Arctic Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Different people live different lives. If you want (or even need) your partner to acknowledge and accept the "total you", then keep looking for your needle in the haystack. (I'm extremely happy I've found mine!) If shoes or any other aspect of yourself is just an item on a priority list, you're bound to make different choices. I think that is a wise comment. Although I am not totally sure what part it was you totally disagreed about? What's all the fuss about?
Arctic Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Arctic, there are conflicts in every relationship. No matter how much compromise is made, one partner always emerges as the dominant force and sets the boundaries in which the relationship functions. What's all the fuss about?
Bubba136 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Artic wrote: snip So, when I come home, and I see two perfectly healthy and happy little kids building a tower from wooden blocks together with their mother who happens to be smart and attractive, I indeed tend to think that the shoes really don't matter all that much. Well, when you put it that way!!!!! Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Skirted-UK Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I don't think that you will be lucky enough to find a woman that likes you wearing heels, the word tolerate comes to mind. Most women don't like wearing skirts and heels these days, they seem to see it as a sign of weakness, even women who do like wearing heels tend to feel out of place in a sea of jeans and trainers. Women like to look all the same these days. High heels and skirts are for special occassions these days, and they certainly don't want the men in their lives wearing them! "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave ! " The Eagles, "Hotel California"
Dawn HH Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 Kneehighs:-) Heres hoping that you find your soul mate when the time comes as I did. Then it will be time to settle down. I did like you as I was single till I was 33 years old, and then Mickey came along. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
Majo Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 If I were to leave my wife and get into a new relationship I would, for sure, ask for high heel acceptance for me at least. I am the way I am. I, certainly, wouldn't change that because maybe one can "cope" with this fact for some time but not forever. I think it would be a mistake to get into a relationship where I can't be as free as I wish.
Tech Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 If I were to leave my wife and get into a new relationship I would, for sure, ask for high heel acceptance for me at least. I am the way I am. I, certainly, wouldn't change that because maybe one can "cope" with this fact for some time but not forever. I think it would be a mistake to get into a relationship where I can't be as free as I wish. I think thats where your going wrong in having to "Ask for acceptance" at all. If you turned up for a date in heels, dressed real nice, and charmed the pants off your date, you wouldnt need to ask for anything. The very fact that your turning it into something you need to ask permission for, then turns it into something you shouldnt be doing, thus it must be something that your not even sure about.... Or... If your having to ask for acceptance from your date, it really would set a very low opinion of you, in that clearly you dont think very much of yourself and have zero confidence... Read Kneehighs adventures, thats a perfect example... Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!
Majo Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 Maybe I didn't express myself well, Tech. Maybe my phrase sounded a bit light. I -myself- wouldn't ask for it, I would put things up-front from the beginning; as I did 22 years ago before I got married.
Tech Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 I'm lost now... I -myself- wouldn't ask for it, I would put things up-front from the beginning; as I did 22 years ago before I got married. I would, for sure, ask for high heel acceptance for me at least lol Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!
Majo Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 I think I have an issue with the language, Tech. Sometimes words loose too much in translation because there are not exact matches but close matches, as in relationships, . As you might tell, English is not my home language I would ask, expect, (¿pretend?) from the relationship; not from the other person. Any way it's a hypothetical situation. Relationship is always between to beings; asking the other -SO or relative or whatever- is, in my opinion, putting things outside our selves and letting the other take responsibility for what we want. Asking the relationship is putting things in the part of a link which we -me and the other- can make enhance and together make it grow. On the other hand, I haven't realized that this is a very old thread. Sorry.
Maximilian Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Think this situation... And finelly you find this girl, she is perfect...well, almost..she just dont like high heels. Not for herself, and absolutly not on you. Then she is far from perfect and has a few big flaws: 1) She's intolerant towards other people. 2) She lacks self confidence because she's afraid of how her partners footwear would reflect upon her. 3) She's controlling. She might not like heels but what gives her the right to decide what her partner can or cannot wear? How can she even remotely be close to perfect if she doesn't want to be with someone because of the shoes he's wearing? Shoes?!?! It's very shallow of her and while most of us are shallow in one way or another, that's the reason none of us are perfect, or even close to it.
wood&metal Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 2) She lacks self confidence because she's afraid of how her partners footwear would reflect upon her.. In my opinion, this is the #1 reason... Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
johnieheel Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Pretty simple actually. She either excepts me for who I am heels and all and has a passion for heels also , along with other things in common, or not at all. I will NOT settle again! real men wear heels
Amanda Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 HHF, I can understand her feelings. However this woman is rejecting something which is a pat of you. Possibly a fundamental part, definitely a passion. This would be partner is asking that you quash a part of yourself in order to please her. Well, if I found the perfect partner and he started to call the shots on my passions, he would find himself calling them from outside the front door. If she truly is perfect then be reasonable and give her a chance to get used to the idea Think this situation... You are singel, been singel for a looong time. Your last girlfriend kicked you out becouse of your "need" of high heels. And finelly you find this girl, she is perfect...well, almost..she just dont like high heels. Not for herself, and absolutly not on you. Would you kick her out and continue looking for another partner that understand your needs better? Even thow she may not be that perfect as this one?
loswabs Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Think this situation... You are singel, been singel for a looong time. Your last girlfriend kicked you out becouse of your "need" of high heels. And finelly you find this girl, she is perfect...well, almost..she just dont like high heels. Not for herself, and absolutly not on you. Would you kick her out and continue looking for another partner that understand your needs better? Even thow she may not be that perfect as this one? If you don't want to compromise, then look elsewhere. The only thing I'd questions is, at what point did she say she is perfect? It's my opinion, no more, no less
Amanda Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 like myself, she probably realized it in childhood. If you don't want to compromise, then look elsewhere. The only thing I'd questions is, at what point did she say she is perfect?
blender Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Pretty simple actually. She either excepts me for who I am heels and all and has a passion for heels also , along with other things in common, or not at all. I will NOT settle again! i agree johnieheel. for me if i was thrown out then the next partner that i meet would accept me for being me from the start because i would embrace the freedom to be who i am and start to wear them out from the word go, for to long i have suppressed my need to wear heels, so i would wear them out all the time (maybe). my next partner would be perfect for that reason
Bubba136 Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 In my opinion, this is the #1 reason... I agree with wood&metal. This is, also my opinion, the number one reason that a woman isn't supportive of her man wearing high heels....at least in public. (The eons old "survival of the species" trick. The female chooses the strongest candidate to propagate the species. And, image projected to other females is that "my mate is more "male" than your mate -- and any characteristic that lessen this simulacrum, projects poor judgment and weakness on her part (i.e.: God woman, is that the best that you can do?) I also agree with Johnieheel. The desire to wear high heels isn't the type of "personality" disorder that can be "physicked" out of a person's mind. It will never go away. The desire is so ingrained into a person's mental make-up and personality that they actually becomes ill if they don't periodically wear their heels or dress in a manor that satisfies this craving. As has been posted here many times before -- and is something that we all can relate to because we've "been there, done that" many times. Any man that says they can "stop" wearing their heels any time they choose to stop is fooling himself. They might be able to suppress the desire for up to a year or more, but eventually they will began wearing heels again. And when their mate -- the one to which they promised to stop and never wear heels again -- finds out, then the "s*&t hits the fan and the threats began all over again....particularly anguishing -- especially if their are children involved. Choices, choices, choices.....There isn't another person on the face of this earth that knows you better than you do.....so you have to live with the one's you make -- and suffer the consequences of your decisions. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Amanda Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Bubba, you have hit the nail very squarely on the head. I agree with wood&metal. This is, also my opinion, the number one reason that a woman isn't supportive of her man wearing high heels....at least in public. (The eons old "survival of the species" trick. The female chooses the strongest candidate to propagate the species. And, image projected to other females is that "my mate is more "male" than your mate -- and any characteristic that lessen this simulacrum, projects poor judgment and weakness on her part (i.e.: God woman, is that the best that you can do?)
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