Gender related heel issues

[Amanda]

After having read some of the threads in here it's obvious to me that there are some gender related issues regarding wearing heels. I have to say that I never saw a guy wearing heels myself before but I'm not one to be narrowminded. I don't see why guys shouldn't wear heels if they want to. Sure it doesn't send out a very masculine signal but then guys are not 100% masculine anyway. There's only one way to get it publicaly accepted and I'm sure your aware of that. I do sense a bit of friction-jealousy-sexism here. I read one post which suggested that it was women barring the way to social acceptance of male heel wearing. There may be something in that but not in my case. I also notice that only 10.9 percent of members here are women. Is that because you've offended them in some way or is it just that they don't fit here?. A xx

[lorriette]

Amanda, if I may comment on your last part, women in heels is regarded as the norm. While you may chat with friends on the latest styles, I would have thought the need to join a community, such as this, less important. This is illustrated in the type of posts found in the ladies only section. The guys NEED the re-assurance of the group. I'm sure the majority of guys here would like even more women to post and comment, but sensitivity levels see some comments as negative, and that could give the ladies a feeling of not being welcome. I think most of us would say -please stay, you're most welcome.

[sendra45]

I also notice that only 10.9 percent of members here are women.

Is that because you've offended them in some way or is it just that they don't fit here?.

A xx

Its more a case that females on the whole don't like guys in heels, we have tried to enter female fashion forums in the past to gauge reactions and some of the comments were not very nice.

There are some female members that have been here for a long time though, a better class of woman than those with blinkers on in my opinion.

It is worth while remembering that not all guys wear heels, a lot of the members and guests here will be admirers, hence a higher ratio of males here.

again, welcome along.

Nigel.

[Reg Press]

I wear Heels and love to see ladies in them as well. Must admit though they look better on ladies

[Amanda]

I would have thought the need to join a community, such as this, less important. This is illustrated in the type of posts found in the ladies only section. The guys NEED the re-assurance of the group.

I'm sure the majority of guys here would like even more women to post and comment, but sensitivity levels see some comments as negative, and that could give the ladies a feeling of not being welcome.

I think most of us would say -please stay, you're most welcome.

Hi Loriette,

I only arrived here because it's called the high heel place and I have a fetish for heels. I had no real idea what went on here before joining.

If it's mainly a group of guys needing re-assurance in their heel interests

then all I can do is discuss and offer advice on wearing heels and bring with me some acceptance and understanding.

How do I find the ladies only section by the way?.

[sendra45]

How do I find the ladies only section by the way?.

http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/girls/

[johnieheel]

After having read some of the threads in here it's obvious to me that there are some gender related issues regarding wearing heels.

I have to say that I never saw a guy wearing heels myself before but I'm not one to be narrowminded. I don't see why guys shouldn't wear heels if they want to.

Sure it doesn't send out a very masculine signal but then guys are not 100% masculine anyway.

There's only one way to get it publicaly accepted and I'm sure your aware of that.

I do sense a bit of friction-jealousy-sexism here.

I read one post which suggested that it was women barring the way to social acceptance of male heel wearing. There may be something in that but not in my case.

I also notice that only 10.9 percent of members here are women.

Is that because you've offended them in some way or is it just that they don't fit here?.

A xx

I believe that most of the men here, if not all, would love to kick the word "gender" into outer space.

We are a very open minded group and would love to see more women with open minds like yourself come here to share there experiences and just to talk heels as normal women to men, men to men, women to women. In my opinion there is nothing sexist about it. Sure, we would like acceptance from the whole world but we know that will never happen so we take what ever we get and that in itself is a boost of confidence to help us just to be who we are and enjoy what we love. HEELS.

I, myself are enjoying your participation here very much.

[Firefox]

There are more men than women who don't like the male heel wearing issue. Women are generally quite acceptive, but some men see it as the break down of perceived male dominence in society. They view gays or tv's in the same way. Thus they feel the need to shout out "poof or queer" because they see it as a threat to their own sexuality. Part of this is the perceived reinforcement of their own position among a pack of males and among males in society in general. Women generally don't feel the need to discuss shoes in any great depth. They just get on with wearing them for the most part. We haven't done anything to discourage women here, indeed we have encouraged them. But the deeper aspects of shoes are not something that interest most women. If you were to go onto a site about high perfomance cars I'd be prepared to bet there would also be 90% blokes and 10% women. Also you'll find some of the women here are TV's or TG's pretending to be women. You'll find the range of subjects discussed compleletely across the spectrum as well as the ususal fashion issues. Certain strange topics crop up over and over again. Damaging floors, getting stuck in mud, starting or driving cars wearing heels, heels in the snow etc etc. They're topics you'll rarely find in fashion blogs populated by genuine females. Don't worry though, there are plenty of genuine females here, and the pretend ones are just as friendly. It's all part of life's rich tapestry.

[Amanda]

There are more men than women who don't like the male heel wearing issue. Women are generally quite acceptive, but some men see it as the break down of perceived male dominence in society. They view gays or tv's in the same way. Thus they feel the need to shout out "poof or queer" because they see it as a threat to their own sexuality. Part of this is the perceived reinforcement of their own position among a pack of males and among males in society in general.

Women generally don't feel the need to discuss shoes in any great depth. They just get on with wearing them for the most part. We haven't done anything to discourage women here, indeed we have encouraged them. But the deeper aspects of shoes are not something that interest most women. If you were to go onto a site about high perfomance cars I'd be prepared to bet there would also be 90% blokes and 10% women.

Also you'll find some of the women here are TV's or TG's pretending to be women. You'll find the range of subjects discussed compleletely across the spectrum as well as the ususal fashion issues. Certain strange topics crop up over and over again. Damaging floors, getting stuck in mud, starting or driving cars wearing heels, heels in the snow etc etc. They're topics you'll rarely find in fashion blogs populated by genuine females.

Don't worry though, there are plenty of genuine females here, and the pretend ones are just as friendly. It's all part of life's rich tapestry.

Thanks for your analogy of the site Firefox.

I must say it's not what I'd expected.

It's an interesting window into male fascination for womens shoes.

I have to say I'm finding it interesting to be asked so many questions on the subject.

Apart from being entertaining it's nice to find others who share a fetish for footwear, male or female.

[foxylady]

Thanks for your analogy of the site Firefox.

I must say it's not what I'd expected.

It's an interesting window into male fascination for womens shoes.

I have to say I'm finding it interesting to be asked so many questions on the subject.

Apart from being entertaining it's nice to find others who share a fetish for footwear, male or female.

Amanda,

as so many now already said in the previous threads. We male members have the need to talk about High heel Fashion and because we are not directly accepted in the community (maybe in the future, you never know...).

It is not like you girls that can talk about fashionina cofeebar. We have to talk about fooball and motorsports and other so called masculine things. If I would start talking about fashion in my local, they probably all will look at me with the expression of "what the heck is he talking about...."turn around and start talking again about the latest footbalmatch.

I do hope we can have some advice from you in further threads, I defenatly would like to have some. I am now training more or less for the 6" heels.

Where about in England do you live.

FL

[Firefox]

Thanks for your analogy of the site Firefox.

I must say it's not what I'd expected.

No problem. Although the fascinating thing about forums is that individuals have the ability to change the directions and make certain subjects more prominent. You just need to carry a certain number of people with you and new directions can emerge within the broader framework.

The forum is what people make of it and it's certainly changed since we started it in 2002 and from the old boardhost forums before.

Boardhost is still going by the way. You can see it here:

http://members3.boardhost.com/jennyheels/

[Amanda]

Amanda,

as so many now already said in the previous threads. We male members have the need to talk about High heel Fashion and because we are not directly accepted in the community (maybe in the future, you never know...).

It is not like you girls that can talk about fashionina cofeebar. We have to talk about fooball and motorsports and other so called masculine things. If I would start talking about fashion in my local, they probably all will look at me with the expression of "what the heck is he talking about...."turn around and start talking again about the latest footbalmatch.

I do hope we can have some advice from you in further threads, I defenatly would like to have some. I am now training more or less for the 6" heels.

Where about in England do you live.

FL

OMG! 6 inch heels, you really are serious.

I think it's great that you can express yourself in here.

So often people talk least about the things they think about most and it's usually for fear of exposing themselves and being shot down in flames.

Of course I'll do my best to answer any questions while I'm around but I'm not sure what else I can add in a place with such experience.

I live in Scotland, which is quite close to England but not very near anywhere else.

[MetalTips]

I hope I didnt fall into the "friction-jealousy-sexism" category. I was treading carefully today and wanted to understand what women like and perhaps look to see the correlation as to why I appreciate the same. I know its another question, but are you able to say what it is you were expecting? I am genuinely interested to know, and I hope you felt the sincerity. It would be sad if you should stop posting. In my view women are highly regarded (not just, but as well as) for their acceptance and elegance in heels. I certainly would never take it to a point of sexism or jealousy. The same acceptances or perceptions could be felt about lots of other things, for example trousers, skirts or kilts, shirts or blouses and even ties, fragrances to beauty products / lotions becoming unisex. It all starts with the understanding.

[foxylady]

OMG! 6 inch heels, you really are serious.

I think it's great that you can express yourself in here.

So often people talk least about the things they think about most and it's usually for fear of exposing themselves and being shot down in flames.

Of course I'll do my best to answer any questions while I'm around but I'm not sure what else I can add in a place with such experience.

I live in Scotland, which is quite close to England but not very near anywhere else.

Scotland, your avatar gives the impression of a much better and sunnier place in GB.

That is exactly what I mean, express ourselves. You should know how many people have their own desires but are afraid to talk about it. Even with their own partners.... What a ly do they live.

I had in a previous job a lot of people coming to me and talk about their own problems.... and the stories I heard where amazing.

We should try to meet and exchange experience. I'm certain that you have lots more experience then I have.

Are you coming to the annual Heel Meet in London.

FL

[Amanda]

Scotland, your avatar gives the impression of a much better and sunnier place in GB.

Are you coming to the annual Heel Meet in London.

FL

Where I live is probably the least sunny place in Britain.

My camera only usually comes out of its bag when I'm on holiday.

I think I might feel a bit out of place at your high heel meeting but thank you for inviting me anyway

[Firefox]

I don't think you'd be out of place. We're a pretty easy bunch to talk to and we do get women coming along so you'd be welcome if you could make it.

[foxylady]

Where I live is probably the least sunny place in Britain.

My camera only usually comes out of its bag when I'm on holiday.

I think I might feel a bit out of place at your high heel meeting but thank you for inviting me anyway

Yeah come along, and bring you camera....

our avatar are these your legs.... on holiday....

FL

[Amanda]

I know its another question, but are you able to say what it is you were expecting? I am genuinely interested to know, and I hope you felt the sincerity. It would be sad if you should stop posting.

I'm not really sure what I expected but it wasn't a window into what appears to be almost another world hidden from view.

I bumped into this forum while browsing and joined before I had read any of it.

I'll only stop posting if it ceases to interest me.

[Histiletto]

We always can use another perspective in the wearing of high heels. Thanks for sharing yours with us, Amanda! Looking forward to more of your insights.

[hoverfly]

I'm not really sure what I expected but it wasn't a window into what appears to be almost another world hidden from view.

I bumped into this forum while browsing and joined before I had read any of it.

I'll only stop posting if it ceases to interest me.

Turned out to be a eye opener did it not? It's really a narrow topic I my self don't wright here much any more, but I check up on it daily to see if any thing interesting comes along or something to share.

[tightsnheels]

Amanda, even if your intrest wanes please continue to check in now and then. As hoverfly said he doesn't post near as often but he still checks in and his insights are well worth reading, so I'm sure yours would be. As someone pointed out in another thread some of us post everyday others every few months but all are appreciated greatly.

There is much to say for experiance and being female you have us all topped. For an example of that just try to remember your first pair of heels and the feelings they gave you at the time.

[Marcus]

...I don't see why guys shouldn't wear heels if they want to.

Sure it doesn't send out a very masculine signal but then guys are not 100% masculine anyway...

Why?

Suppose there's a guy who really really loves admiring heels. Would you define him "less masculine"? I don't think so.

Now, let's imagine this guy loves heels so much that he wants to wear'em. How would you define him now?

Again the concept: a guy admiring gals is "normal" (what a shameful word here), a guy in love with a gal wouldn't be "normal"?

Anyway I don't want to start a flamewar, but just my 0.02$. I'm not doing anti-sexism or whatsoever, just want to bring light on this matter to illuminate the path of my (upcoming) life...

[Amanda]

Why?

Suppose there's a guy who really really loves admiring heels. Would you define him "less masculine"? I don't think so.

Now, let's imagine this guy loves heels so much that he wants to wear'em. How would you define him now?

Again the concept: a guy admiring gals is "normal" (what a shameful word here), a guy in love with a gal wouldn't be "normal"?

Anyway I don't want to start a flamewar, but just my 0.02$. I'm not doing anti-sexism or whatsoever, just want to bring light on this matter to illuminate the path of my (upcoming) life...

Thanks Marcus,

for your 0.02$.

I have no intention of starting any "flamewar" either, I'm just interested and learning.

[Milan_Heels]

I like Miss Snake's posts. They aren't sensored to be "nice" - she just expresses her opinion - long may they continue. I think Marcus was saying that wearing heels does not make a male heel wearer de-masculanised - Let's face it (depending on your interpretation of masculinity) it does!! Although different cultures view masculinity slightly differently, I think most people here look from a traditional/medieval?/historical/religeous/mythical/christian view - I've got a vision of King Arthur gallantly striding forward leading his men into battle and getting his 4 1/2 inch Jimmy Choo's stuck in the mud Those Arthurian legends could have been sooo different!!

[Amanda]

I think Marcus was saying that wearing heels does not make a male heel wearer de-masculanised - Let's face it (depending on your interpretation of masculinity) it does!! Although different cultures view masculinity slightly differently, I think most people here look from a traditional/medieval?/historical/religeous/mythical/christian view - I've got a vision of King Arthur gallantly striding forward leading his men into battle and getting his 4 1/2 inch Jimmy Choo's stuck in the mud Those Arthurian legends could have been sooo different!!

I would percieve masculinity to be exhibited by someone able to climb a mountain, fell trees, carry a heavy load up a ladder, drive oxen through a muddy field, push my car out of the road when it's broken, carry me upstairs, build a kitchen extension and run after and tackle that burglar.

I just can't imagine any of this being done in stiletto slingbacks.

[foxylady]

I would percieve masculinity to be exhibited by someone able to climb a mountain, fell trees, carry a heavy load up a ladder, drive oxen through a muddy field, push my car out of the road when it's broken, carry me upstairs, build a kitchen extension and run after and tackle that burglar.

I just can't imagine any of this being done in stiletto slingbacks.

Neither can I Amanda, but you always can take your heels off to chase the burglar...

FL

[Amanda]

Neither can I Amanda, but you always can take your heels off to chase the burglar...FL

I suppose shooting a burglar would be easier. That's what I would opt for

[las]

I suppose shooting a burglar would be easier. That's what I would opt for

Well for sure, yes - but when the police arrive, you'd probably get a longer sentence than the burgular!

[foxylady]

If you have agun, yes opt for the shooting.... But that hasn't got anything to do with the Gender related issues.... Unless the burglar nicked your heels... FL

[hoverfly]

I would percieve masculinity to be exhibited by someone able to climb a mountain, fell trees, carry a heavy load up a ladder, drive oxen through a muddy field, push my car out of the road when it's broken, carry me upstairs, build a kitchen extension and run after and tackle that burglar.

I just can't imagine any of this being done in stiletto slingbacks.

In come cases nether can I, all I see is breaking my neck unless it's a low heel on a boot or something. However I have use my heels to reach up on things when installing a new cabinet over the washer and dryer. They do come in handy, though foot placement awareness is important when standing on a stool.