just discovered my boyfriend wears women's shoes...

[Danielinheels]

Remember to keep the following with you: Open mind Open eyes Open heart

[Dawn HH]

I agree with Scotty and Danielle. Let us all know the results when you present him with the shoes.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

le wrote

le752

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Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:57 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

I still haven't done anything, but decided I wasn't ready to give him the shoes. Instead, I decided to wear them over to his place and torment him!

He liked them, and we talked about them for a minute. I told him I bought 11's because the 10's didn't fit right, talked about wearing them over to his place so I could practice walking in them. He noticed that the soles weren't flexible (they're wooden platform thong/slides with 3 1/2 inch heels).

I think I'm just going to talk to him about it this weekend, then if all goes well, he can have the shoes if he likes them.

[Guest]

I still haven't done anything, but decided I wasn't ready to give him the shoes. Instead, I decided to wear them over to his place and torment him! He liked them, and we talked about them for a minute. I told him I bought 11's because the 10's didn't fit right, talked about wearing them over to his place so I could practice walking in them. He noticed that the soles weren't flexible (they're wooden platform thong/slides with 3 1/2 inch heels). I think I'm just going to talk to him about it this weekend, then if all goes well, he can have the shoes if he likes them.

[jim]

I haven't met you but I like you already and I hope you stop by often But then how could I not...there's nothing quite like a caring, open minded woman who has the courage to push boundaries... Your guy is fortunate to have you. jim

[Danielinheels]

I echo the sentiment above. I wish you all the best. We hope to have you here in the future.

[jmc]

I'm gonna lay a deep, dark secret on y'all here. I was married for a while (loved her more than life itself) and I was deathly afraid of letting her know about my desire to wear heels. So before I "popped the question" I purged my stock (all but a couple of pairs that I kept hidden away) then I wrapped my desires and stuffed them away in a little corner of my mind. But this desire will not stay locked away and once in a while I had to try my old friends on. I only did this if I knew she was going to be away for a while. I can say with certainty that she never knew. I can also say with certainty that knowing would have caused her some distress. We may have been able to work through it but I cannot be sure about that. I was hoping that I could focus on my love for her and that it would eventually eclipse my thoughts about heels. (She did not wear heels. She characterized 1-inchers as "heels".) For the most part, disregarding a couple of relapses, I was able to make this happen. I did love her so much that most of the time I did not need heels, I could substitute my desire for her. I cannot comment on the long-term viability of this approach because she died after we were together a little more than two years. She had some medical problems and they caught up with her. This all happened almost eight years ago and I still feel guilty that I held out on her, that she did not see this side of me. I can never know how it would have affected us. I have decided that if I am ever to get this intimate again, I am going to let her know. It is really simple -- if she cannot handle it then we have no future. I will need to bring the subject up fairly early in the relationship, before the commitment grows too deep. That way, if she cannot handle it then the pain of parting should be minimized. Based on all of this I think I can say that knowing you're OK with his wearing heels will most certainly set his mind at ease. But he needs to know where your limits are. You are part of this relationship too, let him know with what you are comfortable and where you draw the line. Maybe this can become part of the bond between the two of you. I would bet that between the two of you, you can figure out how to have fun with it. (And fundamentally, that is why I like heels -- they are fun to wear, fun to watch and they feel good.) I wish you both the best of luck.

[wineanddine]

Dear Le752: I would repeat Jim's comment, I think everybody here likes you. I can't remember the last time such comments generated this much openness and care. I have no idea what age you are but you show a great deal of maturity and I sense you're still young. I myself am 55 and have been married 17 years. It was longer than that ago that I started the heeling thing with my wife. She, like you, was very understanding and I think did a lot of reading and such on her own to conclude that it's just a fetish. We've always had a great relationship and that didn't change a bit. As a side note, there are almost endless possibilities of who wears or doesn't wear heels during sex and that part has only gotten better for us over the years. If you are having great sex now just wait until he gets comfortable wearing heels to bed... Good luck and as Dawn indicated please keep us apprised of how things are going. Wineanddine

[shyguy]

As someone who was on the other side of the fence, trying to let my wife know about my thing for womens shoes, I can understand all of your concerns about bringing it up. It could go either way. My advice would be Don't buy him shoes unless you're sure he is into wearing them, you're right it may freak him, it would have me, until we spoke about it.

le wrote

le752

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Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:11 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

I still haven't said anything. This is so hard! The last two nights in a row I have tried to start talking about it, but he's asleep well before I ever get the courage to bring it up.

I have a whole speech memorized but I just can't open my mouth. grr.

[Guest]

I still haven't said anything. This is so hard! The last two nights in a row I have tried to start talking about it, but he's asleep well before I ever get the courage to bring it up. I have a whole speech memorized but I just can't open my mouth. grr.

[since-i-can-rem]

Dear Le,

I think it`s not easy to talk about it.

I needed a long time to tell my GF that I like heels and that I like to wear heels myself.

Before I told her my little secret, i bought her lots of shoes because she`s crazy about shoes (like myself).

At first she said:" You can wear what you like when your at home..." and I thought it would be allright.

But still I feel uncomfortable to talk about it with her.

At the beginning of the year, she asked me, what we will wear on carnival but I allways put this away and said : I don`t know. At one evening she asked me, if I bought me some new shoes and I said no ( I lied) but told her, that I have sold some (truth). But then I turned to another topic. I think she felt that I don`t wanna talk about this. But I like. I can`t jump about my own shadow. Oh how I wish I can feel free to talk about shoes etc.

I still have a feel of guilt, like I do something wrong or bad, but what is ist? It´s only about shoes?

Ther are people in this world, who sell mens life, who kill etc... and no one cares, and everything I wanna to be is free...

I understand your feelings, because I know how it feels.

But my story goes farther.

On the carnival noon, we allready don`t know what to wear. O.K. I allready know what I wanted to wear, so I was brave enough to wear a black evening dress and showed her a pair of 4" block heeled sandals and a pair of 5" black leather pumps. She said the sandals, cause she means the pumps are to high (if she knows...) So I took them with me, but I wanted to put them later on.

I took them later on and she doesent recognize it ( or don`t want to) and on the way home she said: Oh you wear your heels, I don`t saw it. But plaese took them of, you look like a gay.

She was really shocked, and she told me the next ten minutes a few times that I looked gay.

That was very dissapointing for me, but I have to accept it.

So far, I have to find my way.

My advice for you:

Be very kind and very sensitive. I could be, that it is very awkward for him, like it still is to me.

But do it!

If my GF would buy me a pair of heels, I would be suprised to and I don`t know what to do, but if she would buy heels for me, it would be one of the biggest love proofs she could give to me!

Don`t tell him about the cache thing, in my humble opinion do it like sscotty said:

...some day have him rub your feet (and trust me, if he is anything like most guys in here, that will be a treat for him as well as you!), just say "you don't know what it is like wearing heels all day. I bet you couldn't last an hour in them" and then offer to let him wear yours as the bet.

Good luck!

[loswabs]

Hi LE I just read through this thread from the start and have to say you seem a really nice lady and genuinely interested in your man. The scenario you described when you were on the couch together I think will work, if you add that special ingredient called "alcohol"!!! I'm assuming you may drink the occasional glass of something, so have a couple, pretend you're a little more drunk than you really are and in the same set up, play with your shoe, and then slip it on to his foot. I'm sure you'll be able to make it a little less blunt than I have said, but I reckon you may get a result there. Another one is a fancy dress party or a trip to the Rocky Horror Show, and tell him he has to dress up!!!! One thing to consider, as a man who likes to wear high heels, have you considered he may prefer to keep this to himself? Try the shoe on him but if he reacts badly, don't push it. Good luck

[azraelle]

It has taken me many years to figure out why I wear women's shoes, and other clothing (basically everything except dresses and skirts), always "presenting" as a man (possibly with a strange fashion sense). I wear or am attracted to the wearing of fashions that I like to see women wear. I eventually came to the conclusioin that I am, in essence, "worshipping" femmininity, but have NO desire to be anything other than a very straight man. A reaction, probably, to a very domineering father. My 3 older brothers had their own methods of making their lives and behaviors "not like Dad's". My oldest brother was most successful, as he became the father to his kids that my dad was not. My second-oldest brother just refused to even speak to him for more than 10 years, and they never became close. He was mild and mellow, decided to teach english, about as far from what my dad taught (science) as he could get. My third eldest brother became the opposite of studious, but a mechanical and electrical whiz (which my dad was definitely not). I chose to react to anything that was "masculine", certain aspects of which my dad worshipped. He forced me to buy a pair of wing tip shoes when I was a teenager for church and dress-up occasions. I avoided them so much that they collected a layer of dust. "You're never undressed if you're wearing a tie". I sought for ways to avoid wearing a tie, such as wearing turtlenecks. "Always wear a belt". I got my mother to get me dress pants without belt loops. I took up hobbys that I knew annoyed him. I had very little interest in most sports, especially basketball and boxing (his favorites). Although I can remember back to at least the age of 4 having an interest in wearing certain girls' clothes (patent leather mary janes, underwear, and tights, but significantly NOT the dresses the girls my age were wearing), but I think that my continued interest was spurred by my need to be as different as possible from the bastard. I also find hi-heels to be therapeutic--I cannot drive long distances without extreme knee pain in my gas pedal knee, unless I am wearing a pair of heels, preferably with a 1" platform. Also, because of extreme overpronation, especially in left ankle, I often cannot walk in the morning without spending the first 1-2 hours wearing 3-4" heels. They "set" my ankle bones and ligaments in the proper alignment, so that I can wear more socially-acceptable arch-supported low heeled shoes reasonably well without too much pain for the rest of the day.

[Dawn HH]

I completely concur with what has been said here, especially from JMC and Wineanddine. Mickey goes along with me on all this and even to the point of buying me shoes and boots on many occasions. You are a wise girl in not buying him shoes until you both have discussed all of this to the satisfaction of all involved. We are very lucky here on the board to have a girl like you as a member here who is as savvy about men wearing heels as you are. Thank you just for being YOU. BTW---Mickey and I have been married now for 37 years. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[highHEELman]

752 You are on the cuspt of an ever lasting relationship. Your are a very rare and PRECIOUS lady. You have the control in your hands to make your man fell on top of the world and I promise he will bring you along for the journey. I am 56 and have been wearing Fine Feminine Footwear for 44 years and have always longed for a lady like you. Not to be saddened, my wife lets me wear what I want around the house and the car (within reason..No flashy red 4" strappy sandals for a long time). I have on Antonio Melani flats on right now and she likes them. All the advice on letting him in on his secrect is valid and I heartly recommend you put on a pair of HEELS while in bed, invite him to do the same. Begin by "touching".....ah I leave that up to you!! Good Luck and GREAT LOVE!! HHM

[highHEELman]

752

You are on the cuspt of an ever lasting relationship. Your are a very rare and PRECIOUS lady. You have the control in your hands to make your man fell on top of the world and I promise he will bring you along for the journey.

I am 56 and have been wearing Fine Feminine Footwear for 44 years and have always longed for a lady like you. Not to be saddened, my wife lets me wear what I want around the house and the car (within reason..No flashy red 4" strappy sandals for a long time). I have on Antonio Melani flats on right now and she likes them. All the advice on letting him in on his secrect is valid and I heartly recommend you put on a pair of HEELS while in bed, invite him to do the same. Begin by "touching".....ah.... I'll leave that up to you!!

Good Luck and GREAT LOVE!!

HHM

Le then wrote

le752

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Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:57 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

I just bought these for myself (along with a few other goodies) and had them shipped to his place. They just shipped yesterday though, so we won't get them until next week.

I told him that I ordered some things for myself and made him promise not to open it before I got there. These are 4" heels, and the max I really ever wear is 3" because I am 5'10". I'm also used to heels that get slightly wider at the base of the heel because I need that for stability! My guess is I'll have trouble walking around the room in them, so I may bet him that he can walk in them better than I can...then we'll go from there.

[Guest]

I just bought these for myself (along with a few other goodies) and had them shipped to his place. They just shipped yesterday though, so we won't get them until next week.

I told him that I ordered some things for myself and made him promise not to open it before I got there. These are 4" heels, and the max I really ever wear is 3" because I am 5'10". I'm also used to heels that get slightly wider at the base of the heel because I need that for stability! My guess is I'll have trouble walking around the room in them, so I may bet him that he can walk in them better than I can...then we'll go from there.

[shoefan76]

hi Le752 i like your way of thinking, the shoes look fantastic, i wish you luck with your plan. please keep us posted as to how the situation develops have fun regards kinheels

[heelsRus]

Or... ask that he wears them because you're a girl who believes in equality and that guys should be able to wear heels too. Or... tell him that you were looking at the guys section of the shoe store and found them completely boring and uninteresting - start the conversation on the fashion side, not the fetish side (you can end there later). You can tell him you thought the gals shoes were more interesting even on guys and would he mind modelling so you could test your theory. Or... ask him what he thinks about guys wearing heels because you've been thinking about why it is that only gals get to wear them - doesn't seem fair. Or... ask him if he ever thought of wearing them (no reason, just curious) Or... ask him what he'd like to do if no one cared and there were no repercussions - you'll need to come up with some ideas here yourself. This alone can be very helpful in developing trust and excitement. Unless he's very politically correct why not just be forward and ask? Good luck. And most importantly - enjoy :-)

[bladerunner]

le 752 dont know where you are based but loswobs mentioned the rocky horror show,its on again in wimbledon in may.

[davefry]

Just to add my 2p, if my lady didn't know, I'd rather her come stright out and ask me. Pussyfooting around the subject would only be a cause for concern. Best of luck.

[wineanddine]

Dear LE752: The shoes are adorable. Thank you so much for sharing this and please let us know how it turns out. I am willing to go out on a limb here and say that it will exceed your most optimistic expectations. I still remember the first time I wore heels with my wife and it was one of the few times when you feel like you are being totally vulnerable with someone you love. Have fun and good luck. Wineanddine

[Dawn HH]

Le752:-)

It sounds like you have a good plan there. I hope it all works out for you and your B/F. Keep us in the know on it. Good luck.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

Le Wrote

le752

Comfy Loafer

Comfy Loafer

Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 1:47 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I made some progress this weekend, but he still hasn't admitted it. I don't want to push too hard.

Friday night I told him I knew he had a thing for heels, because I always catch him noticing them. He said he thought they were sexy. We talked about the kind of shoes he'd like to see me in, suggested I should take him shoe shopping with me. We talked about heel height, and whether he was comfortable with me wearing heels that made me taller than he is. With shoes on, it would even things out a bit, and I lightly said "There is one thing you can do...you could wear heels too." That just got a small surprised laugh out of him.

Yesterday we were getting ready to go out for the afternoon and the movie Brazil was on TV. He had never seen it (!). There was the scene where Sam's mother was wearing a leopard print high heeled shoe--on her head as a hat. I pointed it out to him and jokingly asked if he liked the shoe.

Last night I told him about a college guy-friend of mine who liked to try on my shoes, as we had the exact same shoe size. I made it clear he was straight. We watched an Eddie Izzard video recently and I said something about him wearing heels and being straight.

I did actually put one of my shoes on him last night. They're not terribly comfortable to stand in for long periods of time, so I said "Ok, don't freak, but maybe if I put these shoes on your slightly larger feet they'll stretch out a bit and be more comfortable." Unfortunately though I couldn't see his face because he was lying on his stomach when I put it on. I just commented on how they looked great with the frat tattoo he has on the side of his foot. His comment was "I bet."

I had to back off because at one point he told me he thought I was making fun of him for having a thing for heels. I told him no, that I was just being very accepting of it, and that the only way I'd think he were weird would be if he wore them ON HIS HEAD like the woman in Brazil.

[Guest]

Well, I made some progress this weekend, but he still hasn't admitted it. I don't want to push too hard. Friday night I told him I knew he had a thing for heels, because I always catch him noticing them. He said he thought they were sexy. We talked about the kind of shoes he'd like to see me in, suggested I should take him shoe shopping with me. We talked about heel height, and whether he was comfortable with me wearing heels that made me taller than he is. With shoes on, it would even things out a bit, and I lightly said "There is one thing you can do...you could wear heels too." That just got a small surprised laugh out of him. Yesterday we were getting ready to go out for the afternoon and the movie Brazil was on TV. He had never seen it (!). There was the scene where Sam's mother was wearing a leopard print high heeled shoe--on her head as a hat. I pointed it out to him and jokingly asked if he liked the shoe. Last night I told him about a college guy-friend of mine who liked to try on my shoes, as we had the exact same shoe size. I made it clear he was straight. We watched an Eddie Izzard video recently and I said something about him wearing heels and being straight. I did actually put one of my shoes on him last night. They're not terribly comfortable to stand in for long periods of time, so I said "Ok, don't freak, but maybe if I put these shoes on your slightly larger feet they'll stretch out a bit and be more comfortable." Unfortunately though I couldn't see his face because he was lying on his stomach when I put it on. I just commented on how they looked great with the frat tattoo he has on the side of his foot. His comment was "I bet." I had to back off because at one point he told me he thought I was making fun of him for having a thing for heels. I told him no, that I was just being very accepting of it, and that the only way I'd think he were weird would be if he wore them ON HIS HEAD like the woman in Brazil.

[sendra45]

Hi,

I have been watching this topic for some time.

Others might disagree with me here, but he cant be one of us or he would recognise the stories.

Bearing in mind that he seems to be a little uneasy about all the attention, why dont you back right off for a week or two and see how it goes, if he really is into shoes like you say and he knows you are understanding about it, then he might bring the subject up.

I am not one for long, deep amd meaningful posts, but I know a little about the situation the both of you are in.

I dont think you should play games with him and shoes, that can come later , but if I was him I would have come clean by now ( This is similar to how my wife found out ), so maybe he needs more time. You tell us that you love him very much, so I guess you wont mind waiting?

BTW, life got much easier for me and my wife when I no longer had to hide anything from her. Life is good and some of you who have met her knows she shares the same passion, comes along joins in the fun and not to mention the fring benifits that come from enjoying heels

If you dont know what I mean I am not going to post it here, email me

Nigel.

Le replied with...le752

Comfy Loafer

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Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:59 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

Nigel,

By "one of us" I assume you mean HHplacers? I agree with you. I have no reason to suspect that he is on here, otherwise I wouldn't go into such detail. I just put that little thing at the end of my very first post in case he was.

Having been on his computer those times i found the shoe stuff, I have never seen signs of a visit to this site.

If he found this, he'd know right away that it was me, so right now I'm glad he's not on the site.

[Guest]

Nigel, By "one of us" I assume you mean HHplacers? I agree with you. I have no reason to suspect that he is on here, otherwise I wouldn't go into such detail. I just put that little thing at the end of my very first post in case he was. Having been on his computer those times i found the shoe stuff, I have never seen signs of a visit to this site. If he found this, he'd know right away that it was me, so right now I'm glad he's not on the site.

[jmc]

I think Nigel means a "male heel-wearer" when he says "one of us". Your boyfriend may simply be an admirer of high heels, not engaged in actually wearing them. If that is the case he has plenty of company too.

[chris100575]

Hi Le

Firstly I think it's great that you're trying to let your man know that you're ok with it if he wants to wear heels. When I'm ready to have another relationship telling my propective girlfriend is something I'm going to worry about, so it's good to know that there are girls like you that are so accepting.

I'd give him some time, and maybe try asking him to wear a pair of yours for a while to stretch them a bit if he wouldn't feel too uncomfortable. That way you're giving him a get out clause if he doesn't want to, but he'll know that you're OK with the thought of him wearing them. If it seems like skirting round the idea isn't going anywhere, probably your only option would be to either let it go and hope that he feels he can tell you himself, or flat out ask hm about it. Personally if someone I loved asked me about my heels and made it clear that she didn't have a problem with them, I'd be very happy. Although I know from the other side that it's not an easy thing to bring up.

I know that for a long while I thought that wanting to wear feminine shoes was a pretty big dent in my masculinity, which was part of what made it difficult to accept. Perhaps he's having the same thing.

Let us know how you get on, Chrisle then wrote...

le752

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Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 9:20 am Post subject: Reply with quote

That's what I thought at first, but the part about recognizing the stories made me think he meant the "stories" I have been telling here about my attempts at trying to get him to open up.

I know for a fact that he has made two women's shoe orders this month, so unless he is just building a collection or has developed an artistic side and is creating a shoe sculpture, my guess is he is wearing them around the house.

Chris, I think the dent in his masculinity thing is a big issue.

I guess I'll just back off now for a while.

[Guest]

That's what I thought at first, but the part about recognizing the stories made me think he meant the "stories" I have been telling here about my attempts at trying to get him to open up. I know for a fact that he has made two women's shoe orders this month, so unless he is just building a collection or has developed an artistic side and is creating a shoe sculpture, my guess is he is wearing them around the house. Chris, I think the dent in his masculinity thing is a big issue. I guess I'll just back off now for a while.

[sscotty727]

I know for a fact that he has made two women's shoe orders this month, so unless he is just building a collection or has developed an artistic side and is creating a shoe sculpture, my guess is he is wearing them around the house.

As I said before, unless he tells you he is wearing them or you find them in his closest, the web cache could be anything. He could also have bought them for a friend/co-worker who is relunctant to use their credit card (my sister-in-law doesn't like to use her credit cards on the net so alot of times I buy what she wants and she pays me back) or he could have gotten them as a gift for someone.

I think you planted the seeds, if he is into them he will probably say something. For now I think it is better you back off for a while or else he might start to think you are trying to push him into something he is either not into or doesn't want to discuss (yet).

[flavio]

This is incredible and I'm contributting to it... This thread started just a few days ago and has now 4 pages of posts. I don't know if the people taked the cause of our friend le752 or if every man here in the board wants a girl/wife that thinks like her, but this thread is amazingly a record. Maybe I'm wrong...