wolf Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 We think it is right that a male can wear heels. Would you gift your son a pair of high-heeled shoes , suggestin' him to wear them out?
NewfieGuyInHeels Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well I don't have a son, but if my opinion is still welcomed? I'd say that I would wait untill he came to me about it first. Just to thrust heels onto a child would probably turn them against it. Seeing as like 95% of children naturaly rebel against whatever their parents force onto them. http://s77.photobucket.com/albums/j78/darthraze/
Stilettoscot Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 My son is 10, and (though he knows) I would never suggest it to him or even talk to him about it unless he instigated the conversation. But, until he showed sincere interest on his own (and until he got older, probably out of school), I wouldn't really share it with him. It's up to him to make his own choices in life. If he was anything like me, he'd know he had the "gene" for a while now... Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
t-strap lover Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Just because I wear heels doesn't mean I would want my Son to wear them if thats not his desire, The answer is no. t-straps are my favorite style.
roniheels Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well I don't have a son, but if my opinion is still welcomed? I'd say that I would wait untill he came to me about it first. Just to thrust heels onto a child would probably turn them against it. Seeing as like 95% of children naturaly rebel against whatever their parents force onto them. I would have to agree with this piece of advice. With two grown sons who do not wear high heels or shown no interest or desire, part of that might be the rebeling against me and my preferences. If they had come to me about the interest of wearing high heels, I definitely would have talked to them and presented the pros and cons of this desire.
johnieheel Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 All my grand sons and step grandsons and wifes grand son, who has tried to take a couple pair home lol, know I wear heels and also have learned that there is absolutely nothing wrong with grandpa (me) for wearing heels and get me little gifts at Christmas, bd's etc of little heels and stuff and have learned that it's ok to just be yourself no matter if you want to wear earrings, die your hair green or whatever. So I guess my answer would be YES if they were interested, but as Roniheels said, I would let them know the pros and cons of the whole deal. real men wear heels
heelma Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I say "no", and the reason is that most men don't have the desire to wear heels, so I would want him to ask me about it first. Also, thinking of all the hassle and worries men who (want to) wear heels have to go through, I don't think it's the right thing to "teach" him something like that, unless he has his own desire. I think what's more important is to find out if there is such a desire on his end: most men (and I bet, teenagers even more) don't talk about it, are afraid of showing or even "admitting", so I would guess he would usually try to hide his desire from everyone, including his dad. So, once he comes forward (or you have the impression that he wants to do it), then talk supportive and openly about it.
ShockQueen Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I mirror the sentiments of others before. If he comes to you about it, then be supportive - otherwise let him make his own fashion choices. Don't pressure him into it. SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge!
hhboots Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Agree with just about all comments so far. I have a young son, but I keep my hobby mostly hidden from him, though he probably knows. I street heel, but usually not around him. When I do, it is in fairly androgynous looking shoes. If he showed an interest in it, I would initially give him just a little bit of resistance to it, making sure he knows the issues society have with it. He can pursue it how he wants to beyond that. I would not gift him shoes or push them on him though if he did not initiate the idea.
Dawn HH Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Mickey and I don't have any children, but if we did, I'm sure there would be several family meetings on the subject of wearing heels and all of the in's and out's connected with the activity and there would have to be quite a bit of concern displayed on the part of the child that they most certainly would want to do this and why. Cheers--- DawN HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
Bubba136 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Listen to all of this! Here we are trying to convince society to be more accepting of men wearing high heels and we're continuing to speak the "party line" to our own children. How's that for a conundrum ? It's only natural to want to save those you love from heartache and ridicule and harm. However, if you aren't prepared to answer your children's questions about lifestyles and unorthodox behavior, then keep those habits and practices, the ones that are considered to be abnormal by today's society, secret. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Histiletto Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 We think it is right that a male can wear heels. Would you gift your son a pair of high-heeled shoes, suggestin' him to wear them out? On the one hand, I must say that this would be a welcomed event, if our son(s) had prepared for this moment. On the other, it could be a ticket to unwarranted prejudices and finding out what kind of metal our son(s) are made of. Especially, when they deal with the present social attitudes toward male heeling among the immature and the narrow minded. One of the many common themes used by alot of heelers is that they got their first taste for heeling when they were young children with mom's or sis's heels. If they continue to display their desire to wear heels, my wife and I would counsel with them. Then at the proper stages of their development, we would get the appropriate heel height for their age and activities. This exercise would be for our daugthers, as well as our sons, should they be so inclined to wear heels. Wearing heels is not for everyone. Even some women, who now have the public "okley dokley" to wear heels, do it only once in a while or refuse to wear them at all. So, unless a child has shown the desire to heel, be they girl or boy, the matter should be approached as they seem to have the issue or as a response to their questions about your heeling.
Danielinheels Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Not until I see my (yet to be born) son try to clop around in my (or his mom's) heels beyond the early toddler years. Usually by that point, if they're doing it, they (still) want to do it. I know that my desire to wear heels didn't stop when I outgrew my aunt's shoes. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
wolf Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 maybe my real question would be: Usually sons look at their fathers as a model. If a child/boy see his father day after day wearing heels, at home and maybe outside, probably he grows thinking that men CAN wear heels. So, your wearing heels it's conditioning for your sons' choices. Aren't you afraid of conditioning your sons in a way that most of people today don't approve?
Stilettoscot Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I, personally, don't wear heels near my son. I know he knows, but I don't talk about it to him. It's up to him to "know"...and until he brings it to me, it feels like a topic better not discussed (especially with the ex wife nearby..). Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
Danielinheels Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 maybe my real question would be: [snip] Aren't you afraid of conditioning your sons in a way that most of people today don't approve? No. I don't have children yet, but the last thing I would want is for my children to be afraid of being themselves. Whether that means my son likes heels or my daughter is a sneaker-head, or however else you want to categorise them, I'm sure they'll be better off if I provide the parental duties and let them make their own informed decisions that will shape their lives. Chances are, my kids will do something that many people don't approve of. As long as it's not deleterious to themselves or the people around them, I honestly don't have any hangups about those kinds of decisions. So if my male child(ren) develop a liking for heels, and my female child(ren) have their liking for heels further enhanced because their dad wears them too, who am I to complain? Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
Dawn HH Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Well put, Daniel. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
DamnNation Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 No...i would not help him out, if i indeed had a son, i would be very reluctant to do anything about it and wanted him to be very very sure before i would give advices and guiding him along. I would feel very weird about it if he confronted me about learning to walk in high heels :S...
high_55 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 my son is two years old, i'm planning myself on letting him know about my fancy for heels, when i think he's ready to understand that it's the kind of thing that not everyone is ready to accept, i hope he understands me, and i know i won't give him a pair of heels unless he asks for it, mainly because i will try to teach him that as human beings we all are very different, so we should be tolerant, and that only you and yourself may and should decide wether you want to try them on or not, because we all have different reasons for the which we are attached to wearing heels, and so will the future generations, they have to find the answers by themselves, even though i will of course explain him my very personal reason and feeling about wearring them. hope it's not very confusing
Stilettoscot Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Not at all, 55. Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
raymond.nl Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 my son is two years old, i'm planning myself on letting him know about my fancy for heels, when i think he's ready to understand that it's the kind of thing that not everyone is ready to accept ... hope it's not very confusing My 3 and 5 y/o daughters don't seem to care the least bit. I never told 'em, although it didn't take them long to notice my heels. "Are you wearing heels too?" the youngest asked? (She likes to dress up as a princess and has little plastic mules with a heel to go with it, my Cinderella!) "Yes, do you like them?" "Yes." And that was it. I regularly wear women's boots with 3"/7cm heels even when bringing my girls to (pre-)school. I wouldn't worry to much. (But then again Mexico may be different...)
high_55 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 do your girls go to school already? my issue is not that my daughter and son won't understand and maybe even don't care about it, the thing is that at school when the teacher says we will learn about clothes and garments and bring up lets say a pair of heels, childres mostly simply tell tha truth, soy your kid could come up with the famous my father also wears heels, not that there's anything wrong with it, couse i do, and if someone came to me and asked straight ahead if i wear them i would say yes i do, but your daughters classmates may say at home to their parents john doe says his father wears heels, and then all of a sudden your kid won't be invited to other kids houses, or if he wants a friend to como and sleep over they won't let them, that sort of things are the ones i'm talking about
raymond.nl Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 and then all of a sudden your kid won't be invited to other kids houses Hey, that's a good thing! I don't want my children near such close-minded parents anyhow! Perhaps it's easier because my daughters typically invite girls to sleep over. A high-heel-wearing dad may be less of a danger to girls. Note to self: be more thankful for living in an open-minded society...
high_55 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 on one hand yes it's easier to think that your wearing heels will affect less to the girls, and you right too on the fact that we still live in a country a little bit more narrow minded. unluckily for me.
aussieheels1 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 man... it's a difficult subject/choice isn't it.... it's hard to judge the other parents for being narrow minded... doing so is like them judging us as doing wrong thing.... i mean, if you kids are hanging out with kids whose parents are in to something you don't approve of (maybe smoking weed, or is a porn distributor... i'm not comparing those to us wearing heels but looking for something which we may not be comfortable with)..... you may choose not to allow your kids over their place too even though they may separate that from their kids and could well be completely normal and upstanding people but their life choice is different to ours.... even though people are narrow minded... i think i am narrow minded too.... if the shoe is on the other foot.... if my son came home and told me his friends dad love to wear HH or cross dress and wear it all the time at home... what would i say..... i hope i would say that's their decision and as long as they are not interfering with anyone else, there should be no issue about it.... but would i want my son over there all the time to play ... i'm not sure..... this may stem from me being unsure of my own position on the matter... but as i said, it's a hard choice.....
high_55 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 i guess if you learned that your kid friend's father wears hheels all the time, or crossdresses, at least you have the advantage that you may try to approach and get to know him better, so you may understand what's his drive, contrary to the drug or porn dealers, partly because i believe we're trying to gain respect for us, and we wouldn't want to impose our taste to others, such as we don't want others to impose it upon us, yet the drug or porn dealer live from involving new people to their world, so i do understand your perpective, though we are good people, we work, pay taxes, and most importantly respect others.
aussieheels1 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 please don't misunderstand me in thinking i'm linking the love of heels to porn or drugs.... was just trying to think of things which may not be socially acceptable for us but may well be for someone else and can't really think of anything strong enough to compare with..... i suppose... i really don't care too much if my mate smoke pot but i probably prefer my son not to be hanging round them... does that make me narrow minded like those who may be fine with us wearing heels but prefer their kids not to play with ours? not sure...
high_55 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 not at all, i think i really got the picture, it's just that when you said that you don't really know how you would react in case your son told you his best friend's father wares heels or crossdresses al the time, i simply suggested as a thought, that as it is something familiar to us, it's easier to walk to him and get to know him better, than it would be with the others (drug, porn, etc)
aussieheels1 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 that's true... and i probably would be secretly wanting to find out more etc but then would i be completely open about doing so say at the school where my son's other friends might see me with him..... i often think i'm a hypocrit and really narrow minded for trying to maintain social norm for myself and the family.....
high_55 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 i don't think you're a hypocrite, i guess most of us have to play different role models, when i decided to start my own business, one of my very best friends and now business associate was and still is gay, my mother giving her motherly advice questioned me on how would i react if other people by seeing me with him would immediately asume as gay, and my answer to her was, that i had given a thought to it, and believed that if someone turned away from because he thought i was gay, then it was no worth meeting, because if someone doesn't open up to really try and learn about you before judging, then why should you care about what he or she think about you, getting to the point what if this hypothetic father is cool and fun to hang around with, maybe it's worth giving a shot and forget about all those people who really don't care for you.
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