That's it, my nosey neighbour has finally flipped !

[Dawn HH]

JeffM:-) Isn't it simply amazing what "sculduggery" we can come up with when we put our collective minds together. Bubba136 does have a point there. Like he says---most of this is probably wishful thinking on our part and will never really come to fruition. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffM]

You're right Dawn I get quite a kick out of reading them and posting some my self. I know it is at the expence of some one else and normally I wouldnt do this sort of thing but I guess what he doesnt know wont hurt him. Jeff

[Bubba136]

While its fun to think up all sorts of "get evens" to be applied to "nosey neighbor," this reminds me of one of my college roommates that actually ordered a truck load of horse manure to be delivered and deposited onto a hated counsellor's front yard. Even though he will forever be remembered in the lore of the UMD as the guy that "dumped" on Scroggens, and Scroggen's house forever known as "horseshit heaven," the ensuing firestorm culminating in a one semester suspension from classes, not to mention the strain that the cost of paying for, cleaning up and disposing of the "prank," put on his parent's resources that had been set aside for his education. A worthwhile prank? Depends on how you look at it.

[genebujold]

While its fun to think up all sorts of "get evens" to be applied to "nosey neighbor," this reminds me of one of my college roommates that actually ordered a truck load of horse manure to be delivered and deposited onto a hated counsellor's front yard. Even though he will forever be remembered in the lore of the UMD as the guy that "dumped" on Scroggens, and Scroggen's house forever known as "horseshit heaven," the ensuing firestorm culminating in a one semester suspension from classes, not to mention the strain that the cost of paying for, cleaning up and disposing of the "prank," put on his parent's resources that had been set aside for his education. A worthwhile prank? Depends on how you look at it.

D- for not concealing the identity of the truck and the paper trail to the point where the manure "just appeared!"

My big college prank involved moving a large (700 lb) rock that was painted various colors by the various classes of our school's ROTC detachment. I had nothing against the ROTCs per se', it's just that when a group of five drunk engineering students (of which I was one) decide to do something to upset the status quo, they usually succeed.

The very next day, we moved the ROTCs rock from behind their dorm to in front of their chow hall in the middle of the day, during the second morning class, using a forklift "borrowed" (for $50) from a nearby construction site and driven by one of us who used to work construction (and was certified to operate a forklift). Took less than 7 minutes for the actual move. He was actually stopped by campus police, but in his jeans, mirrored sunglasses, flannel shirt, and "Hey, Mac - I just move the stuff, ya know?" attitude, along with a P.O (purchase order) printed on detachment letterhead and allegedly signed by the ROTC detachment commander, the police let him continue his mission - much to their later chagrin.

We didn't forge the commandant's signature - didn't have to. Merely his name.

As a result, instead of having to stop and salute it once in a blue moon while out back of their own building, the ROTCs had to salute it three times a day, while the rest of the campus watched, and laughed.

Don't know why, but it took them almost three weeks to figure out how to return their precious rock to it's original repository...

Could be it was punishment by the commandant for letting other abscond with their their precious rock in the first place. Then again, it could also have been an "exercise in leadership" whereby the commandant wasn't about to let those under his command off the hook until they'd figured out how to return it to its rightful resting place.

Then there was the massive (5,000+ students) snowball fight of 1981...

[Dawn HH]

Boy---You guys are something else!!! When I was in college, we didn't have time on our hands to think up any "PRANKS". We were too busy trying to get an EDUCATION and trying to work every hour that we were free in order to get enough money together to continue PAYING for our education. JeffM:-) I normally don't do things like that to other people either. I'm not that kind of person. But I am also enjoying reading and kicking ideas around. I guess that this is on a "Need-to-know" basis, and the neighbor doesn't need to know. Bubba136:-) That's a lot of "Horse Puckies". What a great story. I caught myself "Snickering" on that one, (Or was that "Nickering"). Tee! Hee! I can't help myself. I'm sure when that chap's parents found out, and the fact of his laboring to clean it up and the loss of a good chunk of his education money, would have taught him a valuable lesson not in the school's curriculum. (SP?). Genebujold:-) That sure was a great tale about moving that "Rock". Was that where the saying, "Between a rock and a hard place" came from? Snicker. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[genebujold]

Come on, DawnHH - "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!" Or in my case it was usually a case of too much play and not enough work... Yes, I worked my way through school, too, about 2 years of which included a job from 6pm to midnight, which made getting up in time for my 8am classes difficult! By comparison, now I have little difficulty getting up at any hour of the day or night to take care of a networking problem downtown, provided I don't have to keep going for more than about 6 hours before I can squeeze in a nap.

[Rockpup]

Back to the pranks.. "crime scene, do not cross" tape across the front door might get his attention.. Jim

[Dawn HH]

JimC:-) Scene 1 Take 1 - "Clap"! Neighbor's House. Knock! Knock! Knock! Mr. Neighbor? The name's Friday. I'm a cop. Your under arrest for crossing a "Crime scene tape". CUT!!! Print!!! That's a RAP!!! HEE-HEE-HEE!!! Told you I was a writer. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Bubba136]

Is that what that is called?

[genebujold]

Don't even need a sign... Just put an ad in the papers with his number on it! "Hello?" "Yes?" "Is this Mr. X?" "Yes it is - may I ask who's calling?" "I'm Mr. Y, and I was just wondering if you house was still for sale?" "What?" "I saw you listed it for about half market value - that's not a mistake, is it???" "WHAT???!" *** Or, better yet, when you know he's going to throw a large party, put an ad in the paper for an open house, say, 30% below market value. That'll pack 'em in! "I'm sorry, do I know you?" "Why, yes - I'm Mr. Y. I called you on the phone the other day about your house..." "AARRGGGHH!!!!"

[Dawn HH]

Genebujold:-) Sounds good,Gene. That should jump-start his heart. Hee! Hee! Hee! Good shock value in that. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[genebujold]

:rofl: Highly illegal, of course, but definately fun to imagine. I should become a screenwriter...

[Dawn HH]

Genebujold:-) A good sense of humor, (like mine), is what you need to become a sceen-writer, and a very furtile imagination, (again, like mine). Cheers--- Dawn HH

[genebujold]

Genebujold:-)

A good sense of humor, (like mine), is what you need to become a sceen-writer, and a very furtile imagination, (again, like mine). Cheers---

Dawn HH

Interesting...

If you haven't guessed by now, I'm a prolific writer, and my family has long since stopped inviting me to social gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas because when I'm around they're laughing so hard they can't keep the food down. I suggested they skip the turkey and go Taco Bell, which blows quite well, but it hasn't caught on. They still let me visit, but only when they need to loose a quick three to five pounds, or between 9am and 11am, so they have time to recover before dinner, and only if they've skipped breakfast. My wife and son were on force-feeding tubes a few years ago, but they yanked those after intensive psychotherapy and partial lobotomies to kill the laugh centers of the brain.

My Mom says I get my sense of humor from my uncle, which I find quite strange, considering neither of her parents were particularly funny.

The judge ordered me to take my own medication twice daily so that I don't cause serious harm to others.

Speaking of which... (gulp)

[Dawn HH]

Genebujold:-) Tee-Hee-Hee-Ha-Ha-a-a-a!!! Gene, your a riot. You have just topped the levity meter. Everybody thinks that I am quite funny also. You have to have a sense of humor these days. I've always said that if you can't laugh at yourself then you are in big trouble. Eh-Eh-Eh!!! Cheers--- Dawn HH

[genebujold]

Definately! (gulp)

[JeffM]

Dawn and Gene I am sure both of you heard the expression If you dont laugh you go mad If you go mad you dont eat If you dont eat you dont shit If you dont shit you die. So its good to laugh. Jeff

[Dawn HH]

JeffM:-) You are SO right. Laughter IS a great medicine for both the mind and body. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Dr. Shoe]

I respect people who use 4X4s for their intended purpose but have absolutely no regard for those that don't. (And towing caravans is not intended use IMO.) I was driving along a country road in Kent on my way to deliver to a farm and a Harlow Harpy came down the road in a landcruiser. She doesn't pull over so I stop. Then she stops and winds the window down and says, "You'll have to pull over!" This is like a red rag to a bull for me! "Sorry love, this lorry weighs 17 tons, it'll get stuck in the mud." "You'll have to back up then!" "Can't see out the back." She looks at me and I look at her. I then switch off my ignition and get my paper out. She says, "I'm in a hurry!" I reply: "Well I'm not, I get paid almost £9.00 per hour to sit here." "What am I supposed to do?" "Let's play a little guessing game. I'll give you a clue, you're driving an off-road vehicle!" With that she decides it is a good idea to pull over so she makes a huge task of steering the wheel and revving the engine to make it look like it's extremely difficult and I give her a cheery wave and continue on my way! Re nosey neighbour: We should take it in turns to call him and ask if Mr Simpkins is in. After he gets tired of saying "there's no Simpkins here!" We get a stooge to phone up and say: "This is Simpkins here, are there any messages?"

[Dr. Shoe]

Another thing to do is to record lots of construction noises (i.e. Hammers drills saws etc), then erect a very large screen around a part of your driveway and proceed to play said noises on a continuous loop. Your neighbour will go absolutely berserk trying to find out what you're doing!

[shyguy]

Absolute bloody genius dr. shoe. A plan so devious, Dick Dastardly would wish he thought of it.

[genebujold]

Dr. Shoe, I commend you! I cannot top that, but I can add to it... Do the "construction" in the backyard, and when you're finished, three weeks later, show the results of your labor - a manhole cover laid on the flatest part of the lawn. Nothing under it of course, but it'll sure keep your neighbor guessing! It'd be even better if you posted phony permits (you're not really building anything, so they're phony phony permits - no trouble with the law), and had a couple friends from work stop by to "inspect" the construction from time to time - while your neighbor is barbequeing out back, of course. Oh - paint the manhole cover a bright orange... There's more. About six weeks later, move it about three feet, pulling up the sod and laying it down where the old sod died. See if your nosey neighbor notices the difference - probably will, but probably won't be able to figure it out.

[Dawn HH]

Dr.Shoe:-) Genebujold:-) 1. Recording construction noises.. 2. Simkins checking for his messages.. 3. Moving the manhole cover.. What great mischievious ideas bordering on the genius. How about this---parking a 17 ton Lorry near the drive-way enclosure while playing the construction noises. That ought to help drive your noisy neighbor bonkers a bit. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Dr. Shoe]

what a good idea. Instead of painting the manhole yellow why not black and yellow like the nuclear warning mark? :rofl: :rofl:

[Dawn HH]

Dr. Shoe:-) What a fantastic idea. How about adding some warning announcements periodically with some flashing red lights and some buzzers and sirens to the nuclear painted man-hole cover, and maybe a bit of steam being vented from the cover with rotating spot-lights for night operation. I'll bet your nosey neighbor wouldn't be able to get his for-sale sign up on his front lawn quick enough. :rofl: :rofl: Talk about fertile imaginations---you guys can top mine anytime. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[azraelle]

Carrying this just a bit further, you could paint the international biohazard symbol on your manhole cover, set up signs, even a "hotline" and pathway to it indicating "Biohazard Storage Facility" or some such (more likely than a nuclear waste storage facility). This might even prompt him to go to the local city council meeting and complain about the rezoning change, with them responding with "wth are you on about?", or worse.

[Dawn HH]

Azraelle:-) What great ideas you have come up with. I think that we have messed so much with this nosey neighbor's mind by now that he would probably be running around the neighbor-hood eating grass, yelling and screaming unintelegently and trying to take bites out of the telephone poles. It might be time to back the white truck up, put him in a straight jacket, and rush him off to the nut house. HEE! HEE! Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffM]

Dawn said

he would probably be running around the neighbor-hood eating grass,

Nah

Just send him to the Falklands to eat grass with the sheep.

New Zealand would be better as there are more sheep there but it is much easier to get back home from there.

Jeff

[genebujold]

Carrying this just a bit further, you could paint the international biohazard symbol on your manhole cover, set up signs, even a "hotline" and pathway to it indicating "Biohazard Storage Facility" or some such (more likely than a nuclear waste storage facility). This might even prompt him to go to the local city council meeting and complain about the rezoning change, with them responding with "wth are you on about?", or worse.

I'm with you - full NBC (nuclear, biological, and chemical) symbols, three manhole covers, a lorry, with an opaque, 6' diameter plastic tube from the back to your front door, occasional whhhooOOOOPPPP! whhhooOOOOPPPP! sirens, at random, shots of 130 dB steam, glaring red, yellow, green, and eerie blue in a muted background glow, teams of 40+ men appearing out of nowhere in NBC suits, M-16s, clearing and cordoning off the neighborhood...

Oh.

You mean it wasn't your intention to buy up 20 to 30 properties at 1/3 their fair market value and manage them as rental properties for 3 to 5 years while the neighborhood recovered before selling them at immense profit, getting rid of your nosey neighbor at the same time?

Sorry! My bad...

[Bubba136]

Or, after placing the painted manhole cover on the lawn, walking around the back yard dressed in a "make believe bio-hazard" costume, carrying a bio hazard "sensor" on a stick (like a metal detector). It might even be appropriate to stencil the bio-hazard logo on the back of the suit. (a lot less complicated and cheaper than some of the schemes proposed here.)