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"Not getting any easier"


sept181

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Unlike the majority here I don't seem to get more comfortable with street heeling even after several attempts. I have not had any bad reactions, the sky stayed right where it should and I didn't see fingers pointing at me from every person I passed, but each time go to venture out I have the same trepidation that I felt the first time. I don't have the opertunity to get out very often, maybe its too long between times and I have to start all over again . Did anyone else have the same problems starting out ? Will it get better? I hope so!

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If you spend all your life worrying what other people think about you, you will miss out. Just be yourself, wear what you want and the people that disagree with it aren't your friends anyway and they don't matter. If you think about it, those are mostly people who are afraid of being there selves and stay locked in a closet all there lives and the only way to escape is to be a follower and bad example to others and are WEAK!

real men wear heels

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Unlike the majority here I don't seem to get more comfortable with street heeling even after several attempts. I have not had any bad reactions, the sky stayed right where it should and I didn't see fingers pointing at me from every person I passed, but each time go to venture out I have the same trepidation that I felt the first time.

I don't have the opertunity to get out very often, maybe its too long between times and I have to start all over again .

Did anyone else have the same problems starting out ? Will it get better? I hope so!

I think I understand your feelings. I always need some 'charge'. You just know you are

doing something out of the ordinary, and if one day your skin is thick enough, you just

go, but there are days that you feel that mentally you are not charged enough and at

the last moment you just say: "why bother" and you put on something much lower.

I guess where this critical point lies differs for each person.

And it may also depend on where you go heeling. And on what reputation you want to

have in your neighborhood, with your friends etc.

Some people here will say: that is their problem. In theory they are 100% right.

But the mind is complex and in practise it can be different.

Whether it gets any better? If you want it bad enough, yes. Practise your elephant-skin.

Y.

Raise your voice. Put on some heels.

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I agree with Johnie. The very first step out can be nerve racking, but I promise once you get out there, just keep on going and it fades over time. Try your best to feel confident and not looking over your shoulder. Also, doing this I think has boosted my overall confidence in every aspect of life. I have always been kind of shy and hated getting up and making presentations in front of people. But heck, now that I have been street heeling for a year (and wearing women's jeans for a few months now), I feel like the next time I have to give a presentation or such, that it will be so much easier. Some suggestions, try less obvious heels at first (non-pointy, non-stiletto, non-5"+ heel, non-shiny, non-clacky, etc). Those are harder to find, but do exist, I own many pairs. Also, do your first several times out in a nearby town/suburb, where you are pretty sure you won't see people you know. Do this until your confidence builds up. After a while, you won't feel so afraid to do it. Don't get me wrong, even a year later, I still sometimes say, what the heck am I doing, but once I get out of the car and am in public, it all tends to go away. Just keep with it, if you really want to do it, it is well worth it.:winkiss:

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My first question would be, do you enjoy wearing high heels in public? If you do, stay with it, go different places, enjoy every minute of it, and be as positive as possible with any reaction or comments you might receive.

If it bothers you so much to wear high heels in public, don't do it. Keep wearing them around your home, if you like, and don't go out in public in them. If you still feel this way, don't wear them publicly. But if you still have a yearning to wear high heels in public, just take it nice and slowly and ease back into your public heeling.

Do what you feel is best for you. Be happy, not miserable. Good luck to you and keep us posted.

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My first question would be, do you enjoy wearing high heels in public? If you do, stay with it, go different places, enjoy every minute of it, and be as positive as possible with any reaction or comments you might receive.

If it bothers you so much to wear high heels in public, don't do it. Keep wearing them around your home, if you like, and don't go out in public in them. If you still feel this way, don't wear them publicly. But if you still have a yearning to wear high heels in public, just take it nice and slowly and ease back into your public heeling.

Do what you feel is best for you. Be happy, not miserable. Good luck to you and keep us posted.

Well said roniheels. Do what makes you happy, life is too short to try and please everyone else so please your self.

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Unlike the majority here I don't seem to get more comfortable with street heeling even after several attempts. I have not had any bad reactions, the sky stayed right where it should and I didn't see fingers pointing at me from every person I passed, but each time go to venture out I have the same trepidation that I felt the first time.

I don't have the opertunity to get out very often, maybe its too long between times and I have to start all over again .

Did anyone else have the same problems starting out ? Will it get better? I hope so!

It all depends on the person and the comfort level they develop for themselves when it comes to wearing heels in public. For some, it happens almost right away, for others, it takes time. Using myself as an example, it took a goodly amount of time before I banished the fears and worries and ultimately felt comfortable being out and about. Don't feel frustrated because it's taking longer than you thought to develop your own comfort level. Don't rush things, let it all come naturally, regardless of how long it takes. Bottom line: be patient. I'm sure things will fall into place for you in time, emphasis on "time".

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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Sept181, It does get easier, but in what style of shoe are you making your first steps? This is very important in the head game. I feel the same as you if I want to step out in say 4" stilettos, but the same height block heels and I don't even think about it. If you are streetheeling in the shoes in your avator, I can fully understand why you have this feeling, I would too as I consider them too thin for me, but were they more cuban in shape and about 1" on the bottom, then I would be out in them in a flash. Simon.

Are you confusing me with someone who gives a damn?

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While I still get the "butterflies" it always helps if you know someone who will go with you. About 2 years ago, I was seeing this lady from my job who loves wearing 3.5-4" heels (part of my attraction to her no doubt). I went and re-applied at the same job for the winter, and saw her. We talked and 2 times we've been out to Friendly's and movies. I told her before of my love for heels, and she can understand. Not only that, she begged me to wear them out with her! First time out, I had to down 3 glasses of wine first. We went to Friendly's and it was packed. The tile floor betrayed my 4" stilettos which were well hidden (only saw the pointed toe and tip of heel) and I got a few looks. She was with me wearing her 4" sandals, and encouraging me to "work it"! The movies were the same, but by then, I was more relaxed and walking confidentley! Few people noticed, but I think they noticed her more. By the time the movie ended, I was purposely walking over the tiled sections of the floor, pant legs rolled, and loving it! I doubt I'd have experienced this alone. I needed Sherry there, but found it was awsome! I'm lucky to know her, and I know we're going out soon while I wear my new 4.5" stiletto heeled pointy toed boots. My pants won't be too long, though! You know people who would support you, I promise. They make it easier!

Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!

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All good advice. Sure, I have days where I'm not feeling up to it, so it comes and goes. There are shoes I have that I'd like to wear outside, but I don't simply because a woman wearing them would attract loads of attention. So, I tend to look at what I'm about to wear outside and ask "would a woman wear these?". Mostly the negativity is in your head though. You'll get looks and double takes, but rarely does anyone give you grief about it. About the worst reaction I've ever had was the teenage girl in the mall trying to cover her smile and pretending she wasn't looking my way. So I stared right back, smiled, and she eventually lost interest.

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