. They start to think about the situation, and instantly become gayaphobic. Then quite a few men I am sure start to question if they would do that...and a whole bunch of emotions start to swirl inside them. Good and bad. Due to the social teaches from childhood, these guys can’t figure out how to deal with these thoughts and emotions, so they bottle it up until it hits the breaking point. With some(very few) they stay professional. With most, it turns into a bad situation. I kinda attribute it to how if a pack of wolves see another wolf that broke it’s leg, they will usually kill it. The reason being the wolf with the broken leg is now the weakest link in the chain. That wolf will hold down the pack. Now unfortunately, I think some of these very similar in stinks still exist in a lot of men. Not to the extreme of what I have mentioned here, but I think is kind of the basis for men to be not as accepting as women are. The week minded part is that it is just a piece of clothing. Nothing more. They are just shoes....or boots..... Another part of this situation is how our fathers have brought us up. I remember a situation with one of the youth groups. We had been on a camping trip. This was about 30 miles away, and we had four or five dads and a couple moms. There were about 20 some odd youth. Well there was this dad who had been being a real jerk the whole weekend. Telling some not so appropriate jokes to the adults just barely within ear shot of the youth, which I hear...and I had to speak to him about, being the "designated leader" of the trip. He did a few other minor things which told me a lot about this guy. Well the straw that broke the camels back was the last day. He and his son were packing there stuff up. Well the boy was having a hard time putting his sleeping bag in the bag to carry it. He asked for help several times and the dad basically just said...no you do it...you got it out, you put it away. Well the very young boy tried and tried....then eventually becoming so frustrated he started to cry...so the father...says.....’don’t be a pussy’. Man....did I freek.....I very quickly went to the tent....knocked...and asked in a calm and collected voice, to step out of the tent for a moment, I would like to talk to him. Well of corse he is ok....so we go over to a quite part away from the youth...and I told him, that "I am not going to tell you how to raise your children. However, if you are going to raise them by telling them not to be a pussy, please do it when there are not a half dozen other youth around your tent. (Which there had been). How do you think that makes the other youth feel about you and your leadership ability? How do you think that makes them feel about your son? Think about it. When you are ready to be an adult again you can come back and continue packing up." Needless to say, this father is no longer involved in the group. These situations are factor as is all the other mentioned above. I wish there were a couple little social boundaries of which we were to overcome to be public heelers, but that is a total pipe dream of mine. I know it is a huge amount of variables we will all have to deal with before public guy heeling will be acceptable. I think people like Dale Miller who goes buy Skirtman dot org will be the ones who help bring about change. I found his site about three years ago. Is he a part of this site? I might email him to find out...but he is a big supporter of guys clothing freedoms. I encourage you to check out his page. Take care.... Acadianheels

[Acadianheels]

Hey Eggnog.... Nice to see a lady respond. Thank you, and I love your optamism. Thanks Acadianheels

[Acadianheels]

Hey Tootall, Thank your wife for me. She gives great advice. I have at this point kinda observed some of the same things you state. My ex girlfriend as mentioned in a previous thread, knew about my heeling and was very supportive. She encouraged me to out in them but never did. She did teach me a bit about the same as you stated. I have recently bought some boot cut girl jeans to try around the house to see if I can get he look right. I also bought some guys boot cut jeans that are about four inches too long for my leg...if you see where I am going with this....but don’t seem to look as good with heels as the boot cut is much more narrow. All you ladies out there...It is an art form! One I wish to master as you all have. =o) Thanks again Tootall for your post.

[Guest]

good to hear you "admonished" that idiot insecure so-called "father" of his kid, this kind of stuff does indeed tell you a LOT about them in how THEY were raised, make no mistake about it either! it goes without saying that the cycle of this kind male violence, needs to be broked somehow before its too late. I mean for god's sake it was his CHILD, a young boy, who got frustrated, you can BET that the jerk father went thru the same exact stuff when HE was about the same age, so WHAT if the kid started to show some "emotion" by crying, 1st & formost he (like ALL of us) are HUMAN BEINGS! & forgot that, like a lot of people do. This stupid "male stereotype" kind of attitude towards behavior, is the most illogical thing in the human race (esp. in certain cultures such as ours in the USA).

[Thighboots2]

TooTall, Your wife is giving good advice there, sadly most men seem never to take this to heart. There is such a fixation on this board about wearing stiletto heels, I know as I was one of them at one time. I know it is what the wearer wants to wear, just like the ladies do whenever they want, but as your wife says, the shoe is just the finishing touch to the outfit rather than being the foundation upon which the outfit is built. Just look around you during the daytime at women going about their normal daily lives, just how many are wearing stiletto heels let alone heels, and if they are they will be almost certainly be between 2-3 inches. The higher heels are usually seen on the office girls and rarely on the shoppers. Ladies save the high heels for the evenings out. If only the guys would get over their fixation on "its stilettos or nothing" and get into the 2-3 inch cuban styles for day wear (that are available if you look hard enough), then you will make some progress. Firstly because the heels are on footwear designed and aimed at men and so the SO doesn't object to you wearing them. Mine says my YSL's in the avatar and my archie eyebrows boots make me totter like a tart, but is fine that I wear them whenever I wish, but is really anti my first pair of ankle boots I had which are from the womens racks even though she says they are not feminine at all. Secondly, because in your head you know they are mens shoes and so you don't radiate the "Look at me - I'm wearing womes shoes" to everyone around. Guys must follow the girls and save the high heels for evenings out. Citing the Adventures of Kneehighs, he considers the whole outfit, wears heels for social evenings and has adopted some of the ladies fashion trends for daytime, i.e. boots over pants but with flats as many women do for daytime. Simon.

[Acadianheels]

Hey Simon. Thanks for your post here. I agree with some of what you are saying but some of it I do not. Here is what I think. I think a lot of guys focus on the stilletoes because it is the one heel that is the "Forbidden" shoe. I know if I were to take a pair of 4 inch black chunk heeled boots threw a pair of bell bottoms on, a valor shirt with a head band on and took a stroll over town every think "OMG that dude is totally retro 70s. How cool is that. Some wouldn't think it to be so cool but I know I could get away with it fairly well. Through out history, at any one given point in time the men of the world who have worn heels, including Kings of Europe (to be higher then his subjects), the popular 70s disco era of platform shoes and the ever so interesting 80s glam metal scene with the high heeled cowboy boots, and now goth era of the youth, you have never scene a man in and promoting stilletoe wear. It was always and usually a chunk heel of some sort. Or at least a quite thick heel. So, I believe the focus on the stilletoe on men with acceptance is just that final step for fashion freedom. Now concerning what you have stated about women and there choices of when and were to wear heels...yes I agree with most of that, but around these parts...."WHAT HEELS????" lol. I think that it goes to the three Ls Location Location Location. I can see, that London would most likely have a high number of women in high heels in various shapes, sizes, and colors. Cool. Out here in the middle of New England, the women have become lazy. Big time. Very little heel wear at all. If any. I mean yeah you will get the occasional chick out at the big box stores trying to make an impression...usually once again, the outfit matching the stilletoe...but it is rare...If you want to see girls in heels at all, better head to one of our two ...yeah two mall in the state. Both being a pretty good haul for me. Not that I am complaining. You are now most likely wondering where I am going with this....well I think at this point, women have become so used to the fact that they have fashion freedom they don’t need to exercise it. 75% of the population of women in my area wear sneakers on a day to day basis. It is too bad because high heels do so much for a persons look. They don’t have to be stilletoes...just a simple pump...anything....Just try....=o) Ok, I digress... Back peddling a bit. Just to finish I think the stilletoe is the end goal for male heelers who want to go public. It is our Pandora’s Box which everyone fears the evil of...but I think once we have overcome the fact that what is contained inside that box is nothing more then free self expression that everyone will be ok with it eventually. It’s just going to take time. Wow..Mega rant on my part this morning. Lol. Take care Simon. Thanks again for your post. Acadianheels.

[Histiletto]

Let's see here. What's this about? - When some males choose to wear only stilettos they are pushing the envelope over the edge, so that getting public acceptance will be harder to come for any male high heeling? However, if males stick with the kind of footwear like the tapered heels of the cowboy boots or the recent designs of a man's boot from Yves Saint Laurent with a 2.5" block heel, male heeling will flourish and make it easier for the social consent of males wearing higher heels (not necessarily stilettos). Have you not read or even seen men's footwear fashion for the last two hundred and forty years? Men's heels have stayed with in the range presented, with few exceptions, like the disco era of the 1980's. Even this exception with the 3 to 4" high block heels and the 1 to 2" platforms stayed with in the manly designs of the day for footwear. Stilettos were never really consider to be for men's fashion, until recently when men started showing their desire by increasingly purchasing them over the internet. The demand for larger sizes also made the fashion world more aware of men's desire to wear stilettos. Some fashion designers tried to bring out the fact of the male demand to wear high heels was real, but the over-all public wasn't ready for the change just then. More public interventions and communications with male heelers (and groups) has to be in the social awareness in order to cause or make this change possible.

[Thighboots2]

Guys, I am not saying that a stiletto heel is inapproipriate for men, rather there is a time and place. Arcadian, I know you can do a 70's look, but that isnt the point, it is more about considering how you can incorporate the right heel style with current mens fashion so that you present a totally co-ordinated look, maybe borrowing appropriate looks from the ladies to assist. I am sorry the ladies in your area don't wear heels often, but then do they dress so heels would be appropriate, or are they jeans, jeans, jeans and so sneakers are more appropriate. How do the ladies dress when they go out to a nice resaurant, jeans and sneakers still? I rather think that if it is an occasion of some sort then out will come the nice dress, full slap, nails and hair done and of course heels, but going shopping doesn't really demand all that, or maybe it does, we each have our own opinion. I agree, as far as the majority of board members are concerned, that the stiletto heel is in pandoras box and we desperately want to open it, why not if you have the courage of your convictions, study the Modus Operandii of Kneehighs as to what he wears, where and when he is going, then you can do it too - right now, BUT it is a BIG CITY thing where there is a vibrant and diverse culture. Histiletto, of course I have. I am just as much a shoe tart as anyone on this board and there is probably no better resource on the net about shoes than HHP anyway. I am just a little tired of guys whineing on and on about how they want to wear stiletto heels and how society doesn't accept it. If you(members at large i.e. no one in particular) really want to wear stiletto heels because you enjoy wearing that style of heel and not because it gives you a hard on, then just do it. For those who see or notice then you will be brightening their day as well as your own. Are you a man or a mouse? If you(again members at large i.e. no one in particular) wear stiletto heels because it gives you a hard on, then you are demonstrating to yourself exactly why stiletto heels will never become mainstream for men and why society views men in stilettos as it does. Sometimes I wonder if this is High Heel Place or Heel Heel (Stilettos only) Place such is the focus on this one particular style of heel.

[johnieheel]

Guys,

Histiletto, of course I have. I am just as much a shoe tart as anyone on this board and there is probably no better resource on the net about shoes than HHP anyway. I am just a little tired of guys whineing on and on about how they want to wear stiletto heels and how society doesn't accept it.

I agree! Quit worring about what everybody thinks and get out in your heels so you, and you know who you are, can help the rest of us, who do, change the world of fashion for men in heels.

If you(members at large i.e. no one in particular) really want to wear stiletto heels because you enjoy wearing that style of heel and not because it gives you a hard on, then just do it. For those who see or notice then you will be brightening their day as well as your own. Are you a man or a mouse?

Once again, Agree!

If you(again members at large i.e. no one in particular) wear stiletto heels because it gives you a hard on, then you are demonstrating to yourself exactly why stiletto heels will never become mainstream for men and why society views men in stilettos as it does.

Consintrate on fashion, not hormons!

[Acadianheels]

Hey thanks for your post Thighighboot2 Yeah I agree...I know what you are saying. It is about incorporating today’s styles tastefully I guess...but if you folks saw me in real life, you would see I am totally stuck in another era all together...so one might first say....he needs a make over to make him look more today. So once again it goes back to general public view......I think I could tastefully wear heels out in public. I have a pair of 3 and 3/4 inch heeled cowboy boots that I have worn out to a couple of night clubs while out with my ex a few years ago and never got any flack from anyone (which by the way I was terrified when I first got there because no one told me it was bike week...lol) The chicks gave me good compliments on them so it was all good. I firmly believe a 5 inch chunk heel would be no different locally. Assuming I wore jeans which hide %75 of the heel while standing which is the current ladies trend with high heels (god knows why cause heels are beautiful and should be shown off like in the 80s). It is the stilletoe that is now a different thing altogether. Lets face it. If dude A walks into a room, wearing "Today looking" clothing with the help of a chick to make sure he looks fashionable. And dude B stands in the same room with the same outfit on. One is in chunk heels, the other in a stilletoe heel...which one has more of a chance of coming out of the room unquestioned of his sexual orientation? I think that is my big beef. I have a huge collection of heels. Stilletoed (my favs) and some chunk....Ranging from 1 inch all the way up 5.5 inch. The low heels are no brainers out in public. Easy. Been done and very natural for me. Cool. I want to wear all my shoes out in public. Even if some of the more dressier stilletoes I have are only out at a nice restaurant with my girl. Dunno...it is a frustrating time for guys fashions. Where this sociological issue gets me amused is that in nature we see females (ie birds) being of drab coloring. Very plane with some species being mistaken for others and the males being of very vibrant colors...the more coloring and more motion in there dances, mating calls, or whatever, the more likely to attract there mate. What the hell happened in humanity? =o) How did the chicks get that job? Guys today (and once again I am basing this on the Rural areas of the country and not so much the divers cities) dress in drab dark earth tones. What the hell? It is like guys have given up completely on looking good. There is a store not too far away from me that I go for milk and general supplies...and all the guys who live around here that frequent that store all look the same....cookie cutter. Shaved head, goatee(NO OFFENCE TO ANY OF YOU ON THE FORUM HERE WITH THAT LOOK!!!!!), Jeans, t-shirt.....I don’t hate people with this look, it is just so many with the same look. Very few guys who are clean shaving these days, very few that actually style there hair....Very few that comb there hair...oh what hair....I mean...it has become a cookie cutter society. Its about that popular acceptance. Sux really..... But I have gone off on way too many tangents now...Anyways thanks again for the post Thighighboots2. I hear yeah... Take care. Acadianheels

[Acadianheels]

Hey JH!

Yeah I agree with you completely but there is this other issue.....

Ok, I have seen what you look like JH. You are a SUPRISINGLY mid 50s dude (Man you totally look late 30s early 40s to me). You are built like a brick S*&T house. I mean that in a totally good way...totally tough strong looking guy. I wouldn't mess with you even if I had a gun you a set of brass nuckles....

Ok, now my point. I am not a buff dude. If I went out, (forgetting my scocial stuff for a second) in a pair of heels around here, say a night club...I bet money about 10 guys who look as buff as you do, would be giving me the "I'm going to start a fight with the fag over there" look, and most likely at least three would try to start something.

JH, I wish that all of us male heel wearers out there were all buff and could hold our own.

HUGE Props to you on personal fitness...and I think you are inspiring me to hit the gym more often.

Have you ever had situations of this nature...where you are a tough looking guy? Have you had anyone try to pick a fight?

I guess Maine is still way to ignorant to accept more of an androgynous clothing style concept for the world.

Kinda curious.

Thanks for your post JH. You rock!

Acadianheels

[johnieheel]

Hey JH!

Have you ever had situations of this nature...where you are a tough looking guy? Have you had anyone try to pick a fight? Kinda curious.

Thanks for your post JH. You rock!

Acadianheels

First of all, thank you much for the complements.

Second, as for anyone trying to pick a fight? I don't go to places like bars etc. or around people that drink abusively where a fight is most likely to happen and also, I am very modest about the way I dress. I am not one of those muscleheads that have to have that look that says "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! when in heels. Any way to answer your question, Nope.

[Thighboots2]

Arcadian, glad you do buddy. Seems to me that even if it was totally acceptable for a guy to wear stiletto or any other form of high heels whenever etc etc, that round your way and basically anywhere "rednecks" are, they will NEVER be seen as other than sissy. I also agre that nature has the men being the pretty ones and the women as plain, but for some particular reason this all changed for homo sapiens and the ladies userped our position. All this posturing and the pretty show by the men seems to me to have been directed to a more physical nature and so body shape and size became important whilst in the upper classes, the uniforms worn were very bright indeed and gentlemen were seen to strut around like peacocks. I would seem that we have moved to a more ape-like behaviour where difference is not so striking, as in birds etc., and strength and power are the attractant to the female and they display to us as helplesss by the nature of their dressing so we want to protect and fight for them. Just as well they do as to look at a lot of them side by side undressed and I think the human race woudl die out really quickly ha ha. JH, WOW seems we are of one accord. Nice. There is hope yet that the guys will see beyond the heel and try to make themselves look nice too. The ladies just LOVE a man who experiments. Most ladies prefer a peacock rather than a chest beating gorilla. All the women are so much more comfortable with gay guys because there is an empathy there. So for a straight to cherry pick the gay guys MO really is being a wolf in sheeps clothing. Its a killer combination they get the gay guy empathy with a nice surprise at the end - just read kneehigh's adventures. What a cool dude. Cheers, Simon.

[kneehighs]

Arcadianheels--have you read Shafted's thread titled, "New pair of boots starts me serious street heeling,"? Shafted lives in a small town in rural Maine and while he is no longer an active member, his stories will inspire for years to come. He has been known to wear his stiletto thighboots outside of his jeans at work parties, at movie theaters, and other public venues.