Ruby Slipper Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Hi. I know this section is for guys but I hope you can give me some insite. My boyfriend of over a year secretly buys and sells woman shoes on ebay. I didnt quite understand what it was about. They were never in my size. Then I saw when he was selling a pair I could tell it was him wearing them with stockings. I was alittle shocked. Not grossed out or anything. Just curious. I dont know anything about this stuff. I tried asking him about it but it is very akward for both of us. I mentioned at one point that I knew he was buying womans shoes that were not in my size and asked him if he were cheating on me. He got a little hot but kept his cool and insisted he wasnt cheating on me (I knew this) but wouldnt come out and answer why he was buying these shoes. Finally all he could say was, "It's nothing you have to worry about." I believe him. I just want to know more. Why? How long? What does it mean? I'm very curious and want to understand. Can you guys give me some insight and advice. I feel he is keeping something serious from me. Should I know about this? Should he tell me? How are we to have a future together if he can not be honest with me. I've been searching for anything online to help me understand. I found this site and it's been great reading your post and seeing he is not a freak or gay. Please understand, I do not want to offend. I love him and want us to trust in each other completely. I never thought it was odd he like going shoe shopping with me or buying me shoes...I just thought this was a bonus for me Sorry this was so long. Thanks, for listening. Ruby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new_look Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 hi ruby it can be very difficult for him to admit that he likes wearing womens shoes. some of us are open about it from the start and let peole accept them with heels as they come. others like myself, when i got the girl of my dreams, i didnt wanna lose her by telling her something I thought could potentially wreck the relationship permenantly. Therefore i tried in hint fashion to get her opinion on men that wore things that are different. cutting a long story short she is sort of ok with it at the minute. However she started to suspect things before i told her and said similar things to me that you are saying to your boyfriend now. Mens shoes are boring, flat and uninteresting, whereas womens give you a choice of elevation, boots, sandals etc, in every colour and heel style and height, not to mention that they are fun to wear, look fantastic and make you feel great. Im sure as a girl you can agree with that statement so the fact that your boyfriend wants to wear heels is probably based on one of those reasons and it is certaily a common thing as seen on this site alone. Heels are probably the most common fetish. Its probably that even though he known you know, he darent tell you in case you wont like it and will leave him. The best thing you can do (if you are ok with it yourself) is next time you say, i know that was you on the picture etc, just let him know that its ok, and ud like to share it with him etc... some comforting words may work you wonders. newlook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockQueen Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 It's very likely he's just buying them to wear, seeing which ones he likes, and selling the rest. He may be nervous telling you about his wearing them, which is why he may be so secretive about it...he's trying really hard not to push you away or offend you. It's just my opinion though. If you happen to find any out and about, you might comment on them if you think they look nice, and see if he responds positively. It may take a little doing to draw him out in the open, but it's completely harmless, and as has been said many times around here....they're just shoes. They complement the wardrobe, and heck...they feel good! If you peruse around some of the pics posted here, you'll see many many examples of guys who look AWESOME in their heels. I have a feeling that once the "ice is broken" you may be in for many pleasant adventures ahead. Have fun! SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Slipper Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 Thank you both. The funny thing is, I think I'm cool with the shoe thing. I just want him to tell me about it. What do I do if I tell him I have an idea about what he is doing and he repeatedly denies it? I dont want him to freak and me drive him away. How long should I wait before I address the issue? I just want to reasure him that I absolutely adore him...I mean I want to have his babies for crying out loud! So this shoe thing shouldnt prevent him from living happily ever after with me This is all a very new experiece for me...the last thing I ever thought I would have to deal with in a relationship...and it seems like it could be harmless. He LOVES it when I dress up in heels and prance for him and I like to do it....makes me feel hot. He has great taste too! Anyone been approached by a gf or wife in a way they wish was different? Tips on how I should do it? I want to do this in the most kind and nonconfrontation way possible! Thank you! Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wineanddine Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Ruby Slipper: First of all, welcome to the site. There is a lot of good information here so surf around and read some of the threads that sound applicable. In particular read the posts from LE752. She wrote in with much the same situation as yourself and there is a lot of good advice in that thread. Keep us posted on your progress and take things slowly. You're not alone and neither is your boyfriend. Wineanddine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Maybe you should leave a note for him telling him what you told us. This will allow him to see your true feelings without putting him into a position where he feels uncomfortable to talk about it with you. If he knows you're okay with it, he'll probably open up and be willing to talk about it. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LE752 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Ruby...I'm with you! I had/have those same fear that he will freak out when I tell him what I know. Now that we have decided to get married, I think it will be best for me to wait until after the wedding to do it. Sure, he could still freak out, but I hope he will realize that I love him for who he is and married him in spite of the shoes he likes to wear (although some of the ones he seems interested are not my taste AT ALL ) In my opinion, i think you are lucky that you have at least brought it up. He may not be comfortable talking about it, but at least he knows you know SOMETHING. I'll make a comment about shoes on guys (like Eddie Izzard, who I think is awesome) or on some random transvestite. He'll say something like "yeah, they'd look nice on a WOMAN." He's trying too hard to hide it. I wish he didn't have to. Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmc Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Ruby -- Le752 knows what she's talking about. She started a very lively and interesting discussion thread last spring, she was facing virtually the same situation as you. Her thread was accidentally deleted during an aggressive spam cleanup session but the majority of it was reconstructed shortly thereafter. The discussion is available here: http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=5928. It's well worth a read. Have a happy time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnieheel Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Hi ruby, I just joined today. Maby this will help.http://www.passionsforfootwear.com/psychology.htm real men wear heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Hi, Ruby, You could sortof drop him in at the deep end and say that you've found this cool website www.hhplace.org HEH HEH ! Best wishes, Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrimper Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Or you could tell us his ebay name (no, that would be outing him). javascript:emoticon(':)') javascript:emoticon(':)') Another approach could be to buy him a pair of shoes and ask him to model them for you. When he does be SURE to show him your appreciation. If that doesn't break the ice nothing will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeiee Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Hello Ruby!! Welcome to the forums!! To Ruby and LE (Some of it at least :-) ) Another suggestions...While you're wearing your heels and prancing for him, tell him you'd like HIM to prance around for you a little bit in heels as well!! I believe guys in general are scared to death to tell their GF/Wife about their thing for heels because society has deemed it 'not macho' and it causes doubt about one's sexuality due to the constant gay statements which commonly go along with a guy wearing/doing anything feminine. It's a real ego crusher for some to have to admit they enjoy something like heels or skirts. I know it was VERY confusing for me when I started wearing heels. My thoughts were "I'm really weird" and "Why do I love these things so much!!" I went through a cross-dressing phase in an effort to make myself look like one who wears heels but found it's not me at all!! (I make a REAL ugly woman!!) Through hhplace.org, this board's predecessor, Jenny's HH Page, and my wife's acceptance and even encouragement, I have become rather comfortable with myself in heels. He's probably experiencing many of the same thoughts and questions himself and needs the encouragement to be honest about his desires, both with himself and you. I would NOT wait until marriage to let him know you know though. Don't let him hold a secret this big until a commitment!! I told my wife about my thing for heels right up front. Even before we actually met!! (We chatted online quite a bit before meeting...) He will probably think you're lying when you first tell him you're OK with it. Time will correct that thought process though :-) Reinforce that you love him for who HE IS and that heels are part of HIM. If you're really cool with it, encourage him to be a free thinker and wear them out and about!! Regardless how much you tell him it's not that weird, it will take external reinforcement. Introduce him to HHPlace.org. Show him some of the posts here from the guys who have been where he is now. Go shoe shopping together and tell him which styles would look good on him! (That REALLY does help!!) Another idea is get him in an intimate setting and present him with a pair of heels 'for the event' and tell him they turn you on when he wears them!! (Be HONEST though...If it doesn't turn you on, don't lie!!!) One of the sexiest things is two pair of thigh high boots rubbing together in bed!! Or you can start with stockings...Those rubbing together can be very erotic as well!! I hope this helps as I understand what is probably going on inside his head through all this. Even though he says it's nothing for you to worry about it really is. This can lead to extreme frustration in a relationship for some people, even ending it for many. See other's posts here for more on that topic. And he will try to hide it until the cows come home if you let him. Get it out in the open and support him all the way through it and he will love you forever!! I wish you both the best in your relationships and hope they can come to grips with these desires. Heppy Heeling!! Shoeiee "Heels aren't just for women anymore!!" Happy Heeling! Shoeiee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeMannWorld Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Hey Ruby Like 1 have sayed before here: "Mens shoes are boring, flat and uninteresting, whereas womens give you a choice of elevation, boots, sandals etc, in every colour and heel style and height, not to mention that they are fun to wear, look fantastic and make you feel great. Im sure as a girl you can agree with that statement so the fact that your boyfriend wants to wear heels is probably based on one of those reasons and it is certaily a common thing as seen on this site alone." Well If u are oki whit he has a ide/lust for anotter type of Normal shoes then i whold loved my GF (I single ATM) hade take me out and found a pair off womans shoes, and sayed to try this on i think it will look cool on u! Help him find some thing that u both can acc. and merby he will open op a littel if thats is what he like to wher! Well i can say if u not have i cler before u getting married IT can get u hole life i mass belive i telling becorues i have bin ther... and Lost 2 good wommas i me life, but hell it´s not me ther have the big problem whit it (the World) So be open about it find some nice and let him be ho he is! Like menny ind here, it´s not a fitch, it´s just becurce i hade that menn can´t DO ENY THING out off the normal, like wommans can. If the do it the get deskrimatet about it... Like to day i hade a pair ogg Red (sorry can´t find the word for it) Rainboots on to work ( Rainy day ) and all my colegs mads a comment WHY.... Dame borring i can get a pair off darkgreen ore blue... hmmmm it´s just a shoe.... (AND i don´t whont to be a Gals) So i like to say if u are OK whit him whering "Womas" shoes take a littel step at a time and let him no u have a desier to help him fing some ther look cool on him! Btw wellcome to the Sith! PS: I have to give u some +++++ for not benging Close about the free fasion some off us have! ((( Frist i am not good to spell ))) ..........(((( Sorry for that ))))........ .......................(",)....................... http://s112.photobucket.com/albums/n161/FreeMannWorld/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Slipper Posted August 12, 2006 Author Share Posted August 12, 2006 This has already been a big help. I'm headed to his place for the weekend and I'm going to pay closer attention to things. Just reading what everyone has to say has put me at ease and given me some understanding. Le752! Wow!! I read your first post of your old thread and you and I could have lived the exact experience!!! I feel such relief that I'm not the only one to discover the shoe thing. He was using my computer to look at size 11 shoes on ebay and he sells and buys tons on ebay. He even once bought me a pair of shoes that didnt fit and "returned" them (resold them on ebay) I saw them sell (without him knowing) and a week later he sold the exact same pair in a different size (his) He bought us the same pair of shoes! It made me giggle. I wasnt mad or freaked. I agree with Johnieheel about not waiting until marriage is approached be bring up his secret. If he ever asks me I've already thought that if the subject hadnt been brough up yet that that would have to be the time. I've always thought he would ask me to marry him but now I'm not sure. I cant imagine hidding something for so long and then bringing a person into your life and living space and trying to keep up the sexy heel wearing or giving it up or just out of the blue telling the other person. I'm afraid I will lose him if I push the topic. I'm guessing he must feel shame or guilt for liking to wear womans articles...the way society is. I'm going to watch, listen and feel out the situation a little bit longer before I do anything. And I'm going to read, read and read some more of the post here and the great link that was provided...passionforfootwear. I feel the more knowledge I have the easier it will be to say, "tell me about your ladies shoes." I'm just so curious!! Oh, and he has mentioned me wearing stockings before because the feel soooooo good to touch. Just last week he had me dress up in stockings and 4 inch patten leather peek-a-boo heels. Sometimes when he gets me all dressed up I wonder if its me thats getting him going or the shoes and stockings? I dont want to feel like an object, you know? I wont be back until Monday. I very well can't check the hhplace at his house...or should I...I'll save that for a future visit! This has been so positive and really made my day! Have a great weekend everyone! Thanks so much! Ruby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Slipper Posted August 12, 2006 Author Share Posted August 12, 2006 Oh!! We are going shopping tomorrow. Shoes are on the list so maybe something will happen there! I must admit he is the best person to go shopping with...better than ANY of my girlfriends! He knows exactly what I'm looking for and what looks good. He's looking for shoes too...men sneakers but I bet we'll spend more time looking at shoes for me! Bye! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeMannWorld Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 I'm just so curious!! Oh, and he has mentioned me wearing stockings before because the feel soooooo good to touch. Just last week he had me dress up in stockings and 4 inch patten leather peek-a-boo heels. Sometimes when he gets me all dressed up I wonder if its me thats getting him going or the shoes and stockings? I dont want to feel like an object, you know? U are defanaly not a Object.... I get turn op (RELLY TURN) if i am ind bed whit a womman i Nylons and heels YES SIR.... But it not the stuff on he but it dame Sexy.... But i can´t do it whit evy botty i have to like the gal! So i will say it´s the momment you/he is ind thats makes the exsitment! (Just a little note i do not get horrny by whering "wommans" stuff) Well it´s me! ((( Frist i am not good to spell ))) ..........(((( Sorry for that ))))........ .......................(",)....................... http://s112.photobucket.com/albums/n161/FreeMannWorld/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmc Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Or you could tell us his ebay name (no, that would be outing him) . . . . But I am certain many of us would watch his auctions closely! His user-id would end up in more than a few "favorite seller" lists . . . what's good for business is not all bad after all . Have a happy time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loswabs Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Hi Ruby From a personal view, I've hidden my shoe wearing fetish for 25 years or more because I've never had the courage or confidence in myself to tell anyone that I love shopping for and wearing high heels. As someone who is a depressive anyway, this doesn't help my state of mind and can be very stressful. There's no point me trying to give up wearing high heels as I really enjoy the "release" when I do get to wear them. However I live in fear of being caught out, but then lots of times wish I would be. Then at least I'd be half way to knowing my wife's reaction. I'm telling you this because maybe your man feels like me? Maybe he wants to share this with you but is just too damned scared? Every time my wife and I have gone out recently if the opportunity has arisen I've said that women make too big a deal out of wearing high heels and it can't be that difficult. I'm hoping my wife (or someone else for that matter while she with me) dares me to wear a pair. If my wife asked me to wear heels I'd be delighted and would be in a pair like a shot. Maybe you could reverse that scenario and wear heels for him and after a few hours complain a little that your feet hurt and he should try wearing heels. Sorry if I'm not that coherent, but I hope for you both this ends up well. It's my opinion, no more, no less Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micha Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 This has already been a big help. I'm headed to his place for the weekend and I'm going to pay closer attention to things. Just reading what everyone has to say has put me at ease and given me some understanding. Le752! Wow!! I read your first post of your old thread and you and I could have lived the exact experience!!! I feel such relief that I'm not the only one to discover the shoe thing. He was using my computer to look at size 11 shoes on ebay and he sells and buys tons on ebay. He even once bought me a pair of shoes that didnt fit and "returned" them (resold them on ebay) I saw them sell (without him knowing) and a week later he sold the exact same pair in a different size (his) He bought us the same pair of shoes! It made me giggle. I wasnt mad or freaked. I agree with Johnieheel about not waiting until marriage is approached be bring up his secret. If he ever asks me I've already thought that if the subject hadnt been brough up yet that that would have to be the time. I've always thought he would ask me to marry him but now I'm not sure. I cant imagine hidding something for so long and then bringing a person into your life and living space and trying to keep up the sexy heel wearing or giving it up or just out of the blue telling the other person. I'm afraid I will lose him if I push the topic. I'm guessing he must feel shame or guilt for liking to wear womans articles...the way society is. I'm going to watch, listen and feel out the situation a little bit longer before I do anything. And I'm going to read, read and read some more of the post here and the great link that was provided...passionforfootwear. I feel the more knowledge I have the easier it will be to say, "tell me about your ladies shoes." I'm just so curious!! Oh, and he has mentioned me wearing stockings before because the feel soooooo good to touch. Just last week he had me dress up in stockings and 4 inch patten leather peek-a-boo heels. Sometimes when he gets me all dressed up I wonder if its me thats getting him going or the shoes and stockings? I dont want to feel like an object, you know? I wont be back until Monday. I very well can't check the hhplace at his house...or should I...I'll save that for a future visit! This has been so positive and really made my day! Have a great weekend everyone! Thanks so much! Ruby Hi Ruby, I'm convinced that you know his most beloved style and his shoe size. Buy his style at Ebay or in an internet shop and put them as present on the table at his birthday. And ask him for a common disco night on high heels. I'm sure that he will not deny. Much more he will be endless happy to have found a girl sharing his secrete passion! The best fashion is your own fashion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobHH Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 loswabs: That happened with me. While taking a fairly long walk at a resort, I commented that my wife didn't wear heels like she used to for walking long distances. She said they weren't comfortable, and she would like to see me try it - she would be carrying me back. It took a little while for me to open up about high heels, but we did take the walk one night with me in platform stilettos. No problem, no discomfort. She didn't say much, and I didn't ask, unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr1819 Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Hi, Ruby! Welcome to the sight. It's fairly simple - most boys have worn their mother's heels at one point or another. Most outgrow the desire. Some don't. Psychologists are moving away from considering pure heel wear as "cross-dressing," as women moved 100% away from skirts and dresses to pants (previously only worn by men) without anyone labeling them either transvestites or cross-dressers. Many men now wear earrings, previously the exclusive realm of women, and have avoided the CD/TV label. More than two-thirds of all men have worn high heels at some point in their lives. More than a third have worn them on several occasions. Approximately ten percent have worn heels on a regular basis, yet less than half of one percent actually wear heels regularly in public. I guarantee you, thought, that if heels were offered in more masculine styles and were worn by men regularly, at least a third of all men would, given the stats above. Why? The members here have posted several reasons, including the fact that they like the style, they like the feel of wearing heels, they like the way they feel themselves while wearing heels, it helps out with some ankle problems, they feel sexier in heels, and they simply like the look. Most of the men here on this site are heterosexual males. This weekend, there was a heel meet in Amsterdam, where perhaps a dozen members gathered for a good time, good food, good spirits, and some sightseeing. The previous heelmeet was in London, which was attended by around fifteen (if I'm not mistaken), and some wives and girlfriends. Some men wear MUGs (kilts, skirts, sarongs, etc.): http://www.kiltmen.com/world.htm Some men wear heels. I like 'em both, but wear one or the other at the local watering holes. At home, however, I'm usually in a skirt as it's very comfortable (breaths, not confining), and heels (just because I enjoy wearing them). I wouldn't sweat it. In fact, if you come to terms with his wearing heels, be sure to let him know, as most guys are afraid to let their girlfriends/wives know because they think they'll bail on them. Some would, but most aren't so narrow-minded and choose to stay. I hope you're among the latter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy N. Heels Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Hi Ruby, and welcome to our high heeled forum. I think you already have a wealth of information for your question, especially from what Shoeiee had to say, but I'd like to add my 2 cent's worth anyway. ...Another suggestions...While you're wearing your heels and prancing for him, tell him you'd like HIM to prance around for you a little bit in heels as well!! I believe guys in general are scared to death to tell their GF/Wife about their thing for heels because society has deemed it 'not macho' and it causes doubt about one's sexuality due to the constant gay statements which commonly go along with a guy wearing/doing anything feminine. It's a real ego crusher for some to have to admit they enjoy something like heels or skirts. I know it was VERY confusing for me when I started wearing heels. My thoughts were "I'm really weird" and "Why do I love these things so much!!" I went through a cross-dressing phase in an effort to make myself look like one who wears heels but found it's not me at all!! (I make a REAL ugly woman!!) Through hhplace.org, this board's predecessor, Jenny's HH Page, and my wife's acceptance and even encouragement, I have become rather comfortable with myself in heels. He's probably experiencing many of the same thoughts and questions himself and needs the encouragement to be honest about his desires, both with himself and you. I would NOT wait until marriage to let him know you know though. Don't let him hold a secret this big until a commitment!! I told my wife about my thing for heels right up front. Even before we actually met!! (We chatted online quite a bit before meeting...) He will probably think you're lying when you first tell him you're OK with it. Time will correct that thought process though :-) Reinforce that you love him for who HE IS and that heels are part of HIM. If you're really cool with it, encourage him to be a free thinker and wear them out and about!! Regardless how much you tell him it's not that weird, it will take external reinforcement. Introduce him to HHPlace.org. Show him some of the posts here from the guys who have been where he is now. Go shoe shopping together and tell him which styles would look good on him! (That REALLY does help!!) Another idea is get him in an intimate setting and present him with a pair of heels 'for the event' and tell him they turn you on when he wears them!! (Be HONEST though...If it doesn't turn you on, don't lie!!!) One of the sexiest things is two pair of thigh high boots rubbing together in bed!! Or you can start with stockings...Those rubbing together can be very erotic as well!! I hope this helps as I understand what is probably going on inside his head through all this. Even though he says it's nothing for you to worry about it really is. This can lead to extreme frustration in a relationship for some people, even ending it for many. See other's posts here for more on that topic... Get it out in the open and support him all the way through it and he will love you forever!! If you don't already know it, the most vulnerable part of your man is his ego. He will do anything to protect it and avoid all possibility of getting it damaged through some form of rejection. This is especially true of a man who shows his sensitivity through art or fashion. This is where the savvy gal knows how to bolster her man and encourage him.The mere fact that he likes High Heels shows that he is not a Neanderthal. So you should NEVER ever reject him or put him down, even if you don't like something he's doing. You should instead, offer him other choices. I think offering him a choice of wearing heels out in public (going to a restaurant or club) might be a good idea. Also, you might go shopping out in public with him and suggest that he buy heels in his size. Another novel approach is suggesting matching his & her's heels that you could wear together. Whatever you do, first be very sure you are okay with him wearing heels, and then be sure you let him know that. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwl1 Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Ruby, You mentioned nylon stockings before. You might introduce your bf to the following site: www.comfilon.com They sell men's legwear - tights, pantyhose, stockings and socks. It's all good quality stuff, made for men's dimensions and anatomy, and more durable than women's hose. He will enjoy it, I'm sure. Like earrings, men are wearing nylon hose more these days, too, and doing it publically. There is a web forum similar to this one that you should visit: http://forums.delphiforums.com/legwearuf It's called Legwear as Unisex Fashion, and its purpose is to promote hosiery wearing for both genders as acceptable. Check it out. The same fears and concerns you see here are also expressed there. If I may make another comment, it seems to me that the basic problem between you and your bf is communication, or lack of it. Neither of you wants to let on that you know more than you do for fear of ruining the relationship. My advice would be for you to put all your cards out on the table first. Buy your bf a pair of heels he will like, and give them to him as a present. Tell him you want him to wear them. Give him the message that it's ok with you. He'll eventually "get it". Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris100575 Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Without wanting to split hairs, unless you actually do *want* your BF to wear heels for you, I'd refrain from telling him that because it's not being completely honest. Best to stick to letting him know that you accept this facet of his personality, and that you love and support him. I don't know you or your boyfriend, but speaking from my own experience if my wife had just told me sensitively that she'd guessed about my heels and that she was OK with it, I'd have been very happy. All the best, Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnieheel Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Hi Ruby, My girlfriend sent you a pm. How did the weekend go? Update please? real men wear heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr1819 Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 I second Chris' comments. Just as you would like him to be open, honest, and accepting of you, it's a reciprocal thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Slipper Posted August 19, 2006 Author Share Posted August 19, 2006 Hi All, Exactly what Chris said is what I want to do. I'm not sure if I want to see him in heels. I dont know if that would get me hot or not. But, I do want him to know I love and support him and accept all the facets of his personality...unless he tortures baby animals or something...that would be a problem. lol. I havent said anything yet. I just dont have the balls and I am so worried he will get defensive and shut me out...no matter how sensitive and understand I try to be. One day at a time I guess. The weekend was good. We went shoe shopping and he spent more time looking for me (we know differently) then himself. He really inspected some adorable Jessica Simpson-like platforms...I mean picking them up and looking at the construction and quality. He was looking for a pair of mens sneakers and could find anything. As we were looking at the womans sneaks we both saw a pair we liked. To me they looked pretty unisex. He said he liked them and wished they were mens. I right away said, who cares? Who will know? He said other girls. I looked at the sizes and they had his size. I asked him do you think you could wear an 11? Just try them on. No one would be able to tell they are girls. You really couldnt. I thought about going back and buying them like some of you guys suggested. I'm not sure if that would be pushing it. He didnt try them on. His loss I guess since he is the one desperate for new sneakers. This is something different but along the same lines. I mentioned before he likes stockings...so I took it a little further to see his reaction and to let him know I'm open minded to different things. I asked him to put on a pair of my silky jeweled thongs. I said I want to see what its like and see how he feels in them. He kind of laughed and said, wouldnt that freak and gross you out?? I told him I dont think so or I wouldnt be asking him to do it and it might really turn me on. We didnt get around to it last weekend but it has been brough up a few times this week and he is willing to do it. Is this a good sign to other things coming out? The more I think about it...yeah, I'd like to see his stuff in my thong. We shall see. Maybe I will grow a pair and just tell him I know he wears womans shoes and I love him and let me in. We can talk about anything...let's talk about this too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeiee Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Ruby, I hope you don't grow a pair!! But that would be awefully funny :-) On topic though...you bringing up the idea of him in stockings and him being fairly receptive is a real good sign for you!! I think you're taking the right path with this!! Get him in the stockings and have a pair of heels in his size nearby...Once he gets the stockings on get playful...even intimate...then if the feeling is right, say you'd like him to try something else...Blindfold him if he'll let you, pull out the shoes and put them on him. Just make sure you're wering some of your highest heels when all this transpires...You can then make the excuse you'd like him to experience the thrill and feeling of heels since he likes the stockings :-) (IF he likes the stocking that is...) IF he really does like to wear heels, you'll probably get a 'visible reaction' indicating the truth Keep us posted and good luck!! Shoeiee "Heels aren't just for women anymore!!" Happy Heeling! Shoeiee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr1819 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 It appears that as time progresses, things will progress naturally. It wouldn't force the issue, but I don't think it would hurt to tell him that you love him and are committed to him, before mentioning again that you're very open-minded about things, and that if he would ever want to wear any of your stuff, you wouldn't mind, and you would actually go along with it. Or you might just say, "I know you like wearing heels and hose. No big deal - I'm ok with that. Wanna go out to eat tonight, or stay in?" In other words, very briefly reffirm your acceptance of him, the fact that you know, and change the subject. If he denies it, just say, "Ok... So - where do you want to eat tonight - in or out?" Once it's out there, he'll finally realize he's not going to risk loosing you by telling you more about his "secret," and it will pave the way towards more openness about it. After a while, he'll be comfortable enough to wear them in front of you, so long as your reaction is short, sweet, and accepting, like, "You look good in them. What's for breakfast?" In other words, "no big deal." If, on the other hand, your raise the subject and he remains in staunch denial, or tries convincing you that he's not into stuff like that, there may be bigger issues of which heels/hose are only the symptom. Again, just respond, "Ok. So you're not into heels. What's for breakfast?" Judging from his responses, it appears he's simply suffering from a case of "society-itis," afraid that you'll think what most of society thinks. Personally, I believe this is the single-most reason why half the planet only wears flats. I think that if it were socially acceptable, about a third of all men would be in heels - not necessarily a jeweled spaghetti-strap stiletto, but heels nonetheless. One thing you might consider - showing him this website, and telling him that lots of straight, heterosexual guys wear heels, and you're fine with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Ruby:-) Welcome to the Forum. You certainly are getting lots of support from the guys here. I don't think that I can contribute any more than the others have, but let it be known that you have my support here in your venture. Take things slow and possibly he may give you an opening in the near future that will give you the inside track to solve your problem. The best of luck and by all means---keep us posted on your progress. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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