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Hi! Haven't been here in ages. Been busy, and in general been pushing myself to wear heels more and more, but a lot of anxiety has gone away and have been enjoying a lot of my outings. My outings tend to be about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. Usually to a nearby caffee shop, restaurant, or mall. I try to wear heels whenever I possibly can, but family cannot know, so it takes planning. A few years ago I tried mini-skirts, and now have quite the collection of minis and (ladies)kilts, all of which I love. But it was minis only. One or the other, either a mini, or heels, not comfortable with both. Recently though, for whatever reason, I bought a maxi skirt, down to my ankles, a nice flowy-one, nothing tight. Went outside in it and just loved how the wind picked it up and fluttered it around my legs, and I didn't worry about it blowing up and showing something I didn't want shown. And it was cool, meaning in the hot weather! That outing, in a maxi flowy skirt made me realize I have been missing out and given the length, I would actually be comfortable wearing these with heels! So I did. The day in question, I ended up wearing an ankle-length maxi skirt, black, with some buttons on it. I also wore a 4" pair of leather pumps (oh so comfortable!) and a nice white t-shirt. It looked good! I loved it! So, I enter the mall, not anxious but a bit reserved as this is new territory for me. Went to a store, browsed around looking at skirts, trying on a few things. It was fun. Then I decided to go the other end of the mall, grab a coffee and do some work. As I'm walking along, I notice a loud group of teenage girls in a store, and as I walk beyond them, one yells out "Love the heels, girl!". I didn't know what to make of the "girl" part (as I have stubble on my face, and am clearly a guy). Smiled at them and kept walking, walked right into a washroom (nature called). Did my thing, and as I am starting to exit, I see the same teenage girl pop her head in (into the male washroom!), and go away giggling. Her friends were yelling at her that it's the male washroom. I didn't feel comfortable, so stalled a bit, and then exited, hearing that they went into the female washroom. Then I made my way to my destination, (on purpose) walking by some security guards, just in case. Did not feel comfortable at all, and was questioning my choices. It has never actually happened to me, and I have worn heels to these types of places now countless of times. So am somewhat at this point. I bought coffee, sat down in the food-court, pulled my laptop and went to work for an hour or so. People came and went, I'm pretty sure some people looked, intensely, but whatever. After I was done, I started to head back through the mall to my car, and popped into a store that I frequent, because I love the stuff they have (sort of gothy, a bit on the fringe of fashion). Was checking the sales, specifically hoping a skirt I have been eyeing has gone on sale (unfortunately not), when one of the sales-ladies walks up to me and starts talking: Her: "Excuse me, but every time you come into the store..." Me thinking: oh oh, what did I do to deserve scolding? Her: "the sales-people are always very curious what sort of heels you're wearing, and checking them out." Instead of talking about with the other sales-people, she told me. "You always seem to be gliding around the store in heels" I thanked her, took that as a massive compliment, especially while wearing a maxi skirt and heels for the first time. Before I could follow up, she was interrupted by another customer, and went away. I browsed around a bit more, and had to leave. So... Good and bad experience. I'll chalk up the bad experience to teenagers trying to show off to one another and sometimes behaving shamefully especially when in a group. On the other hand, seems like people do notice, and remember... Thanks for reading!

I too have been harassed by teenagers, though not for a long time. What I find it that when you engage them in a friendly way, they tend to melt pretty quickly. It's also nice to know that people actually pay attention to outfits you have gone to a great deal of trouble to create.

For years, I've been on a mission: to find a truly extreme high heel that combines height with elegance. The kind of shoe that commands attention and still adheres to most dress codes. My search for anything above 80mm that was also a closed-toe design proved surprisingly difficult, until I discovered the custom design process at ExtremeHighHeels.net. This is where "Miss Arches" was born. My vision was clear: a sky-high stiletto with an incredible arch, but without a clunky platform. Platforms, while adding height, often detract from the sleek, classic lines I was after. I wanted that dramatic, almost gravity-defying curve that only a true no-platform heel can deliver. Crafting the Dream: Design & Engineering The team at ExtremeHighHeels.net helped bring my ambitious design to life. The goal was to maximize the arch, creating that stunning visual, while also ensuring as much wearability and durability as possible for such an extreme heel. We opted for premium leather for both the upper and the sole, ensuring a luxurious feel and classic aesthetic that meets most formal dress codes. Beneath the surface, these shoes are built to last. They're constructed on a lasting board with triple reinforcement and a steel shank, providing crucial stability and support for such a daring height. In principle, this makes them incredibly durable. The "V" and the Walls: Form Meets Function One of the key design elements we incorporated was the V-shaped opening and slightly higher side walls. My thinking here was all about support. With a heel this extreme, every bit of added stability helps. The V-shape offers a sophisticated aesthetic while gently cradling the foot, and the higher side walls aim to provide a more secure fit, reducing the chance of the foot slipping laterally. It's a subtle but significant detail that I believe enhances both the look and the wearability. "Miss Arches" isn't just a shoe; it's a statement. It's the culmination of a quest for the ultimate in height and class, a design that truly makes the arch pop and the wearer stand tall.

Mlroseplant Fascinating and I believe I have an idea what initiated his question after all these years. Faced with increased age, mid 50’s I believe based on your age, and his current health issues his curiosity about your heels got the better of him and he reached out albeit without customary greetings. I believe he has always wanted to wear them and is clinging to his distant connection to you. It could’ve been been far more personal and fun to meet in person. He could’ve met you for coffee and seen you in heels and his questions would’ve been answered. His approach doomed it to failure. Honestly I’m surprised it hasn’t happened more often given how visible you’ve been in your small Des Moines suburb. Btw that outfit of red jeans, pink shirt, and red pumps looked spectacular. HinH

Sorry, but you are projecting to much here. I don't wear heels to attract attention. I do get attention simply because I wear fabulous heels and boots all the time. But I get so much hip pain relief that I will wear them for the rest of my life. I was at a conference and walked in to a breakout session. A woman sitting in the back told me I walked like a man in my heels. So after putting some materials down in a chair, I walked back to where the two women were sitting and ask "Do you want me to walk this way?" and I walked back to my seat while over rotating my hips. "Damn" was their only comment.

Hello everyone, Here's the 3rd reason to wear high heels : a way of attracting attention Arching your feet makes you sway your buttocks back and your chest forward, all seductive arguments in your favor. The perceived length of your legs increases, helping you to stride through the world. Good men have always wanted to protect women. When they're balancing on 12cm of finesse, the risk of falling is not far away. This vulnerability is terribly attractive to protective men. Seduction isn't just about love, it's everywhere: at a job interview, when choosing a film at the cinema, when making a choice with friends, etc. So put more chances on your side by wearing pumps. Attracting someone to you means doing it discreetly but surely. Set your sights on success by choosing your pumps carefully and walking with the perfect gait. "High heels are the ultimate woman's accessory. They always have been. They're a highly evocative symbol of femininity, and they sweep most men off their feet. " - Dita Von Teese "To feel like a woman, wear heels, to feel like a goddess, wear 12 cm. " - Christian Louboutin

I wouldn't mind that either, but I'm trying to figure out how that might happen, given the current state of things. Just glancing at the last few subjects in the "Guys" and "Everybody" topics, what are the main subjects? "I am afraid to wear heels in public," "I gained the courage to wear heels in public," "I gained more courage to wear these outrageous heels in public," "I actually got compliments on my shoes and outfit by the general public." There is definitely some amount of material that women might be interested in, but it seems that largely we just talk about being accepted, and there is nothing wrong with that. How can we make ourselves more attractive to women? HA! Story of my life.

Something I'd really like to change if possible...

Hello! I wonder myself why those kind of shoes either exactly the same style on the picture are discontinued and no longer available. Fashion had changed so much but 25 years ago so many girls were wearing that. It was very cute on them!

I haven't seen shoes like that in years. I didn't find them particularly attractive in the 1990s, but I was rather impressed that girls wore them literally everywhere. Even to work in the grocery store, or for an entire shift as a waitress. Of course now, it doesn't seem nearly that impressive, but at the time. . .

Who won?

Sorry, I saw them recently on line but don't remember where. Sometimes you have act fast before they are gone, and sometimes you need to buy more than one.

Bringing heels in a bag to put them on for a photo shot is not really wearing heels. I stay around 4 inch. I put them on at 6:45 am and go to work, and only take them off when I get home -anywhere from 3:30 to 7:30 pm. I might take a stiletto off to drive, but that's because they tend to wear a hole in the car mat

Yeah, that's the thing, we're not pretenders here. When we wear heels, we actually wear heels. I cannot and will not claim to wear 12 cm "all the time," because that would be a lie. However, I do feel comfortable in 10 cm (4 inch) pretty much indefinitely. I haven't had the opportunity for a heeling marathon for quite a while, but I'm pretty confident in that assertion.

They are still wearing this type of heels. And so am I.

I like wearing skorts with my heels especially in the summer time.I like the short versions of the skorts that show off my legs and I've had compliments over the years from mostly women but an occasional one, from a guy. I don't like maxi or midi skirts. Just my opinion. Happy Heeling, bluejay

I would suspect the latter. See and be seen, and change into something manageable

Sounds like an interesting outing to say the least. I was never interested in skirts in the least, but a woman I know who’s into heels, and knows I like them too, convinced me to give one a try, suggesting I go for a pencil skirt - her own particular favourite. I really don’t care for mini skirts so that was never going to be an option, but I have always liked the look of longer skirts. I bought a midi pencil skirt and loved it. I was really surprised at how natural and comfortable it felt. i wore it while doing some landscape photography very early one morning a few weeks ago and encountered a woman photographer. She came up and started chatting, very naturally, and never mention the skirt or gave any sort of double take. We chatted for about twenty minutes about photography and the light - it was a great morning to be out there - and she went on her way. Completely natural encounter. There’s no way she couldn’t have noticed I was wearing a skirt. She was clearly open minded about such things, while I felt comfortable wearing the midi skirt and knew - or felt - I didn’t look bad in it.

I know what you mean. I always find it somewhat amusing, yet vaguely disturbing, when I read articles denouncing heels, or where some intrepid male journalist has spent a day in heels and is writing an expose, and where women - who don’t seem to wear heels themselves - offer up such quotes as “now you see what we put up with for you”. But none of the women I know who wear actually wear and love heels wear them to impress or attract men - far from it. They wear them for the aesthetics and their own emotional satisfaction. Same as I would, and do. And yes, 12cm stilettos are indeed elegant but very, very few people can master the art of walking elegantly in them. I’ve yet to see any of that height being worn out and about. Four inches or 10cm seems to be the practical maximum.

Let me get this straight: Heels "help you stride through the world," but at the same time "the risk of falling is not far away." And 12 cm? Never actually seen them in real life (I mean, besides me). Even on social media, there are precious few who can actually walk well in them. Many try, few succeed. At the moment, I include myself in the many. I hate to beat up on the new guy, but I going to--most of the above post, while admittedly rather charming, is nonsense. In my personal experience, there are very few women who wear (or used to wear) heels as a way to attract attention. Not zero, but approaching zero. I personally wear them because I like them, nothing more, nothing less. I can remember a conversation I had with a young college boy, who was with his girlfriend at the time. The kid stopped me on the street and earnestly asked about my footwear. He wasn't being mean, I believe he was genuinely curious. At one point he asked me, "Do you wear heels to get attention?" I replied, perhaps somewhat rudely, "No. Actually, I rather wish people would leave me the hell alone." Even then, he didn't get the hint. I have no idea what the girl was thinking, she didn't say a word the whole time. If I wanted attention, I don't think I'd want it from a socially awkward kid.

But at least the colours are nicer. It’s not so bad with running shorts and tops - those they make in larger sizes

Some time ago in another thread, the presumedly long discussed and possibly resolved issue of what constitutes a stiletto heel surfaced for yet another round of unnecessary debate and comment. I posted that although I love stilettos, I could not imagine that I would ever wear a pair of such heels out and about, let alone to work/the office. I believe that I had legitimate concerns regarding how appropriate they may be for a professional environment and the possibility of breaking a heel while simply walking from place "a" to place "b." Well, much to my surprise, all of that changed today as I wore a pair of 12cm stiletto ankle boots to the office for the first time. June 19th is a holiday here in the states and I expected that just about "everyone" would take off on the 20th for an extended weekend. Given that I still do not have a substantial amount accumulated time to take away from my job beyond holidays and weekends, taking a day off now would have a direct impact on travel plans for the remainder of the year. Thus, I decided not to do so and head in to the office for the day despite how much I just wanted to stay in bed this morning. As I recognized that very few other people were probably going to head to the building, I started to warm to the idea of wearing a pair of very high stiletto ankle boots to the office for the day. I saw this as a "test" to see how I enjoyed it and determine if there were going to be any "problems" if I did so. I decided to wear a pair of very long trousers as to cover almost all of the heel and a simple top for the day (and yet, is was still houte couture). In sum, the experience of wearing such heels was incredible. As 12cm is the very limit of what I can reasonably handle, it took me some time to get the mechanics of it down so that my cadence was smooth. I had to remember to stand up straight, bend the knees a bit, and walk at a much slower pace so as to take longer strides. Although, I more or less "had it down" by day's end, I think it I still need a bit of polishing/practice. An errand followed the end of the work day on the way home and once I got into my place, my knees were feeling it but everywhere else was fine. Needless to say, I immediately started planning the next time when I will be wearing a pair of similar heels to the office. In all the experience was utterly intoxicating! So yes @mlroseplant you were correct in your prediction that I would eventually be wearing stilettos to the office! A note on the photo - at lunch, I felt the need to get out of the office as reviewing dozens of pages of intricate financial documents can only be fun for so long. I walked over to the small park across the street and sat on a bench for a few minutes to clear my mind. The mere fact that I was out in a place were the world could see me wearing my stilettos is that to which I can find not adequate words to properly describe. For some reason, I continue to have issues of posting photo to the original post....

I have definitely eased up on my shoes over the years as far as the wear. I don't necessarily break fewer shoes than I did before, but the heel tips do not wear out nearly as fast as they used to. It's not that I walk timidly, I just walk more gently, as you suggest. Specifically, I don't do a hard heel strike anymore, and a lot of that has to do with ankle flexibility that I've developed over the last decade. Nevertheless, I basically have only one pair of stilettos that I wear for occasional walking, and I have posted a picture here. They actually measure 120 mm high, but are the most walkable shoes I have at that height. I use them as practice shoes to help me walk better in my higher shoes. I also wore them to church last week in deference to Pride Month. Unfortunately, the sanctuary was decorated weirdly for vacation bible school, and nobody could see my feet. Anyhow, I got 9 miles out of the stock heel tips, and over 16 out of the replacements. I'm on 30 miles total for those shoes. To put that in perspective, that's twice the mileage I used to get out of stiletto heel tips, and I don't think the quality of the product has changed significantly in the last 10 years. My non-stiletto heel caps have experienced the same relative increase in service life. I like the self checkout at the grocery store (because I can bag my groceries my way in my own cloth bags), but I hate self checkout anyplace else. Actually, if they'd do like they do in most of Minnesota, and have a regular checkout but self-bag, I'd prefer that. On edit: It occurred to me that in small file size, it may not be obvious that my mules, though predominately black, are rainbow colored.

Had to convert the 12cm to inches so I could get a better understanding of the heel height. Somewhere around 4.75". Usually, my limit is right around 4" for reasonable comfort and good walking ability in my stiletto boots. Sure, I can "walk" in higher heels, but not very well, or for very long, without discomfort. So much depends on the design/engineering of the heel/boot/sole. I am so thrilled to have found some nine west stiletto ankle boots with heels somewhere between the 4.75-5" range that are relatively comfortable. More importantly, I can walk in them fairly confidently with minimal discomfort. Your boots look great, and I surely understand how great it feels to be able to wear/walk confidently in them! Wearing them to work on a day when you would be alone in the office was a smart plan indeed. I find that much of my "timidness" in my various stiletto booties/boots is caused by being concerned about wrecking the heels prematurely while out and about. I have spoiled a few heels on my favorite pairs which was very upsetting. So, I think I tend to "walk gently" in my boots, without even thinking about it, in an attempt to avoid ruining them. I'm thinking this works against progress in the long run though. On a positive note, was wearing my 3.5" block heeled ankle boots in Home Depot yesterday, these boots are great for everyday chores, shopping, etc. Super easy to walk in, without the worry of damaging stiletto heels. Was trying to navigate the damn self check out, god forbid you try to pay with cash! A very nice younger attendant came by to help then complimented my boots. I spent a minute or so chatting with him and thanking him for taking the time to compliment me.

Cali and I agree very strongly that there isn't a reason to wear heels that don't feel good. Having said that, I have two different types of shoes in my collection these days. I have my walking shoes, and I have my church shoes. The walking shoes basically have no time limit. The church shoes, depending on several factors, might only be good for several hours, especially the 12 cm variety. But none of them actually hurt my feet.

Thanks for the shout-out! I also find that height to be challenging, so your story and experience has inspired me to get my act together, so to speak. In a perfect world, I would wear 12 cm stilettos everywhere, but as we are well aware, it is not a perfect world.