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resolving the ego/anima conflict through individuation for the fashion freestyler


kneehighs

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How many of us have had the experience of sitting in our car debating if we should leave the car and walk to the highway restroom in the middle of the night, only to experience the thrill of wearing our heels? How many of us have experienced that struggle on a deeper level, when instead of actually getting out of the car, we instead recoil in the drivers seat in fear and drive home? Carl Jung (1876-1961), the famous Swiss psychiatrist, actually developed a theory that could lucidly explain this internal struggle.

Its a battle between the conscious masculine ego and the feminine anima.

Jung theorized that individuals have both masculine and feminine components in their psyche. For a male, the feminine component is the anima and for a female the masculine component of the unconscious is the animus. Jung postulated that the anima is the unconscious part of a mans mind that struggles with the part of a mans feminine personality that men reject consciously. Initially, it might not fit a mans self image for him to wear high heels, so theoretically, that conflict creates a disjointed existence. To whatever extent a man consciously experiences the world through masculine terms, his anima will include those latent behaviors and feelings that he defines as feminine.

A man's anima may develop over the course of time through various environmental influences ranging from media constructs of female beauty, to academically installed constructs of feminine hygiene, to a mans own mother. According to Jung, the process of psychological development involves a resolution of the conflict between the conscious ego and anima. Or in terms of a fashion freestyler, resolving the conflict between the conscious act of wearing high heels as a personal style statement and the unconscious definitions of what is feminine.

Jung postulated that when the conscious and anima of a man are reconciled in harmony and unity, individuation is achieved. "Individuation means becoming a single, homogeneous being, and, insofar as 'individuality' embraces our innermost, last, and incomparable uniqueness, it also implies becoming one's own self we could therefore translate individuation as 'coming to selfhood' or 'self-realization' " (Jung, 1928b, p. 171).

This is certainly one way to explain that overwhelming sense of liberation that some of us feel when we are able to confidently stride the streets in high heels. Put on a pair of heels. On kicks the anima, suggesting that our behavior is somehow wrong. If the anima wins, then we bury our freestyling desires in the closet of shame. If the conflict between the anima and the desire to freestyle is resolved, we achieve through individuation a tremendous inner sense of self-realization. I hope everyone on this forum discovers their own unique form of individuation and unleashes the freestyler within.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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yes kneehighs, thats just about right! you finally hit right on the head, so to speak. I always figured that there was some kind of term for how I had felt (& all others in this) but I just didnt know exactly how or what it was, but thanks to you, now I do! the true fact was that I had many thoughts over & over my mind as to what it was meaning for ME to like the concept of freestyling, and to how it applied to me as an individual MALE. I can see this so clearly how us men have very LITTLE fashion choice, and I get the over-all impression that somehow men are NOT supposed to WANT any such variation of styles because of the ASSUMPTION that men do not NEED them!! I just seem to have far more GUTS (as it were) to "break the idiot mold" of all this ENDLESS sameness that men see in "THEIR" dept of the store in question.the male "image"?? it is what I CHOOSE to make for ME!! & if that means going over to the "other side", well then thats it then isnt it!!? NOT what these stores are trying to suggest by their ads in papers and all, all this "for him-for her" crap is ALL made up-like I say, fashion for ME is where I FIND it, period.

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Kneehighs -

A most interesting post.

Years ago I recognized there was an inner struggle between my male and female components. I was brought up believing that only the male component was the "correct one" but I have learned that both make a contribution to who I am.

The female side is more prevalent when I’m painting or drawing and the male side is more prevalent when I’m working, particularly with my hands but also when programming.

I hope I don’t achieve individuation.

Jung postulated that when the conscious and anima of a man are reconciled in harmony and unity, individuation is achieved. "Individuation means becoming a single, homogeneous being, and, insofar as 'individuality' embraces our innermost, last, and incomparable uniqueness, it also implies becoming one's own self we could therefore translate individuation as 'coming to selfhood' or 'self-realization' " (Jung, 1928b, p. 171).

I rather enjoy the struggle my two components have and the description sounds a lot like growing up. I prefer Peter Pan’s goal of never growing up.

I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.

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I don't think I have any of these components. I'm just me which is probably a blend of both. You see much (if not all) of what we percieve to be either masculine or feminine behaviour is a result of constant social pressure. Even from birth mothers sexually identify their baby by dressing them in either pink or blue, though some will dress them on occassions in either yellow or white. Even in the victorian era when boys were dressed as girls in their infancy they would be dressed in a sailor suit by the age of 5 when most would start to identify in their birth gender. Later, boys are given "boy toys" and girls given dolls to play with. At school there is a strong demarcation between the sexes such as separate activities though the classes are usually mixed. In the victorian times boys and girls would have had separate entrances and even now there are separate schools. Despite all this, I have never truly "identified" with one gender or another which is perhaps why I find it so easy cross-dressing or wearing heels in public. Obviously I'm a man and quite happy to remain so and as a kid I was happy to play with boy toys and didn't care much for dolls. Even so, looking back, I think I was more like a girl in behaviour, over-sensitive and prone to crying a great deal. This led to some bullying which is another mechanism that attempts to reinforce gender.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

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I don't think I have any of these components. I'm just me which is probably a blend of both.

You see much (if not all) of what we percieve to be either masculine or feminine behaviour is a result of constant social pressure. Even from birth mothers sexually identify their baby by dressing them in either pink or blue, though some will dress them on occassions in either yellow or white. Even in the victorian era when boys were dressed as girls in their infancy they would be dressed in a sailor suit by the age of 5 when most would start to identify in their birth gender.

Later, boys are given "boy toys" and girls given dolls to play with. At school there is a strong demarcation between the sexes such as separate activities though the classes are usually mixed. In the victorian times boys and girls would have had separate entrances and even now there are separate schools.

Despite all this, I have never truly "identified" with one gender or another which is perhaps why I find it so easy cross-dressing or wearing heels in public. Obviously I'm a man and quite happy to remain so and as a kid I was happy to play with boy toys and didn't care much for dolls. Even so, looking back, I think I was more like a girl in behaviour, over-sensitive and prone to crying a great deal. This led to some bullying which is another mechanism that attempts to reinforce gender.

That's a very interesting mini-bio, one that I can identify with fairly well.

I find it's interesting to note a recent study demonstrates that girls learn better from female teachers and boys learn better from male teachers.

I'm create what a very comprehensive gender poll in the For Everyone thread. Please check it out.

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I agree with Dr. Shoe, Demoniaplatforms, and TBG, and identify with them. Growing up, I played with boy toys and was quite happy doing so. But, I also enjoyed wearing women's clothes also. To this day, I still have a couple of dolls that were given to me as Christmas presents by my parents. I am quite happy today being an "either---or" person. Hey---It's too late to change things at this stage of the game. I'm just going to run things out to the very end as they are. Cheers--- Dawn HH

High Heeled Boots Forever!

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I agree with Dr. Shoe, Demoniaplatforms, and TBG, and identify with them. Growing up, I played with boy toys and was quite happy doing so. But, I also enjoyed wearing women's clothes also. To this day, I still have a couple of dolls that were given to me as Christmas presents by my parents. I am quite happy today being an "either---or" person. Hey---It's too late to change things at this stage of the game. I'm just going to run things out to the very end as they are.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

to one's own self should thee be true!
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Growing up I was all boy. Still am. But I have a strong feminine side, as well, one that's compassionate. I cry easily at good movies, and test between about 50% and 75% "female" on psych tests for gender (not gender identity, as I identify quite well with being male).

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This is certainly one way to explain that overwhelming sense of liberation that some of us feel when we are able to confidently stride the streets in high heels. Put on a pair of heels. On kicks the anima, suggesting that our behavior is somehow wrong. If the anima wins, then we bury our freestyling desires in the closet of shame. If the conflict between the anima and the desire to freestyle is resolved, we achieve through individuation a tremendous inner sense of self-realization. I hope everyone on this forum discovers their own unique form of individuation and unleashes the freestyler within.

Most here readily acknoledge a pull between our masculine ego and the feminine anima, but it seems to me that most are missing the more important point to kneehighs essay: that achieving individuation through self-realization liberates us from the conflicts we sometimes feel.

Tonight I wore a new pair of round-toed, 4-inch heeled boots while teaching a class to 13 college students. Not always perhaps, but most of the time I feel I've achieved what kneehighs postulates.

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Growing up I was all boy. Still am. But I have a strong feminine side, as well, one that's compassionate. I cry easily at good movies, and test between about 50% and 75% "female" on psych tests for gender (not gender identity, as I identify quite well with being male).

Aahhh, Carl Jung, that contemporary of Freud who had a name for everything. Well I never studied Jung all that closely because I simply couldn't expand my vocabulary that fast. But his notions of the human psyche and what makes us tick is undoubtedly much closer to the truth than Freud ever hoped to get.

In the final analysis complete "wholeness" or "wellness" can never be acheived until complete harmony or balance is first established. So whatever is causing your conflict is what is also causing your disharmony. And I do believe that there are indeed spiritual aspects of all this.

In my personal experience, I felt a much greater degree of harmony after my ears were pierced than I ever had before. Moreover, unlike wearing shoes or clothing which could just as easily be removed, there was no way I could "unpierce" my ears. A commitment had been made and a threshold had been crossed from which there was no going back. This singular act helped me to better understand and accept myself as I am, than any other thing I can think of. Today, over 30 years later, my ears are still pierced and whether I wear earrings, skirts, heels or not, I can better understand and be at peace with myself than I ever could previously.:evil: (This is absolutely NOT an advocacy for men to have their ears pierced. I'm merely relating my experience.)

Keep on stepping,

Guy N. Heels

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Interesting. When things between my wife and I became untenable about five years ago, I had my ears pierced. Then again, she was emasculating. About a year later, I let the holes close and while sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get them re-pierced, I've not done so for now. Still wear skirts and heels, though - I'm wearing them now, which is great of the numerous costumed characters who keep ringing my doorbell...

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this feeling of "liberation" will grow more insistent in its demand the more often we wear heels in public...of, course, there may be occasional unpleasant experiences but, based on my own ongoing adventures the admiration and encouragement of others will underpin, strengthen and expand the anticipation of what each next day will reveal...we really are travelling through "an undiscovered country" ... Jim

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this feeling of "liberation" will grow more insistent in its demand the more often we wear heels in public...of, course, there may be occasional unpleasant experiences but, based on my own ongoing adventures the admiration and encouragement of others will underpin, strengthen and expand the anticipation of what each next day will reveal...we really are travelling through "an undiscovered country" ...

Jim

Agreed!

When more masculine heels are made that don't look like stubby-toed boots worn by 8th-graders, and they're marketed to men using a slow 2 to 5 year "rising heels" approach, I think you're going to see a lot more men wearing heels.

It would help to have more serious, believable, "normal" icons wearing heels. Prince, Michael Jackson, and Dennis Rodman, all heel-wearers from time to time, haven't exactly furthered the cause because of their other eccentricities. Now if Ashton Kucher should start wearing low, but noticeable heels, say, 2-1/2 to 3 inches, along with a few others of his genre...

BOOM!

The trend would be off and running.

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