Purges

[Dr. Shoe]

Somebody said something the other day that got me thinking. Has anyone ever chucked away their entire collection of heels? I did this once because I crashed my car and put two of my passengers in hospital (they're fine now 20 years later). That night I realised that I had been thinking about heels at the moment when I crashed so I decided that I would remove that distraction from my life and bagged them up (10 pairs or so) and chucked them in a skip. The following evening I had second thoughts and went to get them back to find that it had been emptied. I had to rebuild my collection and over the years I had collect quite a number of pairs which was enough to fill a bin liner. What I used to do, if I went to mum's for the weekend I would put them in the dustbin in a sealed bag so that if anything ever happened to me, there would be no embarrasments knowing that I could retrieve them on the Sunday upon my return. Little did I realise that because the previous monday was a bank-holiday all the collections were rescheduled. Guess what? Mine was on saturday! The bin was empty when I got back-unless someone else got them! The next time was when I was moving house and I stuffed all my heels into a number of bin-liners (my collection had grown) and I used the same binliners for rubbish except that I got two of the bags mixed up... The annoying thing was was that the bag I left behind contained a favourite pair of patent thigh boots and one of another much loved pair! I won't be making any of those mistakes again! LOL

[kneehighs]

Interesting topic, Dr. Wonder if it will turn into a sticky, given this topics recent resurgence? Personally, I don't believe in purging as I make a conscious effort to exert self-control, especially with respect to shoe purchases. So if a new pair comes in, an old pair goes out. I have 15 pairs in my closet and keep a strict self-imposed check and balance on its size. But more along the lines of your original post, when I moved to NYC, I threw out all my shoes except one pair of Nine West boots which I still have to this day. I do have another story which I'll share at the heel meet with you though!

[johnieheel]

OH YA! I threw away 20-30 pair that I loved very much for a narrow minded girlfriend who thought that wearing heels was just for women! Boy was that dumb! Wasn't with her to much longer as I couldn't be myself. Had to be what she wanted me to be and got stressed out.That was the only girlfriend I have ever had and will ever have that was unexcepting to my passion for heels.

[chris100575]

Yeah, I've had a couple of purges too. It was back when I was still struggling to accept that I wanted to wear women's shoes, and got rid of them in an attempt to quit. Of course, anyone who's done the same knows that the urge doesn't go with the shoes. Since then the closest I've gotten is pairs that I've sold / donated to charity shops etc, and later wished I'd held onto. I've never purged for a woman, and like Johnieheel said, I've now reached a point where I'm prepared to hang on for one that will accept me as I am heels and all. Chris

[JeffB]

Well, as most folks here already know, I went through a purge last year. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do, given what I was going through emotionally, but in hindsight, that wasn't exactly a wise thing to have done, giving away all those shoes and boots, nearly three dozen pairs in all. Back then, I felt good about what I did, but a year later, I certainly do regret having did something so rash. Oh, well, live and learn I guess.

[asdf174]

I've purged once before. I had about 8 pairs and I was feeling really weird about it (not sure if it was ok or not.) and I was feeling weirdnot having a gf and never been on a date. And I attributed part of my problem with being to obssessed with high heels and I thought what kind of girl would even want a guy who was into heels. and I threw away my collection. Now that I've come to terms with everything I think it was a big mistake throwing them all away. Some styles I really liked and can't find anymore. Like does anyone remember those chuncky mules that covered up most of the foot? Those were probaly my fav. all time style I had about three pairs all from payless and No one makes shoes like that anymore and I wish I still had mines. Oh well live and learn.

[Michou]

I believe should not worry too much, asdf174. Fashion being what it is, chances are the same style will come back someday. And, it might have been a good thing you got rid of those shoes because, for some people (like myself), as you grow older, your feet may require a larger size (lol). In the mean time, do not miss an opportunity to have fun.

[TXT-1]

while I haven't had any purges... I am on my 3rd pair of heels

1st 3.75" block heeled D'orsays...

2nd 6" black PVC Tony Shoes "101" "Stripper" platforms

3rd 7" (7.25" actually) leather Pleaser Sky-301 platform slides (current "Avatars"

am planning two more pairs....

Pleaser Xtreme 1020 8.5" ankle boots

Devious Ballet heels (style uncertain) some time next year...

heels number 2 and 3 cost enough to NOT even think about "purging"

the only time I get rid of a pair is when they are worn out!...

I was feeling really weird about it (not sure if it was ok or not.) and I was feeling weirdnot having a gf and never been on a date. And I attributed part of my problem with being to obssessed with high heels and I thought what kind of girl would even want a guy who was into heels

I think everyone (male) on this board has felt like that at least once Asdf!

[Platformdude]

I'll admit that I've purged several times. It's a useless gesture, but part of the whole socialization process. I look back and regret it, because some of the shoes that I ditched are ones that I can't get back. Bummer. I think (as others have mentioned) it's part of the process of getting used to who you are. It's not an easy thing; it still bothers me that liking heeled shoes is culturally considered a serious deviation, whereas the same habit in a woman would be seen as harmless.

[HighHeelArt]

I have purged as well. When I got to know Shelly I have thrown away several pair of heels including expensive thigh high boots. I thought it would not go over well when admitting to her that I was wearing heels. I guess I also wanted to erase the side of me that wanted to wear heels especially since she already wore heels for me almost 24/7. But since I am posting here you can guess that it did not take to long until the old urge made itself known again. I have built up my collection very fast again but the money could have been used for other purposes if I would not have had a weak moment.

[FunInHeels]

Yes and since then we have worn out your new thigh high boots I bought you for your birthday in 2001. and should be replacing a few other pair that you have had since you were how old again? I don't know why you never opened up to me when we first started dating. Or at least when we started getting really serious. After all, you knew everything I was into! Men in heels was nothing new to me. It took 2 years to finally tell me what was in that big box of yours, and look at all the fun we were missing. I'm glad you finally did tell me, because the only thing I love more than you wearing the shoes, is shopping for shoes! Kisses, Shelly

[Danielinheels]

I've purged once, but it was due to my situation - living in close quarters following HK - and the uncertainty of me getting my own space. I"m still living with others. I wound up giving away most of what I had before leaving Georgia, due to lack of packing space and, well, I felt good about donating those shoes to a group of people doing HK relief in Georgia. Some woman (or man) hit a shoe jackpot that day.

[sevenup]

Seems that there is always an underlying factor in these events be it either the addition of a partner or the sudden pangs of guilt as too why am i wearing heels, I had a fiance' she never knew i wore heels, i managed to keep them secret for a few years but felt that my "strange obsession" was getting in the way, She then found one pair but i managed too blag my way around it by telling her that i had got them for her and the size was alittle larger than hers because of the diff in heel height,too cut it short i managed to get her too wear them regularly for me and it was then that i thought my desires would subside , wrong! Anyway we split but not over this.I then had 12 months or so on my own and yes you guessed built my collection back up again Heaven! MY current gf found my collection as she was looking in the attic she was somewhat quizical about them and was unsure what too think but i just came clean and told her i used too wear them it never made me a bad person whilst we've been seeing each other so i'm not a weirdo just a normal ? bloke with a passion for heels , subject has never been raised again but no purges and i keep wearing them i will add that she did live with me at the time but we live apart now due too children problems Long live the Heel !

[Dr. Shoe]

I threw out all my shoes (about 5 pairs), skirts, blouses, womens underwear, make-up, etc about 10 years ago. I was in a relationship with the most wonderful girl I've ever met. She knew I liked wearing womens clothes, and had no problem with. But I felt it was coming between us, and not wanting to lose her, I threw it all out. Well, suffice to say, she left me as the over-whelming urge to wear womens clothes continued and eventually drove us apart. I don't blame her for leaving as she really caught me in a "coming out" phase. I've been single ever since (6 years +), for fear of putting another girl through the same thing. But I don't think it would be a problem now, as I'm completely "at one" with myself and what I do.

In a relationship honesty is the key to success. If you cannot be yourself then your relationship will never last.

[Skirted-UK]

I have been on the verge of several purges in my life but I have always resisted the urge to carrier them out because I know that its not the answer and in a few weeks time I will regret doing it. Another thing to consider is that womens fashion changes very quickly. In the ninties you could always go and buy a long black or navy straight skirt as this is what the majority of women wore to work. Now if you go into the same shops the calf-length straight skirts have been replaced by black or navy trousers. Its the same with shoes, there is nothing to say that 4" stilleto heels will be in fashion for ever. You could dump your entire collection of heels and find them out of fashion when you come to replace them. Most of my shoe collection is from Hayway shoes, good job I did not have a purge in October as Hayway shoes have just stopped trading!

[dr1819]

I have been on the verge of several purges in my life but I have always resisted the urge to carrier them out because I know that its not the answer and in a few weeks time I will regret doing it.

Good for you! It's much better to make a scathingly honest personal inventory and continue through life as who you really are, than to attempt to conform in ways which just aren't you.