chris100575 Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 As some of you might know, I'm in the process of buying my own house. It now looks as though my cousin might be moving in with me for an indefinite period until she sorts herself out somewhere permanent. The question is, should I tell her about my heels? I'm in two minds here. I don't want to freak her out, but by the same token I don't want to be in a position of having to hide them in my own house. The other consideration is that owing to the unorthodox layout, she'll have to go through my bedroom to get to the bath / shower. We've already agreed that this won't necessarily be a problem, as she can shower in the mornings after I'm up so I won't be in there, but it would make it harder to keep my heels from sight. My gut feeling is that she'd probably be OK, her sister probably being gay doesn't phase her and I think my preference for shoes is probably minor in comparison. The thing is I'm more like a big brother to her, and don't want to spoil that. Any suggestions? Chris
sscotty727 Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 Chris, Your going to have to judge for yourself since you know her best. However if it helps, I've known my wife (and therefore sister-in-law) for 20 years now. Since my sister-in-law is single and very close to my wife (she stays with us alot of weekends), she is very much like a sister to me too (she, like my wife isn't technology savy, so I handle all her computer stuff as well). Anyway, I told her a while ago and she is even more ok with it than my wife. Matter of fact, I always show her all the heels I get (sometimes before I even get them to ask her opinion) and have even helped her look for and buy heels online as well. Of course I have only ever shown her block heels and wedges so not sure how she would handle stilleto heels. But as far as the block/wedge heels goes, she agrees that men should be able to wear them and sees absolutely nothing wrong with them. I've even shown her some of the inserts I've done for my shoes and made her a few as well. Hope that helps. Good luck, Scotty
Thighboots2 Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Chris, IMHO, I would tell her. It isn't as big a problem as telling your wife, fiancee, partner. TB2 Are you confusing me with someone who gives a damn?
chris100575 Posted March 24, 2006 Author Posted March 24, 2006 Thanks for the responses guys. I am leaning more towards telling her, working on the assumption that if she's OK with it, all well and good. If not, at least she knows before she's living under my roof. It's probably a while off yet, but I've been worrying about it already. Chris
sscotty727 Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Chris, My recommendation would be to start off with something less feminine and more maculine like block heels. If she seems ok with that, you can slowly start revealing more feminine heels. If she freaks out over the block heels (which I highly doubt) you can just either say you were curious or they help your back or play it off somehow like that. Again, good luck! Scotty
BobHH Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Just tell and show her. No surprises later. It's worked fine with my last two girl friends.
heelsRus Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 You really need to think about this because while she may be cool with it (and you don't know this ahead of time), she may tell people who are either not cool with it and will try to embarrass you, or who are and will try to promote you to others you'd rather not know. Assume that anyone you tell will tell others. I was in a situation not completely dissimilar in that I was staying with a relative (younger) while working in another city. I had a choice of telling or not, and I chose not to. However, one night while she was away, or was supposed to be away, she came back. Not so bad since I was in my room, but the next morning I had the door open and I think she may have seen some things based on a comment or two later. No bad repercussions (yet), but .... It was also a fond wish that she'd be good with it and I could wear my stuff whenever I felt like it. Now that I'm home again, I do what I want - well, after the kids go to bed anyway.
Danielinheels Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 She's family. This should be fairly easy. I'd just tell her to not be alarmed when she sees a heel lying around that doesn't fit her. If they WOULD fit her, then that's all the better. Here's to the best... Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
Dawn HH Posted March 26, 2006 Posted March 26, 2006 After all, it is YOUR house. I would tell her. Let us know what happens. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
Shafted Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 I would tell her. It really shouldn't be any problem. It would be better than her finding out on her own anyway. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
RPMindy Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 Chris, this is a hard one. but can be done. sadly, don't know what to say that would make it easier, but sometimes the truth is much easier and filled with less surprises. If you hide it, it may come across as something you're ashamed of and think is bad and that you don't value your relationship with her highly enough to tell her. it's a weird mix.. i think. so, just calmly and normally bring it to her attention... like one person said.. just tell her not to be alarmed if she runs into shoes she knows aren't hers and that fit you. you're into heels but not in a weird way. then, go on her reactions. if you're as close as you say, she'll sort out her feelings about it. you know her better than us, so you'll know how she'll take it better than a 50/50 guess. good luck. it is after all your house too! RPM
pussyinboots Posted March 27, 2006 Posted March 27, 2006 At the end of the day - it's YOUR house - and what you do within the privacey of your own four walls is your business - and no-one else's. However - it would be a good idea to have a quiet word with your cousin - out of sheer courtesy. I can't see a problem though. She's family - and female - and you two seem pretty close judging by the way you are helping her out. In situations like these - we quite often find our own fears blowing the percieved outcome out of all proportion. The question you should really ask yourself is - " AM I comfortable wearing heels with others in the house?" My b/f was the same. His answer was - yes - I am comfortable. Which made it even easier for me to accept ( not that there was a problem in the first place). "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls just don't have the time...!:icon_twisted:"
chris100575 Posted April 1, 2006 Author Posted April 1, 2006 Thanks for all the help, I think I'm going to have to have a word with her before she moves in. The main consideration I think is that I don't want her finding a pair of heels in my size and making her own conclusions which might not be correct. As for the comfort factor, whether or not I wear them in front of her will probably depend on her reaction when I tell her. Other than posting the odd pic on here, wearing tights is something that's strictly private. In front of anyone else it'd be boots under jeans. Pussyinboots, you're probably right about my fears blowing it out of proportion. I did tell one of my male friends one night when we were both drunk, and his reaction was "so what?". BTW, I think I'm in love with the lady in your avatar! Chris
Dawn HH Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Chris100575:-) It sounds like good thinking to me. Keep us posted on what happens when you have your talk with her. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
chris100575 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Posted April 18, 2006 Hi all Well, after agonising about it I told her about my heels. She'd helped me move in and we were sat having a brew, when I told her that there was something she needed to know before she moved in. When I told her that I liked to wear high heels her exact reaction was "Is that it? You had me worried there for a bit!" We talked about it, and the upshot is that she's OK with me wearing them and quite enjoys having someone else she can enthuse about shoes with. As our feet are almost the same size, she's even suggested that we could borrow each other's heels when she moves in! I've worn my spiky New Rock boots around her a few times now, and despite me being nervous the first time, she's OK with it. Phew! Chris
Guest Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Chris, That's great to hear, I'm glad it's worked out ok for you. And you were so worried! And to top it all, she's a similar size? You couldn't be luckier, that's a great opportunity! Maybe you can get her to do some shoe modelling for pictures for the site? Bob.
heelsRus Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Hi all Well, after agonising about it I told her about my heels. She'd helped me move in and we were sat having a brew, when I told her that there was something she needed to know before she moved in. When I told her that I liked to wear high heels her exact reaction was "Is that it? You had me worried there for a bit!" We talked about it, and the upshot is that she's OK with me wearing them and quite enjoys having someone else she can enthuse about shoes with. As our feet are almost the same size, she's even suggested that we could borrow each other's heels when she moves in! I've worn my spiky New Rock boots around her a few times now, and despite me being nervous the first time, she's OK with it. Phew! Chris Awesome! That'll make life so much easier - and better. Well done.
pussyinboots Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 chris100575 Debbie's 6 inch Oxfords Joined: 13 Oct 2003 Posts: 1131 Location: High Peak, UK Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 9:23 pm Post subject: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi all Well, after agonising about it I told her about my heels. She'd helped me move in and we were sat having a brew, when I told her that there was something she needed to know before she moved in. When I told her that I liked to wear high heels her exact reaction was "Is that it? You had me worried there for a bit!" We talked about it, and the upshot is that she's OK with me wearing them and quite enjoys having someone else she can enthuse about shoes with. As our feet are almost the same size, she's even suggested that we could borrow each other's heels when she moves in! I've worn my spiky New Rock boots around her a few times now, and despite me being nervous the first time, she's OK with it. Phew! Chris I won't say "I told you so".......but (call it woman's intuition)..........."I told you so !!!!!!" NICE RESULT honey !! "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls just don't have the time...!:icon_twisted:"
chris100575 Posted April 19, 2006 Author Posted April 19, 2006 Her feet are slightly smaller than mine, but I managed to get into a pair of her stiletto boots the other night and they're a snug fit on her, so I don't think there's much it. Apparently she has around 30 pairs of shoes and boots, and most of them have heels. I'm looking forward to having a look through her collection and trying some of them out. I wouldn't ask her about modelling them though, might sound a bit weird coming from me what with being family. Pussy: This is one instance where "I told you so" is no bad thing! Thanks for all your input, I appreciate it. Chris
siksick6 Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 Congratulations, you will have to tell us about any nice styles of heels shes got, lucky you being nearly the same size shoe.
Danielinheels Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 Your collection just grew by one cousin. Bravo Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
RPMindy Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 congrats. it all worked out. when a woman knows who she's dealing with, things are a lot less complicated. you're family. so it's all good!!!! RPM p.s. can't use the 'i told you so' line.. PiB got there first
chris100575 Posted April 20, 2006 Author Posted April 20, 2006 I'm very happy with how it's worked out. Having spent several years hiding my heels in my own house with my wife, it's nice to just be able to wear whatever I want whenever. Getting to borrow my cousin's will just be a bonus! Chris
DeSalto Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 What a bonus! Glad for you, you will have a lot of fun being in heels in your home with your cousin. DeSalto No shoe is better than a sexy pair of stilettos!
Dawn HH Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 Glad to see that the pressure is off. You needn't have worried so much, although I understand why you did. Now, the both of you can have loads of fun together with your shoes and boots. Congrats to you both. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
chris100575 Posted April 26, 2006 Author Posted April 26, 2006 Even though she's not moved in yet we have been wearing each other's heels. It's great, she's viewing it as a kind of pooling of resources! We even seem to have quite similar taste. Chris
Dawn HH Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Sounds like you two are going to be VERY happy together. Congrats! Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
chris100575 Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 Now I just need to find a girlfriend who thinks like she does! Chris
dr1819 Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 My cousin's really weird, but it's never come between us. Cousins are like that. Just tell her.
sscotty727 Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Interestingly, since I have told my sister-in-law about wearing heels a few years ago, she and I have become almost shoe shopping buddies, looking online etc for heels. I show her what I buy and I've helped her find shoes, both online and in the store (see the Great Day Shopping thread). I've even shared some of my insert ideas with her and she has tried several herself:) Too bad she is my wife's size and not my size though;)
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