Air Fare

[dr1819]

I just returned from a two-week vacation in the states (US), and would like to regail you with the details. I can't say where I went, other than the fact that it's a fairly progressive, and larger city (but by no means the size of Seattle, SF, LA, NY, or even Denver). First, because it was primarily with family, I limited my heel wearing to non-family events, which included travelling and shopping. For starters, I took the shuttle to Frankfurt wearing my 3" block-heeled leather ankle boots. They don't have you remove shoes at Frankfurt, so nary a stare until I was reading my book while waiting to board the flight. A young lady of around 11 came over and asked me, "Are those women's shoes?" I replied, "You mean because of the heel?" "Yes," she said. "Not all shoes with a higher heel are women's shoes. Men wear heels sometimes, too. Just not very often." Satisfied with this response, she went back to her mother who'd sent her over to ask the question! I sat in the isle, next to a German vacationer to the states. He seemed very unruffled by my heels, so we talked about the usual inaninities, given the language barrier, off and on during the 10-hour flight. Once in my destination airport (it was a direct flight), and having picked up baggage, I switched to my 4" heeled Gabby Rochelle knee-high leather boots and proceeded to check out my rental car. I noticed two stares from men, once they thought they were outside of my peripheral vision, but the wife of one of him gave him a slight slap on his shoulder and I could hear her whisper, "Don't stare!" I proceeded to my destination and hotel without incident, and waited for the rest of the family to arrive. During that time, I proceeded downtown for a bite to eat. Along the way, I spied a bike shop and decided to enter. I found a much better rack than the one I currently have, and purchased a rack and a rack bag. While the clerk was ringing up the sale, a man walked in wearing 5" boots with a narrower (but not stiletto) heel and a slight (3/8") platform. He was also sporting normal male attire, except for his nails, which had been done at the salon and were painted a shimmering dark red. I thought about engaging him in conversation, but he seemed a bit off-kilter in his mannerisms and words, so I simply concluded the sale and left the store. About three blocks away I came across a Payless Shoe store. Normally, I'm not all that impressed by Payless quality or fit, but given the prices, it never hurts to try. The larger sizes were in the last isle, in full view of the passers-by, but I didn't care. They had a pair of 4" block-heeled boots in my size, brown suede, as well as a pair of cowboy-looking boots with a 3-1/2" tapered heel that's actually positioned inward from the back of the heel, which, anatomically speaking, is the correct position to minimize ankle rotation stress while walking. I purchased both, and asked if I could wear the latter boots out of the store, to which the manager replied, "Of course!" I was surprised at his response, so I asked him the following question: "I'm wondering, sort of taking an informal survey, as to how many men buy women's shoes here?" "Oh, quite a bit," he replied. I asked him if he would care to guess as to the percentage. "You might not believe this, but it's actually between about 40% and 50% of all our sales." "You're kidding!" I exclaimed. "It's really that high?" "Oh, yes," he replied. "Most of the sales during the day are from women shoppers, who'll spend a lot of time in the store, but may or may not buy anything. Most of the men, however, come in during the evening, try on two or three pairs quickly, make a purchase or two, then leave." I then asked if he'd worked other Payless Stores in the area, or elsewhere, and he'd done both, and said the store he'd worked in the suburbs saw males as between 10% and 20% of it's female shoe clientelle, while the one he worked in the Midwest (Denver) saw men as buying about 25% of their female shoes. I let him know of this website, it's purpose, a few brief demographics, and asked him if he'd be willing to spread the word to the other men who purchase women's shoes at his store, and he said he would, as he thought it might help sales for them o know there are others who share their taste for high-heeled shoes. (to be continued...) I proceeded to a coffee shop for a cup of java, a newspaper, and a ham and egg sandwich, before returning to the hotel, but not before walking around the little park downtown. The most amazing thing is that I saw not just one other man wearing heels that day (in the bike shop), but three, including one walking in the opposite direction on the street, and another sitting on a bench in the park. All of us were wearing boots, covered in jeans, but it was also clear, from the clack of the heels itself if nothing else, that we were wearing heels. I did notice others noticing my footwear. But the most amazing thing is their response. In this fairly large city where tatooes and various piercings are common, where women routinely wear buzz cuts, the concept of a man wearing heels was seen by all who noticed (and it was many, as it was during broad daylight), as a total non-issue. My family doesn't approve of my wearing heels. Nevertheless, during one outing, for dinner, I insisted on wearing the aforementioned pseudo-cowboy boots. On the ride home, my mother commented that she'd watched everyone's reactions and the most amazing thing to her was that while she noticed others noticing my heels, she also noticed than none of them had any reactions at all except for the simple fact that they noticed it. No stares, no pointing, no comments - just acceptance, at least publically. What really surprised me, though, is that she (like she usually does) talked with the waiter a bit about local attractions, then in private she went up to him and asked him if he'd noticed her son's footwear. "Yes ma'am" was his response. She then asked him what he thought of my wearing heels, and he replied, "I think they fit rather well with his jeans and shirt" (I was wearing my off-white denim shirt). She was rather surprised, so I said, "What did you expect? Lynch mobs? People around here aren't judgmental. Look how others are dressed," I said, glancing around the room. In the restuarant there were businessmen in suit and ties, a few couples in punk gear with short spike hair, a smattering of piercings, casual wear, and some grunge. It was very eclectic. The next day, while at a very large Nordstroms at the southern end of town, I asked the salesmen if he'd be able to show me a selection of six styles in my size, and he returned with just four shoes in my size, none of which I'd asked for, and none with a heel higher than 1-1/2". "I'm sorry, Sir - this is all we carry in that size. However, we do have everything you asked for available online. If there's anything wrong with your order you can return it via mail, or simply bring it here, and we'll be happy to refund your money." I was really looking forward to being able to try on a number of high-quality high-heeled shoes without having to return them (like I normally do), but they simply couldn't accomodate. I asked him the same question I asked the Payless salesman, however, and he said, "Yes, about 10% of those who buy ladies' shoes are men." I asked if he thought they were buying them for their spouse or themselves, and he said, "judging from the sizes, and the fact they try them on, I'd say they're buying them for themselves." As I was wearing my flat clogs, I asked him, "What do you think about men wearing women's shoes, specifically heels?" He replied, "I'm sure they have various reasons. Some are crossdressers, while others do various shows, but it's my impression that most of them wear heels simply because they enjoy it. I think that's fine. Who knows? If more men were wearing heels, I might, too." Then he added, "but only if more masculine styles appeared, as I'm not into cross-dressing." One final question: "So you don't equate heel-height with cross-dressing?" "Of course not," he replied. "I was working shoe sales in the 70s, and half the men's racks in the store I was working in at the time had heels with 2 to 4 inches. It's just fashion. Done right, I think it's good fashion, too, as it can look very nice." All told, I was very impressed by the repetoire of non to neutral to positive reactions I received. At least in some cities in the US, heel-wearing men is no longer a novelty. While it may still be unusual, it's been seen enough to be considered an acceptable practice, if not commonplace. No, I didn't bring a skirt, but I did see no less than half a dozen men wearing skirts throughout the week, mostly Macabi skirts (or similar) along with Teva-like sandals, as well as one man wearing a kilt with sneakers. Return trip: I went through Denver. The flight out of the originating city was a non-issue. A few people looked twice at the heeled boots in the bucket as they went through the conveyor, but the TSF men and women didn't give it a second thought. On the flight, which was a 737, I had the wing exit seat, which gave me a lot of leg room, put my footwear in full view of the couple immediately in front. I sat next to a real estate agent who was about 7 years older than me. Her kids were grown, she was wearing jeans, a nice shirt, and 3" wedge clogs of a fairly small size. She was originally from the area we'd just left, and she noticed but ignored my footwear as did everyone else from there. We talked about real estate markets and a few other things. Towards the end of the flight, she said her son (who's now a civil engineer) gave her a scare when he was a boy as he began sketching the heels of women's shoes, and didn't let up for about three months. She worried about him, until one day he began sketching towers. I asked how old he was, and she replied "eleven," which would have put him at an age where he'd probably been able to wear his mom's heels. I'd asked if she'd ever suspected that he'd done so, and she was fairly sure he had, to which I replied, "most boys do, but most boys grow out of it." Then she asked, with a smile on her face, and while pointing indiscriminantly towards my 3-1/2" heels, "did you grow out of it?" "Yes," I replied, "I did. However, about twenty-five years later I began wearing heels again." She asked, "If you don't mind my asking, I'm curious as to why a man would wear heels?" I shared with her that many more men enjoy wearing heels in private than she's ever seen on the street, but that most men who wear heels are heterosexuals, happy with their marriages, but simply prefer a different choice of footwear than the mainstream, just as some men and women prefer a different choice of jewelry and piercing locations than others." She said she understand, and shared that she'd seen men wearing heels before, but not often, and she'd never bothered asking any of them why. "Well, now you know!" I said, and she added, "they do look good on you. It looks perfectly normal with what you're wearing." During my layover, I hung out at a sports bar where I sat next to a lady who's fairly high up in a major women's cosmetics chain. She noticed my heels right off, but ignored them, and we talked about a lot of things, mainly kids, what we did, where we lived, etc. After a while, the subject turned to alternative fashion, as she was wearing a shawl with a long skirt, an unusual form of dress for air travel. She simply said she liked to look nice, then asked me about my wearing heels, adding that she'd seen several men wearing heels in recent years, and was wondering if there was any significant behind it. I asked her if I could borrow her thumb ring for a minute. It was fairly innocuous. I slipped it on my finger and asked her if she would give it a second glance if she saw a man wearing the ring. She said no, and I asked her if this was a woman's ring or a man's ring, and she said it could be either. She got the point and said, "So men wearing heels is nothing more than last decade when men were getting earrings, or for that matter, when women began wearing pants?" "Bingo!" I replied with a smile, and she held up her glass and said, "well here's to you all, and I hope it catches on!" Bright lady.

[Dawn HH]

Dr1819:-) What a great trip and great comments for you and for heel wearing men. Cudos! Thanks for sharing this with us all. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[heelium]

Thanks dr1819, I really enjoyed reading that story, as has been said countless time before, If all of the men that enjoyed wearing heels in private began wearing their heels on the street then eventually nobody would take notice or care. Heelium

[Shafted]

A great read, dr1819!

[kneehighs]

WOW, dr1819 strikes gold. Thanks for sharing your adventures. Hope we can find more stories in this thread as time passes to.

[Thighboots2]

DR1819

Excellent posts. Basically the members of this board just need to get out there and do it. Mind you, I gather from all your posts that you do not go for the overly femenine styling and IMHO, this is how we should proceed.

Take a leaf out of the ladies book, wear the appropriate shoes for the outfit and time of day. No woman would wear heels, stiletto or otherwise, to go walking in the countryside! Yet if we wish to wear stilettos, but have yet to come out in such style as Kneehighs, that is where we go. Here in the UK, it is rare to see women doing their normal daily routine, shopping - school run - and so on, wearing thinner heels. If they wear a heel at all, then it will be a block type. Thin (and high) heels seem to be reserved for partying when they come out in force. Even women working in offices wear conservative heels in the 2-3" range and with a femenine style, but not too thin or too high. They do not like the label of "Tarty" that can be easily assigned to them by their colleagues.

Sure you can wear stilettos if you desire and can carry it off, but get yourself a pair of 3" block heel ankle boots and wear them under your pants (and they don't have to drag in the floor either, and you will get used to a higher heel whilst avoiding the inevitable wobble from the less than perfect surfaces.

Through the various contributions to this board I took the descision about this time last year to wear my shoes and boots all the time. I wear from 3" to 3.5" thick heels shoes and boots to work every day and enjoy the lift but relish the stability that comes with the wider heel. I have enjoyed every minute of it and has taken the edge of the desire so that I wear what is appropriate, either mans or womans footwear.

It is about time more of us stopped just talking about it, and just got on with wearing. This is how change comes about, talking about it just wont change attitudes, seeing it done well does as has been proved by several of the board. Join in and come out of the closet, it is less stuffy outside.

TB2

[kneehighs]

...snip...

It is about time more of us stopped just talking about it, and just got on with wearing. This is how change comes about, talking about it just wont change attitudes, seeing it done well does as has been proved by several of the board. Join in and come out of the closet, it is less stuffy outside.

TB2

Nice motivational exhortation there.

I'm beginning to believe that the world is already accepting of men in any kind of heels--provided its done with the right attitude, attire, and context. We may never be exclusively classified as the Freestyle Fashion Community to the point when someone sees a guy in heels, they say"there goes a freestyler" We are such a tiny minority of the world's population, that I don't realistically see that happening...thats why I've laid off the internet evangelization as of late.

But I think acceptance in the real world, not online, is already here on a micro level. It lies dormant, ready for us to activate the switch of acceptance in others. We just need to walk the talk, thats all.

[Thighbootguy]

dr1819 -

What a fantastic trip. I still maintain that public acceptance is directly proportional to how much confidence you project. After reading about this and some of your other outings it’s obvious that you are comfortable with the image you present and with that comfort comes confidence.

The information about the percentage of market share male customers provide for Payless was very interesting. I wonder if the management of Payless is aware of those figures?

Thank you very much for sharing with us.

[dr1819]

All - thanks for your responses. Kneehighs suggested that I use this thread as a personal recounting of my heeling adventures, and given the name and the fact that I love to fly, whether I'm the passenger or the pilot, I decided there's no better thread title, and intend to do just that. Happy heeling! Not very airy, but this evening, during civil twilight, I took my garbage out, in the drizzle, wearing my black two-strap RSVP 4" wedges (narrow heels), my kakhi mid-calf skirt, a black leather belt, and my charcoal long-sleeve shirt. Alas, no one else was out in the rain, so I decided to walk about half a block in one direction, and half a block in the other. A few cars passed by, but I doubt any of them noticed anything out of the ordinary. Still no one was out, so I returned home, and am happily back on my computer.

[HeelD]

Dr1819 - great stories there.

[dr1819]

After work today, I changed into my new dress pants (charcoal, with a faint pinstripe), my best dress shirt, and my blazer, before walking to the local castle for some dinner.

Oh, yes - while wearing my new black suede boots with a 2-1/2" heel and a deliciously comfortable round toe!

The walk was uneventful, as the heel on the boot is relatively quiet. However, one woman extricating groceries from her car did notice and stared for a couple of seconds while she tried to determine if she was seeing things or if that guy walking by really was wearing a heeled boot.

Once at the castle, I walked around back to the restuarant, and sat down next to the stammtische table (it's the one reserved for the regulars or respected people of the town). They were busy discussing issues, so I don't think any of them noticed.

As I sat down, though, my pants rode up to my ankle, exposing the entire lower half of the boot, heel and all. Fortunately, it was fairly dark, and aside from the heel, the boot itself looks like most men's boots.

But, they did notice, and even though I don't understand German, I could tell from their glances and gestures they were discussing it.

At one point, the manager of the little eatery came by, and they asked him a question. I could tell it was about me, because before he responded, he glanced at me, then at my boots, before turning back and telling them "nein" and a few other words. As I'm a regular, I'm sure he was defending me as a good customer (I tip well, too).

About half an hour later, after they left, the manager stopped by and said, "Don't worry about them. You're a good customer. Always welcome here. Not everything thinks like them." He patted my shoulder once then went back to the kitchen.

Interestingly, to date I've received almost zero negative feedback from my heelwear here in Germany. Even the security at Frankfurt airport (flugplatz) overlooks it without comment, so I was surprised to see it at the stammtische table.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. After dinner I strolled outside to look down upon the village, and enjoyed my hefeweisen. I was sitting down, crossing my legs, which not only exposed the heel, but elevated it. Several others noticed, but none said a thing other than "hello."

I'd carried my book with me, and began to read. After about twenty minutes, a man and woman, middle-aged, sat at the table next to me. While the man went inside to get beers, the woman asked me in English if the book was good (Clive and Dirk Cussler's "Black Wind"). I replied that it was, and self-consciously uncrossed my legs and lowered the heeled boot to the ground below the table.

Her next question surprised me, mainly because of how calmly she asked and the lack of a segway: "Has anyone ever given you problems because you wear heels?" I chuckled a bit and replied, "only the stammtische..." and she laughed back.

By this time her husband was returning, beers in hand. I though this would end our conversation, but she kept right on: "Well I think they're nice on you. Do you enjoy wearing them? Oh, that's a silly question - if you didn't, you wouldn't be wearing them, would you?"

She asked the usual questions, such as why I wear heels, etc., while her husband politely ignored us took care of ordering for them. Then, it was his turn to surprise me: "Would you care to join us?" he said as he gestured at an empty chair at their table.

I politely declined, saying that I needed to head home. I thanked her for her conversation and she thanked me for being candid, before they began a conversation in German.

I walked the 2/3 of a mile back home without incident.

[Shafted]

Isn't it funny how the people that expressing their dislike to others, usually come off as being the wierd ones.

[dr1819]

Certainly close-minded! I think one of the reasons the stammtische reacted that way is because they tend to be the older folk of the village, and usually defend traditional ways. Secondly, they were en masse. Even though only four of them were there, mob psychology played a role, and I'm sure each of them felt more bold than they would have alone, as well as more compelled to say something to "preserve nature." Sadly, I doubt a single one of them had the slightest clue that during King Louis' reign in France, the one that wore heels up to 5", quite a few nobility from Germany began wearing heels as well. So, to "preserve nature" I would recommend all men return to the practice of wearing heels! I'm sure this would flabberghast the stammtische, but the old geezers deserve a wake-up call. I originally refrained from posting the following, as I had absolutely no idea if anything would come of it. However, things are looking good so far, so... On the second half of my flight last week from the states, I sat next to a nice girl who happens to have just moved to this area. At first she sort of twigged on the heels, but a lot can happen during a 10-hour flight... Within two hours we were joking around, sort of feeling one another out. When the lights were turned off, we were both tired, but neither of us sleep well sitting up, so after about half an hour she asked if I would mind if she laid her head on my shoulder. She's pretty cute, and I'm not dumb, so we both fell asleep, and once when I half awoke, we were holding hands, which continued for the next three hours. The lights came back on, we were served breakfast, the sun was rising rapidly, and then we landed. Even more amazing, is that she and I took the same airport shuttle home, as the village she lives in is just a mile and a half from my own. Talk about coincidence... And during the shuttle ride back, we held hands again. Before I was dropped off, she told me where she was staying and asked me to look her up, and I said that I would. Since then, we've talked on the phone a bit, and I helped her look for a place to stay. After looking in several villages around the area, she chose a place in the same village I live in, less than a mile from my place. We're heading to a nice city tomorrow that's about an hour away to window shop, eat some great food, and see the castle. She did ask me if I were going to be wearing the boots I wore on the plane, or if I would be wearing something a little more conservative, so of course I'll defer to the hint and wear my black leather 2-1/2" block heeled boots that look like any other man's shoe beneath my jeans, and she said she was ok with that. Still, I've only known her less than a week, so it's not like we're even really dating or anything. Although I did promise her a dinner and a movie tomorrow after we return... I'll keep you posted.

[kneehighs]

You sure seem to do alot of in-flight hand holding with women. Looks like you are having fun with your dating life! Looking forward to more stories as things unfold.

[dr1819]

You sure seem to do alot of in-flight hand holding with women.

Looks like you are having fun with your dating life!

Looking forward to more stories as things unfold.

Actually, this one was the only one. I didn't hold hands with the first one. Rather, we just talked a bit about fashion and a few other things (relationships).

However, this girl is turning out to be a trip!

We went to the Germany city with the large castle I told you about, and about 15 minutes after we got off the train, we'd walked smack into the village fesival, which filled three open platz, and ran the full mile and a half main drag. Marching bands, lots of tremendously good food and music.

She took a picture of the castle overlooking the three churches downtown, and she was so beutiful I just had to kiss her. I was glad when she kissed back. Then she said, "I was wondering when you were going to get around to that."

For the next ten hours we walked, ate, drank, toured, sampled, hiked, explored, all the while thoroughly enjoying one another's company.

I think the thing I like about her the most is the fact that she's a very level-headed girl with a lot more maturity for her age than I've seen in other women, including some who're significantly older. The fact that she's fun to be with, and a natural beauty who takes care of herself are certainly considerations, as well!

I'll keep you posted...

In the meantime, I got home, changed into my 2-1/2" rubber block heeled black leather boots, and took out a bunch of old bottled that had been stacking up in the cupboard. On the third trip, my neighbor, who was working on his broken-down car for the first time in more than a year, saw me. We said high, talked for a bit about things, before I headed back in the house.

I don't think he noticed my shoes in the least.

A girl I recently dated e-mailed me and asked if I'd like to go to a Halloween costume party Saturday evening.

We haven't decided on costumes, but I thought about duplicating my female Pirate costume. However, I don't think this girl would be nearly as accepting of that as the last. Nevertheless, I'll run it by her. It's a little late to do anything else...

I had a good evening. I walked to my favorite Greek restuarant, where the dishwasher/cook is the owner/waiter's sister. He speaks English well, she speaks very little.

I sat at a corner table wearing some lower heeled boots, black pants, and ordered. When the owner/waiter came to my table he said, "May I ask you a question?"

Me: Certainly.

Him: My sister wanted to ask you this, but she does not speak English. She noticed your shoes and wanted to know why you are wearing women's shoes.

Me: (chuckling) Women's shoes? What, just because they have a heel?

Him: Exactly

Me: Do you know what a foustanella is?

Him: But of course.

Me: Why would a man wear a skirt?

Him: A foustanella is not a skirt. It's made for a man.

Me: So were these (I pointed to my boots)

Him: They were?

Me: Certainly. You're not so young that you don't remember the Beatles, and other rock bands that wore heels, do you?

Him: Yes, but I thought that was just for show.

Me: I think for some it was, but for others, it was because they could, and in the 1970s a lot heels were made for men, in many different styles. I never wore them back then, as I was a kid. But now, yes, I enjoy wearing heels.

Him: Hmmm.... I see your point.

Me: Please tell your sister that I think she is very pretty (she really is).

Him: (grinning) I will do that, but I wonder about her response.

Me: (laughing) Well, whatever her response, at least she'll know she has an admirer.

Him: (still grinning) I will do as you ask. You have an excellent evening, Sir.

Me: Thank you. I really enjoy your restaurant and the food, here. Very nice.

Him: Thank you! (turns and leaves)

About two minutes later, she brings a shot of a licorice-tasting liqueur to my table, and instead of the normal politeness, she's all smiles, a bit jittery, saying what she can in English to let me know "we like you" as a customer. She also said, "You dress nice." I smiled, and thanked her before she left for the kitchen.

I dunno. Possible date, but she's totally uneducated.

Kneehigh's connection are far more sublime... Then again, it could just be the city in which he's living!

[heelme]

I've eagerly read and enjoyed your outings, dr1819, thanks for sharing them here. Judging from how you've been approached and conversed with strangers says to me that you not only maintain confidence, but have an easy to know type of personality. Traits that will only favor you as you continue wearing heels wherever you care to. As you stated earlier on, one man you saw in heels appeared befuddled and gave off a kind of vibe that did not invite conversation, too bad for him, he's missing out. To me, like most here, wearing heels out of the house is fun but far more enjoyable when there's some interraction with others. BTW, I have yet to see another man in heels or skirt in public. I'm grateful for the information passed by talking with the salesman at Payless as well. They consistently come out with new styles in at least a size 12 and some in 13. Hopefully, their market analysts will conclude they have a market to tap with larger sizes. Please keep this thread going with your reports. I'm glad kneehighs talked you into relating some of your adventures.

[dr1819]

DR1819

Excellent posts. Basically the members of this board just need to get out there and do it. Mind you, I gather from all your posts that you do not go for the overly femenine styling and IMHO, this is how we should proceed.

Take a leaf out of the ladies book, wear the appropriate shoes for the outfit and time of day. No woman would wear heels, stiletto or otherwise, to go walking in the countryside! Yet if we wish to wear stilettos, but have yet to come out in such style as Kneehighs, that is where we go. Here in the UK, it is rare to see women doing their normal daily routine, shopping - school run - and so on, wearing thinner heels. If they wear a heel at all, then it will be a block type. Thin (and high) heels seem to be reserved for partying when they come out in force. Even women working in offices wear conservative heels in the 2-3" range and with a femenine style, but not too thin or too high. They do not like the label of "Tarty" that can be easily assigned to them by their colleagues.

Sure you can wear stilettos if you desire and can carry it off, but get yourself a pair of 3" block heel ankle boots and wear them under your pants (and they don't have to drag in the floor either, and you will get used to a higher heel whilst avoiding the inevitable wobble from the less than perfect surfaces.

Through the various contributions to this board I took the descision about this time last year to wear my shoes and boots all the time. I wear from 3" to 3.5" thick heels shoes and boots to work every day and enjoy the lift but relish the stability that comes with the wider heel. I have enjoyed every minute of it and has taken the edge of the desire so that I wear what is appropriate, either mans or womans footwear.

It is about time more of us stopped just talking about it, and just got on with wearing. This is how change comes about, talking about it just wont change attitudes, seeing it done well does as has been proved by several of the board. Join in and come out of the closet, it is less stuffy outside.

TB2

Dude. Thighboots2. Wow, awesome. This is exactly what I've been talking about over the last several years.

A pronounced, yet subtle approach that says "men wear heels" but "not in your face."

Excellent!

And Thank You! A tribute to more of us who should just "do it."

I've eagerly read and enjoyed your outings, dr1819, thanks for sharing them here. Judging from how you've been approached and conversed with strangers says to me that you not only maintain confidence, but have an easy to know type of personality. Traits that will only favor you as you continue wearing heels wherever you care to. As you stated earlier on, one man you saw in heels appeared befuddled and gave off a kind of vibe that did not invite conversation, too bad for him, he's missing out. To me, like most here, wearing heels out of the house is fun but far more enjoyable when there's some interraction with others. BTW, I have yet to see another man in heels or skirt in public.

I'm grateful for the information passed by talking with the salesman at Payless as well. They consistently come out with new styles in at least a size 12 and some in 13. Hopefully, their market analysts will conclude they have a market to tap with larger sizes.

Please keep this thread going with your reports. I'm glad kneehighs talked you into relating some of your adventures.

Thanks for the comments. I'd like to think that those who're condescending are the ones more prone to wear heels if they had half a chance and the one's who're more supporting are those who already do!

Air Fare - What to Wear for Halloween?

Halloween came late for me, last night, to be specific. Sure, I had the parties last weekend, which were a lot of fun. But the real test, the real Halloween came when I wasn't trying to disguise myself but rather, to simply be myself.

However, I'm male, so "myself" isn't female. Nevertheless, it's Halloween, so I crossed the line, just a bit, hoping to have some fun without it getting flipped back into my face.

Just for tonight, I re-pierced my ears (ouch, but oh, well, as I'd soon be drinking), and stuck in a pair of dangles. Next, the hair - a little gell and uplift and it looked like that of half the progressive girls in town. A good shave (yeck), some very light makeup (I've a small nose and large lips - the most work I need is with my eyebrows which are decidedly non-feminine, but are very light and not necessarily masculine, either). Eyeliner, shadow, and some of the rest of the gucky stuff that guys are very smart for not having given into using to any significant extent outside of theater and stage!

Next came the shirt - a simple black long-sleeved polo-collared shirt. Covering a bra, of course, with two small "boobs" created from my son's squishy toy, cut in half (he won't miss it). Waist nipper, courtesy of some company I'd ordered from long ago, my black denim and belted ankle-length skirt, one of my wife's more girly interlooped belts (which now fit me thanks to my weight reduction). My nails were still done since last week ("barely" past the tips of my fingers - can't even tell they're done without polish), so I re-applied Revlon Pure Peal 020, another of my wife's leftoevers, and walla - I had nails again.

I "topped" it off with my black leather boots with 4" heels. Kind of worn, these days, but still fit well, and a known entity, so I went with them. I borrowed a small purse from a girlfriend (she's a good friend, a girl, so she's a girlfriend, just not a "girlfriend," if you know what I mean (although, to be really confusing, for a short time she really was my girlfriend)), loaded it with an ID card, credit card, cash, taxi card, and headed downtown.

Right through neighborhoods of parents excorting their kids for Halloween.

Nary an eye turned my way, as they probably thought I'm just some woman escorting her kids through the neighborhood or walking point A to point B. Plus, it's Halloween, so more variations from normal would certainly be allowed...

Then I arrive at my favorite bar, down which I have to descend two flights of stairs into what looks like an old underground bunker but which the owner assures me was built prior to WWI simply as a cold storage of wine and beer fermenting casks.

Quite the most cool place

These days it holds about fifty people max, tons of conversation, a pool table, three semi-private rooms for less rocked (stereo) conversation, a pair of bathrooms, the proverbial bar, and the stairs which get you into and out of this crypt.

Tonight - totally packed, which means I'm rubbing everything with everyone, guy and girl, just to get to a squizzle between two people seated at the bar.

I ordered a beer, and about three minutes later, it was delivered, and the two guys on either sides were replaced with girls. Very lovely girls. As I mentioned in another thread, they didn't know whether to make me as a guy or girl, at first, so I tended towards the girl (I have some feminine features, including a short, turned-up nose and wider than average hips). They were iffy at first, but I joined in the conversation fully when I raised my voice about two-thirds of an octave, and their acceptance passed the passable line. Woe is me!

I conversed about all the things girls normally talk with girls about for about 35 minutes before I'd had enough (I'm not a gyrl), so I ordered a second beer and started talking with one of the guys who was dressed as a "hoagland" (whatever the heck that was - looked like a walking breadloaf). When he began hitting on me I called it a day and sailed out of there, finishing my second beer and walking home. Not my idea of fun, as I'm not of that persuasion.

I stopped by my recent girlfriend's, as she knows of my penchants and wanted to give her a show. She was non-plussed, a bit distant, and after about five minutes, called it a night. At least the hug was there.

Disappointing. But realistic.

There are others out there...

[heelme]

I don't know if "hoagland" could be a "hogie" or a sandwich like a "ruben", but sounds like an interesting costume. Sorry this outing was a disappointment especially after the effort you put in. Still, it's good to read the not-so-great reports as well, kind of puts things in perspective and makes one appreciate outings like your trip to Colorado even more. Again, enjoyable reading, please keep them coming.

[dr1819]

I don't know if "hoagland" could be a "hogie" or a sandwich like a "ruben", but sounds like an interesting costume. Sorry this outing was a disappointment especially after the effort you put in. Still, it's good to read the not-so-great reports as well, kind of puts things in perspective and makes one appreciate outings like your trip to Colorado even more. Again, enjoyable reading, please keep them coming.

Thank you for the encouragement, heelme. I do try and present life as realistic as it is, as in the long run, there's both more hope and less disappointment.

Reality wins.

Hey! That sounds like a new motto!

Another Air Fare adventure, by Dr1819!

Last week I flew to the states, to Colorado, landing smack between the two blizzards. On the way, I wore my black suede Vanelli booties with a 3-1/2" heel beneath my usual long jeans.

On the flight over, I sat next to a younger lady, in her early 30's. She was fairly progressive in her own apparel, including a skirt, flats, lip ring, ear tubes and rings, and an eyebrow stud. She spotted my boots the second time I returned from the bathroom, and said, "That's cool. I know a couple of guys who wear heels." Although it turned out both were goth, it started a conversation about fashion in general, and what's appropriate or not. Turns out she knew guys who wore skirts, too.

I had my ankle-length jeans skirt in my backback for the drive from the airport to my parents, and told her about it. She was daring, and challenged me to wear it on the plane. "No one will notice, and if they do, they won't care. Go on!"

So, I stepped into the bathroom and changed, returning in the skirt and heels. Of course it was the middle of the night, the interior lights were off, and most of the people were sleeping!

Still, I kept it on, and wore it while disembarking, going through customs (all they cared about was my passport and declaration card). I ducked into a bathroom and switched back to pants and hiking boots for the parents (Mom's ok, but Dad's not particularly keen with my choice of apparel).

On the way back, I sat next to an older woman, 52, who worked as a social clinition for the US Army. She helps soldiers returning from Iraq deal with the stress of war and their issues, which can be of considerable burden to young men and women.

As a lay counselor with a local church, I talked with her about some of the issues. The discussion was good for a while, then turned to "deviant behavior." At the time I was was wearing jeans and the Vanelli boots. Because they were hidden beneath my jeans, I'm not sure why she steered the conversation that way. I suspect it was because of the disproportionately high number of people she's seen (so she says) who have earring holes, and that, in her opinion, how non-conformist behavior can lead to isolation and increased stress.

So, I challenged her, asking her if she's seen this rise in earring holes only in the last ten years, and she confirmed it. Naturally, this matches the rise in earring wear by men in general, which I pointed out to her. She switched to tatoos as a form of aberrent behavior, to which I suggested she rent some war films from the 1930's through the 1950's, which clearly depict WWI and WWII soldiers and sailors wearing a plethora of tatoos. Then she mentioned necklaces and rings, to which I countered that both are worn by men throughout nearly all races, countries, and civilizations throughout the world. Before she mentioned heels, I said there's perhaps two items of appearal which are exclusive to women or men. When she said, "Ok, what?" I replied, "a bra, and a jock strap," adding, "everything else has been worn by both sexes on a regular basis throughout time.

When she said, "Oh, yeah? What about men who wear heels?" I knew I had her, and instead of arguing for high heels, I simply asked her why she though heels were restricted to wear by women. She gave me several reasons, none of which held water, so I asked her if she liked John Travolta as an actor. She said, "of course," so I asked if she knew the height of the heel Travolta wore during Saturday Night Fever. She said, "I know where you're going with this," and countered by saying, "Ok - where am I going with this?" She couldn't tell me, so I asked her, "Why did Travolta wear heels during that movie?"

She responded by saying that Hollywood is always out to set trends, to which I replied, "but Saturday Nigh Fever (SNF) came at the end of the age of disco, not at the beginning. Besides, take a look at this," and I handed her a copy of the LA Times article on men wearing heels, and pointed out the fact that it came out a few years before SNF.

She looked confused, so I pressed my advantage, and asked, "do you know who invented heels, and why," to which she replied she didn't, so I gave her a brief synopsis of heeling history from 1500 through the French Revolution.

She said she hadn't know all of that, but then reattacked with the comment, "but that was then. Today, when a man wears heels, it's a fetish!"

I asked her, "as in transvestic fetishism?"

"Exactly!" was her reply.

So I asked her, "Well how can it be a fetish if there's no paraphilia involved?"

"What do you mean?" she countered.

"The definition of fetish requires paraphilia. If there's no paraphilia, it's not a fetish. Do you disagree? This is straight out of the DSM-IV..."

She agreed that fetish requires paraphilia, so I asked her why she thought men wearing heels was travestic in nature when men had worn heels throughout 300 of the last 500 years, popularly in the 1970s, and to a lesser extent, continuing to this day?

She conceeded that if men wore heels regularly, then it wouldn't be transvetism, but argued that men don't wear heels as fashion these days.

"Oh, no?" I said, and pulled up my pant leg to show her my Vanelli boots.

Her jaw dropped, then she said, "Are you some kind of pervert?" to which I replied, "not in the least!" and added, "Are you narrow-minded?"

No one, of course, likes to think they're narrow-minded, so she immediately said "of course not!" to which I replied, "glad to hear it! It's nice to have these conversations with those who can be objective!"

Naturally, this set the tone for the remainder of the conversation.

"So let's get back to earrings on men. If male idols such as football, basketball, and musicians are wearing earrings, and men are responding by doing the same, what, if anything, makes their wearing earrings transvestic in nature?"

She couldn't think of anything other than the fact that men have not traditionally worn earrings, to which I replied, "rubbish! There are Bible verses which mention men wearing earrings.

She reiterated that there was something wrong with men who wore skirts or heels, though, as "these are reserved for women."

"Much as pants were reserved for men just 50 years ago?" I asked, begging the question.

"Fashion changes, and people respond in one of two ways. They either adopt/accept it, or they rail against it, abusing disciplines such as psychology as a means to denounce it by mislabeling it as "deviant behavior."

"I'm not saying it's deviant," she replied.

"Then you're saying it's normal?" I asked.

"Well, no," was her answer.

"Then you're saying it's deviant. Remember than 'normal' and 'deviant' are statistical terms. If a behavior falls within a certain arbitrary range around the mean, it's said to be "normal," while if it falls outside that range it's said to 'deviate from the norm.' The question isn't whether it falls into one category or the other, but rather, who defines the boundaries between the categories, and why."

She looked stunned, so I continued: "For me, wearing heels is not a fetish, as there's no paraphilia involved. Nor is it transvestic in nature, as I'm not attempting to dress as a woman, and certainly not attempting to pass as one. I simply enjoy wearing heels."

At this, she relapsed into her counselor mode, and asked, "And why is it you enjoy wearing heels?"

I replied, "Why is it both men and women enjoy watching a beautiful sunset or attending a fine ballet? Why was Cirque de Soleil one of Vegas' most profitable attractions? Why did men throughout the entire Earth wear skirted garments until the last 200 to 300 years? Why do a third of all men on the planet still wear skirted garments? Why do women wear pants and cut their hair short (while pointing to a woman four rows up with a buzz cut)? Why do men wear jewelry? Why does anyone wear anything?"

She didn't know what to say, so I added, "men who wear skirts, heels, earrings, etc., aren't doing so because they're transvestites, fetishists, or trying to attract attention. They do so because that's what they choose to wear. It's no different than your dicision to wear that bracelet, that ring, or those earrings. Are you trying to attract attention, or are you simply enjoying wearing that jewelry more than not wearing it?"

Another thoughtful pause...

"It's the same with my wearing heels," I continued, briefly showing her my heels. "If I were trying to attract attention, I'd be wearing glitter boots beneath a miniskirt. As it is, I'm wearing black suede heels beneath very long pants. If the discussion hadn't veered towards this topic, you'd never have known I was wearing heels, would you?"

"Probably not," was her only reply.

I asked her, "Would you agree that stereotypes about politics, religion, and race abound throughout society, and that these stereotypes are responsible for much of the conflict among today's society?"

When she gave her emphatic "yes!," I appealed to her sense of reason, asking, "Then would you agree that none of us are without any such bias, or that certain disciplines are immune to such bias?"

"I think everyone and everything is subject to some bias," she said.

"Then it's conceivable that the psychological community also has biases?"

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," she replied. "We do all kinds of double-blind testing to remove such bias."

"Then why would you automatically label a guy wearing heels as a transvestic fetishist?" I countered. "Since when did one's choice of fashion automatically translate into their trying to pass as a member of the opposite sex or have anything to do, at all, with fetishism?"

I'll give her this: She was open-minded enough to realize that her thoughts on the issue were little more than pre-conceived opinions commonly shared by those within the psychological community. While she wouldn't budge on the "earrings are a guy's way of attracting attention" issue, she and I spoke at length throughout the remainder of the flight about DSM issues relating to gender.

Interestingly, both of us were surprised that as a PhD of the community, she was unaware of the role played by environmental toxins in a person's gender identity, and fortunately, an article in the in-flight magazine mentioned this very thing, which, when I pointed it out a couple hours later, gave me some substantial credibility in her eyes.

All in all, it was a good flight, but it underscored the fact that even the mentally adept, those who can make the transition from psychology's equivalent of old wive's tales to reality are often hampered by their lack of exposure to various routine and common behaviors practiced by society, or the fact that societal "norms" are constantly changing, and have been throughout history.

When I got off the plane in Denver, the temp was well below zero and the wind was whipping (around 20 to 30 mph).

I had a long walk to my car, so I put on my hat, gloves, and jacket, and began the hike. A few minutes later, my legs were freezing, so I pulled my skirt out of my luggage and put it on over my pants to keep my legs warm. I passed by several people, but received only one notice, as the rest were too busy keeping warm.

Having travelled for nearly 20 hours, I spent the night at a hotel before heading home, going out for a couple drinks before bedtime. Without thinking, I pulled up, locked my car door, and was walking into the bar/restuarant before I realized I still had my jeans skirt on over my pants. I turned back to the car before muttering, "whatever," and moved on, settling into a seat at the bar.

By the time my dinner arrived the place was quite full, and a decent looking woman and her friend sat next to me at the bar. Surprisingly, despite the darkened conditions, she noticed my skirt and heels right off and asked me about them. "I put on the skirt because of the wind - I had a long walk from the airport to my car and my legs were freezing. As for the heels, well, I just enjoy wearing heels."

"I do too, " she said, showing me her pointy-toe stiletto boots. "But why're you still wearing the skirt?"

"Well, I like wearing skirts around the house - they're comfortable - and I just forgot to take it off!" We laughed and she mentioned that her boyfriend wore her skirts on occasion before changing the subject. She and her friend soon moved to a recently vacated table, so I finished my drink and headed to the hotel for a hot-tub and a couple hours reading the latests Clive Cussler novel.

[Elegant]

You hit the nail SQUARELY on the head with her. It was an excellent discussion- I wish I had the ability to respond so quickly and precisely!

[-dp-]

that was a great conversation with that woman... are you a lawyer?

[dr1819]

that was a great conversation with that woman... are you a lawyer?

No, but I've a degree in business law (among other things). It comes through at times, doesn't it?

I've though about going into law. I think I would be very good at it, except for the fact that I can't stand ridiculously outrageous judicial decisions, which, unfortunately, appear to be the norm, rather than the exception.

When the local, federal, and state judges start pulling their heads out of there you know what's, and stop handing down "fair" but patently dishonest and biased decisions, I'll gladly hang up my commentators' hat.

Until then, the judges will be judged upon how they adjudicate the matters within their jurisdiction. Some judges will excell, and others will clearly evidence their own lack of qualifications by falling face-down on the job.

Put simply, no one's work is exempt from the public eye. If the judges don't have it, it'll soon come to light! If they do, then there's nothing to fear.

[Dawn HH]

Dr1819:-) A great discussion that you had on your air flight with that woman. You handled the situation with great aplomb. Cudos. And yes, your education DOES show through. It usually does during long educatonal discussions. And I'm sure that it also helped to pass the time of a very long flight. I too am a fan and fond of reading the novels and non-fiction done by Clive Cussler. I think he is "tops" as a writer and makes for very interesting reading as your story did on your flight. I have about a fourth of what he has written and I'm always on the outlook for more. I get mine at "Half-Priced Books" and have been able to find both the hard-backed and soft-backed books there at a very reasonable price. His outstanding old car collection is fantastic and quite rare and appeals to the old car nut in me. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[dr1819]

And wouldn't it look nice, DawnHH, for him to drive up in one of his monstrous beasts and step out wearing a pair of three inchers which match whatever outfit he's wearing? I'm not "into" Cussler that way, if you get my drift. I'd simply like it if someone with some pull in Hollywood (other than Jason Ritter) were to show up one day wearing heels (and not stupid blue pumps, like Jason did). There's been a few, but it's been seldom and few between, and often probably advised by their agents not to do that again if they knew what was good for their career. Sad!