Who here is autogynephilic?

[Shyheels]

We’re all on various spectrums of whatever.

As for me, I am not at all confused by my gender or orientation and do not feel the least bit less masculine in heels. I am aware though that there is an element of femininity in my make up - as there is with everybody, merely a matter of degree. Wearing heels has taught me to be comfortable with that, not threatened by it.

 

[Histiletto]

On 11/14/2023 at 4:50 AM, kneehighs said:

There are 5 types of autogynephilia, according to Phil Illy. 

• Anatomic AGP—having a woman’s body
• Sartorial AGP—donning women’s fashion
• Behavioral AGP—behaving like a woman
• Physiologic AGP—having a woman’s bodily functions
• Interpersonal AGP—socially being a woman

In most of my preschool days, I was socially pushed to feel that I should have been a girl, because of my preferences to only wear the Mary Jane shoes (Sartorial AGP), like these: which I was forced to acknowledge these shoe styles were for girls only without any other explanation or counseling. Later I was told that my preference was a phase that I would eventually grow out of. However, it actually led to my preferences for wearing heel styles, like these:in my elementary school years. Ever since then, these are the only two types and styles of footwear I have really wanted to adorn my appearance. 

In my teens, I came to the realization that I didn't have to become a girl to wear my footwear preferences, because I saw society had to dictate, promote, and bully people to wear its socially assigned clothes. By researching, I came understand and was made aware of many appareling choices, practices, manipulations, and crossdressing activities through-out history. It's not very comforting to know we live under a system of appareling enslavement in our so-called free world.

[Shyheels]

Yes, the world is blinkered. We are also our own worst enemies in being so fearful of stepping out of line and jeopardising our masculinity. Women will adopt a masculine fashion without a second thought and make it their own. Men would never dare to do the reverse.

Like you I fancied a particular style of feminine footwear as a child. In my case I really liked white go-go boots. Oddly enough it didn’t even occur to me, at first, that these were only for girls and I nearly blurted out a desire to have a pair for myself. I don’t recall what alerted me but I was mortified to find I had been hankering for a pair of girls boots.

it scared me off for many years

Edited December 22, 2023 by Shyheels

[mlroseplant]

I did realize from a very early age, say, younger than 6, that the white go-go boots were for girls only. Or the black, as the case may be. And somewhere, in my own interpretation later on, I decided that I liked wearing such "forbidden" items, but that I had to have a certain presence with them that was more on the feminine side. I can remember the first time I saw myself in the mirror with high heels on, I was horrified. I looked absolutely terrible! I vowed never to wear them again, they just weren't for me. And, for the following 15 years, I did little to nothing with it.

As life became more stable and more comfortable, I took it up again, this time for real. And I tried to address my concerns about looking terrible, which had mainly to do with posture and gait, and a little bit to do with how the rest of me was dressed. I never entertained any serious thoughts of trying to change my gender or my gender appearance, I just wanted to be cool and graceful.

[pebblesf]

On 12/12/2023 at 1:49 AM, Shyheels said:

We’re all on various spectrums of whatever.

As for me, I am not at all confused by my gender or orientation and do not feel the least bit less masculine in heels. I am aware though that there is an element of femininity in my make up - as there is with everybody, merely a matter of degree. Wearing heels has taught me to be comfortable with that, not threatened by it.

 

For sure buddy!  I agree, that a touch of femininity (nice boots like yours), can actually magnify your confidence and masculinity for sure!

14 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Yes, the world is blinkered. We are also our own worst enemies in being so fearful of stepping out of line and jeopardising our masculinity. Women will adopt a masculine fashion without a second thought and make it their own. Men would never dare to do the reverse.

Like you I fancied a particular style of feminine footwear as a child. In my case I really liked white go-go boots. Oddly enough it didn’t even occur to me, at first, that these were only for girls and I nearly blurted out a desire to have a pair for myself. I don’t recall what alerted me but I was mortified to find I had been hankering for a pair of girls boots.

it scared me off for many years

Same here buddy...  But, so happy to have returned to the boots I was so intrigued by as a kid...

[Shyheels]

On 12/22/2023 at 11:16 AM, mlroseplant said:

I did realize from a very early age, say, younger than 6, that the white go-go boots were for girls only. Or the black, as the case may be. And somewhere, in my own interpretation later on, I decided that I liked wearing such "forbidden" items, but that I had to have a certain presence with them that was more on the feminine side. I can remember the first time I saw myself in the mirror with high heels on, I was horrified. I looked absolutely terrible! I vowed never to wear them again, they just weren't for me. And, for the following 15 years, I did little to nothing with it.

As life became more stable and more comfortable, I took it up again, this time for real. And I tried to address my concerns about looking terrible, which had mainly to do with posture and gait, and a little bit to do with how the rest of me was dressed. I never entertained any serious thoughts of trying to change my gender or my gender appearance, I just wanted to be cool and graceful.

Interesting! The first time I saw myself in heels - in my case chocolate brown knee boots with five inch stiletto heels worn over skinny jeans - I was unsettled. Not horrified, but definitely unsettled. It felt very strange to see myself in stilettos. Rather than get all self conscious about it, as I might usually have done, I studied what I saw and I realised that was unsettling about it was not that I looked bad in heels but the unexpectedness of it, the femininity of them as counterpoint to the rest of me.

Considered dispassionately I did not look bad in stilettos. My legs are slender from being generally fit, and if one was to see an image of just my legs, from the thighs down, one would have made an assumption that it was a picture of a woman’s legs in high heels. It is only when one sees the male top half that the unsettling bit comes in.

My conclusion is that men do not intrinsically look bad in heels - it’s just that it is unexpected, contrary to the norms and therefor unsettling. The more it is seen, the less unsettling. And perhaps the more minds open to the idea that men can look good in heels.

[pebblesf]

9 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Interesting! The first time I saw myself in heels - in my case chocolate brown knee boots with five inch stiletto heels worn over skinny jeans - I was unsettled. Not horrified, but definitely unsettled. It felt very strange to see myself in stilettos. Rather than get all self conscious about it, as I might usually have done, I studied what I saw and I realised that was unsettling about it was not that I looked bad in heels but the unexpectedness of it, the femininity of them as counterpoint to the rest of me.

Considered dispassionately I did not look bad in stilettos. My legs are slender from being generally fit, and if one was to see an image of just my legs, from the thighs down, one would have made an assumption that it was a picture of a woman’s legs in high heels. It is only when one sees the male top half that the unsettling bit comes in.

My conclusion is that men do not intrinsically look bad in heels - it’s just that it is unexpected, contrary to the norms and therefor unsettling. The more it is seen, the less unsettling. And perhaps the more minds open to the idea that men can look good in heels.

So true.  Men with nice legs look great in heels, why not show them off!  I remember the first time I slipped into my sister's red go go boots as a kid, I loved the way I looked in them.  And even today, I think I look pretty good in my stiletto boots with nice fitting levis/jeans.  I think the contrast is confident and looks a little powerful.  It makes me feel good when I get the rare compliment from a guy asking me if it is hard to wear high heel boots, I always do my best to encourage them to try a pair.  

[mlroseplant]

22 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Interesting! The first time I saw myself in heels - in my case chocolate brown knee boots with five inch stiletto heels worn over skinny jeans - I was unsettled. Not horrified, but definitely unsettled. It felt very strange to see myself in stilettos. Rather than get all self conscious about it, as I might usually have done, I studied what I saw and I realised that was unsettling about it was not that I looked bad in heels but the unexpectedness of it, the femininity of them as counterpoint to the rest of me.

Considered dispassionately I did not look bad in stilettos. My legs are slender from being generally fit, and if one was to see an image of just my legs, from the thighs down, one would have made an assumption that it was a picture of a woman’s legs in high heels. It is only when one sees the male top half that the unsettling bit comes in.

My conclusion is that men do not intrinsically look bad in heels - it’s just that it is unexpected, contrary to the norms and therefor unsettling. The more it is seen, the less unsettling. And perhaps the more minds open to the idea that men can look good in heels.

For the time, I was unable to be dispassionate. I had no hope of being able to wear heels in public in the late 1980s, as a practical matter. And I really did look terrible. It may be fortunate that I had that reaction at the time, because it allowed me to live my life more or less in peace for another 15 or so years, by which time society had changed enough to where I was able to do my thing without a terrible price to pay. Unlike you, I immediately dismissed myself as having any decent looking feminine qualities. If I had taken 10 minutes to really assess what I saw in the mirror, I would have realized that all of the visual dissonances I objected to could have been addressed individually and collectively with a small amount of effort. I'm not much of a believer in destiny, but that chance encounter with the mirror definitely changed my life, and it was ultimately for the better.

[Shyheels]

I was considerably older at the time than you would have been in the 1980s and, I suppose, the added maturity in years - to say nothing of the very different world of the 2010s - allowed me to take a more dispassionate look and more calculated appraisal, although, as I say, it was still unsettling to see myself in stiletto knee boots and skinny jeans.